Chapter Eighteen
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
TATE GRABBED LIAM’S hips as he started to climb off his lap. “Stay.” It sounded more of a plea than a command.
Liam stilled, frowning down at the man beneath him. “Yeah?” Part of him needed the physical separation, something to keep his heart from becoming too entwined with Tate’s and ending up battered if this news was negative.
Who was he kidding? It was far too late to keep his heart out of the picture. It became involved the moment he realized Tate hid a vulnerable soul beneath his tough exterior.
“Yeah. I mean, if you want to.” The uncertainty in Tate’s tone ate at Liam’s heart. He wanted to soothe this man, to promise that no matter what Tate was about to say, everything between them would be okay.
But will it?
“I want to,” Liam said as he settled back down astride Tate. “I like any excuse to be close to you, but I’m not gonna lie, you’re making me a bit nervous.” Or extremely nervous.
“I know.” Tate chuckled, but it held no humor. There went that hand again, running through his hair. If this turmoil continued, he’d be bald before his twenty-sixth birthday, whenever that was. Something for Liam to discover.
After blowing out a long breath, Tate cleared his throat. “I have a story to tell you. It, uh, might be hard to hear, and it might change how you feel about this… us… me.”
“Okay…” With each passing second, tension coiled tighter. Tate’s solemn expression did nothing to ease Liam’s nerves. Whatever story he was about to tell, it would suck. “Go ahead.” Doubt was clear as day in his voice, but he didn’t shy away from hearing Tate out. He’d promised to be a safe space for the other man, so he worked to keep from judging before he knew anything. He slipped his hands under Tate’s shirt, splaying his fingers across those delicious abs. The warmth of Tate’s skin grounded him.
“I like your hands on me.”
“Good.” He smiled as he stroked all over Tate’s torso. “Then I’ll keep touching as long as you start talking.”
Tate grimaced. “Okay, um… where to start? I guess at the beginning.” His mouth turned down. “Every summer since we were kids, Randy and I, along with our friends, uh, went to the county fair together.”
The county fair. Oh God. Liam’s hands stilled. He stared down at Tate with dread creeping down his spine.
Stop talking.
He couldn’t speak.
Tate looked everywhere around the apartment but at Liam. “My dad was long gone by the time I could talk in full sentences, and my mom, well, you’ve heard a bit about her, so as far back as I can remember, Randy and I walked there ourselves. Sometimes with our friends, sometimes alone. The summer I turned fifteen,”— Fifteen. I can’t breathe. —“Randy couldn’t wait to get there because, uh, Whit, his now wife, had promised him a BJ if he got to her before another, Daryl of all people.”
He peeled his thick tongue from the roof of his mouth. “Wow, sounds like true love.” He’d never know how he managed a joke despite the enormous weight crushing his chest.
Tate grunted. “Something like that. Anyway, he ran ahead, and I took my sweet time walking there. When I finally made it, I wandered around for a bit, looking for my crew.” He stroked his thumb back and forth over Liam’s thigh in a move that seemed more to soothe himself than anything else. “I didn’t find them, but I saw this stage with dancers who looked like they were in high school.”
Liam gasped. Memories of that performance swarmed into the forefront of his thoughts.
Swan Lake.
At the time, they’d all grumbled about performing Swan Lake in Swan, Oklahoma. How cheesy they thought it had been to match the ballet to the town. He’d played Prince Siegfried. And he’d loved every second of it. Until everything imploded.
“Uh, most of the dancers on stage were girls,” Tate continued. “But there was this one guy who caught my attention and completely captivated me. I stopped looking for my friends and watched him. He was so hypnotizing I couldn’t even breathe.”
Liam’s jaw hung open. Speaking of not breathing. He didn’t dare inhale for fear of missing even one word of Tate’s story.
Finally, Tate lifted his gaze to meet Liam’s. Liam fell headfirst into the powerful emotions capturing him. Regret, suffering, longing. So many dominant emotions this poor man had no idea how to handle. “He was so beautiful, Luxe,” he whispered. “I stood there watching him for what felt like hours. I couldn’t tear myself away. I didn’t want to.”
“Tate…” He gripped the man's hands to keep them from diving through his hair again. They trembled slightly, stilling only when he squeezed Liam back.
“It was the first time I felt attracted to a guy. It was confusing. I didn’t get it at first. Everything was too overwhelming, but I was so spellbound I couldn’t stop staring or even be worried about what my feelings meant. I have no idea what ballet it was, but it was incredible.”
“Swan Lake,” he whispered.
