Chapter 3
Chapter Three
Caspian stood outside the closed door. It led to a small antechamber at the back of the abbey, where his now betrothed was waiting. After he declared his intent to marry her, Lord Witherington asked her to leave the nave so he and Caspian could discuss the details of the marriage.
A marriage! It still sounds absurd, just to consider it.
It was an hour ago when Caspian finally agreed that he would consider the possibility of marriage. Even then, he doubted it would actually happen. He said it more to appease his cousin and to cover his own guilt because he knew deep down he needed to do better by Timothy.
An hour ago… How quickly things can change.
His discussion with Lord Witherington was brief.
Mostly, it was to confirm that a license would be obtained quickly so the marriage could proceed before either of them had a chance to change their mind.
Once that was settled, he sent Lord Witherington to fetch his cousin, as Caspian was sure she was wondering where he had disappeared to.
Also, he needed her advice. And desperately. Was this a terrible idea? Was it the right thing? Hopefully, his cousin would align his fears…
However, before doing anything else, Caspian still needed to talk to one person. If the marriage was going to happen, he had to make his bride understand what the marriage would entail. Just as important, he needed her to see that he had not done this to trap her, but to save her.
Or was it to save myself? Again, Caspian could not say.
Rain drummed against the abbey’s roof, bringing confusion and doubt.
Caspian, never one to let his emotions control him, felt more nervous than ever before.
With no idea what to expect or even what he wanted, he took a deep breath to steady himself, grasped the door handle, and entered the small room.
“Oh.” Miss Witherington was sitting when Caspian entered the room, but she jumped to her feet immediately. “I was… You are here.”
Caspian came to a stop. Not intentionally, but in that small room, alone, suddenly with his betrothed, he was caught off guard in a way he should not have been surprised by but was nonetheless unprepared for.
She was beautiful; that was the reason. Her thick auburn hair shimmered, illuminating the room.
Her blue eyes were captivating, impossible not to stare at, and those Caspian found himself getting lost in.
Skin as white as milk. Full lips. And when he dared to flick his eyes downward, his heart skipped a beat at the sight of her hourglass figure.
He swallowed unintentionally, stared a moment longer, and then snapped himself out of his trance, forcing composure because those things were necessary.
“I have just come from speaking with your father,” he began, focusing on her forehead so that he did not lose himself in her eyes again. “And we have agreed that when the license is procured, the marriage will go ahead.”
“Oh…” She blinked as if the news surprised her. “That is… Yes, that makes sense. I suppose it is for the best.”
Caspian did not know what reaction he expected from her. As silly as it sounded, he figured he might have appreciated some gratitude. After all, he had every reason to feel as upset as she probably did, the only difference being that he was doing it for the right reasons.
It might be nice if she were grateful, at least. It is not as if I want this!
“You suppose?” he said, biting back his frustration. “It is a good thing. Your father will be kept at bay, and your reputation will not be ruined by scandal. I am doing this for you. It is not as if I…” He clicked his tongue. “I did not orchestrate this.”
“I did not say that you did,” she said.
“You sound as if you think so,” he said sharply. “Just as you look as if I am responsible for it. As if I… Your father is the one who did this.”
It was ridiculous, he knew. But the look she gave him showed no gratitude. No sign of relief at all. Instead, she seemed unsure, as if she might change her mind. As if he were the one who needed to explain himself!
And people wonder why I never wanted to marry…
“And I do appreciate that,” she said carefully.
As she spoke, she fidgeted with her hands, just as she constantly looked up at him and then away.
“And while I will forever remain grateful, I feel that I should make it clear…” She took a deep breath, and when she looked up that time, she did not look away.
“I will do as is expected of me, as your wife. In that, you have nothing to fear. However, I also wish for you to know that I intend to remain as my own person.”
Caspian blinked. “Excuse me?”
“I will not be trapped,” she said with more bravery than she had shown so far. “I did not escape my father’s controlling influence only so I might be found under your own. I am not to be used.”
Caspian stared at her in bewilderment.
He had hoped for gratitude. He had hoped that she might realize that he had saved her. Instead, she thought to make demands of him.
Caspian looked down at Miss Witherington, viewing her differently than before. When he first saw her, she was crying. When her father appeared, she withdrew and played the victim. But now, for reasons he could not understand, she changed like a phoenix rising from the ashes.
Not nearly the meek little thing she has played at being.
“What is expected of you?” Caspian said, not wasting time hiding his frustration. “That is for me to decide, as I decide it. Once we wed, you will be a duchess, and you will act like one. You will obey.”
She exhaled sharply from her nose. “Oh, lucky me. A duchess. Is this not the happiest day of my life?”
Caspian’s eyes flashed with anger as he bore over her.
