Chapter Thirteen #4
“Okay,” I say relieved. I sit beside him on the edge of the tub.
His fingers are clumsy on the cardboard as he opens the flaps. He pulls out the foil wrapped stick and unfolds the instruction sheet. His eyes scan it, his lips moving slightly. “It says I pee on the stick and wait three minutes.”
“Easy-peasy?” I smirk.
He rolls his eyes and takes the stick to the toilet. I turn away to give him the pretense of privacy. I hear him unwrap it. There’s the sound of him using the toilet, I hear him cap the test and set it down on the counter. Then he flushes the toilet and washes his hands.
“Okay,” he says. “Three minutes. Starting now.”
I turn around. He’s standing at the counter brushing his teeth, staring at the white stick. I check my watch for the time. Once he spits and rinses, he comes and sits beside me again on the edge of the tub.
I take his hand and he sighs. Through the highest window in the room, the sky is shifting from black to the pinky-gray that comes before dawn. The house is silent. I can hear Elio’s nervous breathing and the soft tick of my watch counting down the minutes.
“This is so weird,” he whispers.
“Yes.”
He’s quiet, but then says, “If I’m pregnant, at least I’m finally fulfilling part of my obligation to you.”
The old me would have agreed without thinking how that would make him feel. I’d have wanted him grateful for all I’d done for him. But that kind of arrogant response would only reinforce the idea he’s only here temporarily. That this is a business transaction.
Now, I don’t want to do or say anything that makes him feel like our relationship is transactional, because it isn’t anymore.
I want Elio in my life forever. Playing it cool at a moment like this will only put a wedge between us.
While I hinted at how I feel last night, I want to be very clear about my feelings for him.
Even if it’s terrifying to be so vulnerable.
Even if he rejects me.
I bring his hand to my lips, and ignoring my nerves, I say, “This isn’t just about the contract for me anymore, Elio.”
He stills, turning his head to meet my gaze.
I can’t read his expression, and my heart is thumping so hard, I feel light-headed.
If he doesn’t feel the same way as me, this is the moment I find that out.
I don’t know what I’ll do if he doesn’t want me the way I want him. But I have to know where he stands.
“What are you saying?” he asks in a hushed voice.
I lick my lips. “I’m saying my feelings for you are real. I want you pregnant with my child because I want you to be my omega for real. I don’t only want you here to give me an heir. To fulfill an obligation. I… I want you to be mine forever, Elio.”
He makes a surprised sound.
I swallow hard and then say, “Screw only being together three years. How about a lifetime instead?”
His eyes flicker. “Marcello,” he whispers.
My heart stutters because his face is still impossible to read. “You don’t look like you feel the same. Do you not feel any real connection to me?”
“I… I didn’t say that.” He studies me intently. “Are you being serious right now, Marcello?”
“Dead serious. I… I love you, Elio.”
“You love me,” he murmurs, appearing almost startled. “How can that be? You could have anyone.”
“I want you.” I reach over and touch his cheek. “Surely you know that? You must know that?”
He wrinkles his brow, avoiding my gaze. “Marcello, please don’t toy with me. I’ll give you your heir. You don’t have to say things like that to me. I’ll do what you hired me to do. There’s no need to play with my emotions.”
I scowl. “I’m not playing with you. Do you really think I’d do that?”
He meets my gaze and pain glitters there. “It might kill me if you do.”
“No. I swear, I’m not toying with you.” I think I surprise us both when I get on my knees in front of him.
He blinks at me, cheeks pink. “What are you doing?”
“I don’t know,” I admit. “I only know that I love you, Elio. I want you as my omega, even if you never give me an heir. I need you to know I’m serious.”
His lips part and he touches my face. “Jesus, Marcello, get up. You shouldn’t be on your knees for me.”
“Why not? I’ll happily beg you to love me, if that’s what you want. If you don’t love me back, I’ll die, Elio.”
“God, don’t say that.” He slides down onto the floor with me and he leans in and kisses me.
His mouth is warm and searching, and I groan and slip my arms around him. I pray this kiss means he feels the same as me.
Please don’t let it be a pity kiss.
He pulls back, cupping my face. “Is this real?”
“Yes,” I say without hesitation.
He lets out a harsh breath. “I… I love you too, Marcello. I never dreamed you’d love me.”
“I do,” I rasp. “We can tear up the contract. I don’t need a contract with you. You’re mine, Elio. No one else better even think about touching you.”
He grimaces. “I don’t want anyone but you.”
“Promise?” I push the hair off his smooth brow, staring into his beautiful green eyes.
“I promise.” He slips his arms around me, holding me tight. “This can’t be real.”
“It is,” I rumble, holding him tight.
He stiffens suddenly, looking past me. “Oh, my God.”
I stiffen too, and turn my head to look. “What’s wrong?”
He pushes up out of my arms and he stumbles toward the counter. “Oh, my God, there are two pink lines.”
I stand and move toward him. “There are?”
“Yes. I’m pregnant. I’m pregnant with your baby, Marcello.”
I stare at the test and sure enough, there are two dark pink lines indicating he’s with child. I laugh and grab him, tugging him in for a hot, desperate kiss. “You’re pregnant with my baby,” I whisper against his mouth.
He nods, also laughing. His eyes are shining and he looks happier than I’ve ever seen him. He touches his stomach, cheeks flushed. “I knew it. I just knew it.”
I feel his heart beating against mine. “Are you happy, tesoro?”
He sniffs, wiping roughly at his eyes. “Yes, but I don’t know if I deserve to be this happy.”
“Yes you do.” I hold him tighter. “Of course you do.”
“Can we really do this? Just be together and be in love?”
“Why not?” I pull back and smile down at him. “I’m Marcello Foschini, and I can do whatever I want.”
He smiles weakly. “And you’re sure I’m who you want?”
I nudge his chin up and press my mouth to his. Then I whisper, “I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life. Trust me with your heart, mio, and I’ll trust you with mine.”
While there’s still worry in his eyes, he nods. “I couldn’t say no even if I wanted to. And I don’t want to. I love you too, Marcello. With all my heart.”
“Then it’s settled,” I say possessively. “You belong to me.”