Chapter 2 #2
Those eyes, they held her, pulling her toward him.
He wasn’t looking at her but through her, as if he could see what she was thinking and how she felt.
The fear vanished, replaced by an understanding that he and she shared the same reservations as one another.
For the first time, Penelope wondered if this marriage might not be so bad…
that her husband might not be the beast she imagined.
“He’s handsome, yes?” her father whispered out the corner of his mouth.
He was that too. Penelope gave her head a shake, heart pounding, but unable to deny what her father said.
Dark and intimidating, there was no denying it.
But that darkness was alluring in a way that Penelope could not describe just as she did not understand.
She hated that it had come to this yet felt a slight slither of gratitude because she could see in her husband more than what people said.
There is something about him… an edge… hidden and guarded… but guarded from what?
Then those green eyes narrowed. The duke turned his back on her and the illusion was shattered.
The rest of the ceremony was a strange affair by Penelope’s estimate. It felt as if she was watching from afar, unable to control her body or do anything but what she was told.
She stood beside the duke who did not look at her once.
She listened to the minister as he proceeded with the ceremony.
She glanced sideways at the duke, noting how determined he was not to see her.
The minutes dragged but somehow also rushed.
Before long, they were being announced as man and wife.
And when they were, she was offered little more than a nod from her husband as if in confirmation.
As to what happened next? I can hardly recall.
People pulled her into hugs and kisses. Congratulations were given. Laughter was had. And all the while, she tried to find her husband who had since removed himself from the front of the church.
She had no desire to be here, to be married, to spend her life with a man who she did not know and did not want to know. And from the little she could see of His Grace, he felt the exact same way about her.
Her brows pulled into a frown. Truly, a most auspicious start.
By the time Penelope arrived at Blackfort Estate, she knew beyond a doubt that this marriage would be everything she had expected. That was to say, not one to be envied, much less delighted in.
Her husband had not spoken a single word to her at the wedding breakfast, held at her father’s home which thankfully was only an hour away by carriage.
He spent most of it outside, avoiding the crowds, acting as if this day had nothing to do with him.
And when it came time to leave, she was informed not by her husband but Albina’s husband, Joseph.
“Seriously?” Penelope had gaped when he told her that the duke was waiting for her in the carriage outside. “He’s… he is not even going to tell me himself?”
“He is tired, is all,” Joseph assured her, the sympathy evident on his face. “Please, Penelope, do not read too much into this.”
She snorted. “Read into what? My husband refuses to so much as speak to me. Perhaps I should be thrilled?”
The ride back to her new home was much the same.
The duke sat away from her, his large body turned to face the window, not so much as glancing in her direction when she climbed in. The atmosphere in the carriage was heavy and filled with tension and not once did Penelope think about breaking it.
If he does not want to speak with me, then I do not want to speak with him!
She spent much of the ride watching him, trying to deduce who this man was.
It was the way he sat in shadows that caught her attention, as if they formed around his body naturally; as if he somehow created them from nothing.
But when she saw his eyes, he did not look at her with malice or intimidation.
Rather, it was a type of sadness that she could not fathom for one so menacing.
Penelope might have been angry for how he treated her, but she decided against that also. If anything, she should have been thrilled. He wanted nothing from this marriage, and she was willing to give it. A true marriage of convenience, and that was how it would stay.
However, it was when they arrived at the estate that something changed.
Yes, Penelope was happy to be ignored. And yes, she was happy to tell herself that this was the best she could hope for. But when the duke walked ahead of her into their home, throwing back the doors and then walking sedately inside, that she came to realize this simply would not do.
To be treated with apathy is one thing. But to be treated as if I do not exist! No… I deserve better than that. And my so-called husband needs to know it.
“Excuse me!” Penelope said… shouted, as that was the only way her husband might notice her.
He was already halfway across the foyer, a stride which suggested he was determined to mount the staircase, power up its climb, and then vanish down the halls without so much as a word said.
