Chapter 15
“Thank you for agreeing to this, by the way,” Gabriel said, the first words he’d spoken since they climbed in the carriage twenty minutes earlier.
“That is quite fine,” Sophia said. “I am happy to do it.”
“But you did not want to?” he challenged her.
“That would imply I had an opinion on the matter,” she said politely. “In truth, I saw no reason to say no, so I said yes.”
He chuckled. “A perfectly agreeable answer.”
“Just being truthful.”
“It’s funny, but a part of me hoped you might have lied. Or even said no,” he shrugged. “Just to prove that you could.”
She looked at him flatly. “Is everything a test for you? Is that why you invited me tonight? Because you wanted me to turn you down?”
“As I have told you time and again, Sophia, I want you to do whatever you desire. Say yes, say no, so long as you are happy with your decision.”
Sophia narrowed her eyes at Gabriel.
They had been married for a full week now, and she was still struggling to figure her husband out. On the surface, he appeared honest enough, and he always told her what he was thinking and what he wanted. But she sensed too that there was more to it than he was letting on.
It is as if he wants me to be upset with him. As if he wants me to fight. He says he wishes for me to be happy and free, to make my own decisions, but I doubt that it entirely the case.
It had been this way all week. Gabriel watching her, waiting for her to do something that he could comment on. Was he trying to trick her? To trap her somehow? Or did he really just want her to be happy?
“I was glad to say yes,” she ended up saying, after which she turned and looked out the window. “Otherwise, I would have said no.”
He just laughed. “And yet, I don’t believe a word of it.”
Tonight was the first night that Sophia and Gabriel would be spending together since their wedding day. For most couples, this would be seen as a big occasion, and one to look forward to. For Sophia and Gabriel, however, it felt like an imposition.
It was ironic that Gabriel was so insistent that Sophia do as she pleased without worrying about the consequences, because she knew for a fact that Gabriel had no desire to attend tonight’s event. She knew it because he had told her.
“I have no choice,” he had sighed when he first explained what was expected. “Alas, even dukes must sometimes keep up appearances.”
“I did not think you cared for such things,” she had responded simply.
“Where there is money to be made, I always care,” was his response.
A business partner of Gabriel’s had invited him to an evening party at his home in London.
Gabriel guessed there would be upwards of twenty people there, most of whom would be members of the gentry, but some lords and ladies also.
Gabriel did not like this man, he did not admire him, but their finances were entwined in ways that her husband did not elaborate on, merely implying that to not go would be seen as rude, which might end their business relationship altogether.
“Just be yourself tonight,” Gabriel said as they felt the carriage starting to slow down. “That’s all I ask.”
She very nearly said that she would, only for a better answer to reach her. “I will be whoever I wish.”
“Good answer,” he laughed.
There turned out to be upwards of thirty people attending the party.
They spread throughout the well-proportioned home, standing in small groups as they drank and snacked and laughed among themselves.
As expected, when Gabriel and Sophia entered the home, everyone stopped what they were doing and all eyes turned on them.
“Your Grace!” The host of the party was Mr. Samuel Jones, and he walked with his arms spread and a gallant smile spread across his round face. “You made it.”
“I said I would do,” Gabriel responded with apathy.
“I never doubted it for a moment. And this must be your lovely wife.” He took her hand immediately and gave it a wet kiss.
As he did, his eyes held her, and Sophia felt her skin crawl because there was something unpleasant about this man.
Something slimy and sickly. “It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance.”
“As it is yours,” she said, pulling her hand free.
“Tell me,” Mr. Jones then began as he led them through the home and toward the drawing room where the bulk of the party was taking place. “How is married life treating you both?”
“As good as one could expect,” Gabriel answered simply.
Mr. Jones laughed. “I never had much love for the concept myself. More of a bachelor.” He made sure to wink at Sophia, who frowned at the action.
“And as a bachelor, I assume the alcohol is free flowing?” Gabriel asked.
Now that they were married, Gabriel did not bother with the charade of pretending he and Sophia were in love.
He did not hold her arm, he did not stand close, and he did not pay her much attention.
