Chapter Twenty-One
When he arrived back home, Trip slowed after turning into the driveway. He knew Shelley wasn't far behind him, but as usual, he didn't relax until he saw her turn off the highway.
He wished that she would ride with him, but he knew she had a point when she said she'd be stranded if he had to go back to the hospital. It wasn't entirely true — she'd never really be stranded at his place. Brody was usually around, and even if he wasn't, one of the hands would gladly give her a ride wherever she wanted to go.
He understood it, though. She was an independent woman, and the last thing he wanted to do was take her independence away from her.
He crossed the creek and looked back, only fully relaxing when he saw her car emerge from the cottonwoods.
He smiled as the thought hit him — he didn't know when her birthday was, but he hoped it was soon.
He’d worried about her over the winter, driving that little car of hers, and he wanted to buy her something more suitable for the roads out here. He didn't know if she'd accept a gift like that from him, but he figured her birthday would be his best chance. Either that or Christmas — but Christmas was a long way off, and the snow usually flew before then.
When he pulled up behind the house, he cut the engine and sat there for a moment as it dawned on him just how naturally it came to him to think about having her in his life long term.
He turned and smiled when she pulled up beside him.
He opened the door to let them in and smiled to himself when she went straight to the half-empty bottle of wine standing on the counter from last night. She picked it up and raised her eyebrows.
"Should we finish it off while we think about dinner?"
He nodded happily, watching her take down two glasses from the cabinet.
"Any idea what you'd like to eat?" he asked.
"I was thinking something quick and easy, depending on how hungry you are."
She went to the fridge and looked inside, laughing as she turned back to him. "Are you in the mood for a char-cooty board?"
He raised an eyebrow.
Shelley grinned. "Charcuterie, if you want to be fancy—but around here, we call it a char-cooty board. Good enough to impress fancy out-of-towners."
He chuckled, loving the way she included herself as a local. “Do we have what we need?"
"We do." She started taking packets out of the fridge, placing them on the counter. "I can put something together in no time. Why don't you take a seat? How was the hospital this afternoon?"
Part of him wanted to offer to help, but another part was enjoying this so much that he pulled up a stool at the island, turning it around to face her so that he could watch her work.
She glanced back over her shoulder at him. "Was everything okay? Sorry, I should have asked before now."
"No, everything's fine," he told her. "Everyone's doing okay."
He knew what she was referring to — they'd lost a patient last week, and it had hit him hard.
He hadn't consciously compared Shelley to Katrina in a while, but the concern and compassion Shelley had shown when he was down over losing old Bart Simmons couldn’t have been a starker contrast to the way Katrina used to tell him that he shouldn't get so involved, that it was only a job.
He smiled. "If I was quiet, it was because I was just enjoying the moment."
She stuck her tongue out at him. "Are you trying to tell me that I'm talking too much? Fair enough."
She turned back to the cutting board. "I'll give you some peace."
He slid down from the stool and went to stand behind her, closing his arms around her waist and resting his chin on her shoulder.
He lifted his head. "That's not what I meant, and you know it."
She looked up at him with a smile.
"I do. But I also know you need a bit of peace when you come in. Especially on hospital days."
He rested his chin back down on her shoulder. "I feel peaceful with you."
"Aww. I know what you mean. I feel peaceful with you, too. It's easy, this — being together."
Her eyes widened as if she’d just realized what she'd said.
He didn't want to give her the chance to overthink it.
"It is," he said. "Peaceful and easy — and... right. And when I said that I was enjoying the moment, that's what I meant. And..." He hesitated, but he had to tell her. "I was enjoying you. Enjoying watching you."
She raised her eyebrows.
"The way you just came in and started figuring out dinner," he explained. "The way you're so at home here."
"I do feel at home with you, Trip. I was just thinking that this afternoon."
He took a breath.
He’d thought he was on the verge of officially asking her to move in with him, but the way she'd just shifted it — saying she felt at home with him when he'd been talking about her being at home in his house — gave him pause.
There was no rush. Maybe it wouldn't be fair to ask her right now. Not when she and Harper were moving into the cottage this weekend.
He pressed a kiss to her temple before straightening up.
"Are you sure I can't do anything to help?"
"All I want you to do is go sit down and enjoy your wine."
He picked up his glass. "I reckon I can manage that."
Once he was seated again and she had her back turned, she said, "I got the ad finished this afternoon. I can show you later if you like."
