Chapter 32
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
Gordon kept his arms around Ailis until the trembling in her body began to ease.
He could still scarcely believe she was there. He inhaled her scent deeply, letting it comfort him. His hand cradled the back of her head, and he closed his eyes, savoring her warmth and banishing every guilty thought that crossed his mind.
The image of her kneeling before Kerr, blood running from her palm, would stay with him for the rest of his life. He had imagined a hundred different horrors during the ride to Kerr’s castle, but none had prepared him for the sight of her frightened face.
He loosened his hold only enough to look at her. Her cheeks were wet with tears. A smear of dirt marked one side of her face, and her hair had come loose from its pins. She looked exhausted and frightened, yet there was something in her eyes that nearly brought him to his knees.
She was looking at him as though he had saved more than her life.
Behind them, Rowan cleared his throat.
Gordon glanced over his shoulder.
“What do ye need me help with?”
“Secure the castle,” he answered, his voice settling into the authority he had used all his life. “Search every chamber and every passage. Anyone who resists is to be disarmed and taken into custody too just like Kerr.”
Rowan nodded. “And the priest?”
“Unharmed,” Gordon said. “See that he is given a horse and escorted safely from the castle once it is secured.”
“Aye.” Rowan gave a curt nod and walked away with his men.
The hall erupted into motion.
The few men they came with crossed the chamber, gathering weapons and securing doors. The priest hurried toward the rear of the hall, still looking as though he could scarcely comprehend what had happened.
Gordon barely noticed.
His attention returned to Ailis. She had not moved from his side, and when she looked at him again, tears filled her eyes.
“Why?” The word was so soft he almost missed it.
Gordon swallowed.
“Ailis—”
“Why did ye come for me?” She looked up at him, tears gathering afresh in her eyes. “Why risk everythin’?” Her voice trembled. “Why ride through the night? Why fight for me if ye daenae even want me?”
Gordon’s chest tightened.
“Ye said yer daenae want our marriage,” she whispered. “Ye let me go.”
He closed his eyes briefly.
He had no defense against that. He had spent so long believing that releasing her was the right thing that he had never stopped to consider what his decision had done to her.
Or what it had done to him.
When he opened his eyes again, he looked directly at her. There was no use fighting his feelings now. He was done with all that.
“I came for ye because I love ye.”
Ailis gasped at his words. The sound was so soft, yet it seemed to echo through him.
Gordon forced himself to continue before fear could silence him again.
“I have loved ye far longer than I wanted to admit.” His voice roughened. “I fought it every day because I daenae believe in happy endings. Nae for men like me.”
Ailis stared at him.
“I thought I would ruin yer life. I thought ye would wake one mornin’ and finally see what me uncle made of me. I thought ye would look at me and see nothin’ but the monster everyone else feared.”
He shook his head. “But I was wrong.” His fingers curled around hers. “I was wrong about ye. I was wrong about me. And I was wrong to think lovin’ ye meant I had to send ye away.”
Ailis’ lips trembled, and her eyes searched his now.
“I need ye, Ailis,” he whispered. “I need ye here. With me. Laughin’ with me.
Fillin’ me halls with yer bloody flowers and paintings.
Makin’ Lileas smile. Makin’ me wonder why I ever thought stone walls were meant to stay cold.
” Gordon’s own voice broke as he repeated the words true to his heart. “I need ye, Ailis.”
He stepped closer, lifted a shaky hand, and stroked it down the side of her face. “I want ye to be me wife if ye will still have me.”
Ailis stared at him for several heartbeats. Then she stepped even closer to him. Tears gathered in her eyes again, but there was no fear in them now.
“I never feared marriage,” she admitted. “I feared disappearing inside it.” Her fingers tightened around his. “I feared losin’ meself. I feared becomin’ someone’s possession.”
She looked down at their joined hands.
“I have spent so much of me life bein’ told what I must do and where I must go. I thought marriage would simply be another cage. But somewhere along the way, Gordon…” A smile trembled across her lips. “… ye stopped bein’ the cage I feared.”
