Chapter 17
Anastasia woke up when the sun was entirely above the horizon, shining brightly over the land, and the birds had started chirping.
By the time she dragged herself out of bed, the household had already moved on without her.
She told herself it was perfectly fine because she had nothing to be ashamed of. Everyone woke up late once in a while.
Except, of course, she did have something to be ashamed of.
Her mind and body raced back to the night before, how Benedict had kissed her senselessly, and that she had lost what was left of her propriety.
But he had not stopped there. He had decided to go the extra mile by using his mouth on her, something she was not experienced with and did not think was possible until he did it.
As if I were his.
She could remember how her legs and entire body trembled just by what he was doing to her. How he had made her feel was a sort of euphoria afterward that she had never experienced before.
Was that normal? She could not tell, and she did not care too much if it was not, because it had felt more amazing than anything she had ever felt.
And tangled somewhere between those memories was the shameful, dangerous truth: she had wanted him, and worse, she had even obeyed him.
No matter how much he spoke to her with words so deeply laced in disrespect, or how much he commanded her and then took her body as his, she still wanted him.
What if someone heard? What if someone saw?
She sat at the edge of her bed, burying her face in her hands.
“You are an utter fool for wanting to be owned by a man like him,” she muttered.
And yet, when she straightened, there was a smile tugging at her lips.
Fool she might be, but she had seen him crack.
She had seen the unshakable Benedict Straton lose control, and she would treasure that victory like a secret jewel.
Still, he deserved torment for daring to behave as if nothing had happened. Anastasia knew that was what he would do. He was so used to living such a double life that he would ignore her existence as if he had not just…
As if he has not risked ruining me.
She managed to shake the thoughts out of her head because once she started, there would be no stopping her. Well, if he thought he would glide through breakfast unscathed, he had another thing coming. She was not going to let him get away with toying with her and then ignoring her this time.
When she entered the breakfast room, it was filled with the fresh scent of bread, and everyone else was awake and chattering.
“Miss Dawson,” Cassian said. “You grace us with your presence at last!”
As predicted, Benedict was there at the head of the table, looking every inch the unyielding host, hands folded neatly, his expression that of impeccable calm. He was cracking open a boiled egg when she lowered herself down beside Cassian. Benedict barely even looked up to acknowledge her presence.
“You are up quite late, Anastasia,” her aunt said, stroking one of her dogs that was on her lap. Lupita, if she could judge by the way the canine was drooling over her mistress’s plate.
Anastasia quickly looked down at her hands, hoping her aunt would not see the shame so blatantly evident on her face.
“Yes, I think I had too much wine last night, and I had a hard time getting up,” she murmured.
Cassian was already pouring her a glass of water as she spoke. “Here, drink some water. It will make you feel better.”
She gave him a stiff smile and sipped her water, her eyes on Benedict. He looked infuriatingly calm. The man had kissed her until she had forgotten her own name, and now sat as if he had never in his life touched a woman.
“Thank you, Your Grace,” she said with a small smile.
If Benedict were going to ignore her, then she would make sure he felt her presence by any means necessary.
“Your Grace,” Anastasia started, her eyes never leaving Benedict. “I must say, the way you carve ham is quite extraordinary. I have never seen anything like this.”
Cassian froze, knife mid-air. He looked down at his knife and the ham on his plate, even surprised that there was anything remarkable about it.
Anastasia knew he understood the purpose of that comment because he chuckled and accepted the compliment with grace.
“Well, you see, Miss Dawson, ham cutting is one of my many talents. You seem to have a good eye for talent.”
Anastasia smiled. “I have been told so. Your skill is remarkable and truly exquisite,” she finished as though he had just revealed fluency in ten languages.
Amelia smiled, very amused as Sebastian watched with quiet interest.
“So, are all your talents very precious? Or is ham an exclusive specialty?”
Cassian grinned, quick as a fox. “I should be delighted to demonstrate the rest, Miss Dawson, if you grant me the opportunity.”
Anastasia laughed, delighted at how swiftly he had taken the bait.
Benedict’s fork scraped violently against his plate, clearly annoyed by what was happening.
It felt exhilarating to see how angry he was and how helpless.
