Chapter 23
Lucy sat in a state of stunned silence.
Marcus’ hand still rested on her shoulder. James crawled across the floor, giggling at nothing in particular. And her stepmother and stepsister’s chairs were empty.
She struggled beyond belief to make sense of what had just happened. It had felt like a dream, the way that Marcus stormed in here, how he defended her honor, and how he spoke about Lucy as if he truly cared about her wellbeing.
What just happened… how did it happen… am I dreaming… did I imagine it?
“They should not have spoken to you that way,” Marcus said finally, his voice suddenly gently. He squeezed her shoulder. “I apologize if it was a tad harsh, but they need to know who you are. My wife.”
That was when her conscience came back. It struck her in the face, it forced itself upon her, and it brought her into the room and into herself. Which, to be honest, was desperately needed.
“Excuse me?” she said with obvious disgust.
Marcus must have noticed her tone. “I… I heard the way that they spoke to you and I could not stand by and do nothing.”
“Is that right?” She bucked his arm from her shoulder. “So upset were you with how I was treated that you had to rush in an defend my honor. Is that what just happened?”
“They should not speak to you like that.”
“And why do you care?” She stood up quickly and glared at him. “Why do you care how they speak to me?”
“Lucy…” He looked at her nervously. “Regardless of… of how things have gone between us, you are still my wife.”
“Don’t,” she snarled. “Do not call me as such. Do not dare.”
“But you are.”
She laughed. “Says who? A signature on a piece of paper? Although, knowing you as I do, I suppose that is all it takes. A business contract – is that not how you referred to this marriage? You saw your property being abused and thought you must rescue it.”
He winced at the harshness of her words, but Lucy felt no pity.
For a full week, he had ignored her. For a full week, he had acted as if she did not exist. And for a full week, Lucy was forced to contend with the very real fact that her husband wanted nothing to do with her.
I tried… oh, how I tried. I gave him more chances than he deserves. I gave him every opportunity to make this marriage real! And now he wants… I do not even know!
“We might be married in the legal sense,” she hissed at him angrily. In fairness, much of her anger was on account of her stepmother, but it felt justified turning it on her husband. “But we are not man and wife. And this is certainly not a marriage.”
“I –"
“And if you think that you can just… just storm in here, say a few gallant words, and that I will be willing to forget what you did!” She curled her upper lip and held her glare on him.
“You are sorely mistaken, Marcus. Now, please, leave me alone…” She walked right past him, intending to scoop up James and leave the room. “I know you want to anyway.”
She thought that would be it.
If history told Lucy anything, it was that Marcus was not the type to fight for her. He did not want to. He wanted to be alone, just as he wanted to pretend this marriage did not exist. In essence, she was giving him a way out, and she knew he would not hesitate to take it.
So, she walked to James and was about to scoop him up when Marcus spoke.
“You are right,” he said, his voice soft with defeat. “I do not deserve your forgiveness. And I certainly do not deserve to pretend that what I did just now was some gallant act. I hurt you, Lucy, and you should be angry with me.”
She turned, surprised by his admission. “I am not angry, Marcus. I am… I am apathetic. You have made it so very clear to me what you want out of this marriage, and I am done trying to change your mind.”
“And what if I changed it myself?”
“What…” She frowned, seeing now how guilt ridden he appeared. There was no defiance in him, no dispassion or emptiness. He looked at her with sorrow in his eyes, ashamed, and broken. “What does that mean?”
“It means that I was wrong.” He took a step toward her. “About everything.”
Lucy hesitated, refusing to allow any sense of emotion in. They had been here before, had they not? Marcus had already come so close to admitting how he felt and what he wanted. Why would she give him another chance? Why would she allow him to hurt her again?
“Words,” she said. “They are wind. You can speak them all you want, Marcus, but the fact is that I do not trust you. I might have, once, but you have proven already that such an act as that is folly.”
“Last week, when you invited me to spend a day with you and James…” He took another step towards her. “Would you believe how excited I was?” He shook his head. “While somehow terrified.”
“I do not want to hear it.”
“I wanted the chance to get to know you and James better,” he pressed. “Dammit, I wanted to prove to myself that I could do. But when the moment arrived, I panicked. I thought back to my childhood and I –”
“You cannot keep doing that!” she cried.
