Chapter Eighteen
Serena awoke the day before the ball with her mind still reeling. She had been fortunate enough to share another moment with Rowan, identical to their first accidental encounter in the library. Identical, that is, except that unlike the first time, she had been brave enough to broach the subject of their arranged marriage, and he had been brave enough to open up to her.
She was glad that she now knew what had happened to the late duke, and she was beginning to understand the impact his death had on Rowan. It explained what his mother had said about him living as a hermit for so long, and it helped her see why he was often aloof and distant.
However, as glad as she was that he had chosen to share some things with her, that he seemed to be beginning to trust her, she could not shake the feeling that there was still part of himself that he was holding back. She did not doubt that what he’d told her was the truth. She was just sure that it wasn’t the entire truth. She was glad for the progress. And she felt a little guilty, as though she was being greedy, because she wanted to make more progress, and quickly.
With a sigh, she had Christine quickly help her dress, choosing a green morning dress and green slippers. She knew she had a big day ahead of her, and she was ready within an hour of summoning her lady’s maid. She needed to set aside her thoughts of her husband and focus on continuing to learn her duties and prepare to host her first ball.
Yet as she oversaw the last-minute preparations for the party, instructing the household staff on where to put the floral arrangements and how to set up the refreshment tables, her thoughts kept drifting back to her husband. The mystery surrounding their arranged marriage was like something out of a novel. In those kinds of stories, the newly married couple always found that they shared many common interests, and they built relationships that ended with the two of them being madly in love with one another. She could not say if that would end up being the case with her and her husband. But one thing she did know that was true of both fiction and her own marriage. There were still secrets. And she wanted to know what they were.
“Sister,” called a voice from the ballroom doorway.
Serena whirled around to see a sheepish looking butler and a beaming Julian. She mumbled something to the servants about continuing to hang decorations, then rushed over to her brother, throwing herself into his arms.
“Julian,” she said as her brother embraced her.
The siblings held each other for a moment before Julian finally released her.
“You are looking well, Serena,” he said, kissing her forehead.
Serena smiled up at him, overjoyed to see him. His familiar presence was instantly comforting, easing the anxious thoughts about her enigmatic husband.
“Come,” she said, taking her brother’s hand. “Let us have some tea.”
She gestured to a maid to fetch them refreshments, and the young woman dashed away immediately. She sat Julian down next to her on the sofa, holding his hands in hers.
“How have you been?” she asked, unable to stop smiling at her brother.
Julian chuckled.
“You act as though it’s been six years, rather than six days, since we saw one another,” he said.
Serena giggled.
“Yes, well I suppose in some ways, it feels that way,” she said.
Julian’s expression fell and his eyes grew concerned.
“How has the Duke been treating you?” he asked. “He has not done anything to make you uncomfortable, has he?”
Serena shook her head firmly, patting her brother’s hands reassuringly.
“Not at all, Brother,” she said. “He treats me very well. We have even had very lovely conversations as of late, and he seems to be opening up to me a bit. Although I still have not been able to get a direct answer about why he chose me to marry.”
Julian nodded, pausing as two maids brought out the trays. When they departed, he spoke again.
“I have been speaking with Father,” he said, dropping his voice low. “I told him that I wished to know why he would so suddenly marry you off when you were in the prime position to marry any gentleman you wished.”
Serena’s eyes widened. She should have known that Julian would be doing everything to get answers for her, as well, even though she now lived with Rowan as his duchess. But she was still surprised, and she dared to hope that she would finally know the truth.
“What did he say?” she asked.
Julian sighed, shaking his head.
“He is unwilling to discuss the matter further, even with me,” he said. “The only thing he said is what he said to you, about how you will see that it is for the best.”
Serena shook her head, feeling her hopes sink once more. Her unease increased exponentially. But so did her determination to find out the truth. No matter which of them told her first.
“It’s all so strange,” she said. “I did not even know Rowan before my debut ball. And yet, Father acts as though he has known him, and known of this plan, for ages.”
Julian shook his head, putting his arm around her shoulders.
“I do not think there was any long-running plan,” he said. He paused, holding up a finger. “At least, not where Father is concerned. But it is odd that the Duke was set on marrying you and would not take no for an answer as if he has known you for quite some time.”
Serena nodded.
“Precisely,” she said. She was disappointed that their father refused to tell Julian his reasons for marrying her off to Rowan. But she could hardly say that she was surprised. Even though Julian was a man, he was also her brother. The earl no doubt knew that with the close bond the siblings shared, anything he told Julian would be reported directly to Serena.
Julian tightened his arm around her, giving her a gentle, loving shake.
“Come now, Sister,” he said. “Your smile was so brilliant when I first arrived. Let us see it return. Do not fret about something if you are finding happiness. Let me worry about continuing to see what I can find out.”
Serena nodded. Julian always comforted her, even if he didn’t have solutions to her problems. She leaned into him, putting her head on his shoulder.
“Tell me a joke to uplift me, Brother,” she said.
Julian looked down at her and grinned.
“Have you heard the one about how much a white bear weighs?” he asked.
The siblings laughed.
***
“Serena, darling, you look absolutely radiant,” the dowager said as Serena descended the stairs later that evening. Christine had helped her into a rich purple silk evening gown with matching gloves, reticule, hat, and slippers. She smiled at her mother-in-law as she embraced her, noticing over her shoulder that she and Rowan were inadvertently matched. He was wearing a purple velvet suit of the exact same shade as her gown, with a paler purple cravat and boots that matched the flowing silk material. She released the dowager with a kiss on her cheek, stepping toward her husband’s outstretched hand.