The duke came to a sudden stop, turning slowly, a deep frown etched across his handsome face when he looked at her. “Yes?”
She blinked. “I… where are you going?”
“To my room.” He looked at her curiously, as if he was surprised that she was speaking to him.
“Your room?” She wore a look of bewilderment. “And what am I supposed to do?”
The duke bit into his lip and shut his eyes, giving his head a shake as he came into himself. “Yes… right. I should have…” He considered further, his brow furrowed tight. “My apologies, I should have said something.”
“And when should you have said it?” She folded her arms. “Now? In the carriage, perhaps? Any time after we married?”
“My meaning is, I should have told you that I will have the staff come to assist.” He looked about the large foyer as if expecting them to appear. “This is not my usual dwelling, and it slipped my mind to send word ahead.”
“Not your usual dwelling? What does that mean?”
“If you wait here, I will send someone down to attend you,” he answered, ignoring her question. “Any questions you have, they should be happy to help with. Is there anything else?”
Penelope could not help but gape at the man.
Is he serious? I understand that he wants this marriage no more than I do, but this is absurd! Surely, he can see that?
“And what of after that?” She was standing on the other side of the foyer, over a dozen feet separating them so she was forced to shout.
“What do you mean?”
“What do I…” Still, her expression was perplexed. “You are my husband. I am your wife. You… you do understand this?”
“Of course.”
“And this marriage.” She looked around the foyer, her confusion growing. “I understand that you likely did not wish for it, even if you agreed to such a thing. But that does not mean that… do you intend to ignore me from here on out?”
The duke studied her with curiosity. Was he surprised by the question? Or that she would dare ask him such a thing?
“I was led to believe that this would be a marriage of convenience,” he said at last.
“By whom?”
“That is not an answer.”
She blinked. “Well… yes, it is. But that does not mean we… we still need to discuss what is expected?”
“Expected?” He wore no emotion as he looked at her. “And what is expected, exactly?” Finally, he moved toward her. Long strides, cutting the distance between them in half in a matter of seconds.
In that moment, he was a mountain coming for her, and Penelope had to fight the urge to move back.
He was so big, his stride so powerful and assured, and she felt small and weak by comparison.
Her heart caught in her throat, and she thought he was going to move on her, push her back, do… she did not even know!
But he stopped short as if he was careful not to get too close.
“Well?” he pressed.
“I… I am not sure,” she said, feeling a little silly. But she was angry also, and she focused on that. “This might be a marriage of convenience but that does not mean… you and I… I wish to know what you expect.”
“There’s that word again.” He folded his arms and looked down at her. “Expect. Perhaps you should tell me what it is that you expect.”
“That is not how this is meant to go.”
“And you know this for fact?”
“I –” She caught her words. “We have just married –”
“You said that already.”
She levelled a glare at him. “But you are yet to tell me, this marriage, is this how it will be? You and I, pretending that the other does not exist?”
“Is that what you want?”
“I don’t know what I want,” she admitted, only to realize then that there was one thing she did want. One promise she had made to herself that she refused to be denied. “No, actually, there is one thing that I require.”
“Which is?”
“My father,” she said sternly, forcing the duke in her glare so he could see that she was not to be argued with.
“He is sick, and he needs me by his side as much as is possible. For that reason, I will be spending much time with him, days at a time I expect, and I would appreciate it if you would not try and stop me.”
Again, the duke studied her.
She fidgeted under his gaze, feeling exposed because she got the sense that he could see right through her. His stare was intense, discerning, and he held her in it as if a magnet force was pulling her.
“That is fine,” he said finally. “You may see your father as much as you wish.”
“Oh.” She blinked. “That is… thank you.”
“In fact, now that we are on the topic, here is what I expect from you.” A raised eyebrow, the tension mounting. “Nothing. Do as you wish when you wish it. All I ask is that you leave me alone.”
