Chapter 46 #2
A bit of surprise lingered on her face, and she nodded at Xol, “Everything okay?” Barely getting the question out, she let out a soft gasp as she was wrapped in an embrace. Her body trembled, and Azahara felt heat behind her eyes, and quickly put her arms around the Yuul.
“What’s wrong?!” Concern laced her tone.
“I...” Xol mumbled, burying her head in the crook of her shoulder, taking a deep breath.
“Xol…” Her embrace tightened.
“I don’t know.” The firmness in her hold remained unwavering, and Azahara placed her head down onto her chest. “I’ve never felt this before. When Goddrick took you, I was angry. That was the only emotion I had. Now, knowing you are going on your own volition, I’ve been feeling this strange—”
“You are nervous, sad, upset… worried…” Azahara closed her eyes, feeling her own tears trailing down her cheek. “I am too.”
Xol gently placed a hand on Azahara’s head, running it down her hair and settling it at the back of her neck. “To others, you are just a beautiful human girl blessed, or cursed, with a burden you never wanted. They see just another person in the crowd of millions. Not me, I don’t.”
Azahara leaned back, gazing up at Xol’s colorless face, her striking eyes glossed over as tears trickled down her cheek.
“I see the reason I am here. To me, you are my goddess, my version of Death.” One of Xol’s hands came to her cheek, and she leaned into it.
“I don’t understand the concept of love, but if it is anything like this, I don’t like it.
” That made her smile because she understood.
Love was both beautiful and painful. It was the source of her greatest turmoil, but at the same time, the happiest pieces of her life.
“You better not do anything stupid, Violence, or so help me, this world will not survive what we will do to it.”
“I won’t—” Xol’s lips met hers, catching her so off guard that she let out a gasp.
The taste of salt and lingering nectar filled her senses.
Once she moved past the initial surprise, she returned the pressure, reciprocating the embrace.
It wasn’t something she had ever imagined, kissing Xol, but it was beautiful.
A sense of protection and love enveloped her as she was pulled closer.
It hadn’t lasted long, and when Xol pulled away, she sighed, “I mean it.” Her stern tone and complete disregard for the moment beforehand made Azahara laugh. “Also, why do you smell and taste so good?”
Throwing her head back, she groaned, “I don’t know. I did just get out of the bath.”
“No, that isn’t it,” her eyes narrowed on her, “I thought maybe Jayce was exaggerating.”
Azahara felt heat flow to her face, and her hands tingled as though going numb. “He… what did he say?” There was no way he was flaunting that around.
With a slight chuckle, Xol shook her head, “No, no, no.” She paused, watching as Azahara turned every shade of red she could.
“I think this is a conversation for another time, but he does not speak of anything that happens between you two. He merely asked me when I first met you on the ship if I had smelled your scent. I never—well, tried, to not pay attention.” Again, she swore she saw her cheeks somehow form color on them, “I could only hold my breath for so long.”
That would explain why she didn’t speak to me… she thought.
“Now that I’ve tasted you I—”
“Xol! Please don’t say anymore, I am going to die of embarrassment.” Azahara grumbled.
“Do not die,” Xol seemed concerned.
“It’s just a saying Xol.”
“Why would you joke like that?”
“Just—never mind, please don’t talk about how I taste.” Her voice was strained, and she felt further heat building everywhere across her body.
“Can I speak with Jayce about it?”
“Why?!” She nearly screamed.
“So… we can compare.”
“Compare what?!” She screamed.
Jayce mercifully entered the room, rescuing her from the awkward conversation they were having.
Xol admitted to Jayce that she had kissed her, causing her face to turn an even deeper shade of red, a hue she feared might be permanently replaced with the pallor of a tomato. Jayce chuckled and bid Xol farewell.
“Come on r—” he cut himself off so quickly, she almost didn’t realize what he was about to call her. Red.
“It’s okay,” She reassured him with a gentle smile.
He shook his head and put his hand out, “No, that isn’t for me to call you. Come on, it’s time to eat.”
The evening unfolded perfectly, with the moon casting its gentle glow upon them.
Laughter and tears flowed freely as they indulged in a hearty feast, although Azahara and Jayce refrained from partaking in any liquor, well aware of the importance of a good night’s sleep before the challenges of the following day.
They briefly discussed the plan, only to ensure everyone was on the same page.
As the night progressed, Jayce signaled that it was time to retire, and surprisingly, Alyse didn’t protest, urging everyone to follow suit.
A thick silence enveloped them as they cleaned up, each person burdened by their individual anxieties.
Azahara anticipated a sleepless night for all, mirroring her own restless nerves.
Once the hull was cleared, everyone parted ways.
She and Jayce retreated to their quarters.
She drew in a long, heavy breath, releasing a sigh of tension.
Allowing her shoulders to drop, she reached for the crook of her neck, squeezing tightly down her shoulder, and pressed her lips together in a fine line.
“Do you want another massage?” Jayce, ever attentive, asked as he was crossing the room, removing his shirt and kicking off his boots.
She lifted her shirt over her head and unclasped her bra, tossing them to the corner and slipping her pants off.
Shaking her head, she expressed a simple desire, “I just want to hold you.” Her confession got a soft hum from him.
Before sliding into bed, she slipped over her night gown and curled under the covers.
He was there, shirtless, waiting with open arms.
As they settled between the sheets, she held onto him for dear life, “Fuck, I’m so nervous.”
His hand ran through her hair, brushing it with his nails and rubbing gentle circles at the nape of her neck.
“I know, your leg was shaking nearly the entire evening,” he remarked.
