Chapter Four
When she arrived back at Trip’s place on Saturday evening, Shelley turned off the main road and into the driveway. Although driveway was such a small word for the road that led across Trip’s ranch to the house.
It was such a beautiful place. She’d fallen in love with it the first time she came here. She’d fallen in love with the whole area, but Trip’s place was something special. The driveway traversed open meadows before reaching and following the creek. For months the whole place had been a beautiful white snowscape. Now, the cottonwood trees that lined the creek were starting to come back to life.
When she rounded the corner, the sight of the house made her smile. Of all the places she’d been on her travels, this had to be the most beautiful. And if she were honest about it, Trip was the most amazing person she’d met.
She’d be gone soon enough, and after she left, she wanted to be able to look back on this time fondly. There was no point in getting in her head about what might have been. She just needed to enjoy the time she had left.
She parked by the kitchen door and cut the engine, staring up at the house for a few moments.
Wherever she went next would have a tough time living up to this.
When the kitchen door opened, and Trip appeared, she knew that all she could do was be grateful that she’d had this time with him. She’d probably always regret that they hadn’t had anything more, but his friendship was something special in itself.
She climbed out of the car and greeted him with a smile. Butterflies took to flight in her stomach when he smiled back. He was so freaking handsome; he took her breath away.
At work, he always looked sharp. But right now, dressed in jeans and a blue Henley, he looked even sexier. His hair was damp, as though he was fresh from the shower.
“Hey,” he greeted her as she trotted up the steps.
“Hi.”
She closed her eyes when he leaned in to kiss her cheek. That was something new. When he’d done it last night, she’d hoped for a moment that it might lead to more.
She opened her eyes when he stepped back and gave him a rueful smile. There wasn’t going to be anything more between them. She had to get that into her stubborn head.
He was a friend. That was all. And when she left, he’d be nothing more than a memory.
“Come on in,” he said. “I hope you’re hungry.”
She laughed. “I am. I know you only invited me over to help with the food, so I made sure to have a light lunch.”
When he reached the counter, he leaned back against it and gave her a puzzled smile. “I hope you don’t mean that.”
“Mean what?”
“That I only invited you over to help me eat everything Maisie cooked.”
She shrugged. “I kind of do.”
He held her gaze for a long moment, and her heart leaped into her throat when he said, “There’s more to it than that, Shelley.”
She wanted to believe that he meant there was more between them, but she’d learned her lesson last night. He’d said he was only joking when he talked about wanting her to stay.
She laughed. “You mean you want me to help you work your way through the wine cellar, too? I’m down for that.”
He made a face. “Something like that. And since you mention it, do you want to come down there and choose with me again?”
“Okay.”
She followed him down the stairs to the wine cellar, wondering what it must be like to even have a wine cellar.
“Any ideas what you’d like?” he asked.
She bit down on her bottom lip. She needed to stop thinking this way. She was so tempted to tell him what she’d really like—to spend the night with him. Not just here in his house with him.
She was taking too long to answer, and he gave her a puzzled look. “Is everything all right?” he asked.
“Yeah. Sorry. I guess I just have a lot on my mind.” That wasn’t a lie.
He frowned. “Anything I can help with?”
“No, it’s all good.” That wasn’t exactly a lie either. She might like him to help her out with what she was thinking about, but …
He’d made it clear last night that he didn’t … But no. To be fair, that wasn’t true.
He hadn’t given her any indication that he wasn’t attracted to her. Only that he wasn’t expecting her to stay long term.
She pressed her lips together. Perhaps that would make things easier. Perhaps if they agreed that she was definitely going to leave in a few weeks, it might open the door for them to have some kind of relationship.
Even if only a short, physical one.
He took a step toward her, and her heart started to hammer in her chest.
“What is it, Shelley?”
The concern in his eyes sent a rush of warmth through her veins.
She gave him a rueful smile. “Sorry. It’s nothing. I’m being silly. Let’s choose the wine. What are you thinking—red or white?”
“Are you sure you don’t want to explain?” he asked.
She let out a short laugh. “ Want to? Yeah. Am I going to? No. So… wine.”