That brought a smile to his face. "That's okay. I don't think we'll need it."
She spun around. "Trip, I..."
He held his hand up to stop her. "Don't worry. I'm not saying that I expect you to stay. I know you want to be done with me as soon as possible."
She stalked across the kitchen toward him and came to stand between his legs, resting her hands on his shoulders and pressing a kiss to his lips.
"I hope you're just teasing me. You know I don't want to be done with you—only with the job."
He chuckled and kissed her back.
"I do. And I wasn't even teasing. It was just a careless choice of words on my part. What I should have said is that I know you've stayed longer than you really wanted to, just to help me out. And I know you're eager to start working with Jim."
She nodded. "That's right."
"When I said I don't think we'll need the ad, what I meant is... I might have found someone. Well, Emmett suggested it."
"Who?"
"I don't know if you know her—Brooke. She's younger, the same age as Laney and Janey, I think. She works all kinds of jobs. I don't know how much office work she's done, but she's smart. And she's good with people."
Shelley smiled. "I do know Brooke. In fact, she was one of the first people I got to know here in town. She works at the gas station by the grocery store."
"That's her."
“Her brother’s one of your gang of friends, isn’t he?”
"Yeah. Blane. Although he doesn't come home too often. He's like Mav — he works with Mav and Cash."
Shelley looked thoughtful. "You know what? That might be a really good idea. Like you said, Brooke’s good with people. She's very bright. It always surprised me that she was working at the gas station. But..."
Trip chuckled. "That girl has worked every job you can think of — and a few that you wouldn't think of for someone like her."
When Shelley gave him a puzzled look, he chuckled again.
"Well, more like jobs that Blane hates to think about her doing. She was working overnight at the gas station for a while there — but Blane put a stop to that. She was delivering pizzas for a while, too."
"Oh no," Shelley said. "She's got so much more about her. She could easily do the receptionist job. Have you spoken to her?"
"No. I thought I'd give her a call tomorrow, but I wanted to talk to you first. How hard do you think it would be to train her?"
"Not hard at all. She's bright. I think she'd pick it up in no time. And if you know her and get along with her, that'll be a big part of it."
He curled his arms around her waist and drew her closer.
"I think so too." He pressed a kiss to her lips. "It won't be the same as having you there."
"I know. But since we have to find a replacement for me, I think Brooke could be a good fit."
He shook his head adamantly.
"What?" she asked with a small smile. "What did I say wrong?"
"Finding a replacement for you." He shook his head again. "No one could ever replace you, honey. You're irreplaceable."
"Aww," she teased. "There you go, sweet talking again."
He tightened his grip on her hips. "Just telling you the truth. I'll be okay with someone else managing the reception for me. But you're the one — the only one — I want in my life. Until I met you, I didn't think I wanted anyone. And if you decide I'm not what you want, I won't be replacing you. I guarantee you that."
His heart pounded in his chest as she rested her forehead against his and looked down into his eyes.
"You are what I want, Trip, I ...”
His throat went dry, and his heart pounded even harder. For a moment, he thought she was about to say I love you.
She didn’t; instead, she said, "You're irreplaceable to me too."
~ ~ ~
After they’d eaten, Shelley leaned back in her chair, smiling as she watched Trip pick at the few remaining crackers.
“Did you get enough to eat? I can make –”
He shook his head with a guilty smile. “I’m good, I’m just picking at them because they’re there. That was the perfect dinner, thank you. I appreciate it,” he said as he got to his feet and started to gather the dishes.
“It wasn’t exactly a big deal,” she said as she stood to join him.
“It was to me, honey.”
The way he met her gaze and held it said more than words could have conveyed. She nodded, understanding damn well that even though he might not want to say it out loud, he appreciated that she took care of him when she could.
She let out a short laugh when a thought struck her.
“What? What did I do now?”
“Nothing, I'm not laughing at you. It just struck me funny that we seem to have turned each other into the opposite of what we used to be."
"Huh?" He gave her a puzzled look. "What do you mean?"
"I mean that I really enjoy doing whatever little things I can to take care of you. Whereas before..." She met his gaze. "Part of the reason Jeff and I didn't work out in the long term is that I grew to resent the way he expected me to take care of him."
She shrugged. "And it seems to me that you're the same. Some of the things you've said about Katrina... some of the ways she used to make you feel uncomfortable... I feel as though sometimes I do similar things to what she used to."
