Chapter 22
Despite what happened the previous evening, Ophelia could not be certain of Adrian’s intentions. While she knew that he wanted to be there for her and Harriet, she knew just as well that he would fight against that desire as if his life depended on it.
For that reason, she decided not to push him. Rather, she would let him come to her when he was ready. If she simply existed in his life, proving that the two could live in peace and even happiness, then perhaps that would be enough?
It was thus a shock when Ophelia broke her fast the following morning, only for Adrian to appear in the breakfast room.
“Oh.” She blinked in surprise as he entered. “Adrian, what are you doing here?”
He paused at the end of the table. “I thought to break my fast. Is that…” He considered her, and she truly thought that he was going to turn and leave. “Is that agreeable?”
“Of course it is.” She made sure to smile. “In fact, I insist.” She gestured to the head of the table.
Adrian nodded once, his expression severe, as he took his seat. He did not smile. He did not look comfortable. But that he was there meant more than words could ever say.
“How are you feeling this morning?” he asked her once their food was served. The question came from nowhere, and Ophelia started in surprise.
“Perfectly well,” she said.
“Good,” he said with a firm nod. “I worried that after yesterday you might have taken ill.”
“Worried?” She laughed gently. “I hope such worries did not keep you up at night.”
“Of course not,” he said sharply, and a little too quickly. She frowned, he grimaced, and then he softened his expression. “But I am glad to hear there were no lingering effects. Have you checked on Harriet?”
It was all Ophelia could do not to beam her gratitude, as well as her relief. That he asked about her health was one thing, but that he wondered the same about Harriet was another entirely. He truly did care, and after last night, he was starting to see that such worries were not so bad.
“I have,” she assured him. “And she is perfectly well. She is with the wet nurse at the moment, being fed. But all signs suggest that yesterday did not faze her.”
“Good,” he said a little awkwardly. “I am… I am glad to hear it.”
She continued to study him, even as he determinedly focused on his plate of food. While his questions suggested concern, the way he behaved implied the opposite. It was clearly his way of having things both ways, wanting to make it obvious that he cared, while wanting it to look as if he did not.
“What are you planning on doing today?” she asked once she realized that he had no intention of continuing their conversation.
“Work,” he said simply.
“I thought as much…” She looked pointedly at him.
He must have felt her eyes because he looked up and started. She continued to watch him, raising an eyebrow to try and encourage the obvious.
“And yourself?” he asked finally. “What are your plans?”
“Oh.” Ophelia turned toward the window, noting the blue skies that had come early in the morning. “I think I might take Harriet into the park. After yesterday, I think we could both use it.”
Adrian said nothing, but his face suddenly took on a look that was grave.
“Is that…” Ophelia hesitated. “Is that a problem?”
Again, he said nothing. Whatever was on his mind, it was enough that he disappeared inside of himself for a few moments, fighting against something that she could not imagine. Would he deny her? Had yesterday changed his perception of what she could and could not do?
Surely, he is not going to refuse…
“I will join you,” he said suddenly.
Ophelia balked. “You will?”
“My work is not such that it cannot be put off for one day,” he said as he looked at her.
His brow was set. His tone was carefully spoken.
No emotion at all, as if this were a business decision.
“And after what happened yesterday, I…” He bit into his lip.
“Yes, I think it will be for the best. To ensure that you are both safe.”
It was a ridiculous worry to have. A walk through the park, with a chaperone, and even Adrian must have known that there would be no true danger. Not that Ophelia pointed such a thing out.
He wanted to spend time with her and Harriet; she saw that now. Just as he did not want to admit it. So, he was making excuses, whatever he needed to do, so that he could justify his decision and tell himself that it was his duty, rather than his desire.
“Yes,” Ophelia agreed, choosing to go along with his excuses. “That is for the best. One cannot be too careful.”
He nodded once and went back to his plate of food.
Ophelia said nothing, but she did not hide her smile.
Slowly, but surely, they were making progress in their marriage.
And if things continued this way, who knew where they might end up?
All that was needed was time and for Adrian to understand that it wasn’t a bad thing to care about those in your life.
All he needed was proof… a taste of what life might be…
and Ophelia would do whatever she could to give it to him.
