22. Blurred
BLURRED
Alex
Irene had trained with Darius for a week, and while I didn’t know all the details of how her power was developing, her mood had improved. Her heartbeat thumped calmly and steadily. The scent of her blood had lost the pungent quality of fear, and the pull in my chest was less tense.
I was heading to the drawing room to meet my agent when I stopped in front of one of the windows opening to the garden. Darius and Irene were talking, surrounded by bushes of crimson roses and snowy daisies.
He demonstrated one of his spells, drawing complicated symbols in the air, and she watched fascinated as roses grew and blossomed in a matter of seconds. She clapped her hands, and he bowed at her praise.
As they talked, she started crying.
I unleashed my power to sharpen my hearing. Yes, the Duke of the Dark Court wanted to eavesdrop on them.
He asked her if he could hug her. She nodded, and he pulled her into a gentle hug while she rested her golden head on his shoulder.
A pang hit me in the chest. I wouldn’t be able to hold her and comfort her when she needed it. Darius stroked her head, and I wished it were me giving her safety. Our bond strained with my envy.
She must have sensed it because she tilted her head up. Our gazes met. She lifted a tentative hand in greeting, and I returned the gesture before leaving.
She didn’t need me, and it was better that way. Once her power grew, she would find her life as a wili to be safe and rewarding, and I would watch over her from the shadows where I belonged.
That evening, I found her in my private dining room, having a quiet dinner. I turned around to let her enjoy her meal in solitude when she called me.
“Don’t leave on my account.”
“I suppose you’d rather be alone.”
“Please stay.” She didn’t sound confident.
I took a seat, and the butler served soup, roasted meat, cheese, and grapes. “How is your training going?”
“Not well. Darius is very patient, but I’m not making any progress.” She stretched out her fingers. “I’m more tired every day.”
Fear seized me by the throat. I wouldn’t let her fade.
“You’ll have to use a weapon to kill your first one.”
She grimaced. “I don’t think I can.”
“You can with my help.” I’d repeated that many times, but I wasn’t sure she believed me.
“Because you’re responsible for me? The other wilis were appalled by your being my master.”
That. We hadn’t clarified all the details.
I wiped my mouth with a napkin. “When Myrtha creates a new wili, she gives the woman her blood. In your case, I gave you mine.”
A horrified expression tightened her face. “Excuse me?”
“A small amount, but enough to bind you to me. Do not worry. You won’t become a vampire.”
“What does it mean to be bound to you?”
I postponed answering her by sipping the wine. “It means that if I employ my power over you and give you an order, you’ll feel compelled to obey. In fact, you won’t be able to oppose my will even if you want to.”
Her horrified expression became sheer disgust. “Do you mean you could order me to kill someone, and I wouldn’t be able to say no?”
“Precisely.”
She straightened, her eyebrows knitting together. “Is this what you plan to do?”
“No!” I lowered the glass with too much strength, and the wine spilt on the white tablecloth, reminding me of the day Irene had arrived in her bloodstained gown.
“I would appreciate it if you showed some trust. I’m not a beast. I would never abuse my power.
When I said I would help you, I meant just that. ”
I put the napkin on the table and scraped the chair back. I wasn’t angry because of her lack of trust towards me—not entirely—but because I meant nothing to her. I was a brute who had drunk from her without her permission and who wanted to control her.
And I couldn’t hug her or hold her hand without feeling sick.
She shifted on the chair with a soft swish. “Don’t go.”
Two words from her and I was compelled to obey. Who was the master?
“I’m sorry.” She rose, and the fabric of her skirt flowed down her legs. “I didn’t mean to offend you.”
“You didn’t offend me.” I tried to find the right words. “I want to help you. You helped me when I was sick, and I won’t forget that.”
“You don’t owe me anything.”
“I do, and I’ll do anything to make amends for having drunk from you.”
We stared at each other until either she spoke or I held her. Since the first didn’t happen and the latter was impossible, I left.
I stepped out of the dining room where Logan’s and Myrtha’s loud voices carried from the other side of the corridor.
“This is outrageous!” Myrtha’s white glow preceded her.
“Shut up, hag.” Logan strode into view, wiping blood from his mouth.
“Ravenhill!” She marched towards me, a storm in white silk. “Logan almost killed a woman by brutally drinking from her. I won’t tolerate his barbaric behaviour any longer. When I agreed to join your Dark Court—”
“Because your power was fading.” Logan licked his bloody fingers.
