Chapter 19
CHAPTER 19
ATTICUS
PAST
It was anything but a typical Friday night down in Cassius’s basement. My nerves were fried because this was the first time I’d brought Kayla around. I’d only just started dating her. We’d hung out a few times alone, but never with my friends. More than anything, I was nervous about introducing her to Nicole.
I’d decided not to tell Nicole I had feelings for her before she left for college. I had a mad crush on her and always would, but it was better if we stayed friends, given the long-distance thing. She was such a good friend, and I wanted to make sure she stayed that way. That’s what I’d told myself at least—that I didn’t want to hold her back when she was about to leave home. Nicole was headed to the big city. And me? I was stuck in Monksville, still dreaming of some big break that would get me out of here and on my way to an actual music career. That was probably a pipe dream.
Anyway, I was pretty sure Nicole only saw me as a friend. She’d never given me any vibes that indicated otherwise. And I hadn’t had the balls to test it out. I’d never been afraid of rejection, but getting shot down by Nicole was something I didn’t think I could handle. That would make things awkward between us forever. So I kept my feelings inside.
We’d just finished playing a set in the basement—Cassius on the mic, Julian on guitar, and me on the drums. Kayla had been sitting next to Nicole on the couch the whole time, watching us practice. It seemed like they were getting along, which brought me some relief. But I still felt weird about it because the girl I was dating was talking to the girl I’d been obsessed with for so long. If Kayla knew my true feelings for Nicole, she wouldn’t have been so friendly. It wouldn’t be an issue for much longer with Nicole leaving for school in a month, though. I just needed to stay focused. It made sense for me to move on with someone else, rather than being stuck thinking about Nicole while she started her future in Boston.
After we stopped practicing, Kayla came over to sit on my lap. As she ran her fingers through my hair, I noticed Nicole looking over at us. Was she happy for me? Was she jealous? Was she just observing?
Cassius brought out some beer, and we all dove in. Well, everyone except Nicole. She looked pretty upset now, and that concerned me.
When Kayla left to use the bathroom, I went over to Nicole. “Are you okay?”
She wouldn’t look me in the eye as she blushed. “Yeah, I’m fine. Why do you ask?”
“I don’t know. You just look like something is wrong.”
She hesitated. “I think it was this…seafood I ate earlier.”
“Seafood? You’re sick to your stomach?”
Nicole continued to look away from me. “Yeah,” she muttered before getting up from the couch. “You’d better stay away so you don’t get sick, too.”
Something seemed off, but I had no reason to question her. A few minutes later, when Kayla was back on my lap, Nicole left the basement. After that, I found it hard to focus on anything else. I couldn’t ignore the prospect of Nicole being jealous.
Unable to help myself, I lifted Kayla off my lap and stood. “Excuse me for a minute, okay?”
“Where are you going?”
“Bathroom,” I lied.
Nicole was nowhere to be found upstairs, so I assumed she had left, which bummed me out. I was about to return downstairs when I spotted her car in the driveway. I rushed outside just as she was backing out. I held up my hands, prompting her to stop.
She rolled down the window.
“Are you okay?” I asked.
She shook her head. “Not really.”
“You’re feeling sicker?”
Despite the darkness, I could see her face turning red.
“You don’t know what’s going on here, Atticus?” Her eyes glistened as she looked up at me. “You really don’t know?”
“Why don’t you tell me…” I walked around to the passenger side and got in.
She backed out and drove a ways down the road before parking on one of the side streets. Nicole shut off the engine. “I can’t stand seeing you with her.”
My heart beat faster. I was right? She’s jealous? My chest filled with hope. I swallowed. “In what way? Like, you don’t like her… Or you don’t like her with me ?”
“I don’t like anyone with you. I thought I’d be able to handle this when the day came. Especially since I’m going away. But I’ve never felt so much jealousy in my life.”
Before I could respond, Nicole got out of the car and hurled all over the street. I ran to hold her hair back.
After she finally stopped, she turned to me. “This is so mortifying.”
“That must have been some fish…” I teased.
She held her stomach. “You’re the fish, Atticus! It’s you. Seeing that girl all over you made me sick to my stomach.” She shook her head. “You must think I’m nuts.”
“Are you kidding? This is the happiest night of my life. I didn’t know you felt that way about me. I really didn’t. If I’d thought for a second that you had feelings for me, I wouldn’t have been with her at all, let alone brought her around.” I brushed my hand along her cheek, not giving a shit if I got vomit on me. “Nicole, I’ve been so into you all this time. But I was scared you didn’t feel the same way. I’ve dreamed about you telling me you had feelings for me. Can’t say I imagined it happening like this, though.” I laughed.
“You didn’t imagine the barf?”
“Not quite. But it’s all good.”
“What do we do now?” she asked.
“What do you think we do? I’ll drive us back to the house, take Kayla home, and tell her we can’t see each other anymore. You wait for me to come back.”
“Wait for you where?”
“Wherever you want. I’ll go wherever you are. Just tell me where to meet you. But make sure no one else is around, because I want to kiss you like you’ve never been kissed before.” I winked. “Just brush your teeth first.”
Still looking embarrassed, she laughed nervously. “I’ve never been kissed before, Atticus.”
I arched a brow. “Say what?”
“I know that’s crazy. I’m eighteen, and I’ve never been kissed, but the opportunity just hasn’t presented itself. I’ve spent the past two years wishing I was with you.” She looked down at her feet and shook her head. “I haven’t been interested in anyone else.”
After she dropped me off at Cassius’s house, I ran down to the basement and told Kayla we needed to leave.
Feeling a bit giddy, I drove her to her house and let her down as easily as I possibly could. Still, she got pissed, slammed the car door, and ran inside. Maybe that was a shitty thing to do to someone, but the girl of my dreams liked me so much that she’d thrown up.
That was pretty damn awesome.