Chapter 29 #2
She gathered the reins, placed one foot in the stirrup and pulled herself into the saddle. For one glorious heartbeat, she felt triumphant just from climbing the mount. Then the mare heard a noise outside and shifted sharply beneath her.
Ailis’s heart lurched hard when the mare shied to the side. The movement caused her grip on the reins to slip.
“Easy—” she cried out.
The mare sidestepped again. This time, her balance went with it.
“Ahh!”
Her eyes closed as the scream tore from her, terror riding through the little confidence she had mustered. She felt her body leave the saddle and clenched her jaw, expecting the pain she knew would come next.
Instead, strong arms caught her around the waist. Her body struck against a solid chest rather than the hard-packed ground.
Gordon hauled her away from the horse in one swift movement.
“Bloody hell, Ailis!” His voice shook with anger.
Ailis stared at him, breathless as he set her on the ground.
His face was red all over, his eyes narrow and fixed on hers as his breathing raged with his fury. His hair had fallen loose around his face, and his chest rose sharply beneath his shirt as he looked her over.
He dragged a steadying breath in the next second and asked, “Are ye hurt?”
“Nay,” she muttered, still too stunned to speak up.
“Did ye strike yer head?”
“Nay.”
“Yer neck?”
“Nay.”
His hands were still around her waist.
Neither of them seemed to notice then Gordon’s expression hardened again, and his brows tightened in his frown. “Heavens woman, ye are too careless with yer own life. Do I always have to worry for ye? And fear that ye would get hurt? What would I have done if ye—”
He stopped, his jaw tightening instead of the rest of his words coming out. Ailis watched him struggle with whatever he had nearly said.
“What if I what?” she croaked, her heart hammering too fast because the hard planes of his body were pressed into hers.
“It is nothin’,” he said and released her quickly.
“It is nae nothin’. Ye were about to say somethin’.”
“I was about to say ye have the sense of a reckless bairn.”
Ailis’ temper flared. “Daenae insult me,” she fired back at him.
“And ye nearly broke yer neck.”
“I was tryin’ to learn!”
“Tryin’ is nae enough when ye fall from a horse.”
She pulled away from him. “I daenae remember askin’ ye to save me.”
His brows lifted, and he scoffed. “Then I should leave ye to yer death?”
“Aye!” she yelled.
“Well, I cannae do that.”
“Why nae? It isnae as if ye care for me. Ye have made it abundantly clear that ye daenae care what I do or if I stay here, Me Laird. All ye care for… All ye have cared for is yer clan and yer duty. I daenae ken why ye came here, but whatever it is that made ye come, ye might as well…”
“I was goin’ for a ride meself, and I saw ye here,” he blurted out, interrupting her ramble before she could finish.
She stared at him, her breath slowing. “Then ye should have ignored me.”
“I couldnae do that.”
“Why nae? Ye have nay problem ignorin’ me all the time. Dinnae act like ye care now.”
He took the reins from her hands, and his fingers brushed hers softly. “I will teach ye how to ride.”
“What?” Shock made the question croak out of her.
“I will teach ye,” he repeated, as if the words did not already confuse her enough, “if ye will let me.”
His words softened her, but she did not let them completely. “I daenae need ye,” she countered.
“I ken ye daenae, but I cannae watch ye break yer neck tryin’, so please… let me teach ye.”
Gordon’s expression softened by the smallest fraction when he pleaded, and it made her swallow. That quiver in his eye was one she rarely saw.
“Yer hands are shakin’,” he commented, and she looked down at her hands.
Gordon sighed and moved closer to her. “Ridin’ a horse requires ye to be in control at all times.
Fear willnae let ye control the horse. Ye need to overcome that.
Stay still, take a steady breath and remember, the horse only follows yer lead. ”
She said nothing as he guided the reins back into her hands and said, “Hold them tight and keep yer back straight when ye mount.”
“What if she moves and tries to throw me off like earlier?”
“Ye stay steady still and hold the reins tight. Whatever happens, never let go of the reins.”
She climbed back into the saddle, and Gordon stood beside her as she held the reins tight and straightened her back.
“Now breathe.”
Ailis inhaled.
“Again.”
“Good. Keep yer shoulders loose.”
She tried.
“Look ahead, not down.”
Her gaze lifted.
“Good.”
His hand rested briefly against the mare’s neck. “She trusts ye if ye give her reason to.”
Ailis swallowed. “I daenae think she does.”
“She does. And ye must trust her to follow yer lead.”
“How do I do that?”
“By stayin’ calm.” He nodded slowly as he looked at her, the quiet certainty in his voice making her chest tighten.
Ailis looked away before the sensations coursing through her became overwhelming.
“Now, move her forward.”
Ailis nudged the mare, and the animal took one step then another. Her breath caught as she continued walking forward.
The mare walked calmly across the yard, and Ailis’ fear loosened as she turned; then, slowly, she urged the horse into a trot.
The movement startled her at first, but she adjusted.
A laugh burst from her before she could stop it.
“Gordon! I am doin’ it,” she squealed. “I am ridin’!”
The sternness on his face vanished as she turned to head back to him again. For one unguarded moment, pride warmed his eyes.
“Aye,” he called back. “Ye are.”
When she reached him, Gordon said. “Enough for today.”
Ailis laughed breathlessly. “I want to do it again.”
“Tomorrow.”
“Why tomorrow?”
“Because I would prefer ye to survive yer first lesson.”
He caught the reins and helped her ease down from the saddle. Her hand rested on his shoulder as he lowered her.
But when her feet touched the ground, she stumbled slightly. Gordon caught her, and his arms closed around her waist.
For a moment, neither moved. Ailis could still feel the rush of the ride racing through her veins. Her heart was pounding, and Gordon was so close; his hands were firm at her waist. Her palms rested against his chest as she looked up to find him looking at her.
The world seemed to narrow around them.
The stable disappeared, the horses, the sounds outside… everything.
There was only Gordon and her. His eyes dropped to her mouth, and she shivered, thinking he would lower his lips to hers.
She wanted him to. Her heart soared when he finally leaned closer. Their lips met for one aching, sweet second then Gordon recoiled as though he had been burned.
“Nay.” He stepped away, dragging a hand through his hair. “I cannae.”
Ailis stared at him, blinking back to reality. “Why?”
He shook his head. “Because I shouldnae.”
“Is it because ye think I daenae want ye?” His head snapped toward her as she added, “Because I do. I do want ye, Gordon.”
His face tightened. “Ye daenae ken what ye are sayin’. I dinnae deserve ye.”
“I do.” Ailis stepped closer. “I saw yer paintings, Gordon. All those paintings of me… They were bonnie. Ye cannae tell me ye feel nothin’.”
“Ye daenae understand, Ailis. I have to protect ye!” The force of his voice startled her.
“From what?”
“From me! I am tryin’ to protect ye from me…”
He stared at her after blurting the words, his chest rose sharply, and his hands curled into fists at his side. Ailis’ breath left her. The anger in his face was gone now.
“I cannae do this,” he said in a lower tone that delivered the blow of his words right to her gut. “It is best ye come to terms with that, Ma’am.”
He stormed out of the stables without another word, and the sinking despair that filled Ailis blinded her with tears.