Chapter 24
I
f she knew all of who he was, he would have immediately taken them to the highest tree and kissed her until their lips were numbed, and even then, he would have fought to keep going.
The force that drew him to lean in and kiss her was something he’d never experienced, and no amount of strength he had could stop him.
It was as though someone was placing small cuts throughout his body when he stopped.
The universe telling him that he was making a mistake by not just going for it.
He felt her need and that it was just as strong as his was.
It didn’t make it right, and he should have been able to restrain himself.
He never wanted to put her into a situation where she would be brought back to the moment with Goddrick.
Fear that even kissing her would bring her mind back to the darkness should be enough to keep him away, but the pull was far too much.
His soul finally knew what it was like to be touched by hers, and there would be no going back. The only way he could think of, was to forcefully separate himself from her, try to get himself back in check, and then return with a stronger resolve.
That, however, was never going to happen. He would never be further from her than what was absolutely necessary. He would find the strength to pull away, even if she would make it impossible to do so.
When they arrived deep within the village earlier that day, everyone immediately surrounded them. Thankfully Akua, while still weary of being much better than his sister, was there with a voice of reason—explaining in brief words what had transpired at the port.
He shared their story, explaining that their people had no chief, leader, or king; instead, they were guided by the spirits.
After a brief, spiritual interaction with Azahara, the people welcomed the group into their homes.
It wasn’t surprising at all; they warmed up to the redhead almost immediately.
The kids were drawn to her, the elderly bowed to her as was their custom, and the teens gathered around her in awe.
Although she despised the attention and had the urge to flee, she managed to keep her composure in those moments.
Again, her strength was something he envied beyond all else.
They were offered a place to stay, and he felt grateful that the grouping of pods hanging from the trees allowed everyone from the crew to be connected.
If anything were to happen, they would all be within running distance of each other.
Azahara shared the same sentiment, and her joy matched his own.
When they offered one for each of them, he looked to Azahara, not wanting to overstep her boundaries. Even if he had been in her bed every night since the incident, he never wanted to assume.
She looked at him like he was crazy for thinking anything else and later whispered, “Why would you assume otherwise?” It made him laugh, and thinking about it now, had him chuckling once more.
It was clearly past bedtime, but Azahara had requested some time with Carmen, and Jayce couldn’t have been prouder. The two of them sat in a cozy canopy designed for lighting a fire and relaxing around it. Xol and some other crew members tried to join, but Carmen promptly turned them away.
He didn’t eavesdrop on their conversation but watched them intently, ready to go to her if she needed. Emotions ranged from laughter to tears, from anger to joy. Whenever something brought her to tears, Carmen was right there, offering her hand if she wanted to take it.
Whenever she mentioned Goddrick, he could sense it.
Her soul seemed to crumble and scream for help, as if terrified of returning to a cage.
It became evident that Goddrick had somehow ensnared her soul, locking it away, and he couldn’t help but wonder if that was the reason the god had been able to remain so connected to her.
His hatred for the gods would never be sedated, even after Goddrick was destroyed. How could they have allowed this to happen? How could they hurt her like this? She deserved nothing but love and happiness, never pain and torment.
In that moment, her eyes shifted to him, and he responded with a wave and smile.
Returning one back to him, she then turned to Carmen, as if indicating that it was time to leave.
They hugged, which was a significant step for her.
Xol had been the only other person she allowed to touch her beyond just holding her hand.
He would need to protect Carmen, and all of the crew, from this point on. If she lost them—no, he wouldn’t even consider it to be a possibility. They were her family, and ultimately his, so they would be safe.
He watched as she picked up her dress, which was far too long for her, and walked across the wobbly bridge towards him. Everyone had difficulty navigating the high canopy, but Azahara seemed to adapt relatively quickly, as though she was meant to fly.
“Hey,” she dropped her dress, kicking it out as she walked. It was being held up by two very small straps, and he wondered how the fabric carried the weight of it without snapping.
