Chapter 30
“Is something wrong?” Sophia’s mother asked.
“Huh?”
“Don’t say ‘huh,’ dear,” her mother corrected. “It is not a word.”
“Sorry…”
“As I said, is something wrong?” Her mother looked at her. “You have been fidgeting since we arrived.”
“Oh, have I been?” Sophia was not aware that she was doing so, but now that her mother mentioned it, she realized that she was playing with her hands. She dropped them by her side.
“Perhaps this was a bad idea,” her father said. “Clearly, she is nervous.”
“I am not,” Sophia said quickly.
“Embarrassed then,” her father corrected. “Sophia, there is nothing to be embarrassed by. You did nothing wrong, and it is imperative that everyone knows it. You are a victim in this, not the arbiter, and if anyone ought to be embarrassed, it is the Duke.”
“I know, Father. But I am fine.” She offered him and her mother an assured smile. “Truly, I am.” She held that smile, praying they would believe her.
They both looked at her with extreme skepticism.
“As you say,” her father finally agreed. “Let us do one lap around the park and then return home. A good start for the day, I think.”
Sophia opened her mouth to plead that they not return home so quickly, only to shut it before the words escaped. She could not afford to let her parents know that something was indeed wrong… or so very right, depending on how things turned out.
He must be here. He just has to be. But if he is running late…
Sophia pushed those thoughts down. She knew now that Gabriel wanted to apologize to her. And she knew that he was finally accepting how he felt. What she did not know was if he was prepared to prove this as fact, or if her letter might have scared him off.
If it did… she supposed that was her answer. But she would not go down that most sorrowful path until she knew for fact.
So, she dropped her hands, she forced calm on her face and in her poise, and she walked calmly beside her parents as they enjoyed what was a rather gorgeous day in the park.
Beside her, her sister walked also. She watched Sophia with narrowed eyes, clearly aware that something was going on. But Sophia did her best it ignore her, focusing her attention on the park.
The park was typically busy today, and as they walked along the stone pathway that wound through the park, her parents nodded and smiled at those who they knew.
Above, the sun shone brightly, the flowers bloomed colorfully, the hedges swayed in the breeze, birds sang, laughter drifted across the open space, and Sophia’s eyes searched with growing desperation.
Where is he… he must be here… surely, he will come… he has to.
It was a thirty-minute walk around the edge of the park and with each passing minute, Sophia was forced to reckon with her plan and if it was not a most foolish one.
When Gabriel had turned up at her home yesterday, Sophia felt a moment of hope burst through her like a sunbeam.
Finally, he was going to apologize to her, and likely he was going to ask her to return to him.
This sense of hope soon evaporated because Sophia decided quickly that his words would not be enough.
Had they not been here before? Had his words not already enticed her, tricked her, led her down a path that ended right where she was. Gabriel was an expert with words, his charm was unquestioned, and she feared that he would say what he knew she wanted to hear without meaning them.
No… if he wanted her back, he needed to prove that he had changed. More than that, he needed to prove that he loved her.
As to how he might do this? She had no idea.
“Who was that?” her sister asked of a lord that they passed and their parents nodded at.
“No one you know,” her father said.
“What a lovely day,” her mother noted as the four of them walked. She walked to the left of her husband, but they did not link arms. Rarely did her parents show affection in public… or private, for that matter.
“It is a little hot for my liking,” her father said dryly. He dabbed at his sweaty forehead with a handkerchief. “We really should be returning.”
“Yes,” her mother agreed. “Let us lap the tree down there –” She indicated to a large oak tree that the path split around. “—and then return to the carriage.”
“Already?” her sister moped.
“Do not pout,” her mother corrected. “It is not proper.”
Sophia’s insides seized. Panic rose. She looked around the park, noting the happy couples, the families, the dogs that barked, the birds that flew, everything one would expect to see today, saving the one thing she was desperate to see.
They continued to walk. Sophia’s nerves continued to rise. They reached the oak tree and started around it, only for her father to come to a sudden stop.
