The Dominator : a dark mafia romance

Chapter 13

I was alone when I woke up. There was a text on the iPhone.

Gone out for a bit to take care of some things. I’ll meet you at Pop’s for dinner. Jimmy will pick you up and drive you. Be ready @5. Say nothing about what we discussed last night to anyone.

Well duh.

I wrote back:

Okay. 3 You. Xoxo

Pop’s for Sunday dinner? Oh boy. I couldn’t believe he wasn’t getting us out of it with what was going on.

I stayed busy getting things done around the house. Sarah would be back either tonight or tomorrow and I didn’t want her to have to come back to dusting, vacuuming, and laundry.

Nino was on the grounds with the blond guy, Dex. I looked at the big biker-looking Nino and wondered about this cousin of mine, his wife. I wondered if they had kids. I wondered if I had other family. I wondered if they all knew about me or not. I pondered the things my father had said, about how losing my mom hurt our connection. I knew it did. He was so broken after her. And did he blame me? Maybe he did.

He was always so fascinated with the mafia, though. Surely that was odd under the circumstances. And he was still trying to get a job with Tommy. Clearly, he wasn’t against the idea of living in that ‘life’. It was perplexing. He sold me out instead of trying to protect me. He was saving his own ass. And now he was trying to profit from my misery. Well, I guess it wasn’t misery anymore, but it had been and he didn’t know if I was happy or if I was in my own personal hell and yet he was trying to get a job with Tommy.

I baked a glazed lemon Bundt cake to bring to dinner and had it ready when James knocked on the front door. No one had been wandering around inside the house since we’d been back from Vegas and I knew they used the staff quarters but the hall door off the kitchen was left locked. Tommy had said they had keys for emergencies but had been instructed to give us our privacy. Earlier that day I’d gotten James to get me the ingredients at the store per Tommy’s instructions if I needed anything.

He carried the cake to the car and drove me the short drive to Tom and Lisa’s. I was thankful that it was a short drive because our awkward efforts at small talk didn’t have to last too long.

I plastered a smile on my face as I went inside because the first person I laid eyes on was Tommy’s father. He was standing in the doorway ready to greet us.

“What’s this?” He smiled at me but his smile twitched almost nervously as he eyed the cake in my hands.

“Lemon Bundt cake,” I said with a sweet smile.

His expression dropped. This was my mother’s cake. Clearly by his reaction he’d had it before. It was the only thing she cooked that didn’t make the person eating it look for the nearest dog or potted plant (some dogs had even looked for potted plants!) and she’d made it for every occasion. It was a just a store-bought lemon cake mix with lemon Jell-O added into the box recipe. Then it was glazed with icing sugar mixed with lemon juice.

“You don’t like lemon cake?” I asked innocently, a mask firmly in place.

He appeared thrown for a split second and then seemed to recover. “Can’t wait to try it. Sounds great. Take it to the kitchen; girls are in there.” He kissed my cheek as I passed him.

The girls were in fine form, laughing, talkative. Luc was the size of a ranch style bungalow and eating cheese as Tessa shredded it on top of garlic bread. Lisa was chopping cucumbers.

“How can I help?” I asked as I stepped in.

They all looked genuinely pleased to see me and bombarded me with questions about Vegas, about where we’d been hiding out, and asking about planning the wedding.

I helped Lisa with the salad and then helped Tessa set the table. We (except Luc) drank a bottle and a half of wine together before Tommy and Dario arrived, which I was thinking was a good idea since I was in need of some liquid courage being around Tommy’s father. The men sat in the family room with all four kids. There was a debate over what they’d all watch. Disney movie or some rugby game.

Luc’s girls were adorable, Katrina and Serena (Luc joked that when she wanted them to come, she’d just holler “Rina!”) and they were dressed exactly the same in little white with red polka dot sundresses with their dark curly ringlets up in pigtails. They sat on the floor playing with the boys’ toy cars.

Tessa’s boys, Antonio and Lucas, sat on James’ lap like angels. Finally, Tom settled the “big kids” down by putting the Disney video on the big screen and giving the dads a tablet to watch together for their game.

Tommy and Dario turned up together, just as the food was being put out. Tommy swept me into his arms and gave me a very amorous hello with an old Hollywood style dip and a long kiss in front of his whole family. They all looked a bit surprised, so I guessed they hadn’t seen this type of behavior from him before. Truthfully, I was surprised, too. Last night he didn’t want to even touch me as we went to sleep.

He was sweet, attentive, and affectionate with me during the meal, which felt light and happy. Tommy didn’t seem at all awkward with his father. I felt awkward, but tried to push it away.

When dessert was served, Tessa, Lisa, and Luc’s hubby Eddy were all going on and on about my cake. When Tommy’s father was served a piece, he stared at it for a long time before taking a bite. I tried not to look at him while he tasted it. I tried, but I couldn’t help it. His eyes, as he chewed, went far away for a second. Then he caught me looking and our eyes locked . I think he knew. I think he knew right then and there that I’d made that cake knowing something about their past. I saw something dark and sinister pass over his expression, and I knew I had to switch gears pretty darn quick to make sure I didn’t give myself away.

“Do you like it?” I asked, giving him a big smile.

He licked his lips. “It’s very good.” He said this softly, assessing me, trying to see through my act. I wasn’t about to let him; I couldn’t mess this up. I nonchalantly leaned over and put a forkful up to Tommy’s mouth. Tommy had been talking to Eddy across the table about a restaurant Eddy managed for the family. He stopped mid-sentence and made eye contact with me and then accepted the bite. I kissed him on the mouth and totally ignored his father. My heart hammered in my chest; I prayed he bought it. I didn’t look back at him for a good minute, just fixed my eyes on Tommy’s eyes and Tommy seemed to totally get that I needed to keep eyes locked with him for as long as possible. When I did glance back in Tom’s direction, he was talking to Lisa animatedly with his hands and paying no attention to me.

I settled down and Tommy must’ve read me. His lips brushed mine and then he whispered in my ear, “What is it?”

I whispered, “Can we go soon? I can’t get into it now but I’m having trouble keeping it together.”

“We’ll finish the coffee and then I’ll get us out of here,” he whispered back. “That okay?” I nodded. He kissed me on the lips again and pulled me closer.

“Fuck, you two; get a room!” That was Luc.

“Oh, jealous bitch,” Tessa told her, then explained, “She’s got Placenta Praevia so orders of no sex from her doc. She’s getting a bit bitchy.”

Eddy started to laugh. “Yeah, and she’s like a big horny cat in heat walking around clawing at everyone who’s getting any. The only thing I can do to calm her down is keep feeding her.”

Everyone started to laugh, including Luciana, and then Luc swatted her husband. “Watch out or this cat’ll act like a praying mantis and gnaw your head off after the next time you get lucky, especially if this isn’t a boy!”

