28. Bastian
Bastian
“Celia Kennedy is pregnant,” Orsen announced as he threw himself onto the couch next to me, interrupting my carefully crafted silence. Still, I had to admit that was news.
“Really?” I turned to him with my brows raised. It had been so long since one of our horde members had gotten pregnant.
Orsen nodded, the corners of his mouth tugging down. “I know you don’t want to talk about Rowan right now, given how damn moody you are, but… she’s doing a damn good thing here.”
I looked back at the TV. I didn’t particularly want to talk about our mate. That was, unfortunately, a keen observation. But my dragon and I had made an ass out of ourselves, and I wasn’t looking to dwell on that a moment longer than I had to.
Sure, the stupid fucker was attached to our mate, understandably so, but when he took the reins, the asshole was a little… overzealous. To put it mildly. And I still had my reservations.
Many of them.
Rowan was going to think I was a fucking lapdog, at this rate, and that shit would not fly.
Shifters were usually one with their animal; the dragon and the human side on the same page.
They had the same desires and the same wants, but for the first time in my life, my dragon and I were at odds.
It didn’t feel particularly good. Even the brief mention of her had the two of us growling at each other.
Which was probably why the fucker had taken over while I had been slightly inebriated.
“Yeah, well… Even I can’t deny that’s amazing news,” I admitted, exhaling slowly. “Are we sure it’s Rowan who caused it, though? It could just be a natural pregnancy.”
My clanmate eyed me hard, raising his brows.
“It is a natural pregnancy, and that’s the point.
Rowan got all the women in the horde off those shady fertility drugs that actually made everyone infertile, and there’s already a pregnancy.
When are you going to open your eyes and understand that she’s the best possible thing that could happen to this horde right now? ”
I swallowed, my stare sinking to the gap between us as I whispered, “Rowan is the best possible thing that could happen to this horde at any time.”
“Care to repeat that?” Orsen shot me a look, scoffing. “I think I might be hallucinating.”
I glowered at him, clenching my jaw so I didn’t punch him. “No. You heard me.”
I couldn’t deny the truth. Our pack was getting healthier. Everyone seemed happier and complained less about various ailments. Fewer dragons were laid up with basic illnesses, and the energy itself had shifted.
Until the last few weeks, we had chalked up all the illnesses to horde weakness, but now it was impossible to deny it had everything to do with a shitty healer who was abusing our dragons.
“Do you think our horde can be as strong as it was a few decades ago?” I asked before I could stop myself, the nagging urge to know so overpowering.
That kind of strength… it said something. It said something about the Alphas running things, about me.
Orsen shrugged. “With Rowan here? Sure, I think it’s more than possible. We need to convince her to stay if that’s going to happen, though.”
“Isn’t she staying, anyway?” I silently cursed the hint of panic in my voice.
“She’s only said she’ll stay until the horde is better. After that…”
“But you guys…” I trailed off. It had been hard to miss how she and my clanmates had been “getting along” recently.
I hadn’t missed the way she carried their scents, nor the passing conversations between the three of them, which decidedly did not include me.
I would have thought, with their relationships improving, Rowan wouldn’t want to leave.
“It doesn’t matter how our relationship is going.” Orsen glared pointedly, his eyes seeing right through me. “You and Rowan are still at odds.”
“I’m not at odds with her,” I bit out defensively. “We just… We don’t interact much. It’s not a big deal.”
Orsen scoffed. “Bullshit. You’ve been avoiding her for days since your little shifting stunt, weeks if we count the time since her arrival.”
“Because my dragon acted like a fucking puppy dog,” I hissed in a low whisper. “And before… It’s just… Nothing.”
Rolling his eyes, Orsen draped an arm over the back of the couch. “Okay, maybe that wasn’t your proudest moment, but Rowan thought it was cute. Did you see the way she scratched your ears?”
My face heated, and a growl slipped free. I wasn’t going to admit how much I’d liked that.
I looked away, voice quiet. “I just… can’t.”
“Bastian, we will figure out who hurt her. Mark my words, if it’s the last thing I fucking do. We’re going to keep her safe,” he promised. “And you need to let the past go. Things will never be the same. There’s something to build here, though.”
“I wish I had your confidence.” I sighed.
“She’s not going to stick around if you’re not at least friendly to her,” he pointed out.
“You sure have been plenty friendly with her. Her scent is all fucking over you.”
He shoved me, knocking me into the arm of the couch. “That’s me, asshole. Would you want to stay in a clan where one of your mates hates you?”
I didn’t hate Rowan. Not at all. In fact, my feelings for her were quite the opposite. Even when it felt like my entire world was crashing down on me, seeing her made the tightness in my chest ease. Ever since I’d admitted that to Orsen, I’d been unable to deny it, even to myself.
My delusion of indifference had been well and truly shattered.
Goddamn it.
And now I had to admit that she was making the lives of our entire horde better. A pregnancy. We’d wanted one of those for so goddamn long and had been thinking our horde was circling the drain.
But she’d fixed it. Because she was damn good at her job.
I sank into the couch, moping. “I don’t hate her.”
Orsen shrugged, standing from the sofa. “It’s not me you have to convince, Bastian. Also, you can take guard duty tomorrow. Griffin has things to get done, and he could use the break.”
He left as quickly as he’d entered, leaving me alone with my turbulent thoughts.
The TV was still playing, but I had no desire to watch it now.
This was a lot, and worse, I knew Orsen was right.
That sucked. The ass would never let me hear the end of it when he’d finally gotten the words out of me.
I was really running out of options, wasn’t I?
“Fuck.”