“I know that your childhood was difficult, Marcus. I know how it has affected you. But to use it like a wall to hide behind…” She shook her head.
“Your walls are well built, and they stand tall so that tearing them down is not something I believe you will ever do. Nor is it something I think you want to do.”
Oddly, he smiled at that comment and then he took another step closer. He was less than three feet away and Lucy knew that she should have just picked up James and left the room.
He does not deserve to keep doing this… I do not deserve to have it done to me. Has he changed? Is he just saying that he has? How can I ever truly know?
“Yes, my childhood was difficult,” he said, still wearing that smile. “But so was yours…” He chuckled lightly. “The proof of that, I saw just now with my own two eyes.”
“What is your point?”
Another step toward her. “You are so much stronger than me, Lucy. I saw it just now. I have seen it all week. You are not defined by your past. If anything, you aspire to outgrow it. And when I saw your stepmother belittling you, when I saw you standing up to her I…” He looked right at her as his smile reached his eyes.
“I realized that you are who I want to be.”
She leaned back. “What?”
“I don’t want to be alone anymore,” he said as he looked right at her. “I don’t want to cut myself off from the world, from people, from… from happiness.” He shook his head. “I want a family, Lucy. I want a marriage. I want you.”
Lucy had no idea what to say.
Were these words spoken just last week, they might have seen her heart soar.
She had been at pains to decide how she felt about Marcus and their future, but had he made such a declaration, then she surely would have accepted.
At the very least, she would have come to realize that she wanted the same thing… and with him.
But still, she could not trust him. This last week had been awful, and she refused to give in to his plea so that she might be hurt again.
“Words,” she said once more. “How can I know that they are real, Marcus? What is to stop you from changing your mind tomorrow, or the day after? What is to stop you from waking up one day and realizing that… that this is a mistake and you want nothing to do with me?”
“I won’t.”
“You say that,” she said, desperation now coloring her tone, “But you hurt me, Marcus. And I do not know if I can be hurt like that again.”
“You need proof?”
“Does such a thing exist?”
Marcus’ brow furrowed as he considered her. She saw his mind at battle. Once again, Lucy braced for what she knew was coming. The slightest pushback, the smallest risk of denial, and he was sure to throw those walls right back up and be done with her.
For the best, I think. Better that he realizes it now then –
He came at her quickly. One final step toward her, his right hand snatched her hand and pulled her toward him. Then, that same hand slipped around her waist, held her to his body, and his lips moved right for her own.
So caught by surprise was Lucy that she did not move to stop him.
Their faces came together, their lips met, her mouth opened as his tongue dove inside, and before she knew what was happening, Lucy and Marcus were embraced in a passionate kiss that set the world on fire.
Her first instinct was to push him away… and she might have just done that, was his kiss not so overwhelming. His hands on her waist. His tongue lapping her own. His desire for her, his attraction, could be felt not just in that kiss but in her entire body.
It wrapped itself around Lucy so that the room faded.
It held her to him so that even if she wanted to, she could not escape.
All the anger she felt, all the hurt, and all the betrayal melted in an instant, and all that was left were the two of them, their hearts open, their souls exposed, and their bodies entwined.
Lucy gave in to that kiss. She accepted it. She breathed it in as if it was life. As she had said, words were wind and they meant nothing. But that kiss, it said more than Marcus or herself ever could.
And when Marcus pulled away, still holding her, she met his eyes and she saw the truth of that kiss in their reflection. Her heart raced. Her body ran warm. And she hoped he would never let her go again.
“I am sorry, Lucy,” he said in a deep whisper. “I don’t deserve your forgiveness, I know that. But, if you will let me, I would like to spend the rest of our marriage making it up to you.”
“The rest of our marriage? That is a long time…”
“Good,” he said with a smile. “Because I have a lot to make up for.”
And then, with nothing left to say, they kissed again.
Was this a mistake? Was Marcus likely going to hurt Lucy again? Truly, she could not say. What she could say, and without question, was that she did not care.
She wanted her husband now, she knew. She wanted a family. And, most of all, she wanted a real marriage. Not one of convenience, not a business contract, but a true love match. And if that kiss was any indication, for the first time ever, such a thing was finally possible.