Chapter 38
V Saint
“The closer death got to my father, the more I started thinking about the kind of life I actually wanted.”
Ifinally left the Ritz, sober, somewhat mentally okay.
I had seen my doctor one last time. He prescribed me an antidepressant to get through the day and told me to start seeing a therapist to get a proper diagnosis.
I took the meds but backburnered the therapist. I had to be honest with myself, I needed it, but I wasn’t ready.
I kept thinking about Sade and what we did.
Wondering if I should have even done it.
I was vulnerable at the time, and she was the only thing that felt right and secure in those moments.
My thoughts kept moving.
She’s going to resent me, but she wanted me.
But did I want something so precious, so soon?
I shook my head.
Man up, nigga. She feeling you too.
Then my mind immediately went somewhere else.
She still seeing that nigga, tho’… she gon’ have to dead that. She’s mine now.
I exhaled and pushed Sade out of my head for a second.
I was going back to work in a couple of days, sober, mind right. I had a project to finish and more properties to build.
Most importantly… I was about to inherit St. Clair Realty for real. Now it was time to go see the man in charge.
I pressed the gas harder and weaved through traffic toward my parents’ house.
By the time I pulled up, it was close to 11 PM, but I knew they were still up. I cut the engine and sat there for a second before finally getting out.
I walked inside and immediately smelled food.
My mother looked up from the kitchen table. She was doing a word search. “Well, look who’s finally alive.”
I smirked. “Dang, that’s how you greet me?”
“That’s how you get greeted after disappearing for over a week.”
She walked over and hugged me tight. I hugged her back harder than usual.
“You ate?”
“Not yet.”
She pointed toward the stove. “Fix a plate before you go in there.”
I nodded and made myself a pork chop, some greens, and jambalaya rice before heading toward the living room.
My father was awake, watching some old western. Oxygen mask on his face. Blanket over his legs.
He looked over at me when I walked in and took off the mask.
“There goes my junior.”
“Waddup, boss.”
He smirked a little and motioned for me to sit down. I sat across from him, and for a second, neither one of us said anything while I ate.
“You look better than you did when you came to the hospital.”
“I feel better.”
“You stop smoking?”
I looked away briefly. “Yeah.”
“That woman helping you?”
I looked back at him slowly. “What woman?”
“Ain’t no point playing stupid with me, ya momma told me.”
I laughed under my breath and leaned back against the couch. “Yeah.”
“She calming you down?”
“More than she knows.”
“What’s her name?”
“Sade.”
“That your girl or ya momma just jumping the gun like always?”
I rubbed my beard. “Complicated.”
He laughed low. “Everything is complicated with y’all generation.”
“She’s different.”
“That’s usually how it starts.”
I looked down at my plate for a second before speaking again. “I took her virginity.”
That made him raise his eyebrows. “How old is she?”
“Thirty-two.”
“Damn. It’s women still out here like that?”
“I guess so.”
He looked at me hard after that. “Don’t take advantage of her.”
“I’m not.”
“I’m serious, Junior. Women don’t give men pieces of themselves like that unless it means something.”
“I know.”
“You love her?”
I stayed quiet too long.
That answered enough.
“She love you?”
“She cares.”
My father leaned his head back against the chair. “Don’t die lonely and miserable like your Uncle Vernon did.”
That made me chuckle. “I won’t.”
“I’m serious. That nigga spent his whole life chasing women and ended up dying in that house by himself.”
“I hear you, pops.”
He looked toward the TV again. “Your mother probably already told you I updated the will.”
“She mentioned it.”
“When I’m gone, St. Clair Realty is fully yours and Vanessa’s.”
I ran my hand down my face.
“You already know how to run it. I’ve been preparing you since you were young.”
“You have.”
“I’m leaving you three million liquid too.”
I looked over at him. “You ain’t gotta do all that.”
“Yes, I do. Use it on my future grandkids.”
I looked at him. My father looked older tonight. That shit still ain’t feel real to me.
“I need you not to take my death to heart,” he said calmly. “I want you to run this business with an iron fist. You gon’ be good without me.”
I looked down at my plate.
“You hear me?”
“Yes, sir.”
“I raised you to lead, not be a bitch ass nigga.”
“I’ll never be that.”
He looked over at me one more time before smiling.
“Well, stop stressing over that woman not loving you, because she does. If she stayed with you through all this shit, and gave you something special, she probably ain’t going nowhere. Ya momma told me she stayed with you for days.”
That made me laugh for real this time. “Momma and ya daughter nosy as hell.”
Maybe he was right. Maybe she did love a nigga, and I was ready to find out.