He smirked. “Fair enough. If you enjoyed it, I was thinking we could have the Shiraz again.”
She smiled. “That sounds perfect. I did enjoy it.”
~ ~ ~
After they’d eaten, they moved to the den. Shelley took the same spot she’d sat in last night on one end of the sofa. Trip set his glass of wine and the decanter on the coffee table before taking the other end. He pointed the remote at the TV and turned to her with a smile.
“I haven’t forgotten. I promise I’ll stay quiet while you watch the end.”
She laughed. “Thanks. The only trouble is, I don’t know where I was up to before I fell asleep.”
Trip scrolled to the movie and fast-forwarded to the last point he remembered Shelley being awake. “Do you want the remote?” he asked. “I know it was somewhere after this, but I don’t know exactly when you dropped off.”
He didn’t understand the shocked look she gave him.
“What?” he asked. “Did I do something wrong?”
“Not so much wrong as…” She trailed off, shaking her head. “Kind of unbelievable.”
He gave her a puzzled smile. “I don’t get it. What do you mean?”
She took the remote from his hand. “I mean, I can’t believe that you’re giving this thing up.”
He laughed. “Why wouldn’t I?”
“Because you’re a man.”
He still didn’t understand. “And…?”
“And men don’t give up the remote.” She sounded as though she was explaining the simplest, most obvious fact in the world to someone who should know better.
“You’re serious, aren’t you?” he asked.
“You don’t get it.”
“No, I don’t. You’re going to have to educate me. What’s the deal?”
She made a face. “I know I’m speaking for myself, and I know it’s a generalization, but I think I’m pretty much speaking for women everywhere when I say that men tend to hog the remote. It’s a control thing, I think.”
Trip shrugged. “I’ve never heard that one before. I don’t think I have control issues.” He narrowed his eyes at her. “Do I?”
“Not that I’ve ever noticed. And I apologize—I shouldn’t lump you in with my ex. Although I really did think it was a men-in-general thing, not just him in particular. Are you telling me that when you were married, you didn’t hog the remote?”
He made a face. He didn’t like to talk about Katrina or his marriage. But he probably shouldn’t be so touchy about it.
“I think if you were to ask…” He stopped and shook his head. “Forget that. I’ll try again. I think if you were to ask her, my ex would tell you that I wasn’t home enough to hog the remote.”
He let out a short, bitter laugh. “If you ask me, I’d say that the only control issues I had were about being controlled .”
Shelley’s smile vanished. “Shit. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to—”
He shook his head. “No, it’s okay. I’m the one who should be sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”
“I’m glad you did. That’s a part of your life I don’t know much about.”
He met her gaze. “It’s not something I talk about much.”
“Right. And I shouldn’t be asking. It’s none of my business. I know.”
She pointed the remote at the TV, and Trip was tempted to tell her that he wished it were her business. But what would be the point? She’d made it clear that she wanted to leave soon.
Hell, he didn’t talk about his marriage or Katrina with anyone these days.
Shelley fast-forwarded through the movie, then backed up a little. Once she found the spot she was happy with, she turned to him with a smile. “This is the last thing I remember seeing.”
“Then let’s watch from here; I promise I’ll be quiet.”
She made a face. “You make me sound terrible.”
His heart sank. Katrina used to say that to him all the time.
Shelley gave him a puzzled look. “Jeez, I was only joking.”
He blew out a sigh. “Sorry.”
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
“Nothing. Never mind me. Let’s watch the rest of the movie.”
She held his gaze for a long moment, but he shrugged.
It’d be quicker and easier to get back to the movie than to explain that he got kind of irritable whenever he was reminded of his ex.
While Shelley watched the end of last night’s movie, Trip mostly stared at the screen, unseeing.
He wished the subject of Katrina hadn’t come up. As he took a sip of his wine, he reminded himself that all he needed to do was let it go. He glanced over at Shelley when she laughed. He’d be crazy to sit here stewing about his ex while she was here.
She must have sensed him looking because she turned to him with a grin and held up her glass. “Thanks for letting me see the end. That was really good.”
He glanced at the screen. He’d been so occupied with his thoughts that he hadn’t realized the movie was over.
