6. Chapter 6 #2
He was silent for so long that she looked back up at him. His gaze traced her face: her jaw, her cheekbones, the curve of her forehead…her mouth. In a rare moment of self-consciousness, she licked her lips and tugged at her bottom lip with her teeth.
“Forgive me,” he whispered. “I was…. ”
He didn’t finish the statement. Was he thinking of their child? Was that a flush across his cheekbones? There was a strange, dreamy quality to his face. She might have swallowed her own tongue had there been enough saliva left in her mouth to accomplish such a feat.
“Lord David…” she finally managed after an absurdly long pause, but she couldn’t finish the rest of the sentence.
“There’s no need to use my title.”
There was every need. It kept a distance between them that she very much needed to exist. “It would be foolish to risk a child.”
“Yes,” he agreed. “Foolish.” He paused and closed his eyes, as if gathering his thoughts.
When he opened them again, his jaw was rigid and he was all business.
“There are other things we can use. Vaginal pessaries…caps, diaphragms.” He reached into a hidden pocket inside his coat and pulled out a small card with what looked to be a handwritten address. “Do you know of those things?”
She nodded and accepted the card. Their mother had given them each lectures on contraceptives. She probably should have said that. Instead, she said, “Of course. Cora uses a—”
But then she realized what she had done and shut her mouth. It was none of his business what Cora and Devonworth used and she had no right to tell him.
“Then I imagine Lady Devonworth’s familiar with the address.” He grinned, the light catching that familiar twinkle in his eye. “I can accompany you, if you prefer.”
Her cheeks were hot and she shook her head, not at all willing to go with him.
Serious again, he asked, “Are you comfortable with using one?”
She nodded. “Yes.”
He didn’t seem convinced. His gaze swept over her face again and when she couldn’t meet his eyes, he tilted her chin up. “You can tell me no, Miss Dove. I’d prefer to feel you bare, but I’m willing to accept you any way I can have you.”
Bare. He kept using that word and it did delightful things to her.
It lit her up from the inside out. They would be bare.
His body on hers. His body inside hers. Nothing between them.
Pinpricks of heat washed over her from where he touched her, over her shoulders and arms, down her legs, and back up to settle between her thighs.
Her body softened and warmed there, pulsing with every beat of her heart.
She wasn’t very experienced, but she wasn’t a virgin.
Thanks to her foolish heart, she’d given into one rake before.
It meant her body knew the pleasure that awaited.
“I am willing,” she whispered. “But I have an amendment of my own.”
His eyes widened slightly but that was the only indication of surprise he gave her. “Yes?”
“I…” It sounded silly, but the thought had occurred to her that night in the carriage and she hadn’t been able to get it out of her mind. “I don’t want you to kiss me.”
His brow creased and his eyes dropped to her mouth again before sliding back up her face. “What?” The word was tinged with disappointment.
He was going to reject her proposition. The problem was that she very much wanted him to kiss her and she suspected that doing so would destroy her.
Their coupling would be difficult enough because she suspected it would be very enjoyable.
She’d had one other lover. A terrible, youthful mistake.
Vincent had left her heartbroken and feeling like an idiot.
But she knew sex could be pleasant and kissing could be intimate.
She needed to keep some distance from David.
“No kissing anywhere?”
“On the mouth,” she hurried to clarify.
His jaw relaxed ever so slightly. “Then I can kiss you anywhere else?”
“Yes,” she whispered.
He breathed out slowly, his breath touching her cheek and ear.
Despite herself, she closed her eyes to exult in the sensation.
He moved in closer; she could feel the heat of his body and his knuckle stroked down her neck.
This was followed by the barest hint of his lips tracing the same line. “Here?” he whispered.
She sucked in a breath. “Yes.”
Though his mouth paused at her ear, his knuckles continued down her chest to the crest of one breast. “Here?”
“Yes.”
He made a soft little sound of gratification and his hand continued down her stomach to where the silk fabric of her gown was drawn tight over her hips.
The back was tied up in a bustle, which meant the front pulled across her thighs in attractive drapes.
It wasn’t difficult for him to find the apex of her thighs and while he didn’t press in very much, she felt him as if he’d reached under her skirt and touched her bare flesh. She had to stifle a gasp.
“Here?” His hot breath caressed the shell of her ear.
There? A pulse beat beneath where he touched her. “Yes.”
“Good.” He stepped away as if he hadn’t just sent her reeling. “Then I accept your amendment.”
Her entire body trembled, so she folded her hands behind her back to hide them.
She nodded and looked down, trying her best to pretend she wasn’t bothered, even though her knees felt like jelly and she really did want to kiss him.
Her gaze caught on the considerable bulge in his trousers.
She thought of the rumor that he had an adornment there in that intimate area.
She couldn’t fathom what that meant, but she’d find out soon.
Her mouth went dry and her eyes darted up to his before she could control her reaction .
He stared back at her, a slight curve to his lips, not even trying to hide his arousal. “I’ve wanted you since the moment I first saw you. Now that you’re almost mine, I find myself out of sorts.”
She swallowed thickly, perfectly aware of how he felt. She’d never admit it, but her own need was reflected in his eyes. “Then you won’t mind one other tiny concession.”
He couldn’t hide his complete surprise that she would make a demand. His jaw dropped and his eyebrows raised.
“I’d like to avoid any sort of…potential embarrassment from now until the wedding.” The first banns had already been read. She’d rather he not be out philandering still and give fuel to the rumors that she’d somehow tricked him into marriage.
Clarity dawned on his face. “You want me to be celibate until our marriage?”
“It’s only two weeks.”
Panic flared in his eyes and she knew he was debating his answer. If he refused, then she’d refuse his only request. After a moment of silence where she could practically hear the wheels churning in his head, he nodded. “All right. But know that the lapse shall only make me more feral.”
“I trust you’ll be a gentleman.”
He stared at her and then inclined his head. “Of course.”
“Good evening, Lord David. I should get back to the guests.” With that, she swept by him, legs trembling.