“Notice she said ‘after’ the next time I get lucky? Hey, at least she wants it one more time before she whacks me,” Eddy laughed some more and that got the room roaring with laugher.

A few minutes later, Tommy looked at his phone and then put his napkin on the table and took my hand, pulling us up to stand. “Sorry kids, but something’s come up. We gotta fly.”

“Oh, I wanted to help clean up,” I said innocently. Tommy winked at me. “Sorry, baby girl. Duty calls.”

Lisa waved her hand. “Don’t even worry. It’s covered. You were a great help setting up. But when can we talk about your wedding?”

“We’re postponing it a bit,” Tommy said nonchalantly, swiping his phone as he pulled me along. “Plenty of time for that.”

He made his way around the table, kissing all the girls on their cheeks and shaking hands with back slaps or fist bumping with each of the guys.

I tried not to show my surprise. Everyone else seemed surprised, too, especially Tommy’s father.

“Thank you guys so much for dinner and the great company,” I said cheerily.

One by one I got kisses and hugs as we made our way out of there. Tommy’s father whispered to Tommy for a second before letting go of him. Tommy seemed like he was trying to wave whatever the discussion was off as if it was no big deal. I accepted an awkward hug from him and then when Tommy grabbed my hand, I was happy to be getting out of there.

When we got in his car, I tried to explain the Bundt cake snafu. Tommy was a little pissed, told me I had to be careful not to tip our hand while he figured things out, but seemed like he understood.

“Why are we postponing the wedding?” I asked.

He smiled at me. “I’d have thought you’d be relieved at that.”

“What do you mean?”

“Tia, you’ve made no secret of the fact you thought we were moving too fast. I don’t want that all in the midst of everything I’m trying to sort out. We’ll figure that out after. When I get married, I want to be focused a hundred per cent on my bride and nothing else.”

I don’t know if my heart sank or soared right there. It sounded sweet, but maybe he was having second thoughts about us amid everything he was figuring out. It sounded silly of me because of all the worries I had, but the idea he might be unsure about us was unsettling.

“And for you. I want our wedding day to be the happiest day of your life,” he added softly.

His expression said it all. I got a little choked up. I looked at him with tears in my eyes. He squeezed my hand and then kissed each knuckle. Soaring. My heart was definitely soaring.

“Have you found out anything else?” I asked after recovering.

He shook his head. “No. But I think we should talk to your father. Get more info. Have him over. How do you feel about that?”

I didn’t know. I finally shrugged.

“We’ll talk more later,” he finally said as we were pulling up to the front gate. “When we get inside, I have to make a quick phone call. When I’m done, I’m coming up and we’re going to play. In the mood to play?”

I was surprised. I smiled at him. “Play what?”

He smiled wickedly at me as we got on the other side of the gates. “Play cock slave?” He brought my hand to his mouth again and took my index finger in between his teeth, raising an eyebrow.

I smirked. “Hmmm. You missed out on that offer, Sir. How about ping pong?”

“Uh uh.” He let go of my hand and reversed into the garage.

“Monopoly?”

“Nope.” He put it in park.

“Strip poker?”

“Hm. By George, I think you’ve got something there.”

As we got out, I was laughing.

“I have a deck of cards in the game room downstairs. You get down there and shuffle them and wait for me,” he said and then he unlocked the front door. “Be prepared to lose the shirt off your back.” He winked.

When we got inside, he went to his office and I headed down to the basement. The games room was awesome and I’d been spending considerable time down there the last few days. Ping pong and pool tables, big home theatre, foosball, the arcade games (I still hadn’t beat Dario’s Ms. Pacman high score, but I was close). The poker table had a storage drawer underneath it and it contained several brand-new decks of cards.

I set them on the felt had a thought, so ran upstairs to the bedroom and stripped out of my yellow sun dress Tommy had bought when we were at the farm. I put on a sexy pair of black underwear with matching bra and a pair of black stay-up fishnet stockings. Then I layered on a t-shirt, a hoodie, a vest, a pair of tights, track pants, and then a pair of his jeans (mine wouldn’t fit over all those layers. I had to roll his up at the bottom about half a dozen times as they were just way too long). Then I put on two pairs of socks and booted it back downstairs.

He was sitting on the poker table with no shirt on, looking sexy with his muscled arms folded across his chest. He stared at me, “Wondered where you got to.” His face lit up with humor. “Hitting the ski slopes?”

“I’m just not sure how good you are at poker. I thought I might need an advantage.”

The fact that he was already half undressed either spoke to him giving me an advantage or to him being anxious for the payout.

He wiggled his eyebrows at me and then took the deck of cards out of the box and did this fancy card shuffling in mid-air thing. Yikes. He laughed at my horror-stricken face.

Not long later, he had only taken off one sock and I was down to the bra, panties, and stockings. My gigantic heap of clothing was on the floor between us and he was very pleased at the surprise lingerie under all those layers.

“Fuck, you’re sexy,” he told me as he lifted me up and my stocking-clad legs wrapped around his waist.

“We never got our Neapolitan last night,” he advised as he carried me up the basement stairs and into the kitchen. I held on tight, tonguing his earlobe until he put me on the kitchen counter and then opened the freezer. Sure enough there was a carton of Neapolitan ice cream.

“Hey, lookie lookie,” he said.

He opened a drawer and got a spoon and spooned a bit of vanilla up and got between my legs and put it in my mouth.

“Mm,” I said. “Not a thing wrong with vanilla.”

I hadn’t seen that there earlier. When had he gone to the store?

“Nothing at all,” he replied and licked the empty spoon. Then he dipped his tongue into my mouth and added an “Mm” before dipping the spoon back into the carton.

“Tonight, I feel like some chocolate, though.” He scooped up a big scoop of chocolate and put it in his mouth, then his lips were on mine and he shared what was in his mouth with me.

It was so sexy, so intimate. I wrapped my legs tighter around his waist and threaded my fingers into his hair.

“I see what type of ice cream to get next time I go shopping,” came a familiar female voice.

Oh shit!

Sarah was in the doorway between the kitchen and the back hallway with her suitcase, eyeing us. I was on the kitchen counter in underwear and a bra with my stocking-clad legs wrapped around his waist, bra straps hanging down off my shoulders and him in just a pair of jeans that were halfway undone plus him wearing just one sock. Yikes!

“Goodnight,” she chuckled.

I couldn’t look her in the eyes, but her smile could’ve lit up the neighborhood.

“Goodnight, Sarah,” Tommy re-shut the hallway pocket door and locked it, effectively blocking the staff quarters from the kitchen.

“Ohmigod!” I was mortified.

Tommy dropped the spoon on the counter and plunked the ice cream back into the freezer and then picked me back up, legs wrapped around him like before, and he kissed between my breasts over and over as he carried me up the stairs. It was as if we hadn’t just gotten caught almost doing it on the kitchen counter.

