13. Liana
LIANA
God, I hate myself. I was worried about him last night, worried that he might be injured. Why? I want him gone. I want him dead for what he did to my father... what he did to me.
But then the only time I feel alive is when his hands are on my body, when he’s inside me. There’s something wrong with me.
I’ve been taking all the right steps, but I’m clearly still not over Dario Conte.
I’ve been hiding in Sonny’s room all week when I get the notification that Dario has wired me my weekly allowance—five thousand dollars.
It’s way more than I need since rent and meals are provided, but Dario believes I love to shop just as much as I used to back when we were together.
I mean, he’s right. I do, but I don’t have to. I’m squirreling at least half of it away every week, biding my time so that I can get the hell out of here.
Because apparently, I can’t do what needs to be done and kill him.
Every time Dario leaves, I rush into his office, poke around in there, looking for something, anything, to prove that he killed my father.
Because if I can’t do it myself, I’ll have to hire someone, and they’ll need a reason. No one would off Dario Conte, don of the Conte family, without a damn good reason.
And killing my father might be enough.
My father is well-known and well-liked in the community. A lot of people mourn his death.
But his office is clean. Well, relatively clean. There are shipments for drugs and guns but that’s common for a don. There’s no records anywhere, but there’s a locked drawer at the top of his desk that I simply can’t get into.
I’ve tried a bobby pin, my pocket knife, a toothpick, everything.
I can’t pop that lock.
But I will.
I’ll find proof and I’ll have him killed. I’m determined.
Sonny wakes up and I get his teeth and hair brushed before I take him down to Marie’s room. She’s a lovely older woman who Sonny loves to pieces.
“I wanna go to the pool,” Sonny whines, in a mood. He’s been acting out a little since we moved here. He ca probably feel the stress I’m feeling.
“I promise we’ll go when Mama gets back from shopping with Aunt Beth, okay?”
He nods sullenly. Marie takes his hand when I knock on her door, leading him down to the kitchen for breakfast.
I head back into my room to put on a simple sundress and a pair of flats, and some natural makeup. I sling my purse over my shoulder and head outside to Beth’s waiting car.
She’s still a little peeved at me about staying here, and she’s going to be even more mad when I tell her that I slept with Dario again.
And I will tell her. She’s my best friend. She won’t actually judge me. She just wants what’s best for me, and God knows Dario isn’t it.
“Where to first?”
“Let’s go to that diner near the shopping complex. I’m starving.”
She nods curtly and I sigh as she heads for the freeway.
“Are you still mad at me?”
She frowns. ”I’m not mad, Liana. I’m just worried.”
“I know.”
“You don’t know,” she blurts out. “It’s like you’ve forgotten what a mess he left behind when he cheated on you. He broke your spirit, Liana. It was like you were never really there, for months, until Sonny was born.”
She’s right. Sonny brought me back from the brink, and I love him all the more for it. Maybe that’s why I can’t kill Dario. Maybe it’s because he gave me the most important thing in my life, even though he doesn’t know it.
“You’re right,” I say, taking her hand and squeezing it. “You’re right, and I’ve been more stupid than you know.”
Beth squeezes my hand back and then puts it on the steering wheel.
“So you slept with him,” she says calmly.
I freeze. “How did you...”
“I know you, Liana,” she drawls. “And I know the hold my cousin inexplicably has on you.”
“It’s just... we have chemistry,” I try to explain. “History.”
“History, yeah... a history of disaster.”
I nod. “Yeah. Definitely, but there’s something about the train wreck that I feel oddly comforted by.”
“You used to be in love with him. It’s hard to just switch that off.”
I sigh in relief. “Thank you for understanding.”
She side eyes me. “Just because I understand doesn’t mean I agree with what you’re doing, Liana. You know you and Sonny could come stay with me—”
“I don’t want to put you out like that,” I say firmly. “Now, what are you going to get at the diner?”
She huffs, knowing I’m changing the subject.
But I can’t help it. I don’t want her to go into her savings to help us when Dario has offered in exchange for a quickie marriage and a tax break.
Besides, I have to stay close so that I can get some proof of what he did to my father.
I order myself a mimosa and some sausage gravy and biscuits when we arrive at the diner. It’s still early, so they’re serving breakfast and brunch.
Beth orders a pot roast sandwich from their brunch menu and a white wine spritzer.
I have to admit, it’s nice to be able to go out and eat. I’m hopeless in the kitchen. We always had cooks and I was spoiled.
I wonder where Dario learned to cook. Surely, he grew up with the same amenities as me.