He looked around the party, still appearing bored, and Sophia felt a strange stab in her gut at the feeling of being ignored.
“Of course!” Mr. Jones said. “And you, Your Grace…” He turned on Sophia. “What choice of poison would you like?”
Sophia was taught not to drink at social events like this. Especially those with small crowds where she could be easily watched. Alcohol lowered inhibitions, loosened the tongue, and led to bad decisions made that ought to be avoided.
She felt her tongue moisten, and she was desperate for a drink. But old habits died hard, and she could hear her mother’s voice warning her in the back of her head.
“I am quite fine, thank you,” she said politely.
Mr. Jones grinned. “They were right about you.”
“Excuse me?”
“I meant nothing by it,” he chortled. “I have just heard what a…” He flashed his eyes over her. “What a delight you are. A true bastion of your class. It is so wonderful not to be disappointed.”
“I simply do not feel like drinking.”
“I am sure you do not,” he laughed, still observing her in a way that made Sophia’s skin crawl. “Wait here, Your Grace, I will be right back with your drinks.”
“You are welcome to drink if you wish,” Gabriel said once they were alone. “I won’t judge.”
“I know I can,” she said back. “I simply do not wish it.”
He eyed her curiously and she knew that he did not believe her. By the looks of things, he was about to call her out, maybe even mock her, but thankfully Mr. Jones returned with a butler who held a bottle of whiskey and two glasses.
“Shall we talk business?” Mr. Jones asked as the drinks were poured. Then he glanced at Sophia again. “Perhaps best to wait until we are in suitable company?”
Gabriel rolled his eyes. “Yes, I suppose so.”
“Introductions then!” Mr. Jones cried. “There are plenty here who wish to meet you.”
“Yes, yes, let us get on with it.” Gabriel allowed himself to be led, leaving Sophia to follow behind without a fuss.
When Gabriel had told her about tonight’s party, Sophia felt a flood of excitement washing over her. After a week of being alone in a new home with little to do, she saw tonight as her chance to finally break free and act in ways that she had never dreamed.
She did not know what she would do. She did not know how she would do it. All she knew was that once she was out in public, no longer being watched and judged, that she would let her hair down like she never had before.
Or so I thought. Now, I am beginning to realize something about myself: that I am not the paramour of rebellion and good times that I always thought.
She had blamed her mother and father for so long for the way that she was forced to behave, without considering the very likely fact that it’s just who she was.
And so… the evening unwound in typically boring fashion.
She spent it walking behind her husband, listening as he met various guests, smiling when spoken to, offering short and polite answers, but never speaking out of turn or saying anything unexpected.
And to make matters even worse, she felt her husband watching her the whole time. Worse still, she felt his judgement. He had married her because he believed there was more than then met the eye, and now he was proven wrong.
“I have a most wonderful idea!” Mr. Jones found them again, a few hours after the evening had started. He swayed a little as he approached, and when he came closer, Sophia could smell the whiskey on his breath. “If you will indulge me, Your Grace.”
“And this idea is…” Gabriel sighed.
Mr. Jones pumped his eyebrows. “I have been told what a wonderful pianist your wife is…” He turned slightly and gestured across the room, past the hallway, and toward the adjoining room where there sat a pianoforte. “What say that she play for us?”
Sophia’s eyes widened with panic. Why the thought of playing for the host terrified her, she could not say. Only that she did not wish to do it.
Gabriel shrugged. “I am not the one you must ask.”
Mr. Jones scoffed. “But I am asking you. If you tell your wife to play, she will do it. Come on then!” he cheered.
“Gabriel…” Sophia whispered out the corner of her mouth. He glanced at her, and her expression was pleading.
“I don’t think so,” Gabriel said. “Perhaps another time.”
“Oh, come now,” Mr. Jones groaned and finally looked at Sophia. “Your Grace, will you please do us the honor of playing? We would love to hear it.”
“No, thank you,” she said politely.
“No?” Mr. Jones balked. “Why on earth not?”
“I am not in the mood.”
