Chapter 27 #3
The thought didn’t scare her, so she didn’t react, which shocked Rah.
He repeated, “You could have been obliterated—”
“I heard you,” she confirmed.
Ilkiz grumbled.
“Okay…” Rah was over his head with that one, so he moved on, “The bonding part with Ilkiz is easy, but—”
“Hold on a moment,” Azahara once again cut him off, “Who said I even wanted to bond with her?” Shock, again, laced his expression, and she didn’t wait for him to try and continue, “I’m here to ask for help.
All I want to do is kill Goddrick and move on with my life.
I don’t want to be a so-called Keeper.” She threw her hands up in frustration, “I never wanted this. I didn’t volunteer to be some savior to a realm that currently hates me. ”
“They don’t hate you.” Rah countered.
“They fear me. Even if they would have sided with me for what I did on that battlefield, they would run from me given the first sign of trouble.”
Rah sighed, “You think I wanted it?”
“You sought out the Mother, so I would say, yes—you did.”
It elicited a laugh from him, but it held no humor.
Ilkiz, for once, was staying quiet. “You would be sorely mistaken, Azahara. I did not, in fact, want this.” There was no pain in his face, but she could tell in his tone that he felt no joy.
“I can’t tell you about the time before the Reshaping because then I would be removed from this existence without an afterlife awaiting me.
I quite like the thought of moving on peacefully.
“What I can tell you is that the world was on the brink of collapse. Great nations were at war with one another, weapons equivalent to those of Dragons and Giants but stronger and more devastating, were ready to destroy everything. It was on the precipice of a global war, and there was no end in sight. Great leaders promised peace, promised change, but in the end, it was only lies. The rich were richer, safer, and more untouchable. It didn’t matter what we, the little people, did.
“There would be no one left after the war, none that would create a better world when it was all over, anyways. I had no choice but to find a way to save my people, and I’m not talking about Shapeshifters, but those that wanted peace.
So, I knowingly went and sacrificed my life to protect them, with no reward in the end.
Other than the knowledge that I had tried to make the world a better place for those that survived.
“So no, Azahara, I did not want this life. I wanted to enjoy my marriage, have children, and be the doctor I had promised my mother I would be. It is what all of us Keepers have in common, unfortunately. We rarely get the choice.”
Tears streamed down Azahara’s face without her awareness, the sting in her nose and forehead catching her by surprise.
“It’s okay. I’m sure the text has misguided many about who I was. Though, I do like being a Star over a Keeper.” A Cheshire smile adorned his face, devoid of any trace of anger stemming from the comment she had made.
“I’m sorry...” Her voice wavered, and she brushed the back of her hand over her eyes.
“I just—” Both of them displayed patience as she searched for the words to convey her thoughts.
In that moment, her heart ached for Rah.
Once again, she empathized with his pain, feeling it as if it were her own.
“I just want what I want for once, and I know it sounds childish, but even the life before my curse was never truly mine.”
“I know, and it won’t ever be easy. Your path has not been completely written, so I cannot say for certain if you will ever get what you want.” He had read the book of Aurora. “All I can say is, it is possible. To have the life you want at the end of it.”
“How? You died after the Reshaping, and I’m assuming all the others did as well.” She hated that she was crying, but that feeling of anger in her chest rose, and she knew if she didn’t let it go, something else would come instead of the tears.
“You are not taking the path of a traditional Keeper, Azahara. You choose what you do with the powers provided to you. You can choose to Reshape this world as I did or destroy it.”
“Is there no other option?”
Rah took a deep breath and looked over at Ilkiz. She followed his gaze, watching as her large red eye shifted towards her. “No one has tried another option, but that does not mean there is not one.”
With a resounding sigh, she nodded her head. “Can I think about it? Even if not just for a few hours.”
Rah seemed to be nervous about the prospect, “Yes, that is fine. Are you hungry or thirsty?” It felt too mundane of a question.
She shook her head and turned away, “No, but if you don’t mind, can I just look through the books? Or are they memories of the world lost?”
“Be my guest; they are random books left by travelers when they used to visit.” With that, she distanced herself from them, settling on the floor and starting with the book closest to her.
She didn’t intend to read them, but the pretense might dissuade them from interrupting her contemplation about what direction to take in her life.
It was her life, after all.
Not theirs.