His breath caught. “Ye became me home. When I said I willnae run, I meant it.” Her smile widened through her tears. “Because I love ye too.”
A laugh escaped him. It was weak and disbelieving, almost broken by the emotion lodged in his throat.
“Ye love me?” The shaky words made her press even closer to him then he inhaled when her right hand moved over the side of his face, her touch gentle.
“I love ye,” she repeated with an even wider smile.
He shook his head, unable to keep the smile from his face, then he pulled her into his arms.
Ailis wrapped herself around him, and Gordon held her with a desperation that would have embarrassed him had anyone else been watching.
But he did not care. He had spent too much time denying himself what he really wanted.
He buried his face against her hair and breathed her in. His arms tightened when she lifted her face. Their eyes met with no uncertainty, and Gordon lowered his head to kiss her.
His lips closed over hers slowly, and he savored her taste, allowing the rage of sensations to sweep through him and take over.
Ailis’ hands rose to his shoulders, and she melted against him as his hand cradled the back of her head. Her mouth parted for his, and she let out a soft moan, and the sound echoed through him, making him shiver with pleasure.
When they finally parted, their foreheads remained together.
Gordon closed his eyes and breathed her in deeply again.
For the first time since they met, a life with her did not frighten him. A life without her was what he realized he could no longer endure.
He reached for her hand again, smiling as his rough fingers closed gently around hers, careful of the small cut across her palm. He lifted her hand to his lips, and his kiss lingered against her knuckles.
Ailis’ eyes softened.
Gordon lowered their joined hands but did not release her.
“Ye’re safe now,” he whispered. “Kerr will remain me prisoner and his people will appoint a new laird. He willnae try to hurt ye ever again. I promise.”
He stepped closer until their foreheads touched.
“Now and forever.”
The day of the bindin’…
Gordon had imagined the binding ceremony a hundred different ways over the last few days since they returned.
Before now, he had never once imagined himself standing beneath a young rowan tree with a woman’s hand held tightly in his own, surrounded by laughter, music, and more people than he could name, while feeling as though the whole of his life had finally fallen into its proper place.
But this is me life now, and I am happy.
The rowan tree stood at the edge of the gardens, its young branches moving gently in the evening breeze.
Gordon looked down at their fingers. Ailis’ hand was small against his, warm and soft, her fingers curling naturally between his as though they had always belonged there.
The thought brought a smile to his face.
Me wife.
The words still felt strange.
Not because he disliked them. Because he loved them more than he knew how to express.
The priest stood before them, speaking the ancient words of the binding, but Gordon found himself listening only in fragments. He heard the vows. He heard the blessing. He heard the murmur of their families gathered around them.
Yet what held his attention was Ailis.
She stood beside him in the dress Harriet had made, her hair adorned with small flowers and her eyes shining beneath the lantern light.
There was color in her cheeks, and every time she looked at him, something inside his chest tightened with a happiness so unfamiliar that he still did not quite know what to do with it.
He had spent most of his life believing happiness was something meant for other men.
Men who had nae been raised by a cruel uncle. Men who had nae learned to survive by expectin’ the worst… Who did nae wake each mornin’ believin’ that whatever they loved would eventually be taken from them.
Yet here he stood.
When the priest finally asked them to offer their hands, Gordon turned his palm upward, and Ailis placed hers within it.
Their fingers intertwined.
The young rowan tree stood behind them as the binding cloth was wrapped around their joined hands.
Gordon looked at the knot, and his insides settled.
He lifted his eyes and found Ailis watching him. Her smile trembled slightly as Gordon squeezed her hand.
“I love ye,” he murmured so quietly that only she could hear.
Her eyes glistened. “I love ye, too.”
Behind them, Sorcha made a small sound. Gordon glanced over and found his sister wiping tears from her cheeks while Rowan stood beside her, looking equally pleased. Sorcha turned to Callan next, and the moment he caught her looking, he pointed accusingly at her.
“Daenae start.”
Sorcha laughed. “I have said nothin’.”
