Chapter 29
Seated on the steps of one of the many porches of Fitzroy Manor, Cassian gently shifted when Cecilia came to sit beside him. The evening air hung golden and still, as if the world itself had paused for the moment.
“To think, by this time tomorrow, you will be halfway across the channel.”
“Yes,” he murmured as he gazed into the sunset that painted the sky in shades of amber and rose.
She tucked herself sweetly against his side, her head coming to rest on his shoulder. “I’ve been meaning to ask. Is this something you want to do, or is it something you must do?”
“Must,” he replied softly. “I have a wanderlust that doesn’t feel it can ever be satiated.”
Cecilia leaned a little closer and asked, “Do you have a plan on where you are going to go, or are you simply going to wander?”
He breathed in the familiar, freshly scented grass. Just the same as all those many years ago. “Hm. I have a few places that I must see, but beyond that, I will be drifting,” he replied.
A swift breeze lifted her hair, and he spotted the soft tilt of her coral lips. “The temples of Greece, the ruins of Rome, sailing down the Tiber, the castles and cathedrals of Spain, taking the trails through the forests of Monaco…”
He tilted his head to the sky, “Cecilia, tomorrow is the last day for you to sign your ticket to freedom. Can you promise me you will do so?”
“I can only promise that I will think on it,” she answered softly.
“That means no,” he pointed out.
Maybe it does.
“Cassian…” She nibbled her lip. “How did you feel when you were in love?”
“With Isabella?”
No… not with her. But if it gets you to tell me, since I cannot find the courage to say how much I love you–
“…Yes.”
He stared off into the distant meadows. “To be true, I thought I loved her, but I know now that I did not.”
The first question on the tip of her tongue was, how do you know the difference between then and now? She held back on those words, only for a moment. If there was any time to be brave with her emotions, it was now. He was leaving, possibly for perpetuity.
“How do you know the difference?” she asked innocently, her heart hammering under her breastbone.
Cassian opened his mouth, then closed it, and she could feel him reconsidering his words. “I suppose it is my jaded nature juxtaposed with the na?ve man I was back then... I realize I’d confused her care and attention with what love was.”
Her heart plummeted. He feels nothing for me.
“Though I don’t think love has one face,” he continued, startling her. “It may be the calf eyes and sonnets at midnight for some, but for others, acts of service and sacrifice may be love. Guarding and providing from afar may be love… or letting someone go free from an untenable situation.”
Cassian shrugged a single shoulder. “Irrespective, love and desire need not go hand in hand.”
Cecilia found herself confused—what was he saying?
Then he shifted his head, and the pure want she found in his gaze made that wonder fade to the back of her mind. Tingles of desire and anxiety ran up her spine and she licked her lips.
“I know one thing, I damn well desire you, and that is never going to change,” his voice dipped.
The air took a sudden turn that it stole her breath, and she held still as he framed her jaw, holding her still for his kiss. His mouth possessed hers with firm, scintillating sensuality that had her letting her desire lead over her logic.
She parted her lips for his tongue, moaning as he explored her mouth, saturating her senses with his hot touch and drugging scent. He kissed her as if she was his… because she was his, even if only she knew it. Beneath the demanding flame of his kiss, she melted into pure sensation.
Breaking away, Cassian stood and took her hands before easing her to her feet. “Come with me.”
She gazed at him, dazed still, “Where are we going?”
“To my rooms,” he smiled conspiratorially. “I want to share one more night with you. Unless… It was your first time, and I could have been gentler.”
She shook her head immediately. “You were perfect, and I loved every moment of being with you.”
By the time Cecilia stepped into the bathing room, Cassian was already in the tub, eyes closed, head leaning back against the lip.
He was utterly obscene like this—all that golden skin on display, dark hair plastered to his forehead.
Her mouth watered a little as the firelight licked the taut ridges of his chest.
The planes of his rigid torso stood out against the faded, bare wooden walls; his sinewy arms were draped along the edge, his broad shoulders gleaming in the cozy firelight.
The pale, sudsy water lapped indecently low across his hips, and even through the foam she could see the dark trail of hair that disappeared beneath the surface.
Gadz, he is a work of art, she thought with hot pride. And he was mine.