“Hey, how did it go?” He watched her take a deep breath and straighten her shoulders.
“Good—mmm, actually it went great. I didn’t realize how much I just needed to talk to someone.
” A gentle smile lingered on her lips, “Not that I don’t talk to you, just, she knew the right questions to ask.
Knew when to, and when to not ask them. She had a way of shifting the conversation, so I didn’t always feel like I was complaining, or always being negative. ”
He smiled widely at her, “I’m so happy to hear that.”
“We talked about Kaed too,” she watched him, but she’d get no reaction.
Whether he was gone or not, Kaed still had a piece of her heart, if not all of it.
He still held to the truth that she had enough love to give this entire realm, which included him, “and I realized that I needed to talk to someone sooner about losing him. It will take some time, and many tears, but I do feel better. Like, I’m not betraying him for trying to be happy. ”
By the Mother, Sunshine, I am so proud of you. He stepped to her, and with her advancement, he wrapped his arms around her. Her arms came around his torso, squeezing him tightly.
“There is something else,” she continued, “but I’m nervous, for once, to talk about it with you.” His hand caressed her hair, watching as it bounced back into place as soon as his hand reached beyond its length. “I—” She cleared her throat, stopping her statement in its tracks.
“You don’t have to tell me now,” he said, watching her lean back to look at him. “There is plenty of time, okay? No pressure.” His hand came up, pulling on one of her curls playfully.
A soft pink color filtered under her freckles, and he could have melted right then. “No pressure for anything?”
Realization hit him like a rushing horse causing his eyes to widen, “Of course! For anything—nothing, oh Aza.” His head was shaking in utter shock. Had he ever given her the impression of that? “It was what happened earlier, wasn’t it? I—I would never expect—”
Her palm covered his mouth, and he took a deep breath, immediately relaxing.
“You have been nothing but a gentleman. As for earlier, I’m only upset it was interrupted,” his heart skipped a beat, “I just… what he did to me, it’s changed me, and I just hope that is okay with you.”
She, of course, was thinking about him, and his feelings. He would never understand, truly beyond the realm of possibilities, how anyone in their right mind could ever hurt her.
Moving her hand from his mouth, she waited, a sheepish expression on her face.
“You could tell me you never wanted to touch another man ever again and that you were switching sides for good—” it got a soft laugh from her, which he’d hoped it would, “and I would stay. I would still give you the world without anything in return just to be in your life.”
A tear rolled down her cheek, and he leaned in, kissing it to catch it from falling any further. “Thank you, Jayce.”
When he leaned back and looked at her, the light from the torches around them reflected off of her porcelain skin, giving her an ethereal glow. Her mismatching eyes held both the calm seas and roaring flames, drinking in his gaze.
He loved this girl more than his own existence and couldn’t wait to share it with her. After Ilkiz, he would tell her who he was, and while it terrified him to think of how she would react, he knew it was the right time.
Her sweet scent was intoxicating; she smelled like honeydew and apricots, sweet but not overpowering, and it reminded him of summer nights. Hints of nectar and lavender that brought him to a garden under the stars.
“Jayce,” She ran the back of her fingers down his cheek, “We should get some sleep.”
He smiled widely, brought his hand to hers, and kissed it.
“I agree. Tomorrow is going to be a long day.” There was wonder in her eyes.
They made their way into the pod, which looked very similar to the shape of a beehive.
It had moss adorning the outside, wrapped in vines and purple flowers he had never seen before.
They looked like tulips but blossomed outward, and a yellow tail lay between its petals.
It reminded him of Azahara’s window, and he couldn’t keep the chuckle in.
“What’s funny?” She asked as he closed the door behind them, and she crossed the small space towards the wardrobe, if that was even the right term for it.
It was just a pole hung against the wall where they’d decided to hang the few bits of clothes they had.
Akua had mentioned that while they were there, they should wear their traditional clothing.
The long flowing dress Azahara had on was something from Kaen.
Jayce opted not to change but promised to dress appropriately for the following days.