I blink, looking down at my food. I have got to stop thinking about Dario.
“How was it?” Beth asks, and my eyes shoot to hers.
“How was what?”
She groans. “The sex, you ditz. I mean, was it as good as it was before?”
“Better,” I mumble. It really was, especially when I pulled a knife on him—but I can’ t tell Beth that part. Even though she hates him, she’s loyal to her family.
“Abscence makes the heart grow fonder?”
“My heart doesn’t have anything to do with it.”
I hate that it sounds like a lie even to my own ears.
“And what about Sonny? Aren’t you worried that Dario will put it together?”
I swallow hard. I worry about it every day.
“I try to keep them apart. He hired me a nanny.”
“Of course he did. He wants you back, Liana.”
I gape at her. “Don’t be ridiculous. This is all so he can fuck me and get a tax break. It has nothing to do with him wanting to get back together for real.”
She raises an eyebrow. “Doesn’t it? If that’s the case, why can’t you see anyone else?”
I tilt my chin up. “He’s just... territorial. It doesn’t mean anything.”
“If you say so.”
“Is there something you know that I don’t know?”
Beth shrugs. “Just that Dario never was the jealous type before you.”
“He.. he wasn’t?” I can’t believe I’m so interested. I want to know everything, what Dario was like before he met me, what his relationships were like...
“Not at all. In fact, he and Giovanni used to swap girls around.”
I wrinkle my nose. I don’t want to know that much.
“Don’t be such a sourpuss,” Beth teases. “What I’m saying is despite all his flaws, Dario never cared about anyone like he cared about you. You can take that away from this.”
“I don’t know if that’s true,” I mumble.
“Believe what you want. Just... keep your eyes open. I know he felt differently about you than anyone else, and that doesn’t just go away.”
Is she right? He doesn’t act like he hates me anymore, not like he did when all this started.
Does Dario want more out of this than I’m willing to give?
What does it matter if he does? I can’t trust him. Especially since he likely killed my father.
I hate keeping that from Beth, but I have to. The Contes are all close.
We finish eating and I stick to just one mimosa, wanting to stay clear.
“Where are you window shopping at next?” Beth asks, teasing me, and I laugh.
“Let’s go to that new boutique on the corner. I’ll buy a dress, see if they’ll loan me a few more bags so it looks like I spent a lot.”
Beth nods. She knows about my plan to hide money away until I’m able to leave Dario.
We make our way to the boutique and I find a backless, blue dress that makes my eyes pop and fits my curves well.
“Could I have a few extra bags?” I ask, and the saleswoman blinks but nods, handing me some extras.
I pile everything into Beth’s trunk, and we head back toward the house.
“You’re sure you don’t want to go back to my place? We can pick up Sonny and—”
“Just let me do this, Beth, okay?” I plead. Beth sighs heavily but nods.
She doesn’t get out of the car when we arrive, just letting me take the bags out of the trunk before speeding away.
I watch her go. She’s probably mad at me, but she won’t be for long. Beth and I have always been close. She’ll come around.
I walk inside and hear Sonny giggling. I smile, putting the bags down in the living room. The sound is coming from out back, so Marie must have taken him to the pool.
I make my way out there and freeze when I see Dario, wearing a pair of swim trunks and nothing else, throwing my son into the pool.
Sonny comes up giggling, his floaties making him float instantly to the top.
“Again! Again!”
“Absolutely not,” I bark, stalking toward the pool. “You swim over to the edge, mister, we’re getting out.”
“No,” Sonny says sullenly. “M’having fun.”
“Come on, Li, let him play a bit longer,” Dario says, and I whirl around to face him.
“Where’s Marie?”
“She had an emergency. I didn’t want to bother you and I didn’t have work, so I said I’d take him to the pool until you got back.”
“One more time, Mama, please,” Sonny pleads, sounding like he’s near tears, and I rub a hand across my face.
“Fine. One more time. And be careful with him, will you?”
“Yes, ma’am,” he drawls, and I roll my eyes but my cheeks heat up.
I cross my arms over my chest and watch Sonny climb out of the pool, running to Dario. Dario grins when he hefts him up, chucking him almost to the deep end.
My breath catches but Sonny comes up in just a moment, yelling and laughing.
By the time I get Sonny and my bags back into his room, Sonny’s falling asleep in my arms. I get him into a quick shower and lie him down on the bed.
“I like it here, Mama,” Sonny says as I kiss his forehead.
“I’m glad,” I mumble, not sure what else to say, and he closes his eyes.
God, he’s getting attached to this place. Maybe to Dario.
I have to get out as soon as I can.