He did not mean to do so, but he was still coming to terms with what he wanted from this marriage.
What he had seen earlier, too, suggested at the very least that Miss Witherington might be subservient, the type who would not cause him headaches or give him a reason to regret this whole thing.
But the look of defiance she directed at him contradicted that belief, and now Caspian wondered if it might be wise to cancel the marriage before it even began.
“I will remind you, Miss Witherington, that the marriage has not yet been made official. Would you like me to fetch your father? I will happily change my mind and leave you in his capable hands if it is preferable.”
“What?” Her blue eyes widened, and her face paled. “No! Please, that is not…” She looked pleadingly at him. “I did not mean…”
“What, exactly, did you mean then?” he said sharply.
“I did not expect to find myself engaged today, Miss Witherington. In fact, until an hour ago, I had hoped I never would be. And while I do not expect your undying gratitude, it might be nice if you, at the very least, realized that you are not the sole victim here. Not even close.”
She winced and looked away, finally showing a hint of deference. “I apologize, Your Grace. I did not mean…” She grimaced, and despite all she had said, Caspian felt a stab of pity. “It is just that I have spent my entire life being controlled by my father.”
“I am not your father.”
“Which is why I wish to know. What is this marriage?” Again, she looked up at him.
Hope, in those blue eyes. “I am your prisoner? Because if that is what you want from me, then… then…” She bit into her lip, and the hope in her eyes transformed into defiance.
“Then I will have no choice but to deny your hand.”
Again, Caspian looked at her with bewilderment.
She was undoubtedly terrified, and he could see from the way she fidgeted how nervous she was. In a way, her determination to establish herself was endearing, proof that she was not like the other ladies Caspian had met. Definitely not like those he knew would marry him without question.
But Caspian was tired. He was annoyed. And he was not one to barter for a circumstance that he did not want in the first place!
So, rather than showing her deference and easing her worry, Caspian did as he often did when put with his back to the wall. He stood his ground and bullied his way through the problem.
“Deny me?” he scoffed. “And you think that is an option, do you?”
“It is,” she said without sounding like she believed it.
“And then what? You will be shamed. You will be scandalized. Never mind your father’s wrath. Likely, you will be forced to live your life as a spinster, banished from society for the rest of your days.”
“A small price to pay for my freedom.”
“That is not…” He groaned and rubbed his eyes. “I am trying to help you. Why can you not see that?”
“Then answer the question,” she fired back. “What will this marriage be?”
“Whatever I want it to be!” he shouted before he could stop himself.
Miss Witherington leaned back in shock, and Caspian almost apologized…
Almost. “You wish to know what I want? I want obedience. I want peace of mind. I want you to be grateful for what I have done. I saved you, Miss Witherington, and the least that you can do is realize that I am not the enemy.”
“Nor is a goaler,” she said. “But he still holds the keys.”
“You are…” He clicked his tongue as he tried to temper his anger.
How had he been so wrong about her? She had appeared so helpless, so utterly lost. Certainly not the firebrand she was turning out to be.
“I know that you believe you have options.” He spoke slowly and carefully.
“But the simple fact is that you do not.”
“I do—”
“I am the one with options here,” he cut her off. “I came to you, hoping that we might reach an agreement. That you might see what I have done as a mercy, and act accordingly. But now, I see you for what you are.”
“And what is that?”
“A brat,” he snapped. “Spoiled. And before you say anything else, before you make your threats, know that I am this close to changing my mind. Pretend that is what you want, but we both know what will happen to you after is far worse.”
“So, what then? I should just obey you?” She shook her head, her chin wobbling. “I have done that my entire life, and this is what it has given me.”
“Better that than the alternative.”
“I am not so sure.”
Despite trembling and the obvious fear in her eyes, Miss Witherington stood her ground in a way that Caspian could not believe. Face set. Jaw clenched. She scowled at him, daring him to follow through on his threat.
Caspian scowled back. Angry, yes. Tired and frustrated, of course. But there was something else there… something he could not quite explain. Not used to being spoken to this way, and certainly not expecting it from one so beautiful. His pulse quickened, but not with anger.
And when his eyes flicked downwards, across her chest, toward her body, his pulse quickened further. On instinct, unable to control himself, Caspian reached for her. He could not say what he meant to do, only that he felt a sudden desire to touch her… to feel her on his fingers.
“Caspian!” the cry came from beyond the closed door, cutting through the moment, and just in time. “Where is he?”
“Who is that?” Miss Witherington asked.
Caspian snatched back his hand just in time.
He had hoped to have this sorted before his cousin arrived, but now that she was there, he wondered what he was going to say. As he wondered what she was going to say to him.
“That…” He groaned and let his shoulders drop. “That is my dear cousin.”