When we were back in the bedroom, he turned off all the lights but one dim lamp, then he laid me on the bed on my back and lavished my breasts with affection as I pushed his jeans the rest of the way off with my feet. My panties weren’t coming off; they were shoved to the side instead and then he was inside of me.

He thrust in and out two or three times, then breathed, “You here for me, baby?”

I frantically nodded.

“You gonna give me what I need?”

I nodded some more, running my fingers through his hair and thrusting my pelvis at him,

“You my little cock slave?”

“Mm hm.” I thrust my tongue into his mouth.

“Mm. Bend over my lap.” He pulled out and sat.

I blinked for a second or two and then directed my mind to forget about Vegas. We weren’t there and there was no anger on his face. I crawled over him eagerly.

His hand began a journey up and down my ass for a moment before he hauled back and a slap rang out, sending my pelvis down, flat across his lap. He ended the slap with fingers digging in, not painfully, possessively. This didn’t feel like punishment, this was fuck-hot.

It filled me with lust, made me so wet down below I was almost seeing stars in the dim room. His fingertips slid under the lace of the panties and teased me for a few strokes before he took his hand away.

I was so into this right now. I lifted my rear end into the air and he slapped it again and murmured, “Greedy girl.”

I moaned.

Yes, I could be what he wanted; all his. I could make sure he had what he needed. I could give him me, let him have me, it’d be what he wanted and exactly what he needed. This idea had me so wet, so ready for more.

He slapped my ass again, “You like that?”

“Yes, baby,” I answered, feeling so wanton, so his.

He slapped me again and this time grabbed my ass harder. It hurt, but I let myself feel it. I gave in to it and the feeling – it was so freeing. He leaned over and bit my butt cheek, which made me squeal in both surprise and pain.

He let out a deep throaty laugh and then said, “Mm, you’re so fucking mine, you know that?”

“Yes,” I answered breathily, feeling emotional.

“Beg for it,” he whispered.

“Please, Tommy.”

“You want me to spank you?”

“Yes, please.”

Oh fuck; oh please.

“You want me to fuck you?”

“Oh, yeah, Tommy.”

“Yeah what?”

“Please, Tommy.”

He put me on the bed on my knees and then took me from behind, holding my hair in a ponytail at the nape of my neck.

“Please what?”

“Please fuck me, Tommy.”

“I’m gonna fuck you so hard.”

“Yeah, baby.”

“Tell me you’re mine.”

“I’m yours, Tommy.”

“Forever.”

“Forever, baby.”

“Tell me you love me.”

“Love you so much, Tommy.”

“Good girl.”

Goosebumps rose all over me. I melted at that.

“Say it again,” he grunted against my ear.

“It again.”

Slap.

“Ouch!” I laughed.

“Naughty girl.”

I laughed again.

“I like it when you’re a little bit naughty, you know that?”

“Mm.”

“Why do I like it when you’re naughty?” He squeezed my ass really hard.

“You get to punish me for being naughty,” I answered hoarsely.

He moaned.

“That’s right. I get to spank this sexy ass. I want to fuck this sexy ass, too.”

My throat went instantly dry. He flipped me over and kissed me hard. I kissed him hard right back. My ass cheeks were on fire, my girlie parts: practically begging for it. He gave it to me hard and fast, thankfully not in the ass (I was flipped out by that idea) and it didn’t last very long, but we both came hard.

I drifted off pretty quickly afterward, but jarred awake to him whispering to me, “Athena.”

“Mm?”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too, Tommy.” I put my palm to his cheek.

“Do you really? Or have I just fucked you up so much that you think you have to love me so you can survive me?”

I opened my mouth, but for a second but nothing came out, then, “I don’t know” spilled out as sorrow lanced through me.

I pulled her tight to me and just fucking broke.

“Thank you, baby girl. Thank you for being honest. I know I’m a fucking asshole and I’ve hurt you so bad and messed with your head. I don’t deserve you, but please hang in there with me. I’ll try. I’ll try to be what you need, try so fucking hard. Keep being honest, okay? You are everything to me, do you understand me? You’re more important than the family, the money, the power, the control, any of it. Be strong for me, baby. I need you to be strong. Don’t let me break you. Please don’t let me break you.”

She clutched me what must’ve been as tight as she could.

“I won’t. You’re worth loving, Tommy. You are worthy of real love and that’s what you are going to get from me, okay? And I’ll be everything you need, too, okay? I will love you and be yours forever. I won’t break.”

She wiped the wet from my cheeks with her fingers and put her lips to my chin.

“I’ll hold you to that,” I said, kissed her nose, and then we fell asleep locked together.

I meant it. I wanted him to know unconditional love. I think that’s what he needed.

Why did I fall in love with this man who had fucked with my head so much? It was a combination of things, maybe. Maybe it was partly because of what he’d been through that I thought my love could cure him. It must be unconditional if I was still willing to be in this at this point, right? I told myself I was strong enough, that I could endure, for him, for myself.

I think feeling unconditional love, the love a mother can give, was a missing ingredient from his childhood, maybe because his mom died so young and his father was so driven, but such a dirty dog having all those different women around and no one to really raise Tommy properly, teach him the right morals. Sure, Sarah was sweet, but obviously he lacked the maternal figure he needed. I lacked it too, in the years between Mom and Rose, but Rose had so made up for it. Susie had been amazing, too, going far beyond what I saw some of the other girls in care got.

Was I fucked up as a result of what I’d been through with him? Maybe. No, probably. But with the glimpses he’d shown me of who he was underneath what his father had made him become, I wanted him. I wanted to help him see he could be who he was meant to be. I’d been pushing away my dark thoughts, reaching for the light.

The last few honeymoonish days had helped. It felt like we were gearing up for something big. It was like it was fortifying me for what was to come because I knew how things could be. Yeah, there was dark. This was a man who didn’t hesitate to kill his enemies. This was a man who had been rough with me, too rough with me. But this was also a man who had also shown me that he loved me, that he’d keep me safe, that he’d risk his life for me. I wanted him to feel loved. I wanted my love to be what made him want to stay in the light.

If giving him justification meant I was fucked up, so be it. There were a lot of fucked up people in the world who had evolved because of what they’d been through. I wanted my happily ever after. Would I get it with Tommy? I sure hoped so.

He’d told me when he first got me here that he looked forward to breaking my spirit. Now he was begging me to never let him break it. I sure hoped I could honor that wish of his. When I woke up, he was holding me close, but he was staring at the ceiling, looking like a tortured soul.

Sadness swept through me at his facial expression. I was no stranger to coming to terms with having a fucked-up father who put his own needs before his kids. The two situations weren’t the same, but I still got it. I was still coming to terms, myself, with what I’d heard on that recording, admission that my dad’s relationship with me was broken because of my mother’s death, and his selfish requests. Things were already screwed with the father- daughter thing so he’d might as well get his lifelong dream of being a wise guy out of it.

