Chapter 8
Recriminations swirled through Lion as he lay by Addy’s side in his bed, naked and spent, his heart pounding and his mind in ruins.
She had been a virgin. He’d been so caught up in her that he hadn’t given a thought to her experience other than those supposed kisses from the Swiss lads.
But when she had held his gaze and lifted her nightgown over her head, revealing her lush curves and gorgeous body, he had lost his ability to control himself.
Had he been as gentle as he should have been?
Had he taken his time and eased her into lovemaking?
He hadn’t been a virgin in what felt like a lifetime. His first lover had been an experienced widow who had tutored him well in the art of pleasing a woman. Had he ever made love to a virgin? He didn’t think he had.
Dear God. He had taken Miss Adelia Fox’s maidenhead.
Had spent on her thigh little better than a mongrel in heat. What a beast he was.
He was going to have to marry her, and for reasons he could not presently comprehend, the notion of taking Addy as his wife didn’t bother him nearly as much as it should. In fact, it didn’t bother him at all. Quite the opposite.
He wanted to marry her.
This astounding realization struck him like a blow.
Swallowing hard against a rush of emotion, he turned to find her watching him, her lips swollen from his kisses.
Her eyes seemed even more vibrantly green in the low light.
Her nipples were hard, pink points, jutting toward him in invitation.
Her hair was a burnished cloud on his pillow.
She looked at home in his bed, as if she belonged there.
He’d never had a woman in his bed here at Marchingham Hall, and the astounding rightness of her presence made his chest tighten.
That was when his gaze traveled lower, finding the reminder of what they had just done together.
His seed was on her thigh.
“Are you…” His words trailed off haltingly as he fought to regain his composure. Lion cleared his throat and tried anew. “Did I hurt you?”
“A bit of pain is to be expected a woman’s first time,” she said softly, indirectly answering his question.
He had hurt her. Ballocks.
“I’m sorry.”
“That is the second time you’ve said so.”
She sounded cross.
“Addy,” he tried, not knowing what to say or how to ameliorate the damage of what he had just done.
The edicts of his father had made an indelible mark upon him. He had taken great care to avoid scandal at all costs. Deflowering a hoyden American heiress in his own bed was the decided opposite of that.
“What are you sorry for?” she asked sharply.
“For hurting you. For behaving dishonorably. For taking unacceptable liberties. For…everything.”
“Everything?”
Her voice was as taut as a wire pulled to its tightest, just before breaking.
He was making a mess of this.
“Yes. I never intended for this to happen between us.” But the moment she had appeared at his door, a sensual goddess he could not resist, it had been inevitable.
“And you regret it.”
“Of course I do.” Because it was wrong, what he had done. A gentleman should never take a lady’s innocence. Not without the sanctity of marriage.
“Lowering yourself to touching a dreadful Yankee is undoubtedly distasteful,” she said, sitting up.
Christ.
He sat up as well.
“My regret has nothing to do with the fact that you are an American,” he denied, placing a gentle hand on her arm. “Let me attend you.”
“Attend me? I should think you’ve already done enough of that.” There was a smirk on her lips, but Addy didn’t fool him. He knew her well enough to see the cracks in her facade. Her bravado was a mask she wore to fool the world.
He kissed her firmly but gently, then cupped her cheek, holding her gaze. “Don’t move.”
Although he was reasonably certain all the bones in his body had melted in the wake of the intense passion they’d just shared, he rose from the bed and crossed the room, seeking the wash basin.
He felt her stare on his naked arse all the while, and he wondered what she was thinking as he wetted a cloth and wrung it out.
He was more than aware that the finer sex found him attractive.
He reveled in the outdoors, in tending things on the estate, in rowing and riding.
His body was well honed and muscular, and the women in his bed had never found fault with it.
But still, this was Addy, and she was different.
He couldn’t describe how. It was simply so.
Lion turned back to find her sitting where he had left her, countenance inscrutable. At least she had obeyed him, but he wasn’t fool enough to comment upon it, lest she dash from his bedroom entirely nude just to be contrary.
He moved back to the bed.
She stiffened. “What are you doing?”
“Tending to you.”
Her chin went up. “I am adept at tending to myself.”
He heard the pride in her voice. Stubborn wench.