Tate’s half smile held a world of pain and sadness. “Fitting.”
“Yeah.”
“Eventually, my friends caught up with me while I was standing there gawking. I played it off but still got all sorts of shit from them. Why the hell was I watching? Did I have a thing for girls in tutus? What was with the male dancer? A fairy, they called him over and over.”
“Fairy,” Liam said with a roll of his eyes and as much haughtiness in his tone as he could muster. “I was an elegant swan, not a flitting fairy.” No point in pretending they were talking about anyone else.
“Yeah.” Tate let go of his hands and reached up to cup Liam’s face. “Prettiest swan there ever was.”
This man…
He couldn’t keep from nuzzling his cheek against that coarse palm.
“Uh, anyway, we hung out for a while and did the usual fair shit. I stopped to take a leak before we left, and when I came out of the bathroom, I couldn’t find anyone. At first, I thought they ditched me, but then I heard what sounded like a fight.”
Oh God, here it comes.
Liam couldn’t keep his eyes from filling with tears as traumatic memories he’d worked so hard to leave in the past came flooding back. He sucked in a stunted breath and blinked as fast as he could.
“Want me to stop?” Tate ran his hands up and down Liam’s thighs. The man had a lucrative career as a masseuse if he ever wanted a change.
“No,” he whispered, shaking his head. “I want to hear it all.” He had to hear it all. He tried to focus on the feel of those warm, strong hands instead of his turbulent emotions.
With their eyes locked, Tate continued, “I followed the sounds around the back of a trailer and found Randy and Daryl watching someone taking a serious beating. It only took me a second to recognize the victim was the dancer I’d watched earlier.”
Yes, he was .
“I lost it. I didn’t know who had attacked him, but I knew why, and I lost my shit.”
He didn’t need to close his eyes to conjure clear images of that night. “They wore ball caps and bandanas over their faces,” he whispered. “I tried to grab one guy’s bandana so I could see his face, but I was in too much pain. All I could do was curl in a ball and try to protect my vital organs. ‘Fairies didn’t belong in our town.’ That’s what they’d said before they knocked me down. I told them they were as stupid as they were ugly if they couldn’t tell the difference between a fairy and a swan.” Maybe someday he would chuckle at the memory of that smartass quip, but the memory of the punch that followed his bold statement ensured that day hadn’t come yet.
“Jesus, Luxe, you’ve got balls.”
Liam shrugged.
“You’d been so perfect on that stage,” Tate said, seeming unaware he’d started talking about Liam directly instead of the anonymous dancer. “I couldn’t… I couldn’t stand to see someone hurting you.”
Tears spilled out of Liam’s eyes. “You yelled. Screamed for them to stop.”
Nodding, Tate said, “They didn’t listen, so I… I tried to stop them.”
It was the most horrible night of his life, and Tate had been there. He’d been Liam’s savior. Whatever perceived wrongdoing Tate punished himself for, it wasn’t necessary. He had been the only person to stand up for a beaten gay kid, the only one to help.
“You saved my life, Tate.” He inched his hands back under Tate’s shirt and resumed touching as much skin as he could reach. “It was bad. The doctors told me if it had gone on much longer, I’d have suffered internal bleeding and possibly died.”
Tate shook his head. “I didn’t do shit. They were bigger, and there were two of ’em. I got my ass handed to me and then fled like a coward, like the rest of them, when the cops got close.”
Was that how he viewed it? For years, Liam had wondered about his mystery protector. Little did he know the brave man had been right in front of him for weeks. “No, Tate,” he said, withdrawing his hands so he could cup the man’s face between his palms. “You took the attention away from me without thought for your own safety. I was able to breathe and hold on until the security guard showed up and called an ambulance.” His voice caught. “I thought I was going to die that night. And then there you were, and I had hope.”
“That was the night I realized exactly what would happen to me if I was gay.” Tate’s voice took on a faraway tone as though he’d gotten lost in the painful memories. “I ran away so fast and hard I eventually collapsed. I puked my guts up in a cornfield, just fucking knowing I could not be gay. I said it over and over. ‘I am not gay. I am not gay.’”
The tiny fraction of Liam’s heart not destroyed by this story splintered, joining the rest in a mess of broken pieces. “Tate, I’m so sorry.”
“I’m gay, Luxe.”
Liam smiled, a real one this time. “I know, baby. And I am so lucky that you are.”
