Chapter 15
CHAPTER 15
LEAH
I arrange to meet the girls at our favourite coffee shop for lunch the next day.
“Hey, where’s the fire?” Stella asks, standing up and giving me a hug when I move to the table.
“Not a fire,” I say, pulling out my chair and dropping into it. “More of a flood.”
They both fix their eyes on me.
“The apartment flooded last night,” I say.
“Oh, Leah,” Nat says, gripping my hand over the table.
“How?” Stella asks.
“The sprinkler system malfunctioned,” I say. “The entire apartment was underwater. Everything is ruined.”
They both stare at me open-mouthed.
“Where are you staying?” Stella asks.
“That’s the thing. Gabriel invited me to move in with him.”
“He what?” Stella shrieks, bringing stares from the nearby tables.
“Sorry,” she says, her voice more restrained. “What do you mean, you’ve moved in with Gabriel? We want details and fast.”
I update them on the flood, and how Gabriel came with me to survey the damage.
“Maintenance was going to put me up in a hotel. Gabriel wouldn’t hear of it. He insisted I move into one of his spare rooms.”
“I’m sure he did,” Stella says, waggling her eyebrows.
“It’s not like that. Gabriel knows I like to cook. He knows if I stay in a hotel, I’ll be forced to eat takeaways. His apartment is triple the size I was renting from him and is spread over two floors. The bedroom he’s put me up in is more like a hotel suite. I will hardly have to see him.”
My friends stare at me wide-eyed. I haven’t told them about Gabriel and my dinner arrangement, mainly for this reason. I don’t want them to jump to any conclusions. It’s already a strange set-up. I don’t need them adding to it.
“So, you’re telling us you’re now living under the same roof as your boss?” Stella says.
“Technically, they were already living under the same roof,” Nat interjects, making me chuckle.
“True —but she’s now sharing living space with her sexy boss.”
“Boss, being the operative word,” I say firmly. “Before you get any romantic ideas about Gabriel and me. We don’t see each other that way. He’s my boss, and he’s five years younger than me.”
“Ooh, toy boy.” Stella chuckles. “Think of the stamina.”
Nat swats Stella on the arm, making her yelp playfully.
“Come on, you’d have to be blind or a nun not to notice how hot he is. Not to mention, he’s the identical and very single twin of the man voted The City’s Most Eligible Bachelor. Voted and agreed by the majority of women in our fine city. ”
I groan, sounding like Gabriel when Caleb was voted the city’s most eligible bachelor for the second year running.
“Stella’s right. He is gorgeous, and you are now single,” Nat says.
“Don’t you start,” I say, turning to Nat. “You’re supposed to be the sensible one. It’s not happening, ladies. He’s my boss. I’m sorry to disappoint you both, but we’re friends and colleagues.”
Stella and Nat share a look, making me sigh. “Whatever I say, you’re not going to believe me, are you?”
“It’s not that.” It’s Nat who speaks, surprising me. “It’s just... he’s a friend who left his night out to track you down when he knew you were upset. He offered you his empty apartment at a ridiculously low rent when you had nowhere else to go. Now he has you move in with him when your apartment floods. Are you sure he sees you as just a friend?”
“Stop,” I say. The words come out harsher than I expect. “I know you mean well, but you need to stop reading into this. That’s just who Gabriel is. He’s loyal to his friends,” I tell them, knowing it sounds strange, but it’s the truth. They haven’t been privy to this side of him. It’s only recently I’ve come to witness it.
“You have to admit, he is gorgeous. Can you blame us, now you’re single? You’d make a beautiful couple, just imagine the babies you’d make,” Nat continues, before her hand flies to her mouth. “Oh, Leah, I’m so sorry, that was completely thoughtless of me. I wasn’t thinking.” Nat’s eyes fill with tears, and it’s my turn to grip her hand.
“Hey, don’t worry. Since when do we tread on eggshells around one another?” I ask.
At that moment, our food arrives, acting as the perfect distraction for everyone.
“Gabriel got an eyeful of my housewarming present,” I tell them .
There is a clatter of knives and forks as they hit their plates. Stella starts choking, making Nat slap her hard on the back.
“What?” She chokes, still gasping for air, and her face flushes.