“You do not have to stay so far back, you know.” Ophelia cocked an eyebrow at Adrian, hoping he would see the humor in it.
He frowned. “I am fine.”
She rolled her eyes. “Oh, I am sure that you are. I do wonder how you might protect me and Harriet from all the way over there…” She scoffed. “Is that not why you chose to join us? Seems a little counterproductive.”
Ophelia walked the stone path that wound through the public park.
She had a stroller, with Harriet tucked in safe and sound, and together they enjoyed what a rather gorgeous day was.
The sun shone brightly overhead, not a cloud in the sky, and there were dozens of people spread throughout the park taking advantage of the day as they were both doing.
Adrian, on the other hand, did not look as if he was enjoying himself nearly so much.
He walked back a little and several feet across. He was so careful about getting too close, and even more careful about giving off the appearance that he was having a good time. Never mind the lack of conversation! That might come eventually, but not until he relaxed.
“Oh, come over here.” Ophelia shook her head and waved him closer. “You are allowed to walk beside us, you know. In fact, it is encouraged.”
“I…” He clicked his tongue before looking around the park as if to make certain that nobody was watching them. “Yes, you are right. I am sorry.”
She laughed as he came in beside her. Still not too close, not so that they might link arms. But he was now just one foot away, which was a huge improvement.
She eyed him with healthy skepticism. It was funny to think that less than two weeks ago, he had taken her to a ball, had danced with her, had been open to enjoying himself and having fun.
He had not seemed to care that others would see them together, or that they might judge.
After all, he was not one who cared about anything.
But something had happened since that evening. A shock to his senses, like a cold bucket of water being thrown over his head and snapping him back into reality. He had lowered his walls for a moment, had enjoyed himself, and had then raised them quickly because such change was not his way.
Slow and steady was the new approach. As luck has it, I have nothing but time.
“There,” she said as they started walking together again. “Isn’t that better?”
“It is fine,” he said stiffly.
She scoffed. “I would ask if you were enjoying yourself, but I do not see the point. A good thing that Harriet is.” She indicated Harriet, who wore a bright and curious smile as she looked at them both.
She had been that way since they arrived, taking in and enjoying her new world.
“Isn’t she adorable?” Ophelia asked. “Oh, that smile…”
Adrian looked down at the baby. He did his best to hold onto his severe expression. But as Harriet giggled, as she enjoyed the sight of him so close and watching her, a smile slowly pulled at the side of his lips.
“She is rather cute, isn’t she?” Adrian said, leaving the smile.
“She is that,” Ophelia agreed. “Far too cute by half. Just imagine how adorable she will be when –” Her words caught in her throat, and she had to force them down.
“When she what?”
“Nothing,” Ophelia dismissed. “Forget I said anything.”
She had been about to comment on what Harriet would look like when she grew into a little girl.
Only, by then, Harriet would be with her true father, no longer a part of Ophelia’s life.
It was a painful realization to have, and Ophelia tried desperately not to think about it.
And while she knew that growing so close to the child was dangerous, she simply could not bring herself to treat her as anything other than her own.
But she isn’t my own, nor will she ever be…
That, as much as anything, was why Ophelia determined that she had to make this marriage work.
It might never be a love match, but it could be companionable, even comfortable, and something to cherish.
Harriet would not be in her life forever, but Adrian would be, so he was who she needed to focus on for now.
“Ophelia…” Adrian’s voice was soft. “Even when we find Harriet’s true father, I am sure that you and her will still see one another.”
“Oh, I… maybe.” Her throat tightened. “Either way, I am just happy to have time with her now. That will be enough.”
“No,” he said. “It won’t be.” She glanced at him and was surprised to see how serious he had become. “Her father ought to be grateful for what you have done, and I will make sure that he knows that you will be a part of her life.”
“You do not have to do that.”
“I want to,” he said. “As I will do. I promise you that much.”
As was the case so often, Ophelia found herself looking at Adrian as if she did not know him. Just as he could be closed off and cold, he could be so generous and understanding. There was so much good in him, so much life and warmth, and she only wished that he would let it out.
“Thank you,” she said, smiling so he could see it. “I would like that.”
He said nothing, but his short smile was enough to tell her that he appreciated her words and that he liked how happy he had made her.