When I’d seen Tom Sr. yesterday a part of me wanted to spit in his face, to demand answers. But another part of me just felt numb. I had been forced to face and feel so much in the past several weeks. I didn’t know how to categorize my feelings. I just knew I had to put one foot in front of the other and move forward somehow. At least I had Tommy with me. He’d help me, he’d protect me. And I’d help him and I’d give him what he needed at the end of every hard day ahead of him.

“I’m calling Greg today. I have more questions for him,” he said without looking at me, aware I was awake and watching him.

I snuggled into his side and put my lips to his shoulder and started to trace the outlines of his tattoo with my fingertip.

“I’ll have him here this afternoon. You can decide if you want to talk to him or leave him to me.”

“Kay,” I said, not sure which option I’d choose.

Tommy kissed me on the mouth and then kissed between my breasts, then my navel, then gave me a devilish grin on the way down farther. Sex was a good distractor from our problems. A very good distractor.

I had evidence corroborating Earl’s story. Regardless of why he did what he did, he took her from me and that was unforgivable. His son Michael had stumbled upon the meth situation because Michael was using and selling and spotted Pop leaving the house of his dealer’s dealer.

Earl was dead and gone; I’d shot him after I’d tracked him down, after he told me why. He knew he was a goner when he saw me. He told me that he had a feeling when she was given back to me that I’d be coming for him. He told me he didn’t think, at first, I’d get involved. Never thought I was the type to be a girl’s hero. My father didn’t get involved in these sorts of things since Tia was just a pawn and Earl had known about her father and my Pop’s quest to ruin the man’s life. While he didn’t think I’d come for her, he hoped my Pop might get lured down here due to his connection to Tia’s mother and he’d get his chance for revenge. He told me it wasn’t personal with him and I. Obvious to me or I’d have been dead when he shot near me instead of at me. Didn’t matter. It was him who took her and he had to pay.

I never figured Pop would get heavily into the drug game. Yeah, he’d said he profited from cocaine here and there back in the 70s and 80s, but didn’t bother nowadays beyond weed, which we made good money from, and which I didn’t classify as any worse than alcohol. It was now obvious he’d been keeping it from me.

My PI showed proof that he was moving about two million every few weeks through a few guys locally and with that, who knew what else he was into? He’d financed the start-up of a lab and was making a good chunk of change off it. But my PI also talked to Michael’s girlfriend, who admitted she had told Earl after Michael died about the meth and that Michael had been worried about seeing Tom Ferrano leave his dealer’s dealer’s house. Earl had done some investigating of his own and put the pieces together. The girlfriend died of an overdose a few days after my PI talked to her though my PI Zack said she didn’t seem like a drug user.

My father was set up for retirement. He was set up to leaving all his kids enough money to live comfortably, (although Dare and I had already set ourselves up and didn’t need Pop’s dough) as well as leaving money to set his young wife up for life. He had thriving businesses that were run by his people and that continually brought profit. So why was he in the meth game? It was ego, power, it was all so important to Pop. If there was a business where money could be made, he wanted in, wanted to be seen as a master of all trades.

It made me wonder how on earth he’d retire to the Cayman Islands with Lisa. If he was still in the day-to-day shit of this life when me and Dare practically ran Ferrano Enterprises and the subsidiaries for him, would he really let go for retirement? Or had I gone through all these motions for nothing? It made no sense; he was practically shoving me down the aisle so he could hand me the reins, but why was he dabbling in new business, shadier-than-fuck business, at the same time? Did he have Michael’s girlfriend killed because Zack was hot on his heels?

Signs pointed to evidence that Tia’s Uncle Joe’s death wasn’t an accident. It was brake failure on his car during a snowstorm and he’d been out on this crazy winding stretch of road that was known for being a bad accident area. He was out on an errand for Pop during that storm. Pop gained a fuck of a lot from Joe’s death.

Wife number three, Stacia: she crashed into a tree and died of head injuries. Her airbag didn’t go off. They found drugs in her system and figured she fell asleep at the wheel. But she wasn’t a known drug user. What she was, was a shrew. She was always getting up in Pop’s grill about shit. She was a former model, she was gorgeous, high maintenance. Did Pop get sick of her?

He married Lisa, friends with the girls, just months after Stacia died. Lisa was just as beautiful as Stacia but without the high maintenance. And Lisa got along great with the girls. Stacia and my sisters hated one another, so Pop wasn’t getting his Sunday dinners with his family around him with Stacia. That tradition was back after he married Lisa.

Maybe I’d talk to Annette, mother to Dare and the girls. She was all right to me growing up. I wouldn’t say she treated me like a son, she always seemed a little afraid of me, she never disciplined me; wasn’t affectionate. But she was real affectionate with her own kids. Maybe I needed to get information from her to help put some of the puzzle pieces together.

I hadn’t talked to Dare yet. I didn’t know how he’d take all of this. I knew he’d believe me, I mean the evidence was right in front of us, but spilling my guts would hurt my brother. Laying out the sort of man our father might really be, the man behind the mask, it wouldn’t be a fun conversation. Did I want him to feel what I felt right now? I guess I had to; it was the only way forward.

As for Lita O’Connor: I didn’t know if she’d offed herself or if Pop had something to do with it. Had it been a car accident, I wouldn’t have had a doubt in my mind. But slit wrists in the tub? I found out her tox screen came up clear, so it wasn’t likely Pop could’ve drugged her and then slit her wrists. There was nothing on the coroner’s report that pointed to a struggle.

I’d have a discussion with O’Connor today and then I’d go from there. I didn’t know if he could tell me any more than I already knew, but I also wanted Tia to have an opportunity to put things to rest, too.

When I got downstairs that morning, Sarah was in the kitchen.

“Good morning Chiquita!”

She poured me a coffee and then I watched her put one and a half spoons of sugars in it. That was pretty bold, considering I hadn’t seen her in more than a week and had been putting my three sugars in consistently. I accepted the cup, tasted it, then leaned over and fetched the sugar. She smirked at me.

“Tell me about your trip!” I said and sat down, trying not to blush too hard about what she’d walked in on last night.

I spent the next hour listening to her tell me about her relatives, about her holiday. She asked me about our trip. I told her about the Blue Man Group, I told her I won five grand on the slot machines, and then she asked me why our wedding had been postponed.

“Tommy’s busy. We’re just going to wait until things are less crazy,” I said.

“So, you’re happy with him? You see what a good man he can be?” she asked.

“I am. And I do.” I answered.

Tommy was strolling into the kitchen at that point. He stopped and gave me a narrow-eyed look. I smiled hesitantly.

“How was the trip, Sarah?” he asked her and flashed me a dirty look.

My heart sank. She seemed oblivious to his mood and his features softened as she began to regale him with tales of the trip for the next few minutes while he stood leaning against the counter. Clearly, he knew some of the people she mentioned as she didn’t offer explanations of who they were like she’d done with me.

Since I’d heard all these stories I excused myself and went back upstairs with my coffee and left them in the kitchen.