“What on earth…” He looked across the grass lawn to where a single gazebo sprouted from the ground. It was by a small pond, placed so that one could sit beneath the shade and enjoy the beauty of the surrounding landscape in peace.
“What is it?” her mother asked.
“I am not sure…”
Her sister perked up. “Is that…”
Sophia followed her father’s gaze, and when she found what it was that had him startled, a smile reached her lips and her heart swelled so that she thought it might burst.
“I knew he would come,” she said to herself. “I knew it.”
“Knew what?” her mother asked her. “Who is that?”
She ignored her mother as she walked off the path and started across the lawn. Her heart continued to flutter, her smile continued to grow, and even the sun seemed to somehow shine brighter than it was.
“Sophia!” her father called. “Where are you going?”
“Sophia!” Her mother was next. “Oh, watch the grass! It might stain your skirt!”
There was already a dozen or so people gathered around the gazebo, no doubt wondering what was going on inside. They chatted among themselves, looking for answers. More people from across the park started to filter toward it so that by the time Sophia came close there were at least two score.
Inside the gazebo is what held Sophia’s focus.
There was an orchestra set up inside; they were yet to play, but they had their instruments ready.
And standing on the steps, watching as Sophia came to him, was none other than Gabriel.
He wore a light suit, his hair combed, his face clean shaven.
And his eyes shone so that even the sun appeared weak by comparison.
This was for Sophia. This was Gabriel’s way of showing how much he cared.
“Sophia!” the voice of her parents came from behind, but she did not turn around. She continued until she was right at the base of the gazebo.
Gabriel did not walk to her. He stayed on the steps, smiling down at her. And even when she reached him, he took a moment. His eyes scanned the crowd, waiting for them to quieten and pay attention. And then, once they did, he turned and indicated to the orchestra to start playing.
Sophia pushed her lips together to keep herself from laughing at what was a rather ridiculous scene. Gabriel saw it and rolled his own eyes at himself before taking the final step, crossing to Sophia, and reaching for her hand.
She gave it without hesitation.
“I wasn’t sure that you would come.” Her smile split her face in two, and she wanted not just Gabriel, but everyone to see it.
“That you even thought for a moment that I would not…” He rested his other hand on top of the one holding her hand.
“That’s my fault. That I put you in a position where you would question how I feel about you…
” A shake of the head and he squeezed her hand firmly.
“I don’t want to ever put you in that position again. ”
“How you feel about me?” She cocked an eyebrow at him. “And how do you feel about me, exactly? I think it’s about time I heard you say it.”
“Is this not enough?” He gestured to the scene of which they were apart; the gazebo in the park, the orchestra playing behind them, the crowd that gathered around and watched.
“You know that it isn’t.” She still smiled, because she knew this was all part of it.
Gabriel exhaled as if to prepare himself. And he made sure to hold Sophia’s gaze the entire time, unblinking, those eyes boring into her so it was as if their souls connected. There may have been a crowd around them but, in that moment, it was just those two. Together at last.
“I’ve been lying to you, Sophia,” Gabriel began.
“Since I first met you… and not just lying to you, but to myself. You know of my upbringing, not much different to your own. How strict it was. How rigged and cold. And you know that rather than succumb to it, I pushed and fought it back, determined to live a life that was opposite to how I was raised.” He laughed softly at the notion.
“I wanted to be a rake. I wanted people to think that I did not care.”
The crowd stayed back, forming a circle around them both. Among them, Sophia caught sight of her parents, both of whom looked utterly aghast at what they were seeing. Her father especially, she had no doubt it took him all the self-control he possessed not to storm forward and snatch her away.
He did no such thing, of course, because that would create a scene. And her father would rather die than be found on the wrong end of a scandal.
“That was the irony,” Gabriel continued, still looking right at Sophia.
“This false belief that I created around my persona, that I was one who cared about nothing. So apathetic was I to the world that it did not matter what people thought of me. That I…” He shook his head.
“That I enjoyed the way people dismissed and judged me.”
“I still think that you do,” she said coyly.