They walked together in silence for a few more minutes. Not that it was as awkward as the last time. Adrian noticeably relaxed, he walked right by her, and he did not shy away or look embarrassed by the people who saw them together; no longer thinking that he was doing something wrong.
So many times, Ophelia wanted to start a conversation, but she did not know what to say. It was a tightrope that they walked, and one wrong thing said might just drive him away.
Thankfully, she was saved from having to do or say anything when she heard someone cry out her name.
“Ophelia!” The voice swept from behind them, a high-pitched squeal that Ophelia recognized immediately.
She beamed and spun about, her smile continuing to grow as Adelaide came charging down the path for them. Behind her hurried a young woman, her outfit suggesting that she was her chaperone, and the look on her face implying that she was not one to listen to her objections.
“Oh, Adelaide!” Ophelia opened her arms wide as Adelaide reached her. “It is so good to see you.”
“As it is you.” Adelaide hugged her, laughing all the while. When she pulled back, she was out of breath and red in the face. “I am sorry for the theatrics; please forgive me.”
Ophelia laughed. “Not at all. In fact, such things are encouraged. You remember my husband…” She indicated to Adrian who stood stiffly.
“Your Grace,” Adelaide bowed. “So nice to see you again.”
“As it is you.”
“Miss Adelaide…” The chaperone reached them, out of breath and bent over. “Please, do not run off like that.”
“I will do as I please,” she said to the chaperone rightly.
“Just do not tell father,” she added with a grin as she turned back to Ophelia.
“I was surprised to see you. Well, not you, but both of you.” She looked at Adrian with a knowing smirk.
“Although I suppose such things are not so strange. The way you danced at the ball last week…” Her eyes glazed over.
“Tell me, when will I find a man who treats me like that?”
“Oh, you will,” Ophelia laughed. “Even if Adrian is one of a kind.” She grinned at Adrian and he frowned awkwardly in response.
“You must invite me over soon.” Adelaide took her by the hands. “I would so love to see your home. And look at this one!” Her attention turned to Harriet, and she bent over to put her face close; Harriet giggled happily. “Gosh, she is adorable. Look at that smile.”
“She is, isn’t she.”
“The three of you…” Adelaide stood back up and looked between them. “You make a very handsome family.”
Ophelia grimaced, worried that such a comment might unseat her husband.
However, a quick glance at Adrian and she saw that he did not shy away or revolt.
Rather, the comment had him tilting his head, lost in thought, looking from Harriet to Ophelia with a curious expression that she could not quite read.
At least he is not dismissing it outright. That is something.
“Miss Adelaide…” Her chaperone cleared her throat. “We really must be –”
“Yes, yes,” she cut the chaperone off with a wave of her hand. “I just wished to see my friend. Write to me, Ophelia.” She took her hands. “And invite me over as soon as you can.”
“I will,” Ophelia said. “So long as my husband allows it.”
“It is fine,” Adrian said. “It is good to have friends. Encouraged, even.”
Adelaide laughed. “How you found this one…” A sigh and a shake of the head. “Some of us are just lucky, I guess.”
Adelaide made her goodbyes before practically being dragged away by her chaperone.
Once she was gone, Ophelia waited for Adrian to do or say something that might dismiss her friend’s earlier comments.
No doubt he did not like hearing her observation, and no doubt he wished to confirm the fact with Ophelia.
Only…
“Shall we continue?” he asked as he stepped close to her once more.
“Oh.” She blinked. “You do not wish to return home?”
“Only if you do.”
“No.” She smiled so that he might see it. “Not yet. Let us do another lap first. The day is too nice to waste.”
“I agree,” he said. “Another lap. Harriet is clearly enjoying herself, so what is the rush?”
“There isn’t one.”
They started walking together, side-by-side, so close that if Ophelia wished it, she could have linked her arm with Adrian’s.
She did no such thing, even if she felt as if he might not object that time.
But such things should not be rushed, time was on their side, and Ophelia intended to take her time as it was needed.
The path they walked was finally the right one, headed in the right direction, and unless something dramatic should happen that might push them from it, Ophelia was all but certain that soon things between her and Adrian would be the best they ever had been.
A low bar, yes, but still one to strive for.