“I have never agreed with Mother more than I do now,” Rowan said, smiling warmly at her. “You look lovely.”
Serena blushed, unable to deny how handsome Rowan was.
“You look rather dashing yourself, Rowan,” she said shyly.
Rowan offered both of the women an arm and escorted them to the carriage that would take them to Louisa and Harry’s for dinner. This time, however, she was not nervous. She was excited for the evening ahead of them since her fruitful conversation with Rowan. She knew there was still more to uncover with him. But that night, she felt closer to him than ever before.
When they arrived, they were greeted warmly by the couple in the grand hall.
“Welcome,” Louisa said, opening her arms to embrace her family.
“Thank you for having us, my darling,” Eleanor said, kissing her daughter on both cheeks as the men greeted one another.
Harry smiled, offering Louisa his arm.
“Please, follow us,” he said. “Dinner is being served as we speak.”
The trio followed behind the expecting parents. Serena watched with a warm heart as Louisa rested her head comfortably on Harry’s arm. Harry stopped to kiss his wife atop her head before continuing onto the dining room. Their love and affection for one another was very apparent, as was Louisa’s radiance in her pregnancy. Serena had once longed for those things for herself. But in that moment, she was merely happy for the bliss that her new friends, her new family, shared with one another.
“Tell me, Daughter, how goes the pregnancy thus far?” the dowager asked as they seated themselves at the dining table.
Louisa beamed, her smile lighting up the entire room.
“Our physician says that everything is just perfect,” she said. “I feel wonderful, apart from a couple of sick mornings. And we have already begun remodeling one of our large guest suites into a nursery.”
Harry grinned, nodding.
“I myself intend to lend a hand to the actual construction,” he said. “I want nothing but the best of perfection for my firstborn.”
Serena smiled at the undiluted joy of her friends. Their happiness brightened the entire atmosphere as they shared their excitement about the impending arrival of their child.
Throughout dinner, Serena observed the easy rapport between the couple. Every interaction, every hand brush and word spoken in unison displaying more of the doting affection they had for one another.
“Harry has been so thoughtful, Mother,” Louisa said, interrupting Serena’s thoughts. “He has a red rose picked for me every single day since we found out that I am with child. And he ensures that the kitchen staff prepares any foods that I am craving, even if he does not like them.”
Harry blushed, but his smile widened.
“I would do anything for my wife and child,” he said. “The two of you are my entire world, and there is nothing that makes me happier than to please you both.”
Louisa laughed, patting her husband’s hand.
“If you are not careful, you will have this child spoiled to no end,” she said.
Harry puffed out his chest, his grin widening further still.
“If I am lucky,” he said.
Serena sighed softly to herself at the display of support between the pair. They understood each other seemingly without words much of the time, and there was no question of their devotion to one another. It was the kind of relationship she longed to have with Rowan. She wanted a deep connection built on trust, love and the same understanding that Louisa and Harry shared.
As the third course of the meal was served, Louisa turned to Serena and smiled.
“How are you faring in your new role as duchess?” she asked. “You certainly look as radiant as ever. It would seem your status agrees with you.”
Serena blushed, shrugging sheepishly.
“Eleanor has been a blessing in teaching me the things I must know,” she said. “I believe I would be utterly lost without her guidance.”
Louisa smiled fondly at her mother and nodded.
“Mother is an excellent teacher,” she said. “She raised me well enough that I was able to find a husband such as Harry. I always dreamed of having a family of my own. And like you, without Mother’s guidance, I do not believe I would have earned such fortune.”
Serena smiled. She, too, had long dreamed of having a husband who she adored, who adored her in return, and of having children of her own. Just days prior, her heart would have been saddened with the certainty that she was never destined for those things. But after her recent conversations with Rowan and the delicate but clear bond they were forming with one another, she thought there might be hope for a family, as well as a loving marriage.
Moreover, she could see a kindred spirit in Louisa, a woman who found having a family as important as she did. She was thrilled more than ever to have inherited such a wonderful sisterly figure in whom she was sure she could confide.
“You are very fortunate, indeed,” she said, smiling fondly at Louisa. “And I cannot think of anyone more deserving than you.”
Louisa blushed, waving her hand humbly.
“Oh, darling, you are too kind,” she said. “And I want you to know that you can talk to me any time. I know that with your new title, as well as a new marriage, you must feel overwhelmed. I understand what that is like, and I would be happy to mentor you, or just offer you sympathy, or perhaps a little tea and gossip, whenever you need.”
Serena laughed as her sister-in-law gave her a conspiratorial wink.
“That is most gracious of you, Louisa,” she said. “I am grateful for the offer.”
But despite the lighthearted conversation and the feeling of belonging and acceptance that was rapidly settling upon Serena, her mind was still preoccupied with thoughts of the secrets that seemed to surround her marriage. She did not know if Louisa knew, although she felt that the pregnant woman must have some idea, since she was Rowan’s sister.
She longed to have a moment alone with her husband to continue the progress they had made in the library and to begin breaking through the walls he had built around his heart. And as she watched Louisa and Harry and the happiness they had created in their home, her resolve to get to the truth only grew stronger.