“He was helping me move and opened my bedside drawer.”
My memory returns to Gabriel’s flushed cheeks and his inability to look me in the eye as he left the room.
“Maybe he’ll volunteer, save on batteries,” Stella says, when she’s finally caught her breath.
“Boss,” I say again for the umpteenth time.
“Yes, but you can’t tell me he won’t be lying in bed thinking about you using it,” Stella says, waggling her eyebrows at me.
I groan, wondering what possessed me to tell them, so I try another distraction.
“This afternoon, Gabriel has arranged for me to see his personal shopper. My suits were ruined in the flood.”
Once again, my friends share that look, but this time, I’m thankful they hold their tongues.
“How the other half live,” Stella sighs. “I’d love a personal shopper.”
Unlike Nat and me, Stella hates shopping, so I can understand the draw.
“I’ll let you know whether it lives up to the hype,” I tell them.
We spend the rest of our lunch break talking about our next girls get together. It was supposed to be at mine, but Stella agrees to host, although I tell her I’ll provide the food and drinks.
We finish lunch, and I head off to meet up with Gabriel’s personal shopper. I’m greeted by Mario, who leads me to a private room equipped with the comfiest-looking sofas, racks of clothing items, and a changing area. Natural daylight floods the room from the high, discrete windows. Once he gets me settled, he introduces me to Chloe, who will be my stylist for the afternoon.
“Mr Frazer mentioned that you require work suits. That yours were unfortunately damaged in a flood?” she asks, sounding confused.
“Malfunctioning sprinkler system,” I say, taking a sip of the wine Chloe has just presented me with.
“Wow, okay. Not a problem,” she says, smiling warmly. “Mr Frazer has told me to put everything on his account.”
“Er...no...that’s okay. I can pay for my own clothes,” I say.
Gabriel definitely won’t be paying for my wardrobe expenses.
“Apparently, he is, and I don’t argue with him. He also instructed me to tell you, you aren’t allowed to argue either.”
I raise my eyebrows at her, and she laughs.
“I know, but who am I to argue? I work on commission and do as I’m told,” she says with a wink, and I realise I’m going to be in for a fun afternoon.
“I’ll take the argument home with me,” I say.
“Let’s get started,” Chloe says, wheeling out a clothes rack full of the most beautiful business suits I’ve ever seen.
“I...” I go to say. There’s no way I can afford one of these, let alone the five I need to replace.
“Oh, I should mention, Mr Frazer had me remove all the price tags. You are to have what you need.”
When I go to open my mouth, she holds up her hand. “I’ve been styling Mr Frazer for five years. I do as he asks,” Chloe says.
“Well, I’ve worked for him for eight.” I grin back at her. “And you have impeccable taste.” My final statement earns me another grin. “Let’s do this. I’m too tired to argue.”
The next couple of hours fly by, and I realise I like Chloe a lot. She’s funny and smart. She has a first-class honours degree in fashion. She designs and sells her own brand online, which I promise to look up later. One day she hopes to set up her own clothing line.
“You’re all done,” she says, marking up the last of the suits, blouses, and shoes. “I’ll have the altered suits delivered to Mr Frazer’s apartment by lunchtime tomorrow.”
“Thank you, Chloe. This afternoon has been an experience.”
Chloe grins. “I hope to see you again soon.”
I nod as we shake hands, but I know there’s no way in hell I can afford this luxury. But today was something every woman should have the chance to experience at least once in their life. Who am I kidding? This is a taste of how the other half live. Even Vince doesn’t use a personal shopper... or maybe he does.
I’m not sure whether to be disappointed or relieved when I arrive back at Gabriel’s apartment to find it empty. I move to the kitchen area and notice a note left on the side.
Leah
I’ve gone to meet with Caleb. I won’t need dinner.
Hope your shopping trip went well.
Gabriel
With Gabriel out, I sit in the main living area. The view over the water is spectacular, highlighting the vibrancy of our city .
I grab my laptop and look up Chloe’s clothing line. I scroll through the pages of clothes.
Wow, she is truly talented.
I click on a couple of summer dresses and a top, placing an order. I smile before flashing the URL to both Stella and Nat. A small boutique, what’s not to love?
My email pings.
