Chapter Sixteen #2
“You stayed with that bastard?” She leaned forward, her pain shifting to anger.
“No.” I leaned forward to hold her stare. “I flew away, but then I realized that I would never be truly free until he was dead.”
“Did you kill him?” she whispered.
“I went back to kill him, but I wasn't strong enough. He beat me. Nearly killed me. Broke my wing.” I motioned to the silver brace. “But then he made the mistake of taking me with him to confront the man who had freed me. That man helped me kill my captor.”
“He did?”
“Yes. He gave me vengeance, but it didn't heal me.
Even with Bara dead, his poison lives on inside me.
I swung between hating my appearance and craving the validation it gave me.
I saw my looks as a threat or a tool. Neither was true.
Nor was the unworthiness I felt. His sin isn't mine, but it felt like it was.
Still does sometimes. Bara thrust that sin into me with his flesh every day.
It takes time to expel that kind of poison.
It takes help. For me, it took another brave man.
His patience, kindness, and honesty showed me that I was more than Bara's sin.
I wasn't the filth that had been heaped upon me. One man gave me vengeance, another gave me back myself, but I had to become strong enough to accept them both.” I looked up at the sky so she could process what I said without the weight of my stare.
“You will heal too. It will happen in steps.
You'll feel fear, then fury. You'll want to kill and then hide. But you must keep trying, keep reaching for the better feelings.”
“What do you mean?”
I looked back at her. “Fury is better than fear.
If that's all you can attain, hold on to it.
But what comes after fury is not good for your soul.
You'll try to justify what happened to you.
You'll search for reasons where there are none. I want to save you from that pain. So, try to accept what I say now—there is no reason for evil. It simply is. All we can do is grow stronger from having survived it. So when that justifying comes, reject it. Do not accept that you had a part in this. If you do, you will never see yourself as whole again. And you will never trust anyone again. You must trust people. There are good people here. It will be scary, but once you feel that truth again, you will heal.” I held out my hand.
“One touch at a time. You will learn that there is still good in the world, and that you are a part of it .
You are good. This isn't you. It doesn't hold you anymore.”
Tears streaming down her cheeks, she set her hand in mine.
“I'm Eliel.” I shook her hand.
“I'm Tara.”
“It's nice to meet you, Tara.”
“They raped me,” she whispered.
I brought my wings forward to form a wall between us and the others waiting behind the wagon.
Seeing that, she sighed and bent her head. “All six of them. They took their time. Four would hold me down while one took his pleasure. Then they would switch. It went on for hours. I thought they were going to kill me.”
“But they didn't. You're alive. You won.”
She lifted her gaze to mine. “I fought them, but they only laughed. Even when I hurt them. It was nothing to them. They heal so quickly. Not like me.” She huddled in on herself. “They took me in terrible ways. Humiliating ways. All of them watching. Laughing. They laughed as I screamed!”
“They're monsters,” I said. “But that monstrosity is theirs alone. Do you understand?” I took her hand. “You will survive this. You will get stronger because of it. And they will suffer for what they did. I swear it.”
With a shuddering breath, she nodded. “I have survived. I am alive.”
“Yes, you're wounded, but you will heal, Tara.”
“I will heal,” she whispered.
I folded my wings back. “Would you like to come out of the wagon and meet the King?”
“The Dragon King?” she gasped. “He's here?”
“He's the man who helped me accept peace and my strength. He's also the man who just freed you. You can trust him. He's a good king.”
Tara leaned forward and cocked her head to look out of the wagon. And then she gasped and flinched back.
I turned to see King Raventar standing at the end of the wagon bed, his bulk taking up most of the wagon's width. The look on his face was kind, turning deeply affectionate when he fastened his gaze on me. But his stature alone was intimidating. At least he didn't have wings.
“It's all right.” I held up my hands. “Tara, that's King Raventar. He's just here to check on you. Will you be brave for a few minutes? Only a few. And then I will help you into a carriage, and you can rest under a blanket.”
Tara swallowed, her swollen lips parting on rapid breaths.
“He will protect you. That makes his strength good. There stands your shield. He has already chained your captors.”