Ten minutes later he came into the bedroom, looking miffed.

“Rule number two?” he said accusingly.

“Huh?”

He closed the distance between us and I backed up until my back hit the closet door. I didn’t like the intimidating vibe coming off him.

“Rule number two: do not discuss me with anyone. You give her even a little she’ll keep at you for more.”

I shook my head. “I didn’t. And are we still seriously about that?”

“That’s not what it looked like when I found you and Sarah in the kitchen and yeah, when did I say the rules no longer applied?”

Seriously?

I shook my head, “All she said was –”

“I heard her. I’m just reminding you.”

“I didn’t forget,” I said softly.

“Good.”

“Where’s your necklace?” I asked softly, seeing it wasn’t around his neck.

He rolled his eyes. “I took it off last time I worked out. This has nothing to do with the fucking necklace,” he snapped.

“Doesn’t it?” I asked.

He got even closer to me. “I don’t want you discussing me with anyone.”

“I wasn’t,” I defended, feeling intimidated by his body language.

“If I hadn’t come in when I had, what would you have said?”

“Nothing more than what I said. She obviously saw us in the kitchen last night practically doing it on the counter and she was fishing to hear good things. She knows how I felt before and she’s obviously just noticing the change. I wouldn’t have –”

He cut me off, “I’m very private.”

“She’s just happy for you, Tommy.”

“I don’t want you discussing me with anyone.”

“I won’t.” My heart sank. “You didn’t mind what I said to Ruby.”

His expression softened and he touched my face with his fingertips.

“I did nothing wrong.”

“Your father will be here in half an hour. Are you coming to talk to him?” He changed the subject but kept caressing my face, his eyes warm and filled with apology.

I nodded. “I don’t know what I’ll say. Maybe I’ll just see what he has to say. Can you put your err…necklace on, please?”

Tommy pulled me close. “I love you,” he whispered into my hair.

I squeezed. “I love you, too.”

He moaned deep in his throat and held me for a minute. “I could say that a thousand times a day to you just to hear you say it back.”

My heart swelled. “I’ll say it back every time.”

He gave me another squeeze. “I’ll come get you when I’m done talking to him. Don’t give him any information, okay? About anything. And Tia, I’ve checked and he’s spending about half his paycheck every week on drugs. His girlfriend, she’s a kindergarten teacher and she likes to get high, too. Since being with him she’s now got a lien on her car, which he drives, her credit cards are racked up with cash advances, and she’s on probation at work for missing too much time. I’m not sure how much we can trust what comes out of his mouth and this might be pointless, but I at least want to hear from him, okay? And I want you to hear from him, so you can get your answers.”

Drugs. Great.

I nodded.

He went to the dresser and put his necklace on. I followed him downstairs and as he headed to his office, I headed to the games room in the basement to play Ms. Pacman to pass the time waiting for Tommy to come get me.

Hearing love in her voice and hearing her say those three words after having her I hate you etched in my brain… it did something to me. It gave me strength. I’d need that strength in the coming weeks as I kept digging through the shit about Pop; that was for sure.

Nino escorted O’Connor in. He sat down, mouth twitching nervously. I hadn’t told him in advance of the meeting, just sent Nino to get him from his job. He looked freaked out. Rightly so.

“O’Connor.”

“How are ya, Tommy? Good to see ya. How’s my sweetpea?”

I gave him a sour look. That he would call her “My” anything made me sick.

“Not thrilled that you’re here; I’ll say that. Drink?” I poured myself a whiskey.

“Yeah, please. Thanks.” He shifted around in the chair. He reminded me a little of Denis Leary.

He was clearly nervous. Or he was tweaking from withdrawals.

“I wanted to ask you some questions about the death of Tia’s mother.”

He accepted the whiskey and drank it with shaky hands. “Yeah. It’s still raw. Hard to believe sometimes that she’s really gone. Mind if I smoke?”

“Yeah, I do mind, actually. Tell me about that day. Tell me about before you left her at home and about when you got back that day. Be truthful. I’ll check out your story. Don’t lie to me.”

“I don’t come across well in this story, unfortunately,” he said, putting his cigarette package back into his pocket with a sigh.

I lifted my chin, urging him to talk.

“Lita and I weren’t getting along. She left me after a fight about my gambling and my partying. She saw me flirting at a bar when she’d come to try to drag me home. So she left, but turned back up a few days later and wouldn’t say why, wouldn’t say if she was giving me a chance; she was just sorta empty-eyed. She was going through the motions, y’know, cleaning the apartment, getting Tia to and from school, but she wasn’t herself. The day she died she told me Tia had this school trip and I’d have to pick her up late from school since the bus’d be back after dark. I was running late. I’d been at the track all afternoon. I was in a bad way, you see, I knew my marriage was on the rocks, money was shit, your father kept getting me fired from jobs. I’d get a job and then I’d get canned for no reason. I figured it had to be him; he was out to ruin me. He’d said as much. So I was at the track with my last twenty bucks, not knowing how we were gonna pay the rent ‘cuz Lita had quit her waitressing job when she’d left me and they’d hired someone else so when she got back she couldn’t get it back. I won $1800. I was stoked. Then I remembered I had to pick up Tia from the school. Didn’t know why Lita wanted me to do it, though. No reason why she couldn’t do it, so I called home and she didn’t answer. I swung by the apartment with flowers for her, ready to give them to her in the hopes she’d perk up before going to pick up my daughter and when I got home, I didn’t think she was there but then found her in the tub, a tub filled with her blood.” He choked up, covered his mouth, reached into his wallet and pulled out a small wallet-sized photograph and handed it to me.

I’d seen Lita’s picture, the picture Tia’d given me of her and Pop and like that, this was like looking at Athena but with darker features, skin more olive, darker eyes, same but darker hair. Same mouth, same bone structure. I felt bile rise in my throat imagining my girl dead in a tub, how that must’ve felt to him, even if he was a shitty father and a shitty husband. I passed the photo back.

“At first I thought it was suicide. She was so depressed. And then your father hinted it had something to do with him. Tommy, if I weren’t such a mess at that point, I might’ve tried to kill him. But I was already beaten down. And he was untouchable. He spent years destroying my life bit by bit and by the time I lost my wife, I was a shell of a man. I think he pushed drugs in my direction. I was getting offered free blow at those card games when no one else was, getting offered blow for cheap, too; I couldn’t afford it, but my guy was selling it to me for dirt cheap and he ran for one of your father’s guys. Tom wanted Lita and she wouldn’t leave me so he destroyed me in her eyes. I think she didn’t leave me out of principle, not because she loved her life with me. I know there’s more, more she wouldn’t tell me. But I dunno… I think he stalked her and taunted her and she dug her heels in until she couldn’t take it any more or until he ended her life somehow.” He shook his head.