The ‘was’ in that last thought had her eyes flooding again, but she quickly rubbed them with the soles of her hands. She refused to waste these precious moments drowning in sorrow.
His eyes opened suddenly, and he twisted his head, his gaze colliding with hers. The mist in those grey depths made her breath catch with longing. As if he were simultaneously a few yards away, and yet halfway across the earth. There was no hesitancy as his grin shone through.
“It’s about time you joined me,” he purred seductively. “Why are you still dressed?”
Hesitantly, she unfastened the tie of her robe and allowed the silken material to ghost down her shoulders and puddle at her feet.
His sharp intake of breath was gratifying, as was the way his gaze raked over her naked body—lingering on her breasts, her hips, the curve of her thighs—the undisguised want.
He sat up, and fire pulsed through her as she took in the hair-whorled planes of his chest, the stack of muscles bulging beneath as he reached out for her.
Water sluiced down his sinewy frame as he rose like a pagan god and guided her into the water.
As she steeped in the fragrant lemongrass suds, she straddled his lap and felt his hard member under her thigh.
Instantly, he claimed her mouth, kissing her until she was breathless. Molded to him, she fed him soft sighs and needy whimpers. Propping his knees up, he hoisted her closer so he could suck a pebbled nipple into his mouth.
His hands slid up and down her body, his touches rough and stimulating over her sleek lines and soft curves. As he continued his feast down her body, all Cecilia could feel was the weight of his pending departure.
The pleasure he was giving her melded with the burgeoning pain in her chest to brew a bittersweet ache in her blood.
“I need you, my forever sin.” The raw desperation in his voice washed over her and tightened her belly. “Let me have you.”
Feeling the urgent weight of his desire pulsing under her thigh, she met her husband’s fervent gaze. She whispered the truth in her heart. “I’m already yours.”
Claiming her thighs with his hands, he spread her wide in open reverence, a finger sliding between them. Stroking along her slick heat, he made a low, hungry groan—a sound of pure male satisfaction at feeling her so wet, so ready for him.
He found her pearl, rubbing it as he ate at her mouth; he sank a finger inside her, and she moaned. The water lapped against the sides of the tub with their movements, coaxing gentle waves that caressed her heated skin.
“Please,” she breathed against his lips, the word half plea, half prayer.
His eyes darkened with primal need. Gripping her hips, he lifted her slightly, positioning himself at her entrance. She felt the blunt pressure of him, hot and insistent even in the warm water.
“Look at me,” he commanded roughly, and she obeyed, her gaze locking with his as he slowly lowered her onto his length.
The sensation of him filling her, stretching her, made her gasp. Water displaced around them, sloshing gently as she sank down, taking him deeper. His jaw clenched, a muscle ticking there as he fought for control.
“Devil, you feel like heaven,” he groaned, his fingers digging into the soft flesh of her hips.
She began to move, rising and falling in a rhythm as old as time. The water added a silken resistance, making each movement deliberate. His hands guided her, helped her find the angle that made stars burst behind her eyes.
The firelight cast dancing shadows across his face as he watched her with an intensity that stole her breath. One hand left her hip to cup her breast, his thumb circling her nipple in time with her movements.
“That’s it, sweetheart,” he murmured, his accent thickening with desire. “Take what you need from me.”
She did, riding him with increasing urgency as pleasure coiled tighter in her belly.
The water grew choppy with their passion, splashing over the edge of the tub now, but neither of them cared.
His other hand slipped between them, finding that sensitive pearl again and circling it with expert precision.
“Cassian, I—” she whimpered, her rhythm faltering as delirious sensation overwhelmed her.
“I’ve got you,” he promised, taking control. He thrust up into her, each stroke deliberate and deep, while his fingers worked her pearl relentlessly. “Let go for me, enchantress. Let me feel you…”
The dual assault was too much. Pleasure crested over her in waves, pulling her under. She cried out his name as her body clenched around him, trembling with the force of her release. Her vision darkened, and the next instant, she was out of the tub, being carried, his primal instinct taking over.
He rose so quickly that she squealed at first, instinctively grabbing at him as he stepped out and as he shook them like a rain-soaked wolf.
“Grab that towel,” he instructed her in a low baritone as they passed a tall cupboard.