Chapter 30
Chapter Thirty
It was hard to express how Arabella felt in that moment.
There was still a small tingling sensation running through her body that was the last vestiges of fear felt since her father had nearly beaten her, and when she had thought that her life was forfeit.
There was also that distinct feeling of pride at what she had done.
That she had stood up to her father once and for all.
That she had defeated him resolutely. And that she was now free from him once and for all.
From that day on, when she thought of her father, it would be as a sniveling coward begging to be let free, and never would he control her again.
Mostly, what she felt pertained to Caspian.
They stood beside the carriage, able to hear her father still begging to be let go.
When Caspian had burst in to save her, she had wanted him to shoot her father dead; she had silently begged for it.
She was not surprised that he had come for her, because she knew that he would do so.
What surprised her most was his self-control.
He had saved her, but in so doing, he had proven who he really was.
“Arabella…” Caspian’s voice broke through her machinations. “Are you…”
She shook her head and looked at her husband. His breathing was heavy. He had never looked so tired. And while he still carried a weight on his shoulders, worry for her safety, that weight gently lifted as their eyes held, and he saw that she was safe.
“I am fine, Caspian,” she said. “Thanks to you.”
He shook his head. “I should have never… This should not have happened in the first place. That I allowed you to be put in danger—”
“Allowed me?” She cut him off and raised an eyebrow. “Is that what you did?”
“I…” He hesitated. “When I learned that you had been taken, Arabella, I believed that… I thought… I have never been so afraid. And I knew that there was nothing I would not do to save you.”
“Which you did.”
“I almost failed.”
She laughed and shook her head. “How does one almost fail?”
“I am sorry,” he said desperately. “Please know that I will never let something like this happen again.”
She knew that he was just saying what he thought he needed to say. As she knew that she ought to have accepted his words because they were kind and right and meant the world to her. But she also knew that such a thing would do them no favors.
Arabella had spent much time of late thinking about her relationship with Caspian. It was confusing, and that was because she had thought it went against the very thing that she believed she wanted more than anything.
To be her own person, to have her own agency, to not rely on others. Was that not the entire point of her marriage? That she had needed Caspian to save her should not have only frustrated her but also angered her.
And yet, I do not care.
What Arabella really wanted, and this was what she came to understand as she looked at her husband, was a marriage.
Plain and simple. Growing up, she had always assumed marriage to be unequal, with the wife subservient to the husband.
For that reason, she had never much liked the idea of such a thing.
Such a way of being was not what she had with Caspian.
With Caspian, she was her own woman, but that did not mean she would never rely on him and need him.
Yes, he had saved her today, but that did not take away her power.
He saved her because he loved her, not because he owned her, and when the time came that he might need to be saved also, she would be there.
“You do not need to apologize, Caspian…” Arabella let the pistol in her hands fall to the dirt, and with that free hand, she reached up and cupped his face. “You did nothing wrong.”
“I allowed this to—”
“No,” she cut him off with force. “You allowed nothing, nor did I. This was nobody’s fault but my fathers, and to blame anyone else would be to give him a free pass. Is that what you want?”
“Of course not.”
“He did this…” She smiled through the darkness as she held his face. “But you were the one who saved me. That is what I choose to focus on, and that is why I love you.”
He caught his breath when she said those words, and she felt his body turn rigid. Arabella’s eyes widened because she realized then that they had never said those words to one another.
A beat passed between them… A moment where she worried that he would retreat or deny his feelings. But then, he smiled, breathed out, and she knew what he was going to say before the words left his lips.
“As I love you, Arabella. I might have denied it, I might have refused it, but as tonight has proven, I love you more than words can describe. And while I know how much you hate to need rescuing, in this one instance, I hope you do not mind.”
She laughed. “You rescued me because you loved me, Caspian. That is the difference. You did not do it to prove something or to own me. That is why I love you.”
“You are so strong, Arabella. I love that about you. But more than that, I love how you give me strength.”
“That is why we work so well together.”
He chuckled. “You know of my father and my upbringing. You know why I was so resistant to this. But tonight made me realize that I am not him, nor was I ever. And I would have never understood that about myself if not for you.”
She smiled as she accepted his words.
And for a few seconds, they simply looked upon one another. It was dark outside that cabin; she could barely see him, but she felt him. She felt his eyes. She felt his heart. She felt his love for her as if it were blinding.
This marriage was not about control, but a partnership. And as he had her heart, she now had his.
“So…” she began softly, still holding his eyes. “What now?”
“Now? We return home. We start our lives together properly. I want to be a good husband to you and a good father to Timothy. I want to prove once and for all that I can be that.”
“Good. But first…” Her eyes flicked to his lips, and Caspian grinned.
“Ah, I almost forgot. Remind me, what happens in all the stories where the prince rescues the princess?”
She dropped her face. “I would not know, as I never read them. Besides, such a circumstance does not really apply here. And do not dare suggest it.”
His hand went to her waist. “I suggest nothing. But as I am yours, you are mine, Arabella. Do not forget that.”
“You had better prove it then,” she said.
“Do not tell me what to do.”
“And do not tell me what I can and cannot—” Her words were cut off by his kiss.
He caught her by surprise, but she accepted it, nonetheless.
She took it fully, opening her mouth, her heart, and her soul to him.
It was a kiss that confirmed all that had been said, showing not just their love but their passion.
It sealed their marriage as true and proved its future beyond question.
As to what that future might hold? Arabella put that thought away for later. For now, she lived in the moment, lips pressed, tongues dancing, two becoming one. That was their marriage: two souls, one mind, and happiness found in the most unlikely of places.