“So why do you want to work for me?” I changed the subject, feeling a chill. The stuff he said was just my pop’s style. If he couldn’t have what he wanted, he’d make it so no one else had it either. That didn’t mean he killed Tia’s mother, but the stuff O’Connor was describing, I’d seen my father destroy men this way, twice already in my life.

Fuck, I’d seen my brother do it, too, for revenge against the bastard his ex fucked around with. Maybe it was another family trait.

He straightened up. “I know the business, I know how things work, I wanted to work for your father years ago, tried to call a truce, but he wouldn’t have it. I hear you’re taking over and I thought maybe I could get close to my daughter, work for you, help you…” He trailed off, shrugging.

Tia said he’d always had a mafia fascination. If my pop was such a bad fucking guy who’d ruined his life why on earth would he want anything to do with my family?

“Why didn’t you take your daughter and run, get away from my father? Why the fuck did you leave her right under his nose?”

He winced and then shrugged and then started talking fast, too fast. “I didn’t think I’d get away. He stopped bothering me, too. I just hoped that he’d moved on. She didn’t live with me anymore. I let her stay in foster care for her protection, hoping she’d be off Tom’s radar. For all these years he left me alone. But then about three- four months ago, I saw him at a poker game, but a small-time game, like he showed up ‘cuz he tracked me down and he gave me this look and he winked, and I knew I hadn’t seen the last of him. He and I talked for a minute, I tried to make him see I wasn’t a threat. Then your brother turned up out of the blue to tell me the score; that it was time to settle my debt. I kicked myself for not protecting her better, but I asked around and found out Tom was retiring and you were taking over. I heard good things about you. I’m good friends with Marco Savarro’s brother-in-law and he said Marco said good things about you. I knew Marco worked here at your house while Tia was here. I was devastated when he was killed and when I found out that those Mexicans took my daughter. Then I heard you got her back, and I knew that she was safe and it was this huge weight off my mind. The foster dad says she’s wearing your ring and she acts happy. I only ever wanted her safe.”

It didn’t make sense, what he was saying. A Swiss cheese story. And I wasn’t fucking happy about the fact that Mexico seemed to be common knowledge. Who was spreading that around?

“I may have more questions for you,” I said. “I’m gonna go get Tia.”

“Can I go somewhere and smoke, Tommy? This shit has been stressful,” he said. “I need some nicotine before I face my baby girl.”

My jaw clenched at him calling her that.

“Nino’ll take you out back.”

“Are you sure you want to see him? I think he’s tweaking from withdrawals or something.”

We were walking upstairs from the basement together.

“I’m sure. What did he say, though?”

“I’ll fill you in later. I’ll bring you in and then you can be alone with him?” He posed it like a question.

“Can you stay?”

“You want me to stay, I’ll stay.”

I nodded. “Wait. If I say things that don’t sound positive, about how I felt in the beginning with us…”

He shook his head, “It’s okay. I won’t be offended. But I don’t have to be there if you don’t want me to be.”

I didn’t want him to think I was hiding anything, that I had any ulterior motives, so I did want him there. He’d come into the games room, looking frustrated. I’d stood when he walked in and he waited in the doorway and opened his arms and I went right to him and he held me for a minute like he needed the hug. I wanted his support facing my father, too.

We walked into the office and there sat Dad, wearing his work clothes, a blue work jumpsuit with his name embroidered at the breast pocket. He was looking shaky. All the things I’d wanted to ask or say or scream and now here he was, looking pathetically at me with regret in his eyes. It felt so fake.

Tommy shut the door behind himself and motioned for me to sit behind his desk. Dad sat in front of his desk in one of the three chairs facing the desk. Tommy sat on top of the conference table behind him, looking casually out the window.

“Sweetpea,” Dad said to me, about to stand.

I raised my hand to halt him and sat in Tommy’s chair.

“You look good,” he said softly. “So grown up. Remind me so much of your mother.”

I was dressed up a little. I wasn’t sure why I dressed up for this occasion. I was wearing a white pencil skirt and matching bolero jacket with a pink frilly blouse and a pair of nude heels. I had my hair back in a sleek ponytail with the earrings Tommy had given me in Vegas. I was wearing a necklace that had been my mother’s. It was a dainty gold chain with a rose and gold cameo on it. Thankfully the bruise on my throat was now mostly faded and I wasn’t sure it was even noticeable, but Dad’s eyes landed on my throat. I wasn’t sure if it was still visible or if he might be staring at the chain.

His eyes trailed down from my throat to my hand and widened at the sight of my engagement ring.

“Nice rock,” he commented, and it was said almost in a prideful way, like he was taking credit.

It made me feel a little queasy.

“I want some truth from you, Dad.”

He let out a breath. “The truth is that I know I was a lousy father, but I’ve always loved you. You’ve always been the apple of my eye. Tom Ferrano set his sights on you and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it. You don’t know how it is in this world, Tia. The man had power and reach and there was nothing I could do. Your mother grew up in that world and I know she didn’t want it for you, but I just prayed you’d somehow be happy and safe. It looks like you are. I wanna be in your life. I feel like I can finally be in your life now that I’m not looking over my shoulder all the time. I tried to stay away to keep you safer. It didn’t work, and here we are, but maybe it’ll be okay. Maybe now we can move ahead, put all that behind us.”

“You left me to rot in foster homes to protect me?” I was incensed.

“Crenshaws? That big house? That was rotting?”

I didn’t like the snark in his voice, like I’d had it so easy.

“You had no way of knowing where I’d end up and I wasn’t there the whole time. Do you know the stories I’ve heard from some of the girls? Some of them that lived in group homes or who got molested or abused by other foster kids, foster dads? You had no way of knowing I’d be okay. You’d go months without checking on me. And as good as they were to me, they took me because you abandoned me. You. You abandoned your daughter after her mother died and social services paid someone else to do your job, to raise me. Everyone tells me I’m very well-adjusted considering what I’ve been through in my life but Dad, you get zero credit for that. Zero fucking credit.”

“I’ve never seen you so angry.” He looked down.

“This? This is nothing! Let’s talk about how you tricked me on my high school graduation day to be your “marker” when you knew, you fucking knew what you were really doing! You basically sold me into slavery, Dad.”

Dad winced. Tommy was still seated on the conference table, arms folded while watching me with an unreadable expression.

“I was sold like a piece of chattel,” I continued, rage propelling my words. “I was treated like a piece of property to be pawned off. And then when I escaped because it was fucking unbearable…” I glanced at Tommy, but he made no moves, his expression didn’t change. “What did you do? Did you help me? Did you? No, you called Tommy and told him where to find me. Do you know what I had endured up to that point? Do you have any idea? Do you even care?”

Dad shook his head. “I had no choice. And you were obviously safer here than down in Mexico. Imagine what might’ve happened to you if I hadn’t told him where you were? If you’d gotten nabbed before he found you, maybe escaped a bit longer he wouldn’t have wanted to rescue you from Mexico. Maybe you should’ve just did what you were told and stayed put.”