It’s my weekly update from my parents detailing the friends and ex-colleagues they’ve met up with.
I click on the photographs, taking in their healthy glow and relaxed postures. I miss them, especially now, but there’s no way I will have them mar their brows with worry as they think of me at home.
The last picture is of my mum holding a baby. She’s added a caption. Can’t wait for grandbabies of my own . Pain lances through my chest. Damn Vince. It’s not only my dreams, but he’s also shattered theirs.
I stare at the picture of my mum holding their friend’s grandchild, my dad looking down at them both, his finger being gripped in a tiny hand. I bite down on my hand to stifle the sob that threatens. My mum had a rough pregnancy with me. As a result, the doctors advised them not to try for any more children. My mum, blessed to have me, followed the doctor’s advice. Both my parents smothered me with love. Love and laughter always filled our house, but it hasn’t stopped me from dreaming of a large family. Vince always knew this. I thought we were on the same page.
My mind wanders back to my lunch date with the girls. The thought of dating again leaves me cold and detached. The effort it will take to get to know someone, to be able to trust them. I’m not sure I want that, at least not yet. But then, do I have time to waste? If I want to see my dreams of a family fulfilled. I’m not getting any younger. From next year, any pregnancy means I fall under geriatric, meaning the risks go up for both me and the baby. That’s not including if I have any issues getting pregnant.
When I look back on my relationship with Vince, I can see how na?ve I was. There was always an excuse to take the next step to start a family. A friend’s wedding, another fancy holiday, a promotion at work. That’s why I was surprised when Yasmin announced she was expecting. Vince has always been super cautious, taking charge of birth control even when I was on the pill. We never had unprotected sex in the whole ten years we were together.
“Can’t be too careful,” he used to say. “There’s plenty of time for that.”
Well, my time with Vince has passed. Do I hope Mr Right appears? Of course. But what then? A year, maybe two, as we get to know each other. I’ll be thirty-six, maybe thirty-seven, and that’s if I meet someone immediately. Not if I end up dating a few idiots along the way.
I rub my eyes. My hopes and dreams for the future are slowly dying.
I flip back to the internet and pause... typing and hitting return before I can change my mind.
Pregnancy options for single women
The search engine spits out its results.
Wow, who knew there’d be so many options.
I click on one website.
IVF: the option to freeze my eggs for later use or to have them fertilised by donor sperm.
IUI: or intrauterine insemination using a donor at a fertility clinic.
Artificial Insemination comes up next. The DIY of pregnancy. I smile as I read more information on the subject. I’m astonished by the vast amount of information that is accessible. YouTube videos on how to use the kits, where to go and what to look out for. I read several testimonials for one site and I decide to enter my details.
What have I got to lose?
I’m not signing my life away. Only looking for information.
I enter my personal details, only to have it ask me what I’m looking for in terms of a sperm donor. I enter my requirements and complete the procedure. The screen tells me someone from the company will be in touch in the next seven days.
I put my laptop to one side and bring my feet up. Clicking the remote for the enormous television Gabriel has attached to the wall. I flick through the apps and streaming services. Gabriel has a full house. Why does that not surprise me? Why do without when you don’t have to? I find a rom-com I was hoping to see at the cinema a while back, but Vince blew me off for a work meeting, or so he said.
I push the thought aside and allow myself to sink into the story’s romance. My eyes get heavier. I dream of romance, and babies, of love and family.
I wake with a start. The room is dark, except for one of the table lamps offering a subtle illumination. The television is off, and my laptop is closed on the coffee table. I stretch, only to find that one of the throws covers me.
Oh, help! Gabriel must have come home and found me sprawled out on his sofa.
I throw back the blanket and stand up. After folding it carefully, I make my way up the stairs. The last thing I want or need is for Gabriel to come back downstairs and find me still asleep in his living room. Way to irritate the person who’s opened their door to you. A thought hits me - What if he brought a woman home? How awkward would that have been? Oh, I’m so stupid. What was I thinking? Goodness, what happens if he wants to bring a woman home? My stomach cramps in protest. I need to raise it with him. Maybe we need to have a sign, then I can make sure I stay up in my room, out of the way.
I creep upstairs and into my bedroom, collapsing on my bed.
I need to find a way to apologise.