Chapter 7 Luke
LUKE
Luke woke to sunlight streaming across the bed and Bella’s head on his shoulder. She was still asleep, and Luke took it all in: the gentle curl of her eyelashes, her soft pink cheeks, her hair fanned across the pillow. Bella’s chest rose and fell softly, and a faint smile played across her lips.
Luke didn’t move a muscle. It had been a very long time since he’d woken up like this, and he wanted to savor it.
He wanted to remember Bella’s soft bakery smell and the way her hand rested on his chest. He wanted to remember her curves pressed against him.
He wanted to remember every second of last night.
He wanted to remember all this because he knew that the moment they were both awake, the moment they walked out this door, it would all be over.
It was the only way forward. Luke had had a wonderful time with Bella, but he wasn’t ready for a real, serious relationship.
He only had room in his life for work right now, and he’d only disappoint her, and himself, if he tried to make room for her.
Bella deserved more than a workaholic who took one day off a month and slept at the hospital half the time.
She deserved someone who could seize the moment with her, build a future with her — and Luke just wasn’t that guy.
Even if, in this moment, he wanted to be.
Beyond that, Luke knew he wasn’t ready to open his heart again. After the way he’d lost his wife, he’d end up wrapping Bella in bubble wrap to keep her from ever getting hurt. He’d worry every moment he wasn’t with her that something had happened. And Bella deserved better than that, too.
Just then, a phone alarm went off. Luke reached for the bedside table just as Bella sat up, yawning, and grabbed her phone.
“Sorry, that’s mine.” She shut off the alarm and turned to Luke, smiling. “Hey.”
“Hi. Did you sleep well?”
“Hmm.” Bella stretched and slid out of bed. “I’d better go take a shower.”
“Me too.” Luke hesitated. He didn’t want this to be awkward, but he didn’t want to mislead Bella, either. “I have work in about an hour.”
“I’ll be quick.” She winked and slipped into the bathroom.
Apparently, she didn’t much mind that Luke was running out.
He heard the water turn on and lay back down, closing his eyes.
He rarely lounged in bed like this, and it was nice.
It reminded him of his old life, when he’d spent lazy Sundays relaxing instead of rushing off to work all the time.
Bella came out a few minutes later, her hair wet, wearing a towel. “Your turn.”
Luke got up, trying not to look too much at Bella in the towel. He could see the long, lean lines of her legs beneath the fabric and her bare shoulders above it. That all reminded him too clearly of how much he’d seen last night, and his resolve wavered. Maybe they could have something casual…
Then Bella turned away, picking up her jeans and bra off the floor, and Luke came back to his senses. He went into the bathroom to shower, then got dressed in the suit from the day before. At least a pair of clean scrubs would be waiting for him at the hospital.
“You know,” Luke said as he slipped his feet into his shoes, “I probably have time for a coffee.”
Don’t be an idiot, he told himself firmly.
You don’t have time for coffee. And you definitely don’t have time for this.
As much as he wanted to stretch the moments with Bella, even ask for her number or at least her last name, he knew she wouldn’t fit into his life.
It was better to let last night become a perfect memory than try to force something more.
Bella glanced at her phone and winced. “Sorry — I don’t. I have to get to work.”
“On a Sunday?”
She winked. “No rest for the wicked and all that.”
It was for the best, but Luke still felt a hint of disappointment. “I’ll walk you out, then.”
“Perfect.” Bella twisted her wet hair into a quick braid and grabbed her bag. “Ready when you are.”
They headed down the hall to the elevator and waited together. Luke was torn between feeling like he should make small talk and not wanting to undermine yesterday’s easy conversation. Bella stepped in.
“Do you have a long shift today?”
“Yeah.” Luke nodded. “Probably twelve hours.”
“That’s… long.” The elevator doors opened, and they stepped inside.
“It is, but I love my work.”
“I get that. I love mine, too — mostly. And I’m definitely going to try some of that triage stuff from your talk last night.”
“Really?” Luke glanced at her. Her hands were folded in front of her and she was facing straight ahead, but she looked back and grinned.
Her green eyes looked lighter today, and her cheeks were still slightly flushed, either from her shower or from their activities the night before. She looked lovely.
“Really. I don’t work with patients, but I bet I can still use some of your strategies. ‘Focus on the big picture, not the individual,’” she added in a deeper tone.
“Is that supposed to be me?” Luke asked, chuckling.