“That’s enough,” Tommy spat.

My eyes were wide, I was shocked. What kind of twisted logic?

“Listen,” Dad drawled, smiling now, trying to salvage this, his eyes darting to and fro between Tommy and me. “I did what I thought I needed to do. I always did. I just wanted you safe. I was no match for the Ferranos. I knew you’d have a good life here. Tommy is a good man; he’s taking care of you. You’re happy. I never understood why Mom wanted away from this life. I tried to work my way up, but Tom wouldn’t let me in. I thought I was a dead man, that Tom would have me taken out after your mom. But he didn’t. Then when he came for you I thought through you, I dunno, maybe I’d know we were now safe and then I’d be a part of your life. Tommy, I’m available. I’m happy to start at the bottom, I–”

“Get out,” I interrupted.

Dad looked at Tommy beseechingly and stayed perfectly still. There was silence for a beat.

Finally, Tommy notched a brow and jerked his chin up. “You heard her. Nino will walk you out.”

“Uh,” Dad got to his feet, “Can I uh… can I get a lift back home? I don’t have cab fare, I…”

“Get the fuck outta here.” Tommy pointed toward the door. “Nino!” he hollered, making me jump a little.

The door flew open and Nino was in the room, looking ready to crush bones.

“Escort him out,” Tommy said.

Nino hauled my dad out of the room by the scruff while Tommy followed them out into the hall and shut the door.

I don’t think I was breathing.

Then Tommy was back. He shut the door and leaned against it and looked at me while I stared into space. Dad hadn’t even looked back at me on his way out the door. I looked up at Tommy finally, not sure what I’d see.

“Come here, baby,” Tommy said.

I stood slowly and fought the trembling that had started in my chin. No, no more tears. Not for my father. Tommy pulled me against him and kissed the top of my head and held me. The strength of his arms around me, the solidness of his chest, the smell of him, he smelled like home to me now.

He softly started to fill me in on the rest of the conversation he had with my father, and I kept dry eyes throughout the time he talked, my head just resting against his chest.

My father was a fuck up. My father was probably a rebound for my mother who was looking for a different life than what she’d grown up with, but my dad was the wrong choice. Tom Ferrano set out to ruin my dad, to show my mom what a loser he was so she’d come back to him. It didn’t work. It might’ve driven my mom to suicide. Tom Ferrano might have killed my uncle as he had been allegedly obsessed with my mother and the power my uncle wielded. Mom’s family were connected, even more than Tom Ferrano back in those days. I never knew. She told me nothing about her past.

Tommy didn’t have any proof that his father did anything to my mother directly, but Tommy had concerns that a lot of what my father had said was true because he said it fit his Pop’s MO. Tom Sr’s MO was get to someone anyway he could and often that was by hitting them where it hurt and making their life crumble around them.

With my Uncle Joe out of the way he had more power than ever. Tommy said he got off on the power, the control over peoples’ lives. Tommy said his pop loved being a puppet master and his eyes were filled with irony, apology, as he told me that.

“So, what now?” I asked, looking up at him and trying to ignore the way Tommy’s voice changed as he talked about his father’s love for control.

Tommy shook his head. “I’ll dig for more info. I have plans to talk to Bianca’s ma, she’s been an aunt to me. And to talk to Dario and the girls’ mother. Then I’ve got to decide what to do.”

“What do you mean what to do? What can you do?”

Tommy shrugged. “Let’s see where the truth takes us and then I’ll decide.”

I didn’t like the darkness in his eyes at that statement.

I heard a commotion outside the door. Tommy opened it. Nino and another guy I didn’t recognize were rushing toward the door.

Nino said, “T, I think you should come outside. Your father and Greg O’Connor are at it.”

Tommy booked it toward the door. I followed.

Outside, the front gate was open, and Tom Sr. was beating the snot out of my father out on the street. Tommy ran, passing James, and hauled his father off my father, whose face was gushing blood.

“Tia! Back in the fucking house!” Tommy yelled.

His father tried to pull free of Tommy’s grip and then the most awful thing happened. Tommy’s silver crucifix necklace flew airborne during the scuffle and it fell. I ran for it, but it fell down and when my eyes landed on the ground, they didn’t land on concrete or on grass. It was a sewer grate. I landed on my knees and cried out. Tommy let go of his father and reached for me.

Tom grabbed my dad again and cold-clocked him. Dad was knocked out, lying on the ground bleeding right beside the sewer that had swallowed up Tommy’s necklace, Tommy’s anchor to goodness.

I was inconsolable. I was on my now bloodied knees bawling, staring at the sewer. Anyone watching might’ve thought that I was crying for my passed-out bleeding father, but my eyes met Tommy’s and I knew he saw precisely what I was weeping about.

He hollered out, “Jimmy!” and then Nino and James got my father up off the ground carried him, barely conscious, back toward the house.

Tommy yelled at his father. “Pop, inside!” And then he lifted me off the ground and cradled me to his chest, carrying me tight against himself, back to the house while I cried inconsolably into his chest, clutching his shirt.

The guys put O’Connor into a car and had someone drive him. I knew they’d either get him looked at by a doctor or they’d bring him back to his house if he was all right. I got Tia into the family room, set her on the couch, and covered her shoulders with a blanket. I dabbed at her bleeding knees with tissue.

She’d stopped crying, but was making shuddering noises and had the hiccups. Sarah brought her a glass of water and put two glasses and a decanter of scotch on the coffee table, left the room and then came back with a first aid kit. I took it from her and waved her away. I put antiseptic and then Band-Aids on Tia’s knees and then I poured a drink for Pop and for myself. He sat a few cushions away from Tia on the sofa, watching me bandage her up with a weird expression on his face. I was sitting on the coffee table, my legs between the two of them.

“Pop, it’s time for the truth.”

He downed his scotch and looked at her.

I said, “I know some of it, I know you know that I know some, but we need you to fill in the blanks.”

“I’m sorry if that upset you,” he said to Tia. “That necklace you’re wearing; I gave that to your mother for her eighteenth birthday. Caused quite an uproar at the time.”

She put her hand to her throat.

“We were crazy about each other but her brother, my best friend and business partner, wanted no part of it. He didn’t want one of his buddies dating his little sister. Died when he was 28. Tragic loss. I was there for her and she was there for me. We started to date. It was at the end of my marriage to Annette. But Lita and I had a fight one night and split up. Stupid fight. She decided she wanted no part of the life I lead. We went our separate ways. She married your father. She married fast so I’d know we were really over. You were born. Then we reconnected again; she wasn’t happy with him, talked about leaving him. She got pregnant with my baby.”

Tia gasped.

“She had all this guilt. She decided to give things another go with him. Your father made her get rid of my kid. I’ve always hated him for that. I’m Catholic, you know; we don’t believe in that. When he made her have that abortion, I believe it destroyed her. He was the reason she died.” Pop poured another glass of scotch.

