Chapter 8 Bella #2
Then she was laughing, a hand pressed to her heart.
She could barely believe it. She and Luke had spent one night together, one single, wonderful night, and somehow, she was expecting a baby.
Bella should have been upset — a baby with a man she didn’t really know would complicate her life in thousands of ways.
Not least of all, becoming a mother would jeopardize the business she’d poured her heart and soul into for years. And she’d have to face Luke again.
Yet Bella wasn’t upset. She was happy. She could already picture holding a tiny baby in her arms, rocking him back and forth as his eyelids drifted closed, and smelling his baby-powder scent.
She could imagine holding her toddler’s hand as she learned to walk, her tiny feet encased in pink tennis shoes as she beamed up at Bella.
She could imagine dropping her kindergartener off on his first day of school, and moving her college student into her dorm.
She was going to be a mother. Another laugh escaped her lips, and she dropped her hand to her stomach. There was no real sign of her pregnancy yet, but there would be, soon. Soon, there would be a baby.
After a moment, though, the elation Bella felt at the thought of becoming a mother was eclipsed by her worry.
She would be a mother — and Luke would be a father.
Surely he wouldn’t be as happy about that fact as Bella was, if she was even able to track him down to tell him.
He was a surgeon, she knew that, and he probably had a very busy career — and no interest in raising a baby with a practical stranger.
Bella bit her lip. For the last month, she’d managed to hold herself back from looking Luke up, but now it was time.
She went into the living room and grabbed her laptop, sinking onto her narrow sofa and tucking her legs beneath her.
She wished Stacy were still here to help her decide what to do — but it was for the best that Bella was alone.
She could have called Stacy back, but she didn’t.
Bella looked up the name of the conference, plus “Luke,” plus “trauma surgeon.” The very first result was the profile of a doctor at the local Willamette Hospital, which was on the other side of the river.
She clicked on the link, and a picture of Luke smiled at her from the computer.
In the picture, he was dressed in dark blue scrubs and a white lab coat.
He was smiling, just a little, and his gray eyes flashed with amusement.
He had that same strong jawline Bella had been unable to take her eyes off, and seeing his face now brought memories flooding back.
She didn’t let herself fall into her memories, though.
Doctor Luke Porter, the description read, heads the ER at Willamette Hospital.
A graduate of the Mayo Clinic’s residency program, Porter specializes in emergency surgeries.
As well as his work in the hospital, Porter has published three research papers on triage in mass-casualty events, two of which have gained wide recognition.
Bella read on, her mouth falling open slightly. She’d known that Luke was experienced and good at what he did, but this went beyond what she’d expected. The man must work practically every waking moment to do everything he did.
Biting her lip, Bella typed “Luke Porter” into the search engine again.
The Willamette Hospital description was the first result, but the next several were about his research papers, his summa cum laude graduation from Harvard, and his pro bono work teaching trauma surgeons from developing countries.
Finally, she found a social media profile and clicked on it — and there it was.
His phone number, right there on the screen.
All she had to do was pick up her phone and call him.
She didn’t. Instead, Bella closed the laptop.
She couldn’t call this man. Luke was successful, independent, and way out of her league.
More importantly, there was a reason he hadn’t told her exactly who he was or given her his number — he hadn’t wanted more than a one-night stand.
And a baby was a whole lot more than a one-night stand.
If she told him, he’d probably feel like he had to give her money or be part of the baby’s life, even if he didn’t want to.
Bella couldn’t stand the thought of putting him in that position.
She didn’t like help anyway, but she wouldn’t be able to bear it if Luke felt forced to help her.
Worse, he might just say that their night together hadn’t meant anything and that he didn’t want to see her or their child.
In her memories, they’d had an amazing, world-shaking connection — but it had really only been one night. She was probably imagining a lot of it.
It felt wrong to keep the news of the baby from Luke, but it would feel worse to tell him the truth.
Bella stood and went to the kitchen to fix herself a cup of herbal tea.
As she moved through the kitchen, grabbing the honey and the kettle and her mug with practiced efficiency, she became more and more certain of her decision.
She wouldn’t tell Luke about the baby. Instead, she would become a mother the same way she’d started her catering business and found her clients, moved into her apartment, and gone through college — alone.
“It’s okay,” Bella said aloud. She glanced down at her stomach, which was still as flat as always, and paused in the middle of the kitchen, the honey jar in one hand. The other she rested on her stomach. “I can do this. We can do this. I promise, I’ll be enough for you, okay?”
She paused, then laughed. “And being ‘enough’ probably starts with not talking to myself, huh?”
With that, she went back to making her tea.
This was a huge, unexpected change — but Bella was excited.
She’d have to put in a lot of work over the next few months to make sure The Cherry on Top didn’t fall apart.
She’d have to read a lot of parenting books and buy a lot of equipment and think of a good baby name.
But she could do it, all of it, on her own, just like she always did.
She had to.
And Luke, the baby’s father, a man she still couldn’t keep out of her mind, would never need to know about it.