“I’m glad you enjoyed it,” he said with a smile. He jerked his chin toward her almost-empty glass. “Looks like you enjoyed that as well. Want another?”
She nodded happily. “Please.”
He picked up the remote that was sitting on the sofa between them and handed it to her. “Why don’t you see what else you’d like to watch while I pour?”
This time, she took the remote without comment and started scrolling through the long list of romantic comedies he had saved.
He refilled their glasses and slid hers toward her.
“Thanks.” She picked up the glass and held it up to him. “I’m sorry I pissed you off earlier.”
He squeezed his eyes shut. “Don’t be. You didn’t.”
She raised her eyebrows, obviously not believing him.
“I should be the one apologizing. I get irritated when I think about Katrina.”
Shelley leaned her head to the side and studied him curiously.
“What?” he asked when he couldn’t take the scrutiny any longer.
“Do you mind if I ask you something?”
He sighed. “Go ahead. I think I’d rather you ask than keep studying me like that. I’m starting to feel like a bug under a microscope.”
She laughed. “I didn’t mean to make you feel that way. I’m just curious…”
“Go ahead. You can ask me anything. I’m not promising that I’ll answer,” he added with a smirk, “but you can ask.”
“Okay, now that you’ve said that, I feel safe to ask… Are you still hung up on her?”
He almost choked on the sip of wine he’d just taken.
Shelley grabbed a napkin from the table and handed it to him while he set his glass down and finished sputtering.
“Hell no,” he said when he could finally speak again. “Why would you ask that?”
She shrugged. “Just curious. You admitted that you get irritated, and I wondered why. Why does it still matter? When the subject of my ex comes up, I don’t really feel anything anymore.”
She pursed her lips as though giving her statement careful consideration. “If anything, I wonder how he’s doing. I hope he’s doing well. I… I don’t know. Whatever I feel, it’s kind of… neutral, you know?”
“It’s different for you. I feel bad that I pissed you off when I talked about the remote. But it’s not just tonight. I’ve noticed it whenever her name is mentioned, you get kind of… prickly.”
He nodded slowly. “You’re right. I do, but it’s not because I still have any feelings for her.” He frowned. “At least, not those kinds of feelings. Resentful is probably the best word for the way I feel.”
He met her gaze. “She was a difficult woman—and that’s not just me. You can ask anyone. And to say that she made our divorce difficult would be an understatement.”
He looked around the room, remembering the hard time he’d gone through while he and Katrina were negotiating their divorce.
“She wanted this place.”
Shelley inhaled sharply. “Seriously? How did she even think that was a possibility, let alone a good idea? I mean… this place was your family home. Your dad built it for your mom. Even I know that, and I haven’t known you all that long. How on earth…?”
He shook his head. “Don’t ask me to explain her reasoning. I never could. All I can tell you is that I think she loved this house—and what she saw as the prestige that came from living here—more than she ever loved me.”
He felt bad when Shelley gave him a sympathetic look.
“Don’t feel bad for me. It was my own damn fault. If I’m honest, I was kind of full of myself when I was younger. I thought I deserved a woman like her.”
He gave her a wry smile. “Turns out I did. I deserved everything I got. She was a beautiful woman,” he continued. “I’m sure she still is. I thought that mattered. I think in her mind, it’s all that matters. But the thing is…”
He shook his head. “There are so many things that matter so much more. Things like kindness. Compassion. Just basic human decency.” He made a face. “Shit. I don’t mean to badmouth her—I’m just … You asked if I get irritated because I still have feelings for her. The simple answer is no, but I feel like I owe you more than just a simple answer. I think the real explanation is that I’m still irritated with myself.”
He let out a breath. “I’m irritated that I was foolish enough—and, let’s face it, shallow enough—back then to put her good looks ahead of what really matters.”
He shrugged. “And… thanks.”
She gave him a puzzled look.
“I don’t think I ever really understood that until now, and if you hadn’t asked, I wouldn’t have figured it out.”
He was relieved when she smiled and said, “Then I’m happy to have been able to help.”
He picked up his glass. “And now, I’ll return the favor and help you out by zipping it so you can enjoy the next movie.”