“I saw you a few months ago,” Pop said. “Saw you all grown up one day on the street with your friends and it was like looking at her all young and happy again and I, I … I decided to give my son what I should’ve had. I’ve been married a lot. But if I’d married Lita, that would’ve been forever. I won’t deny I wanted to take Gregory’s child the way he took my child from me, the child I never got to know.” He shrugged and downed the drink. “So I hate your father. Sorry but that’s how it is. Tommy cleared his debt and it’s done. I’ve wanted to knock him out for years and saw his smug face when he left here today and so I just closed the chapter with my fists, that’s all. I’m done.” Pop looked at me and raised his hands defensively. “I’m done, my boy. I know what you said when you cleared the debt, but I just needed to knock the smug look off his face. I’m done now.”

Tia had stopped shuddering and hiccupping. She was dabbing her eyes.

Pop got to his feet. “You wanna have him at your wedding, I’ll keep my mouth shut and I’ll be nice. As nice as I can be under the circumstances. You two have kids and he has to come to the baptism and so forth, I’ll be on my best behavior. But don’t expect me to be friends with him and unless it’s important don’t expect me to be under the same roof.”

“C’mon Pop,” I said and signaled for him to follow me. I leaned over and kissed her on the forehead and whispered, “Back in a few.”

Pop and I stepped outside. His driver was standing by the gate talking to Nino and Jimmy and they halted conversation when they saw us come out. I shot a dirty look their way. They looked like a couple of gossiping old ladies.

“What brought you by today?” I asked.

“Just wanted to say hello,” he answered and shrugged but he was looking me right in the eye, the way he always did when he was feeding me bullshit.

It was obvious that he knew O’Connor was here. Someone told him that my guys were picking the guy up. Who?

“Come by the office tomorrow morning, we gotta talk more about the Fete plan. Unfortunately, Denarda’s back in. People flying in tomorrow. I’ll fill you in later.”

“Right,” I said, jaw tight. Leo Denarda. Great.

“When ya getting married?” Pop asked.

I shook my head. “Not sure.”

“What’s the problem? You not sure about her now?”

I shook my head. “I’ve never been more sure about anything in my life.”

He frowned at me.

“I want it to be right. We’re almost there. It won’t be long.”

“You’re keeping me from my Valhalla.” He wagged a finger at me.

“Naw, Pop. You go. We’ll be good. We’ll get married soon.”

“Maybe. The new house is still bein’ built so not a major rush. We’ll talk more later.” He slapped me on the back and then headed down the front stairs toward his car. His driver jogged over from the gate and opened the car door for Pop. I followed the car out and stared at the sewer in front of my house. My mother’s necklace was gone. No way I’d get it back. Just as well, maybe. I needed to learn to control myself without it, anyhow.

I heard Nino call out, “T?”

I looked over my shoulder to see that suddenly Tia was beside me, staring at the sewer.

I gave her a sad look. She grasped the cameo necklace around her neck and yanked hard, breaking the chain. She looked at the necklace in her hand for a second and then she dropped it over the sewer grate, it caught for a second and then slid down between the slats. She turned on her heel and walked back toward the house. I let out a slow breath and followed her.

I walked up to the bedroom and kicked off my shoes and crawled into bed, the soft gray cashmere throw Tommy had put over my shoulders still wrapped around me.

The shit my father had pulled in my life all pointed to him being a weak and broken man. But what I saw today was like an addict swindling to get his fix. He was looking for an in with this family and thought I was it. And he turned on me. Tommy had said he was still using drugs. Was he imagining working for this family and getting wealthy and having access to all the sins he wanted? Drugs, gambling? Notoriety? Was he that out of touch with reality?

Tommy came into the bedroom a few minutes after I did, looking stressed. He took the navy-blue suit jacket he was wearing off and climbed in beside me and pulled me to his chest. I was going to cry again. It couldn’t be helped. So much for my tough, hardened self that I thought I was after my conversation with my Dad.

“Your necklace,” I whispered, rubbing my hand up his chest.

“I know,” he sighed.

“That was really fucked up,” I said.

“Yeah,” he replied.

“But what did he mean?” I asked.

“Hm?” he asked distractedly.

“He said you cleared my father’s debt. That didn’t make sense. Don’t I clear it by marrying you?”

Tommy’s eyes focused on me and he said, “I paid your father’s debt.”

“Huh?”

“Pop gave you to me as a gift. But I paid it anyway.”

I shook my head and frowned, not understanding.

He continued, “I paid it. Despite the gift, I wanted the debt paid. So when we got back from Mexico I paid it, with interest. To make it done.”

I started to feel spinny. “You paid for me?”

“Not for you, for the debt. To end it.”

“You paid money for me.” My fingers were at my temples.

“Tia, listen–”

“You really just had to ‘own’ me, didn’t you? You had to pay money for me because I’m a piece of fucking property to you!” I pushed at his chest to get away from him.

“No, that wasn’t it.”

He made me look at him by grabbing my chin and staring right into my eyes. “I paid money so that the debt was settled. The debt being settled meant my father wouldn’t meddle, wouldn’t think he had a right to do anything to your father again. Because he’s your father I did that so that you wouldn’t have to deal with my father fucking with your father’s life anymore. I know how Pop’s brain works. If I hadn’t settled the debt, he’d still think he had a right to continue to settle the score. Stealing you wasn’t enough. Fucking with Greg’s life wasn’t enough. It might never have ended. Never. And you’re not just a piece of property to me; you’re every fuckin’ thing to me.”

I couldn’t think straight, I wanted him to let go of me. I pushed at his chest again, but he pulled me tighter against him. Instead of fighting, which I knew was useless, I just went limp. He held me close and rocked me for a long time and I was just limp. No tears, no expression, no thoughts. Just limp.

“Baby?” he finally said and touched his lips to my forehead, one hand threaded into my hair.

I closed my eyes tight. “I can’t,” I said.

“Athena.” He hauled me back a few inches and held my face in both of his hands. I opened my eyes.

“I love you,” he said.

I nodded a little.

“Baby, I love you,” he repeated.

I opened my mouth but nothing would come out but a little sob that I pulled back. Tommy’s expression dropped. He let go of me and I dropped limply onto the pillows. He left the room, slamming the door.

I’d promised him just this morning that I’d always say it back. I failed him.

* * *

Sarah was tapping my shoulder. I jackknifed up in bed, gasping.

“Sorry, Chiquita; you been sleeping three hours. Tommy has to go away on business. I need to pack a bag for him, he asked me to tell you. He’s in the office if you wanna go say bye. He says he’ll be gone a few days.”

I put my head back on the pillow and pulled the blanket up over my head. I didn’t fall back asleep; I just sort of laid there. I heard her leave a few moments later.

I didn’t know where Tommy was going and I didn’t care. Whatever. Him away instead of here meant I wouldn’t have to endure his mood swings, endure his wrath without the protection of his necklace.