Penelope leaned back and frowned, confused and a little unsure by what he meant. “Leave you –”
“Alone,” he finished for her. “Do that and this marriage…. well, it won’t be happy.” He laughed bitterly. “But then again, it was never meant to be.” With that, the duke turned around and walked away.
Penelope was left staring at the back of the duke, and then the spot where he had just been. Her mouth hung open. Her heart was racing. Her confusion was at an all-time high.
What is… what does he… what on earth is going on?!
Again, Penelope tried to tell herself that she should have felt relief. Permission to see her father. The implication that she could do as she pleased. A marriage in name only to a man who if she so chose it, she might be able to avoid entirely.
And yet… now that there was no chance at all that anything might come of this marriage, she felt empty in ways she never had before and most certainly had never expected to.
Typically, the rest of the evening played out as she had come to expect.
The staff showed her to her room where she found her things already unpacked.
Next, supper was told to her that it would be ready shortly.
She bathed and dressed and presented herself at the dining room, unsurprised to find it empty, saddened and angry both because she saw now that the duke was not exaggerating in his request.
She wondered if she should go and find him… quickly dismissed because she wanted this. I do! The best of a bad situation. I should be thrilled!
And that night, the first night of her new life, she slept alone.
The morning sun brought with it the same emptiness as she had gone to bed with. Still, Penelope could not come to terms with this marriage, wanting to be relieved, unable to resign herself to the fact, caught in two minds and unable to find a path through them.
But for all the confusion she felt, it was nothing compared to the news she received when she arrived at the breakfast room.
“Your Grace.” The butler’s name was Walters, an elderly man with kind eyes and a kinder smile. “I have some news for you.”
“Oh?”
“It is…” He considered, wincing as he did so. “I spoke with His Grace earlier and there is something you must know. A most urgent message, as it is.”
She sighed as she wandered into the room, wondering what it might be this time. “I am sure there is,” she said as she took her seat. “Let me guess, His Grace asks that I move out? Perhaps live on a farm somewhere so he doesn’t have to look at me?”
“I am afraid not, Your Grace.” Walters hesitated, still looking unsure. “I have been told to inform you that His Grace has left for his country estate in the north.”
“He has?” She blinked slowly, frowned deeply, looked about as if expecting him to walk in. “When did he do this?”
“An hour ago,” Walters said. “Also, he made sure that I was to tell you that he will not be coming back.”
Penelope stared stupidly at Walters, searching for the joke, knowing at the same time it wasn’t coming. “I… I don’t understand. What do you mean he won’t be coming back?”
“It is His Grace’s permanent lodgings,” Walters explained. “He has lived there these past five years, having stayed beneath this roof for perhaps a handful of days at most. As I understand it, he has returned permanently without any plans of coming back.”
Penelope was rendered speechless.
She might have laughed. She might have cried. She might have demanded that Walters give her the address so she could write an angry letter. Still not understanding, still not knowing how she felt, Penelope sat in a state of stunned silence as her world and everything she knew rattled around her.
As she reckoned with this most bizarre news, a knock from the front door brought her back to reality.
A moment later and the sound of heavy footsteps coming toward her had Penelope turning, wondering for an inexplicable moment if it was her husband.
Her heart sank to see that it was a rider. No one she knew. But he carried a letter and even before she opened it, somehow, she knew what it would say.
Time stood still. Her mind left her body. The world vanished so that she was an empty vessel sitting on a lone chair, bereft of emotion or thought or feeling as everything she knew crashed around her completely.
She took the letter. She unfurled it. Read its contents.
A single tear dripped down her cheek. The letter fell from her hand.
She could hardly breathe. Hardly think. Again, the sense that this was not reality and that maybe, if she was lucky, she would wake up and this past day, this past month, would be a dream.
“Your Grace…” Walters’ voice cut gently through the darkness. “Is everything… is something the matter?”
“No,” she said without emotion, staring blankly across the room as she reckoned with the news the letter had brought. “My father. It seems that… he has…” Her chest tightened and she very nearly collapsed from the chair. “He has died.”