Chapter 14
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Two evenings later, Ailis sat beside Marion at the high table and listened to the deliberation from the council.
She had begun to understand that listening was one of the few ways to see Gordon clearly. Considering he spent most of his time avoiding her now, there was no other way for her to.
Nae that I care, she denied to herself. I merely wish to ken why he wants nothin’ to do with me.
She wanted nothing to do with him of course. That had not changed.
Or has it? I daenae ken anymore.
Men gathered around the hall, each with their own opinion on how he ought to handle the raid.
“I shall find the ones responsible for this, and when I do, they will pay for it.”
“We suspect this is Laird Kerr,” one man said as he rose to his feet. Gordon listened, his expression set in stony silence.
“We must send our men and make this right… He burned our village, and we will burn his!”
Some cheered at the suggestion while others grunted. Ailis merely watched to see how Gordon would react.
“We willnae start a war with Laird Kerr,” he said. “Accussin’ him is nae the best plan to protect our people.”
“Ye are the dragon, Me Laird,” another man countered. “The Highland clans fear us… Yer reputation precedes ye. Surely, ye willnae sit back and let Kerr undermine ye?”
“How many men did ye send to the eastern burn?” he asked Malcolm, ignoring the comment from that man.
“Six.”
“Make them eight. We will watch and scout,” he said in a firmer tone that quieted the men.
His men still seemed displeased with that.
Gordon’s expression remained hard. “I am nae desperate for war. I intend to be strategic with Kerr… Needless war only puts our people at risk.”
“Then we retaliate,” another suggested, and several men murmured their agreement.
Ailis watched Gordon carefully, waiting again till he said in a lethal voice, “Me decision is final on this matter.”
Silence followed the echo of his command, and no one dared argue any further after that.
“There are other matters to discuss,” Malcolm eventually pointed out, and they began discussing other clan matters after that.
Marion’s spoke when they began discussing the binding feast, and Ailis listened to it all.
“I shall invite Laird Kerr,” Gordon said when Marion mentioned the list of other lairds invited.
Malcolm’s brows shot upward. “Me Laird, I daenae think that is wise.”
Gordon turned his gaze toward him. “I ken, but it is a risk to see if he is truly behind this. If I invite him, and he is indeed the one responsible, he will gladly come for the bindin’, and then I shall watch his every move.”
“And if he doesnae?” Malcolm asked. “Kerr thinks we are in his debt, Me Laird. He will come believin’ ye intend to pay, and he isnae rumored to be peaceful.”
“It will be unwise to trust Kerr at this point,” one of the councilmen spoke up. “But it isnae futile to try for peace. War benefits no one… nae Kerr nor us.”
“Thank ye,” Gordon said to the man who nodded in return.
The rest of the deliberations continued more amicably between the men, and when it was finally over, Gordon strode out of the hall first, barely sparing her a glance before the other dispersed.
Ailis walked beside Marion as they left the grand hall, too, and finally asked. “Who is Kerr?”
Marion did not answer immediately.
That alone made Ailis more curious.
“And why,” Ailis continued, “does he think Gordon owes him a debt?”
Marion’s mouth tightened. Her usually warm expression had gone grim, her eyes fixed ahead as they crossed the corridor. “That is somethin’ ye should ask Gordon.”
Ailis frowned. “I am askin’ ye.”
“And I am tellin’ ye that ye should hear it from him.”
“Ye ken, then, what the debt is about?”
“I ken enough,” Marion said again, still not giving any answers. “Kerr is nae a man to be taken lightly. There are things between him and Gordon that began long before ye came here. He was a friend of me late husband, Gordon’s uncle…”
Ailis studied her now, realizing this was a much more serious matter.
“Is Gordon in danger?”
Marion hesitated. That frightened her more than an answer would have.
“Speak with him,” Marion said again. “Let him tell ye what happened.”
Ailis glanced toward the path leading to Gordon’s study. “I shall.”
Then Marion turned down another passage, leaving Ailis alone. Ailis watched her go then turned toward the corridor leading to his study.
She had taken only a few steps when hurried footsteps sounded behind her.
“Ma’am!”
She turned and saw Lileas rushing around the corner, skirts gathered in one hand. Behind her came Jane. The little girl raced along the corridor with Brochan tucked beneath one arm, her dark curls bouncing wildly as she tried to outrun the maid.
“Lileas,” Jane called. “Stop runnin’!”
The child’s eyes found Ailis and her entire face brightened.
“Miss Ailis!” she called again.
Ailis dropped into a squat at once, and Lileas ran straight into her arms.
Ailis caught her around the middle and laughed as the little girl buried her face against her shoulder. “There ye are, wee troublemaker.”
“I wasnae doing anythin’.”
“Of course, ye were nae.”
Ailis ruffled her curls as Lileas giggled.
Jane arrived moments later, breathless. “Ma’am, forgive her. She slipped away before I could catch her.”
Lileas peeked up at Ailis. “Jane wants to take Brochan.”
Her eyes dropped to the hedgehog. “Does she now?”
“Aye.”
Ailis held out her hand. “Come here, Brochan.”
The hedgehog wriggled when she took him then slowly settled in her palm. Ailis stroked one finger carefully along his little back.
Lileas watched with delight. “He likes ye.”
“He has excellent judgment.”
Jane cleared her throat again. “Ma’am, the wee creature belongs in his basket. And Lileas ought to be helpin’ me with the linens.”
Ailis glanced at the child, but Lileas’ smile disappeared. “Leave her with me.”
Jane hesitated, but her expression softened.