“They're chained?” Tara looked back at me.
“Yes. They are now prisoners of the Dragon King.”
“I want to see them.”
“All right. I'll go with you.” I stood up and held a hand down to her. “Together?”
Tara nodded and took my hand. I helped her up, but as we approached the back of the wagon, I waved the King back.
He retreated, holding out his arms to keep everyone else away as well.
I jumped down and then held my arms up to Tara.
When she leapt into my arms, I felt another part of me heal.
I was strong. I wasn't a victim anymore. I was a hero.
With an arm and a wing around Tara, I took her to Raven. “King Raventar, this is Tara. I'm going to look after her until we can get her home.”
The Dragon King hunched down to lessen his height and smiled at Tara. “Hello, Tara. I'm so sorry this happened to you. Would you allow me to see you home safe?”
“Home?” Tara looked from him to me.
I knew that look. “You don't have to go home yet. I still haven't. But I will soon.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the King flinch. Glancing at him, I was shocked to see his expression full of terror. Maybe he was worried about Nahel or what had been done to Tara. I couldn't explain it. But I pushed aside my concern for him. She was my priority.
“You can stay with me for now,” I offered. Then I remembered that I didn't have the right to offer that. “If Your Majesty would permit it?” I looked at him again.
The terror was gone, replaced by kindness, though it looked brittle. “Yes, of course. Whatever you wish, Eliel.”
“I want to see them.” Tara lifted her chin. “The Okon men. I want to see them in chains.”
“This way.” The Dragon King led us down the line of wagons, past groups of freed captives who huddled together.
At the front of the caravan, the Okon drivers stood, hands and feet manacled together and wings bound in strips of leather. Three Dragon knights stood guard over them, arms crossed as they glared at the Okons. Six of them, just as Tara had said.
“Do we know where these people were taken from?” The King went to speak with Sir Vanoak, to the side of the prisoners.
“Yes, sire. Most are from—” Vanoak's voice faded into the background for me.
All I heard was Tara's harsh breaths. Her hand trembled in mine.
Her stare was locked on one of the Okon men in particular.
The bastard grinned at her. Chained and facing his victim, the motherfucker grinned!
Fury surged through me. Suddenly, the man wore Bara's face.
All these bastards were the same. Unrepentant.
Evil to their hearts. My gaze slid to the Dragon King.
His lava-glass sword hung on his hip, but there was also a smaller blade in a sheath bound to the outside of his sword's sheath. A dagger.
“One moment, Tara,” I whispered.
“What?” Her eyes went wide. “Don't leave me.”
“I'm just going to have a word with the King. Right there.” I lowered my voice. “Trust me. I'll be back in a few seconds.”
She blinked and then nodded.
I went to the King. Surprise showing in his lifted brow, he turned toward me. His surprise magnified when I slid an arm around his waist.
“Eliel?” King Raventar looked down at me, pausing his conversation with Vanoak to put his arm around my shoulders and pull me close.
“What will you do with them?” I nodded toward the Okon men.
“Question them.” He paused. “Vigorously.”
I nodded. There were six men. The loss of one wouldn't hurt us. My hand slid over his back and then drifted away—to his side. “Will we be moving on soon?”
“Yes. I just need to determine where we're headed. It looks like we'll be veering south. It means a delay in finding Nahel, but these people deserve our protection on their journey home.”
“Yes, they do.” I slipped the dagger free. “Your Majesty, I . . . you are a fine king.”
Raventar searched my eyes, his lips parting slightly. “Thank you, my foundling. We'll talk later, all right?” He lifted my hand and kissed it. “I'm so proud of you.”
We'd see how proud he was in a few minutes.
“Thank you.” Tucking the dagger between my back and my wing, I eased away. “Can Tara ride with us?”
“Yes, of course.” He cupped my cheek. “You did so well with her.”
I smiled at him and then nodded at Vanoak before turning away and returning to Tara. I placed myself between the Dragons and her, stretching my right wing to hide her and the dagger that I handed her.
Tara looked down at the blade. Her hands trembled as she clasped the handle.