“Ye are thinkin’ it.”
Rowan clapped a hand upon Callan’s shoulder. “But she is right, brother-in-law. Ye ken what comes next. Ye should find yerself a bride, too.”
Callan groaned. “Absolutely nae.”
Laughter rippled through everyone gathered.
Gordon shook his head, unable to suppress his own grin. Ailis laughed beside him, and the sound struck him with the same warmth it always had.
He had missed that laughter when she was gone.
Now, it belonged in his halls, and he wanted to hear it when they were old and gray, when their children were grown, when the rowan tree behind them had become tall enough to cast shade over the garden.
He wanted all of it.
Lileas came racing across the grass before anyone could stop her, her ribbons flying behind her as she twirled beneath the lanterns. This time, Maria, the girl rescued from the raiders who was fully strong now, was with her.
“Ailis!”
Ailis laughed and bent to catch Lileas then she smiled at Maria and stroked a hand over her hair tenderly.
“Lileas, Maria, ye shall ruin yer dresses if ye keep runnin’ through the grass.”
“But we are celebratin’!” the girls chorused.
“Aye, ye are.”
Brochan waddled determinedly after her, his tiny feet carrying him through the grass while a little boy from the Sinclair party crouched down to watch him.
“Look!” Lileas cried. “Brochan is dancin’ too!”
The hedgehog promptly disappeared beneath a bush.
Everyone laughed.
Even Gordon.
Marion stood near the table of food, watching the scene with such contentment that Gordon felt another quiet gratitude settle over him. Jane stood beside her, holding a cup in one hand and wiping away tears from the corner of her eye with the other.
“Look at them,” Jane whispered. “I have never seen the Laird look so happy.”
Gordon heard her and pretended he had not. Ailis heard her too; he could tell from how she smiled.
Her cheeks colored. “Ye are all watchin’ us.”
Marion raised her cup. “Aye. We have been waitin’ for this moment.”
Gordon looked around the garden. The castle seemed different tonight.
Or perhaps it’s me who is different.
Lanterns flickered among the trees, their golden light catching on the faces of family and friends. Music drifted across the grass, lively and warm, while tables overflowed with food and drink. Children darted between adults, servants laughed together, and voices rose in celebration.
For years, Gordon had looked at MacLaren Castle and seen stone.
A place that needed guarding.
Tonight, I see a home.
Ailis had done that. She had walked into his life with her paintings, flowers, and stubborn determination, and somehow, she had convinced him that the walls did not need to stay cold just because he had grown accustomed to them that way.
He turned toward her and extended a hand. “Dance with me.”
Ailis blinked. “Ye dance now?”
Gordon smiled. “Apparently, I do many things now.”
She laughed and placed her hand in his.
Gordon drew her gently into his arms, one hand settling at her waist while the other held hers. The musicians changed the tune, and the people around them shifted aside to make room.
He moved carefully, and Ailis followed. For several steps, everything went perfectly.
Then Gordon missed a step.
Ailis stared at him; he looked down at his feet, then back at her.
She burst into laughter. “I thought ye said ye could dance.”
“I said, apparently, I do many things. I daenae claim I do them well.”
Her laughter grew brighter. Gordon found himself laughing too.
The sound felt strange coming from him yet not unpleasant.
Ailis’ eyes shone as she looked up at him. “Ye are happy.”
He stopped for half a heartbeat. The music continued around them. People moved and laughed, the lanterns flickered overhead, but Gordon heard only her.
“Aye,” he said. There was no hesitation this time. “I am.”
Her expression softened. “Truly?”
He brushed his thumb over her knuckles. “Truly.”
He had never thought happiness would feel like this.
It was not some great triumph in battle or wealth or power. It was the feeling of her hand in his and her laughter against his chest. It was the knowledge that when he woke tomorrow, she would still be there. She would still be his wife.
She will still be me heart and me home.
Her head rested against his chest again, and he finally understood that this was not the end of their story. It was the beginning.
And for the first time in his life, Gordon was not afraid of what came next.
He was looking forward to it.