A rush of warmth filled his chest when she met his gaze and said, “Thanks. But I hope you know that most of the enjoyment comes from being here watching it with you.”
~ ~ ~
Shelley enjoyed the beginning of the movie, but before too long, she noticed her eyes kept drifting shut. She didn’t know why—she wasn’t tired. Maybe it was all the good food and good wine.
She stole a glance at Trip, but he was engrossed in the movie. He’d kept his word and stayed quiet for most of the evening. Maybe that was why she felt so relaxed around him.
He shot her a smile. “Do you want to call it a night? Are you falling asleep over there?”
She shook her head. She really didn’t want the evening to be over.
“Put your feet up if you like. You might as well be comfortable,” he told her.
She smiled when an idea struck her. It might be a terrible idea, but there was only one way to find out.
Instead of putting her feet up on the cushions between them, she moved over and lay down, resting her head on his lap and stretching her feet out at the other end of the sofa.
The shocked look on his face made her laugh.
“Is this okay?” she asked. “You did say I could put my feet up.”
She relaxed when a big smile spread across his face.
“This is perfect.”
“I think so,” she agreed, turning her head so she could see the movie.
She could see it, but she couldn’t focus on it. She certainly couldn’t claim to be watching it; she was just enjoying the moment.
Trip seemed tense at first, but after a little while, he moved his hand and brushed her hair away from her face.
She looked up at him with a smile, and he smiled right back.
“I was just checking if you were still awake,” he explained.
“I am, for now. But I don’t know how long I’ll last.” She grinned. “I’m comfy, though, so I’m happy to hang out if you want to watch the rest of the movie.”
“Okay. If you fall asleep again, I’ll wake you up when it’s over. How does that sound?”
She nodded happily. “Sounds like a plan to me.”
She turned back to face the TV but closed her eyes when he stroked his hand over her hair. Shivers chased each other down her spine. She wanted to say something, but she didn’t dare. She didn’t know if he was only doing that because he thought she was already asleep. She didn’t want to overthink any of it. She was just going to go with the moment and enjoy it.
It seemed like only moments later when she heard him say, “Shelley, honey…”
“Mm?”
“Do you want to move up to bed? The movie’s over.”
She turned onto her back so she could look up at him. “Damn, that went fast.”
He chuckled. “You’ve been there for an hour.”
“Wow. I had no idea. Yeah. I guess we’d better move up to bed, hadn’t we?”
She sat up, and he got to his feet. He held his hand out and hauled her up to join him. When they were standing toe to toe, she decided to take another risk and held her arms out.
“Hug goodnight?” she asked.
For a second, she felt as though she’d done the wrong thing. She couldn’t read the expression on his face, and he seemed to tense. Before she could step back, his arms closed around her. She melted against his hard chest, wrapping her arms around his waist, and when he pressed a kiss to her forehead, she gave him a squeeze.
Instead of letting her go, he squeezed right back.
They stood there that way for what seemed like minutes, but was probably just a few moments, before he stepped back.
“I’ll get your bag from the kitchen,” he said.
“Thanks.”
She followed him, and when he picked up the small duffel she’d packed as an overnight bag, she reached for it. He held it away from her with a smile.
“I can bring it. I’m guessing you brought pajamas, but I left the ones from last night on the end of the bed if you want those.”
She pressed her lips together, not sure if she should admit just how much she’d enjoyed sleeping in his pajamas.
It was a little thing, and a silly thing at that. She met his gaze and held it. Perhaps he understood—he’d left them out for her.
The way he winked at her made her breath catch.
Did he know what she was thinking?
He offered her his hand and headed for the stairs.
Excitement bubbled in her chest.
Maybe he did.
Maybe he was thinking the same way.
When they reached the top of the stairs, he walked her down the hallway and stopped at the door to the guest room.
“Here you go.”
She looked up into his eyes, and it was only when he squeezed her hand that she realized despite his words, he hadn’t let go of it.
She raised her eyebrows, not wanting to come right out and ask the question.
It seemed she didn’t need to.
He tilted his head to the side and said, “It’s entirely up to you.”