Lion met her gaze. “I do not doubt it. But in this instance, I hope you will allow me to clean the mess I’ve made.”
It was the only polite way he could think of referring to the white lashings of his mettle on her thigh.
His gaze dipped to the evidence of what they had done, and his cock twitched.
He didn’t think he’d ever seen a more erotic sight than his mark upon her creamy skin.
It made him want her again, even if his rational mind knew that could not happen.
“Very well,” she allowed, her voice husky.
He took the damp cloth and wiped his seed from her, almost hating to remove it. A possessive surge took hold in him. This lovely, brazen, unique woman so unlike any he had ever known was his now.
All he had to do was offer for her.
But would she accept?
Lion wanted to ask her. All he had to do was summon the proper means of doing so. Hovering over her, naked and bearing a cloth coated in his mettle, after he had just taken her maidenhead outside the bonds of matrimony, was hardly good form.
He finished his task, painfully aware of her proximity, her nudity, her gaze on him.
She was lying there, her glorious body gilded by the lamplight, making no effort to shield herself, and he was the world’s greatest oaf, because all he could think about was joining her on the bed and making love to her a second time.
“There we are,” he said, his voice thick.
“Thank you.” Her voice was a husky murmur, reminding him of the sounds she had made when she had come undone.
Clearing his throat, he turned away from the tantalizing sight she presented and returned the cloth to the washstand. “You needn’t thank me. Given my conduct, it’s hardly warranted.”
“But I liked your conduct.”
He closed his eyes and bowed his head, willing his thickening cock to go limp. He must not give in to temptation a second time.
Lion swallowed. He was no longer a randy lad, ready for bed sport to begin anew a few minutes after he’d reached completion.
And yet, there was no denying the rekindling desire burning hot within him.
He was dangerously near to making love to Addy a second time.
And that wouldn’t do. He needed to get the both of them dressed and see her back to her room.
“We should dress,” he forced out, cursing himself for the coldness in his voice.
He hadn’t intended to be so curt with her.
“Of course,” she said, her voice sounding suddenly small. “I suppose you’ll want your bed back now, and I should return to my room so that no one else discovers our sordid little secret.”
He was going about this all wrong. Lion winced as he spun back to find her hastening from his bed.
“You are not my sordid little secret,” he denied, even as he realized that was precisely how she believed he was treating her.
But damnation, what was he meant to do? He was attempting to preserve her reputation and go about this the right way. He wasn’t in the business of despoiling virgins. He hadn’t an inkling of what to do in the aftermath.
As he wrestled with himself, Addy found her nightgown and drew it over her head.
He mourned the loss of her silken curves, all sweet cream and palest pink.
And then he recalled that he needed to don his dressing gown.
Angling his body away from hers so that she wouldn’t spy his rapidly hardening cock, he stalked across the faded Axminster and seized his discarded dressing gown, drawing it on. His fingers fumbled over buttons.
“You needn’t deny it,” Addy was saying. “You won’t hurt my feelings. I’ve always known you disapprove of me, and coming to your room tonight was reckless and rash. I’m sure it didn’t help your poor opinion. You hardly want your faultless reputation besmirched because of me.”
He faltered on the fastenings of his robe. What must she think of him? That he would bed her while disdaining her?
“I don’t have a poor opinion of you, Addy,” he told her. “And I don’t give a damn about my reputation.”
“Ha! Don’t lie to me, please. I may be many things, but I’m no fool.” She stuffed her arms into the sleeves of her dressing gown. “I came to you because I wanted to experience what it’s like between a man and a woman, and now I have. I thank you for the lesson. It proved quite…insightful.”
“Addy,” he protested, realizing he had done up his buttons all wrong. “I’m not lying to you.”
Blast. He couldn’t go about the halls in dishabille. If a servant were to come upon them or, God forbid, the elder Miss Fox, he shuddered to think what would happen. He began undoing the buttons with the intention of setting them to rights, but she was flitting to the door, already clothed.
“Good night, Lion.”
Her expression, like her voice, was lamenting.
Bloody hell, his erection had finally begun to subside thanks to their argument, but his dressing gown was gaping open, his cock jutting in the wind. He couldn’t chase after her like this.
“Don’t go,” he bit out.