“Just for a little while,” Ailis added. “She willnae bother ye while ye work.”
“Aye, Ma’am.”
Lileas beamed, and Ailis handed Brochan back to her.
“Come then. Let us go to the garden.”
“To play?”
“Aye.”
“With Brochan?”
“Especially with Brochan.”
Lileas nodded so enthusiastically her curls bounced.
Ailis rose, took her little hand, and turned toward the garden passage. Then she saw Gordon striding down the opposite corridor with Malcolm and two guards behind him.
He wore his dark plaid over one shoulder, his face set in that familiar expression of cold purpose. He was already heading toward the keep entrance, his attention fixed ahead.
Ailis stopped.
For the smallest moment, she waited.
Surely, he will see me.
He had to. They were less than twenty paces apart.
Her fingers tightened around Lileas’ hand as she waited, but he kept walking without a glance her way as he passed.
Her heart sank even though she knew he might not have ignored her on purpose.
She could not understand why she kept longing for him.
Gordon sat alone in his study, trying to make sense of the estate accounts by the dying fire when a light knock sounded at the door.
“Aye?”
The door opened, and Ailis stepped inside.
For a moment, he forgot the figures before him.
She seemed different tonight. There was no bright mischief in her expression, no challenge lurking behind those blue eyes. She stood just inside the doorway, her hands clasped before her, uncertain enough that the sight unsettled him.
Candlelight touched the loose strands of her light brown hair and softened the freckles scattered across her cheeks. She wore a dark blue gown, simple enough for the hour, and the color made her eyes look almost impossibly bright.
Gordon’s attention briefly caught on her mouth then he forced it away.
“What is it?” he asked.
Ailis stepped farther into the chamber. “Is everythin’ all right?”
“Aye.”
She hesitated. Then, in a manner that was almost startlingly direct, she said, “What is it about Laird Kerr?”
Gordon leaned back in his chair. “Kerr?”
She nodded. “I asked Marion, but she thought I should come to ye.”
He sighed quietly and rubbed a hand over his jaw. He should have known that she would one day question this.
Ailis deserved the truth. Whatever else lay between them, she was being brought into the middle of something she had never chosen and had every right to understand.
“Sorcha was promised to Kerr before she had to step in to marry Rowan,” he said.
Gordon watched her fingers tighten together.
“And then Kerr thought it only fair that ye should have been given to him instead.”
Her eyes lifted sharply. “Me?”
“Aye.”
She gave a small, incredulous laugh. “But I was promised to Rowan.”
“Ye were,” he agreed with a nod.
“And Sorcha married him.”
“Aye.”
Ailis’ brows drew together. “Then why would Kerr think I belonged to him?”
“Because men do nae always reason from what is fair,” Gordon said. “Kerr believed the alliance between our families had been broken when Sorcha married Rowan. He wanted another marriage to settle the insult.”
Ailis’ expression changed. Understanding began to settle over her face.
“And that marriage was meant to be me.”
Gordon nodded.
“Yer brother and mine came to a different arrangement.”
Ailis’ mouth twitched faintly. “They chose ye.”
“They did.”
She looked away toward the fire. The flames had almost gone out, leaving only a red glow beneath the blackened logs.
“And now, Kerr is angry because he did nae get me?”
“It is more than anger.”
Ailis turned back to him, and Gordon held her gaze.
“Men have gone to war over less than a broken betrothal, lass.”
The last of the amusement left her face.
“Kerr would truly do that?”
“He has spent years nursin’ the grievance.”
Gordon could see the question forming before she spoke it. “How dangerous is he?”
“Dangerous enough that I would nae have ye walkin’ beyond these walls alone. He attacked the village to send a message. He kens ye are here, and now, I must have me men watchin’ every corner and ye at all times.”
Color slowly drained from her cheeks.
“Kerr has nearly two hundred men who owe him loyalty,” Gordon said quietly. “And he has lands borderin’ ours. He kens the roads. He kens our weaknesses. A raid is one thing. A war would be another.”
Ailis’ breath seemed to catch. Gordon watched the fear move through her.
It was not the fear she showed when she was angry. This was quieter. It settled into her eyes, made her shoulders draw back, and made her look suddenly younger than the woman who could stand before him and challenge every decision he made.
He hated seeing it. More than that, he hated knowing he had brought her into the middle of it.
He rose. Ailis looked up as he came toward her.
He intended only to reassure her. Nothing more.
He told himself that as he crossed the space between them.
“Nay matter our differences, lass,” he said, “ken this. I will protect ye.” His voice was steady. There was no doubt in it because he meant every word.
Then his hand settled at her waist, and he did not think before doing it. The touch was instinctive, an attempt to anchor her when he felt the tension running through her.
The instant his palm met her through the gown, Gordon knew his mistake. Heat coiled low in his stomach, sharp and immediate.
Ailis went very still as Gordon looked down at her and found her staring up at him.
Those blue eyes were wide, no longer frightened of Kerr. They were fixed upon him. And that look was far more dangerous.
Her lips parted slightly. Gordon’s fingers tightened for the smallest fraction of a second before he forced them to release her.
He stepped back.
The cold air between them felt like punishment.
Ailis did not move, and neither did he.
The study had suddenly become too warm despite the dying fire.
Gordon could hear her breathing and his own filling the silence. He could not let himself get carried away, so he turned away from her.
“If that is all,” he said roughly, forcing the old hardness back into his voice, “ye should return to yer chamber.”
Ailis did not answer immediately.
Gordon kept his eyes on the fire.
He felt her gaze upon his back, but she said nothing, and he held his breath until he heard his study door close after her.