They kissed. It was slow, sweet, and delicious, like a velvety red wine. Neither rushed to get naked or raced to get off. They explored each other’s mouths with lips, tongues, and teeth while their hands roamed for what felt like hours. Liam slid his hands back under Tate’s shirt, needing to feel his warm skin. He ran his thumbs over the man’s nipples as he licked into his mouth.
Tate moaned a slow, sensual sound that had Liam shivering in his lap.
“Love your hands on me,” Tate whispered. “Love your mouth. I’m fucking obsessed.” He nipped Liam’s lower lip as his hips made a slow roll, rocking their erections together.”
“God, same,” Liam chased those lips until he got his tongue back in Tate’s mouth. He loved the feel of them sliding against each other in an unhurried yet playful manner.
“I want to taste more of you, Luxe. I want your cock in my mouth. Can I suck you?”
Liam groaned. “Always.” Then jutted his lip out in an overdramatic pout. “But I wanted to suck you.”
“Me first.” Tate grabbed his ass and squeezed until Liam was grinding on him.
“Or…” he whispered in Tate’s ear, “… we could do it at the same time.”
“Yes. That. Oh, fuck yes. Let’s do that.”
“Glad you like my idea.” As Liam scrambled off his lap, Tate went to work, tearing his own clothes off. Within seconds, he was naked and sprawled on the couch with his hard cock pointing straight out as though trying to reach for Liam. “Damn, you are one sexy bastard. All those muscles. Mmm.” He licked his lips as he imagined repeatedly running his tongue up and down over those abs until he got his fill. Another time.
“Why the fuck are you still dressed, Luxe?” Tate asked as he played with the head of his cock.
“I got caught up in the show.” Instead of getting naked as fast as possible as Tate did, he took his sweet time peeling himself out of his tight dance clothes.
“Are you trying to fucking kill me?”
“No,” he said with a sly grin. But I am trying to make you sweat a bit.”
“I’m drenched.” He shifted until he was lying on his back on the couch. “Get those goddamn tights off and sit your pretty ass on my face before I’m covered in my own cum.”
“Well, since you said my ass was pretty…” He finished undressing much quicker. His cock was so damn hard it bobbed as he closed the distance to the couch.
“Everything about you is pretty.”
“Yeah?” Liam couldn’t help himself and took his hands on a slow journey down the front of his body, loving the way Tate practically drooled as he watched.
“Hell yes. So damn smooth. I love your body. You’re so muscular but not bulky like me. So sleek. Yeah, that’s the word. Sleek and pretty.”
Liam preened.
“You’re such a praise slut,” Tate said with a laugh.
“Hmm, I think you might be right. Hearing you call me pretty makes me want to do all sorts of nasty things to you.” He swung a leg onto the couch behind Tate’s head, then settled the other near the edge. His ass and balls hovered directly over Tate’s face.
“Goddamn, that’s a view.”
“Tell me about it.” The unobstructed landscape of Tate’s magnificent body lay before him—rippling abs, a few tattoos, and miles of tanned skin culminating in a long, thick cock that was all his for the night.
Strong hands gripped his ass, parting his cheeks as a warm tongue licked over his ball sack. Liam hissed. “Yes.”
He leaned forward, giving Tate closer access to his balls, then licked across the top of Tate’s cock, gathering a dribble of precum. The salty burst of flavor had him moaning like he’d tasted his favorite treat.
Who was he kidding? Tate’s cock was by far his favorite treat.
Tate continued to tease Liam with licks and sucks to his balls, leaving his cock untouched and aching. He got his revenge by sucking the head of Tate’s dick into his mouth, playing with it while not allowing him any deeper.
“Jesus, Luxe, your cock is drooling all over my goddamn chest.”
“That’s cuz you won’t suck it, you sadist,” Liam snapped, making Tate howl with laughter.
“Oh yeah?” he said, still chuckling. “Well, what’s with you just tonguing my tip like I’m a damn lollipop?”
“Revenge,” Liam said with a dark snicker. “I… oh shit.”
White hot suction enveloped his entire cock as Tate swallowed him to the root. Liam’s entire body convulsed from extreme pleasure.
“Now we’re talking,” he muttered before mirroring Tate’s action and inhaling his dick. Was it normal how much he loved having a mouth full of cock?
Who cares?
They didn’t speak again, too focused on driving each other crazy. Every erotic sound and thrust of Tate’s hips had him spiraling toward orgasm as much as the suction on his cock. And when Tate finally unloaded down his throat, Liam swallowed every drop like a parched man in the desert as his savior's orgasm triggered his own.
He had one final thought before his brain melted out through his dick.
I will do anything I have to in order to keep this man.