She broke off when she saw the look on his face, suddenly wondering if she should have kept her mouth shut. She knew what she meant, but she didn’t think she was explaining it very well.
She relaxed when he smiled.
"Don't look so worried. You're right. You're absolutely right. I guess the difference is... I don't mind doing anything for you — because I want to. And at the same time, I know that you neither expect nor need me to."
She nodded. "Yeah, that's it. I'm the same way."
They exchanged a smile, and her pulse quickened when he said,
"I guess it’s not the roles that we had a problem with so much as... the people. I’ve seen it with each of the guys as they met their women. I’ve almost called them hypocrites a couple of times. Things they used to bitch about — they do happily now. I guess it just takes finding the right person."
Shelley inhaled sharply. "I guess it does."
It didn’t take long to clean up after dinner, and when they were done, Trip extended his hand.
"What do you say – do you want to go for a walk?"
"I’d love to."
She loved the way he kept hold of her hand even while he opened the kitchen door and then closed it again behind them.
"Are you laughing at me again?" he asked as they made their way down the steps from the deck.
"I am not. I'm just noticing another detail. It used to drive me nuts when Jeff wanted to hold my hand; it felt weird."
Trip looked down at their entwined fingers. For a moment, she worried he was about to let go. Instead, he gave her hand a squeeze.
"Yeah, I used to get in trouble over that. I never saw the point in holding hands. And the thing was — it felt like she only ever wanted me to do it when there were people around to see. Turns out, when it’s just for the two of us, I can’t say I get the point... but I can tell you that I love how it feels."
Hearing him use the word love set her heart racing.
Laney's words echoed in her head. He’s in love with you and I’d say you feel the same way—even if you don’t know it yet.
As they made their way down the drive toward the barn, two horses came trotting over to greet them. They went straight to Trip, hanging their heads over the fence while he patted their necks and scratched their ears.
"Where did they come from?" Shelley asked.
Trip laughed. "They've been in the barn the whole time — or out in the pasture behind it."
She crossed her eyes at him. "I'm not that bad. I knew you had horses, but I’d never seen them out here before."
"Brody rotates the pasture we use for them. I guess he figured it was time to move them out here now."
He laughed when one of the horses shoved him with its nose.
"Yeah, buddy, I know. I've missed you too." He smiled at Shelley. "I love it when they’re in this field next to the driveway. They usually come greet the car whenever I get home. Sometimes we race back to the house."
"Oh my gosh, that’s awesome."
Shelley reached out tentatively to touch the second horse. She relaxed a little when it turned big, gentle brown eyes on her and leaned into her touch.
"There you go. See?" Trip said encouragingly. "He likes it."
He chuckled as he added, "And I can’t say I blame him. Why wouldn’t he want your hands on him?"
"Are you saying that you want my hands on you, Dr. Harvey?"
He nodded enthusiastically—and the brown horse he was petting let out a knicker that sounded a lot like a chuckle.
Trip laughed. "I probably shouldn't say it in front of these guys. They understand everything, you know."
Shelley had to laugh when the gray horse she was petting nodded its head sagely.
"Well, forgive me," she said to the horses. "I apologize for being so thoughtless." She turned her smile on Trip. "Although I won’t apologize for the offer."
Trip took hold of her hand again.
"In that case—if it was an offer, not just a tease—then it's time we headed back to the house."
Shelley petted the horses one last time before stepping back.
"That sounds like a plan to me. But... do you mind if we stop to see Brody first?"
He gave her a puzzled look. "We can, but..."
She laughed. "Don't look so worried. It’s just that Ford dropped those papers off for him. I thought we should get them to him before I forget."
Trip tugged on her hand.
"No need. I’ll shoot him a quick text and tell him I’ll leave them in the mudroom for him."
"You don’t want to walk them down there?" she asked. "It won’t take long."
He was already hurrying them back up the driveway toward the house.
"However fast we could do it’d take too long. That’s all I know."
He curled his arm around her waist as they walked, and she did the same — tucking her fingers into the back pocket of his jeans.
He turned to smile at her, and when she turned to meet him, he kissed the tip of her nose.
"I love this, Shelley. I love you being here."
Her heart seemed to thud to a halt. For a moment there, she thought he was about to say I love you.
There was a time in her life, not long after her divorce, when she'd promised herself she wouldn’t ever trade those words with a man again.
And yet she knew damn well that if Trip had said them, she would have happily said them back.