Chapter 26 #2
Jonah gripped his headphones tightly in his hands as he looked at Dexter. His words sounded sincere, and it made Jonah’s heart
beat double time in his chest. Thump. Thump. Thump. But he couldn’t believe him; Edward told him he loved him, he took him to bed and fucked him in the days leading up to leaving
him for someone else. For seven months he made Jonah believe he was the only person in his life, and Jonah fell for it. So
how could he believe Dexter when he stood there telling him he loved him when he was also betraying him? Was betrayal not
the same when it came down to its core?
“Then why not tell me?” Jonah asked, his voice quieter now as he stepped closer to him. “Why not tell me?”
“You don’t trust me.” It wasn’t a question. Dexter said it as a blanket statement, a fact, and Jonah hated the accusation,
but couldn’t turn away from it either.
“How can I?”
“I think the problem here is with you, not me,” Dexter said, placing his hand on the door handle to open it. “And I think
until you realize that, there’s no point in us pretending we can make this work.”
“Are you breaking up with me?”
“You can’t be in a relationship with someone until you sort yourself out. Why would you want to be with me if you can’t trust
me?”
The question hung in the air between them and sucked all the hope out of the room. They looked at each other, brown eyes searching
hazel, and Jonah couldn’t think of the words to respond. If only someone gave him a script, he could recite the perfect thing
to say in this situation, a way to salvage what could have been his best shot at finally finding happiness, but there were
no playwrights with the answer he needed. For without words, he couldn’t tell Dexter he loved him, he couldn’t tell him it
wasn’t because he didn’t trust him, he’d just been hurt and that meant he couldn’t stop himself from dissecting every aspect of their relationship, even though
he knew just how unfair that was on Dexter. And even though Jonah knew he could find something to fix the tear opening in
the tapestry of their relationship, he decided instead to pull out a giant pair of fabric scissors and eradicate it altogether.
“How can I trust you when you’ve still not told me why you were at that lunch with them?” Jonah stepped past him and into
the hallway, the cool air from outside hitting his skin as another cast member let themselves out of the stage door. He could
sense Dexter behind him but didn’t look to see if he was following him to say something else or leaving to get lost in the
heart of London. Jonah picked up the pen by the sign-out sheet only to see Omari hurtle toward him with the theatre phone
in hand.
“Jonah,” he said breathlessly. “I don’t know why I’m now your bloody PA, but you’ve got a call. Polly? I think? They said you weren’t answering your phone.”
“Polly?” Jonah frowned and took the phone from him. “Hello?”
“Hey, love, it’s Penny.”
“Oh, hi.” He stepped to the side to allow other people to leave through the door he was blocking and groped around in his
bag for his phone, and there, on the screen, showed six missed calls from his mum and four from Penny. “Is everything okay?”
“Is there any way you can make your way home?” Penny spoke delicately, her voice soft as if trying to soothe a child to sleep.
Jonah turned away from Omari and took the phone back to his dressing room, passing Dexter on the way, who looked at him skeptically.
“Why? Has Mum done something to herself?”
“No. No, she’s . . . she’s okay. It’s your dad, love.”
Jonah froze in the middle of the dressing room. “Dad? What’s wrong with him?” He’d been doing well. His mum’s photos showed
him looking more like his old self, physically at least. “Has he had a fall?”
“He was taken into hospital earlier today, he was having some chest pains so they sent him there to be on the safe side. But
since going in he’s deteriorated rapidly.”
“Deteriorated? Is he . . . is he going to be okay?”
“Jonah,” she said with a deep inhalation of breath. “The doctor told us, if he has family, then it would be best for them
to come and see him as soon as possible.”
“He’s dying?”
“We aren’t sure how long he has left, love.”
“I . . . I won’t be able to get a train until the morning. I could . . . I’ll have to get a taxi and beg one to take me out
there,” he blurted, his mind jumping over obstacles to find a solution. “But it’s still going to take me about six hours,
Pen.”
“I know.”
“Will I be too late?”
“I can’t answer that,” she said. “But we will be with him, me and your mum. Just get here when you can.”
“Tell him I love him?”
“Of course.”
“And I’ll call when I’m on my way.”
He held his phone in his hands, thumbs hovering over the screen as he tried to think about what company he could call to take
him out there. It would cost a fortune, but it didn’t matter. He would give his last penny if it meant getting to sit with
his dad one last time. He didn’t expect it to be so soon; he didn’t expect it for years in fact. But this, now, it shocked
him to his core. His dad. The man who carried him on his shoulders when they went on adventures in the park, the man who held
his hand as they collected cockles along the shoreline, the man who read him stories about pirate ships and princesses locked
away in castles before bed was dying.
“Jonah?”
He looked over his shoulder to see Dexter standing in the door frame. “Dexter, not now, I’ve got to—”
“Go home, I heard.”
“Yeah, so, um, I’m sorry, I can’t do this right now.”
“Let me drive you.”
“What?”
“I have a car,” Dexter said, as if Jonah should have known that little morsel of information, which, to be fair, he really
should have.
“Why do you have a car?” Jonah asked. “You live in London. Why bother?”
“I don’t think that’s really the concern here right now, is it?”
“How long have you had a car?”
Dexter made a small huffing sound. “Does it matter, Jonah? It’s parked on my road. Let me take you.”
“It’s an almost six-hour drive, Dexter.”
“Well, we will have to stop for coffee, then, won’t we?”
Jonah blinked back some tears, then wiped his hand across his face. “But you just broke up with me.”
“That doesn’t matter right now. Let me help you.” Dexter held out his hand to him, and Jonah looked at his palm, then took
it into his own. “Good. Come on, we’ve got a long drive ahead.”