“—I made it clear that women shouldn’t be hurt, especially to satisfy your revolting urges.”
I felt Irene close to me through our bond.
I crossed my arms over my chest, forcing myself not to lose my temper in front of her. “Is it true, Logan?”
He shrugged. “I didn’t kill her, did I?”
“Because I intervened.” Myrtha raised her chin. “I saw Logan going out and followed him because I feared he might hurt a woman. And I was right.”
I glanced at our reflections in the windowpane. Mine was well defined, but his was broken and blurred.
“You’re turning into a rogue.”
“Don’t start.” He sounded bored. “Nothing happened, and I stopped on my own. Myrtha is overreacting as usual.”
“I don’t hurt the people I feed from.”
“We all know how controlled you are.” He offered me a mocking bow before starting to walk away.
And my anger burst. I rushed past Myrtha and blocked his path, careful not to touch him.
“Don’t turn your back on me.” My power roared to life, deepening my voice.
My sight and smell sharpened.
He groaned, and black spilt into his eyes.
“This is a final warning.” I was aware of Irene’s pulse changing its rhythm. “If you don’t control yourself, I’ll put you down.”
Myrtha nodded her approval. “I’ll be happy to do that.”
Logan stood uncomfortably close. “You may control your thirst, but your control over the Dark Court is slipping away. Be careful before you find yourself in the middle of a riot or with a stake in your chest.”
“You’re still sour because I’m the duke.”
“You aren’t the duke.” He snarled. “You’re a vulgar street thug just turned into a vampire. I’ve been a vampire for a century. My father was a duke, and now I’m supposed to follow a common thief!”
It took all my energy not to step away from him. He wasn’t touching me, but the closeness triggered my pain and disgust.
Sweat dampened the back of my neck. “You’re free to go. Oh right. You can’t. You have nowhere to go, no money, and no protection.”
Logan was too proud of his noble lineage to work or live without servants. Besides, I wouldn’t let a dangerous vampire loose on the streets. If he wanted to leave, I wouldn’t let him.
Irene stood next to me. Her blood teased me as if to test my infamous control.
Logan put some distance between us. “The chosen one. I wonder what her blood tastes like. It has to be delicious if the mighty duke turned you into his slave. When he grows tired of you, I’ll take my fill.”
Myrtha showed her rage by bursting with light.
My fangs lengthened further. If I couldn’t give Irene physical comfort, then I would protect her from thugs like Logan.
“I’ve already given you a warning. Don’t make me regret my generosity.” I would ask Darius to prevent Logan from leaving the mansion. He would feed indoors until I made sure he wasn’t a danger to humans.
His gaze was locked on me. He opened his mouth, but I cut him off.
“If you have any common sense, you’ll shut up.”
Shaking with rage, he thudded up the stairs.
Myrtha regarded me with approval. “Thank you, Ravenhill.” She left with her chin up and a soft glow around her.
I withdrew my power, not to show Irene my fangs and obsidian eyes. “I’m sorry you had to watch this.”
What I wanted to say was that I hoped she wasn’t more frightened of me.
“Alex…” Irene fiddled with her gold cross. “What Logan said about me being your slave…”
“You aren’t my blood slave. I don’t have slaves,” I clarified, lest she believe I’d lied to her. “You’ll never be anyone’s slave.”
She exhaled. The fact she’d believed, even for an instant, that I was capable of forcing her into being my slave, hurt me intimately.
“You were crying this morning.” I caught her gaze.
“I was upset.”
“Was it something Darius said?”
She shook her head. “Not intentionally. He reminded me of… Nothing.”
“Tell me.” Please trust me. Please.
“I can’t.”
“But you could with Darius.” The words rushed out of my mouth without my permission, but they were true.
She flushed, and her scent wafted. “It’s different. I mean, Darius is…”
“Not as frightening as I am.”
She closed her hand around the cross, her pulse quickening. “I’m just still shaken by what has happened. You’re very kind to me. Please don’t think I’m not aware of that. But I’m…sensitive.”
If I focused, I could hear my heart cracking.
I swallowed past the knot in my throat. “Keep the cross with you always.” I pivoted and headed for my study, feeling as if she’d ripped my chest open.
I had to do something for her. Something that made her understand how much I cared for her.