She buried her face into his chest, emitting a groan that earned a laugh from him.
“I am too, beyond words. This isn’t like Sunfall, this feels like a trap more than anything. ”
“It is a trap,” She said with confidence, “It’s why I’m going in with the knowledge that everything we have planned for, is likely going to go wrong.”
“We will get them and come home. All of us will come out of this.”
She looked up at him and nodded, “Honey…”
The look of surprise on his face made her laugh through her nose, “Yes, Sunshine?”
“You said that Jaakobai brought up the Book of Vespera,” he nodded, his hand that had been playing with her hair moved to her shoulder, and gently massaging it. “Ilkiz says she destroyed it.“ He didn’t seem surprised about that fact, “Do you think he knows that?”
“Likely, but desperation can be a powerful emotion.” He placed a kiss on her head, relaxing into her, “Rah wrote it, if my memory serves me correctly.” She nodded, and he continued, “They would have to play God with time, and while I’d say that is impossible, I wouldn’t hold it against Jaakobai to attempt it.
Though, it won’t matter after tomorrow.”
Her head was tilted up towards him, watching as he closed his eyes, “Why’s that?”
“Can’t turn pages in a book without hands,” he said it so casually that she couldn’t help but let out a soft laugh. “I’m serious. Boy will be lucky to come out alive, which I plan to be his best-case scenario.”
Biting her lip, she took another deep breath, and closed her eyes. “Allow me the honor to remove his tongue.”
He chuckled, “All yours, baby.”
Day 181
For the first time in what felt like forever, she took a seat and gazed at herself in the mirror.
The day loomed ahead, and she wasn’t prepared for it in any way.
Desiring a moment of solitude with just herself, she sat in silence, Ilkiz receded to the furthest part of her, respecting her need for uninterrupted reflection.
Every past circumstance had been thrust upon her, and although she lacked a choice in the matter, she was still choosing to face it head-on.
Regardless of whether they believed it, Illyan was her best friend, and she would go to any lengths for them. She should never have left them in the first place, and when Illyan shared with her that they were going after not only them, but Zhal and Kaed, she wished she’d told them where she was.
But Goddrick…
She didn’t conceal her face as tears started streaming down her cheeks, leaving a glistening trail along her skin.
These tears weren’t just about her pain but also for everyone she loved and cared for.
It was time to place blame on those who had hurt them—whether it was Goddrick, the King, or Jaakobai.
Tessa, Broan, Kaed, and others had suffered, and these tears were an acknowledgment of that collective pain.
Her eyes seemed to come alive, constantly shifting hues of red and orange amidst a sea of blue that never rested in one place for even a moment.
In contrast, the other eye, a steady crystal blue, seemed to emit a constant glow.
This juxtaposition was almost like a metaphor for her life—a representation of the stability she craved, the normalcy she yearned for, and the life that had been thrust upon her, one she never wanted.
Just like her eyes, this moment was here, and there was no turning back. The ship was now docked, and they eagerly awaited her presence. The time had come to face whatever lay ahead, embracing both the life she had and the one she never asked for.
They were waiting for the monster.
Adjusting her top, she stood. The dark blue and black ensemble was stunning, and she had to thank all of the ladies onboard that assisted in putting it together.
It was simple, but held a lot of subtle importance.
The color was a call to Jayce and his raven wings, and with the gold accents along the arms and shoulder cuffs, a nod to the Neptune.
The boning under her breast was a curved golden metal, and between it, a red stone, for the flames of Ilkiz.
She was finishing the braid in her hair when the door opened, and Jayce stepped in. The pain etched across his face nearly convinced her to retreat to bed. To tell the crew to turn them around and forget all about this stupid plan.
“Everyone is doing busy work and will do so as we exit. It needs to appear as if they don’t care you are leaving, for their safety.” His voice was low, broken, “They—” He stepped to her, “We aren’t okay.”
Extending her arm toward him, he grasped it and tenderly drew her close to his chest. Adorning the distinctive cloak of the White Cloaks, he wore standard clothes beneath.
Absent of any armor, it stirred a hint of unease within her, but she held firm in the knowledge that he possessed the means to defend himself if needed.
“I’m not either,” she enveloped him in her arms, intensifying her embrace.
“Remember what you said,” she clung to him tenaciously, “If you go down, we go down together. If something happens to you—” abruptly, he maneuvered her against the wall, his fingers beneath her chin, directing her gaze to his.
“We’re going to get them, and all of us will come home.
” His hand caressed the side of her neck.
“Then I’m going to let you beat me in chess,” she chuckled, her heart aching, “and take you diving again, but in the Reefs of Ilkiz.” He brushed away a falling tear.
“And make love to you every night, hold you till you find peace and never let go, even then.” With one arm propping him against the wall, she felt safe, as if he were her sword and shield.
“We will come back, Azahara Starfall, and yes, it will be difficult, but we will do this together. I’ll be by your side the entire time. Remember, I serve my world: you.”
With the lump in her throat refusing to dissipate even as she swallowed, she nodded, “I know, thank you—“ she took a deep breath, and he sealed her lips with his. This kiss wasn’t gentle; instead, it brimmed with unspoken longing and power.
He consumed her, leaving no room for anyone but him in that moment.
How she yearned to remain entwined like this, to forget everything and let him carry her away.
After a fleeting moment, he withdrew, running his thumb down her lips. “I love you, Sunshine.”
“I love you, Jayce.”
“Remember our roles.” She knew why he was reminding her, “Don’t forget.”
With a deep breath and a determined nod, she locked eyes with him. “Let’s go get them.”