“It was. I sounded just like you.” She winked again. The elevator reached the bottom floor, and they got out.
“You didn’t,” Luke said. “I don’t know what you do, but you definitely aren’t an actor, because that was pretty terrible.”
“Maybe that’s my acting strategy,” Bella suggested. Luke snorted, and they stood, just looking at each other, until a pair of clearly hungover doctors brushed past them and broke the moment.
“Right, well, I’d better go,” Luke said. “I’m parked out front.”
“I’m in the back.” Bella hooked one thumb towards the hotel’s rear entrance.
“See you around, then.” With one more smile, Bella turned to go — and Luke instinctively reached out, grabbing her hand.
She spun back towards him, and he kissed her, just once, on the lips.
It wasn’t anything like the passionate, all-consuming kisses they’d shared the night before — it was sweeter, more tender.
If Luke hadn’t known better, he’d have thought it was the kind of kiss that spoke of a shared future.
He did know better, though.
“Wow.” Bella looked down. “I like this way of saying goodbye.”
“Same here. See you around, Bella.”
“Bye.” She waved and turned away again. This time, Luke didn’t stop her, but he did watch her for a moment as she threaded her way around the people in the lobby. Then he checked out at the desk and headed to his car.
As he drove towards the hospital, the windows rolled down to take in the fresh October morning — and hopefully bring him back to his senses — he found it was difficult to get Bella out of his mind.
It wasn’t just the night with her, either, although that had been one of the best of his life.
It was their conversation, the way she’d made him think in a new way.
And it was what she’d said this morning, about using his triage techniques.
The night before, he’d thought that if even one person listened, his talk would have been worth it — and the universe had sent him Bella.
The talk had definitely been worth it.
When Luke pulled into the hospital lot, he let out his breath. Once he was at work, it would be easy to put Bella out of his mind. All his memories of her laugh, and her kisses, and her teasing would fade away into the rhythm of saving lives.
He crossed the parking lot and headed to the attendings’ lounge, where he grabbed a pair of scrubs from the fresh laundry and put them on, leaving his suit in his locker.
It felt good to return to who he really was.
More and more, last night was starting to feel like a beautiful dream rather than reality.
He exchanged his loafers for tennis shoes, grabbed his ID badge, and headed straight to the ER. Since it was Sunday, Marco wouldn’t be in the hospital, which made Luke smile. He’d have nothing to distract him from his work today.
Down in the ER, he was promptly swept into the chaos when an eight-year-old girl with a broken arm from gymnastics was brought in just as he arrived. He followed the stretcher into one of the triage rooms and smiled down at the tearful child.
“Hey there,” he said, grabbing the overhead x-ray machine and pulling it over to get a look at the break. “What’s your name?”
“Ella,” the little girl said. Luke blinked. For a moment, he’d thought she’d said Bella.
“All right, Ella,” he said. “I’ll just take a picture of your arm, and then we can get started on making you feel better, okay?”
“Okay,” Ella said tearfully.
Just as Luke was examining the images, a blonde woman who looked a lot like the child burst into the room.
“Ella?” She ran to the child’s side, then looked up at Luke. “Is she okay?”
“She’ll be just fine — she shouldn’t even need surgery,” Luke explained. “I’ll just get her set up with our orthopedic doctor.”
He looked up at the woman and blinked again. She looked completely different from Bella — she had blonde hair instead of brown, and brown eyes instead of green — but Luke still thought she was Bella for a fraction of a second. He shook his head to clear it and grabbed the phone to call orthopedics.
When Ella and her mother went upstairs, Luke scanned the rest of the ER, talking to residents and figuring out who needed help.
As he did, he smiled to himself. He knew better than most that the human brain worked in mysterious ways, but he was amused at how his brain worked.
Apparently, he wasn’t ready to let go of Bella just yet, because everything was reminding him of her.
That would fade soon, though, Luke was sure of it. He was back at work. Soon, Bella would be completely gone from his mind, and he’d be back to his usual self.
“Let me help with that.” He stopped by the bed of an elderly man, where a young intern was trying to put in an IV catheter. “Your technique is good, but adjust the angle just a little… There we go.”
“Thanks, Doctor Porter,” the intern said.
“Anytime. Call me when you’re doing the next one, and I’ll have a look.”
See? Luke thought to himself as he hurried to the next patient. I’m focusing on work. I’m not thinking about Bella. After all, neither the elderly man nor the young intern had reminded him of Bella at all.