“You don't have to do it. I will do it for you if you wish,” I whispered. “Or you can be a better person than me and forgive them.”
Tara's face twitched. “Fuck that!” She set her gaze on the Okons. “And fuck them!”
I gripped her wrist before she moved. “Just one, Tara. We need the rest for information. You only get one, so choose well.”
She bared her teeth at me, transforming into a savage thing in an instant, but she also nodded. I let go and stepped back, stretching both of my wings as wide as they could go, straining past the ache. I would hide her for as long as possible.
Tara paused when she saw that. “Thank you, Eliel.”
“You're welcome. Now, take the first step. Get your vengeance.” I lifted my chin, my fury adding to hers. I knew how important it was to destroy the source of your trauma. She couldn't kill them all, but the rest would be punished by the King. I hoped that would be enough for her.
Tara lifted the dagger and dashed for the smirking Okon.
His eyes went wide, his expression flickering to disbelief when he spotted the weapon in her hand.
He opened his mouth, but he didn't have the time to cry out.
Without any hesitation, Tara slashed his throat.
It was silent for a heartbeat, and then she screamed, rage taking her voice to vicious heights.
The other Okon men jerked back, floundering from their bound ankles.
The sound of rattling chains added to her fury.
Without their wings free to stabilize themselves, many stumbled and knocked into each other, shouting for help.
“What the fuck?!” the Dragon King roared.
But it was too late. The grinning Okon was down, Tara straddling him.
With a feral face and a two-handed grip, she brought the King's dagger down over and over again.
The motions shoved me into the past, and I saw myself as if I had been an observer.
Bara was on the floor, bleeding onto a priceless rug as I stabbed him.
My blade kept rising and falling, all the fear, helplessness, and pain pouring through me and out of the weapon.
This wasn't my vengeance. It was Tara's.
But I would stand with her in it—a witness to her justice.
I would lend my rage to hers. I lifted the tips of my wings in the motion of righteousness, a supplication to the sky, and I opened my mouth to scream with my sister.
Tears flowed down my cheeks, hot on my skin.
The Dragon King went silent. Everyone did. They watched, frozen in place, as everyone had been the night I killed Bara. Within themselves, they knew this was justice, and it was ours. They wouldn't touch it. They couldn't. All they could do was bear witness along with the Gods.
“You filthy bastard!” Tara screamed. “I am not yours!” She continued to stab the dead man.
“I damn you to your gods! May they have no mercy upon you!” With a final stab, she shuddered and stumbled to her feet.
Her pale hair was stained with blood, and it covered her arms, bathing her bruises in victory.
It dripped down the dagger she still held, pooling on the packed earth of the road.
I lowered my wings and strode over to her, feeling a wicked pleasure in the way the other Okons cringed. Stopping a foot from Tara, I said, “Well done.”
Tara turned to me, the dagger falling from her hand at last. “I killed him.”
“Yes, you did. And the King will see to the rest of them.”
She crumpled, and I swept forward to catch her. “Step one is over, Tara. Now you can heal. Leave the filth here with his rotting corpse. It is not yours.”
She met my gaze and nodded. “Thank you, Eliel.”
Suddenly, a cheering rose. It wasn't a normal sound of pleasure but one full of fury and vengeance. It was the sound of a brutal victory. It held blood in it.
Tara and I turned to see the freed people gathered around us, their faces full of satisfaction. They clapped and called out their pride to Tara while we gaped at them.
I had the support of Katai and his crew when I killed Bara, but none of them understood what I'd gone through.
Not truly. This outpouring of support and vicious delight from people who had been chained beside her was intoxicating.
I swayed with Tara as they came forward to surround us, fists shooting into the air in triumph that even the King couldn't give them.
One of their own—the weakest who had been hurt the worst—had taken vengeance for them all, and there was a profound justice in that.
Tara didn't even flinch as the group patted her back and offered their feral approval for her violence.
Outside the circle, I saw the Dragon King staring at me.
He was easy to see, as tall as he was, and so was his anger.
I hoped he'd understand, but it looked as if I would pay the price for Tara's vengeance.
So be it.