“Well, I suggest you get in the mood.” Mr. Jones looked around the party and waved for some of the guests to get closer. “We wish to hear you play! All that I have heard of you, it would be an honor.”
Times were that Sophia would have known that she had no choice.
Was her mother here, she likely would have been forced to already.
But Sophia was hesitant to do as was expected, and after a week of playing how she wished, she worried what might happen if she played again in front of a crowd. Which side of her would come out…
“I am quite fine,” she said softly, looking down at her chest.
“No,” Mr. Jons huffed. “I do not…” He scrunched his face.
“I am disappointed, Your Grace. I have known your husband for some time, you know, so when I heard he was wed, I expected it to be to someone more…” He curled his lips.
“More enjoyable.” He was swaying noticeably.
“She does not drink. She does not play. She hardly talks!” He laughed.
“Tell me, what do you do, exactly? Not much, from what I can see.”
Sophia was mortified, and it became worse as she noticed the snickers and laughter rolling across the crowd. Her cheeks turned red, her body withdrew, and she very nearly turned and fled as if her life depended on it.
“You are lucky we are in public,” Gabriel said darkly as he stepped between them both. “If we were not, Mr. Jones, the sound of your bones breaking would be the next sound heard. No need for a performance from my wife with the noises that would make.”
Mr. Jones balked. “Your Grace, I was only –”
“Do not say you were joking,” he snarled as he leaned over Mr. Jones. “Jokes are supposed to be funny, even clever. You, however, have the whit of a bore, with the looks to match.” Around them, people gasped, and more laughed. “You see,” Gabriel said. “That is how one tells a joke.”
“I… that is not…” Mr. Jones was shaking. “All I asked was for your wife –”
“To do something she does not wish to do.” Suddenly, he took Sophia’s hand and as their skin touched she felt a warmth ripple up her arm that wrapped her like a blanket in winter.
She felt safe, suddenly, like she had not known was possible.
“She said no, that is her answer, and I would expect you to respect it.”
Mr. Jones snorted. “I had no idea she was so particular.”
Gabriel stiffened. He snarled. He looked as if he meant to kill Mr. Jones where he stood. The only thing that stopped him, or so Sophia assumed, was the crowd of onlookers.
“We are done,” Gabriel said to him. “This party. Us. We are done.” With that, he turned and stormed away, pulling Sophia with him.
“Done?” Mr. Jones cried after him. “What do you mean? Done? Your Grace! Come back!”
“I am proud of you,” Gabriel said as he led her through the home, past the guests who hurried out of the way.
“Wh – what?” she stammered, her heart racing, still not entirely sure what had happened.
“For standing up for yourself,” he said. “For doing what you wanted, not what you were told.” He looked over his shoulder and smiled. “It’s exactly what I would expect from you.”
“I don’t care what you expect,” she said with a coy smile.
He laughed. “Exactly.”
They reached the front door where a butler hurriedly opened it. Behind them, Mr. Jones chased, crying out for them the stop. He threw in a few insults too, warnings that this would be heard of by all.
“And your wife!” he cried. “I’ll have it known how she insulted me!”
At the door, Gabriel stiffened once more, hackles rising, looking like a wolf being goaded into a tussle. Sophia saw the reaction, knew what he would do if he wasn’t calmed, and then had an idea.
“Wait…” She eased him, flashing a smile so he could see it. “I have a better idea.”
Beside the doorway was an ornate vase sitting atop a display stool. It was made of porcelain, its design was intricate, and Sophia knew it must have been worth a fortune. For that reason, she took little pleasure in what she did next… well, she took some.
She stepped forward, reached out, and knocked the vase to the floor.
It shattered across the wooden paneling and Mr. Jones screamed as if in pain.
“That’s more like it,” Gabriel laughed. “Very well done.”
Sophia beamed and her heart soared. She felt free like she never had before. She felt like there was nothing she could not do – she felt like she wanted to be told that there were things she could not do so she could prove them wrong!
This is how it feels to be unchained. This is how it feels to live without consequences. This is how it feels to be happy.
Finally, she understood what Gabriel wanted from her, and finally she understood what she had been missing this whole time.