And Anastasia, wicked creature that she was, found herself wanting to push him harder.
“Miss Dawson, be wary,” Sebastian murmured dryly as he inspected the contents of his teacup.
“I do believe Cassian intends to lure you into the kitchen through promises of such a demonstration. To be fair, it can be a surprising affair. You would think he would bore you with his flirtations, but he would actually do something even duller, such as lecturing you about game hens.”
“Sebastian, do not spoil the fun just because you are already married,” the dowager chastised, even though she was evidently pleased. “Let the unmarried ones have their flirtations. I am sure it would be far more entertaining than Benedict’s estate budgets.”
Then, she leaned in toward Anastasia, dropping her voice to a conspiratorial tone. “Dearest, I think the Duke needs the excitement and irritation, whatever he may call it.”
Benedict squeezed his eyes shut and set down his fork with an audible clink, which was absolutely against the rules. His rules. His eyes seemed bent on sticking their gaze on his plate, but he was well aware of everything that was going on.
“My composure is perfectly intact, as usual. I hate to disappoint everyone. I am merely amazed at how ham carving has captivated most of the household,” he said grimly.
“Most, not all?” Anastasia asked in a syrupy-sweet voice. She dared to look him in the eye. “So, you are not impressed, Your Grace?”
“Cassian’s methods may be charming,” he replied, looking back at her coolly. “But I find extravagance in things that do not concern me and my goals.”
“I assure you, Frostmore, that my methods are charming,” Cassian retorted with a laugh. “Miss Dawson, perhaps we may discuss the proper techniques one must apply for cheese cutting later? If you are not ready for ham cutting, cheese cutting is certainly the best way to start.”
Anastasia laughed.
“I would be delighted,” she said, smirking. “You have not begun your lecture, and I am already fascinated. At the moment, I am also incredibly stuffed, and the thought of ham or cheese would only aggravate my current situation.”
The rest of the breakfast went by with Anastasia having a fun conversation with Cassian, and him indulging her through every story she made up. It ended in a blur of laughter and knife-sharp silences, though Anastasia was fairly certain the latter belonged almost exclusively to Benedict.
When breakfast was done, and Anastasia felt completely stuffed, Amelia leaned closer to her and suggested a stroll through the gardens.
She quickly accepted with what could only be described as unladylike relief.
She had been stuck in the house with Benedict and her aunt for as long as she could remember, and spending time with another human being, especially one who was female, was what she had needed all this time.
The ladies grabbed their shawls because it was a bit chilly this morning and made their way toward the gardens.
“Come, Your Grace, I will give you a tour of the gardens,” Anastasia offered, smiling.
“Please do not call me that; it just makes me feel so terribly old,” the Duchess of Firaine said as she linked her arm with Anastasia’s. “Besides, I have heard so much about you that I feel as if I know you already. Call me Amelia.”
“All right, Amelia. I hope you will not get too tired with our stroll in your condition. Frostmore’s gardens are quite vast.”
“Oh, not at all. Some exercise is much needed. Sebastian does not let me move too much.” Amelia smiled. “So, tell me. Is this the popular garden where Lord Chamberlain fell into a pond?”
Anastasia gasped, her smile falling. “You heard the news, too? Please do not tell me it has spread.”
She threw her head back and laughed. “Oh, hopefully not. Sebastian happened to tell me about it.”
Anastasia frowned. “I am noticing a pattern with these men. Do they share everything with each other?”
Amelia nodded. “I did, too, notice that when I started… courting Sebastian. It seems they gossip even more than we women do.”
Anastasia scrunched her face. “How shocking. I would never have imagined Ben… His Grace to participate in such improper and unproductive activities.”
“I agree. But to be fair, I have a guilty pleasure of participating in it. Men always have the best gossip, and it is always a shame not to partake.”
Anastasia laughed. “I suppose you are right.”
She had barely been talking to Amelia for the better part of five minutes before she decided that she really liked the woman.
She was someone Anastasia secretly admired.
She was married to a man who adored her, and now they were expecting a child together.
The fact that she was Serenity’s dear friend made her feel like family immediately.
For that, she was thankful. In her case, family did not mean comfort and support, especially after her scandal.