Chapter 30
Lucy was in the back garden, playing with James, when Marcus returned home.
She had spent the last hour doing whatever she could to distract herself. Knowing where Marcus had gone, and what he meant to do, her mind was awash with scenarios that she could not escape. The good and the bad both battered her into submission so that she needed something to keep her busy.
Lucky then that she had James.
She sat on a bench as James crawled through the grass. His laughter was infectious, as was his smile, and it did much to keep her feeling calm. But still… too often she would look to the back door as if she expected Marcus to walk right through and come for her.
I should have gone with him. I wanted to. But he was so insistent that he be the one to confront Lord Wembley and my family. I thought at first that he might have feared for my safety, but I know now that this is not the case…
The truth of the matter was that Marcus was determined to prove himself to her.
He knew that he had hurt her more times than she deserved, just as he knew that he had no right to ask for her trust again.
But that he was not prepared to give up meant something, and she wanted to give him this final chance.
In fact, just as Marcus was determined to prove himself, she was determined to forgive him – she wanted to forgive him.
Lucy was done being alone. She was done pretending that she could live this life without Marcus in it.
And if he came to her, if he did this final thing, she would know that he meant every word that he said.
Actions proving that he means what he says. Not a small gesture by any means, but we are past the point for such things.
So it was that when Marcus appeared on the balcony, striding from the back door, her heart soared. And when she saw the look on his face, relief swept through her because she knew that it was done.
“James…” She called to James, hurried toward him, and scooped him into her arms. “Come now,” she chuckled as he squirmed in an effort to be put back down. “None of that.”
With James in her arms, she walked the garden path to meet her husband.
“It’s done,” he said as he reached her. He did not look pleased about the fact, no sense of triumph or pride. Rather, there was a reserved nature in his expression, perhaps even guilt.
“Lord Wembley…”
“Arrested,” he said. “I doubt we will be hearing from him again.”
“My sister?”
“She is remorseful,” he said. “Just as I believe that she did not mean to hurt you. She acted on impulse, a false notion of love, and she was betrayed.”
“And my stepmother?” she pressed.
Marcus shook his head. “Would you believe that she was more sorry than anyone? I think she was speaking truthfully when she said that she wants to repair your relationship when they return.”
Lucy did not smile when she heard this. She did not sneer.
Rather, she breathed out as if to expel the tension that she did not known was there.
Her relationship with her stepmother had always been strained, even painful – her stepmother had made it so.
And never had she imagined that she would want a relationship with her.
Now, Lucy realized that she was past hating the woman. As a mother herself, she understood the lengths one might go through to protect their own, and she was willing to concede that maybe her stepmother was merely acting on a feigned notion of motherly instinct.
It will not be easy, it will likely never be perfect, but if she wants to try, I will let her. And who knows, maybe one day we will be the family I had always hoped.
“It’s done then,” she sighed.
“It is,” Marcus said. His brow furrowed then, and his expression turned strained. “No, actually. There is… there is one more thing.”
“Oh?” Her heart skipped a beat.
“I told you already of my feelings, Lucy,” he began with a deep sigh.
“When you woke last week, I told you how wrong I have been, and how I want to do better. And I meant it too. Every word.” He looked at her for an answer, and she said nothing.
“It should not have taken you falling so ill for me to realize what I want. Nor should it have taken so many chances – most of which, I do not deserve.”
“It is not about what you want, Marcus,” she said. “I think you have known that for a long time. It is about admitting it to yourself and accepting it.”
“I know…”
“You were hurt as a child,” she continued. “Your notion of relationships, of being emotionally available was twisted and manipulated. I know well why you did as you did. What I want to know is…” She made sure to be looking right at him. “Are you truly ready to change?”
“I am,” he said. “I am ready. I know that now.”
“And how can I believe that?”
He winced. “I… all I can give you is my word. I will not rush you. I will never ask you to force your feelings for me. If it takes a year, I will wait. If it takes ten years, I will wait.”
“And twenty?”
“Twenty…” He grimaced and then stood tall. “The rest of my life. I want a family with you, Lucy. I want a life with you. I…” He considered her, his eyes turning to James. “Might I hold him?”
“Oh.” She blinked at the suddenness of the request. “Of course.” She handed James to Marcus, and he took the boy without hesitation.
The way he scooped James into his arms was done naturally, as if he was born to it. James immediately turned and clung to Marcus’ shirt, and Marcus smiled to see the baby’s obsession with him.
“I will always be there for you and James,” he assured her as he held the baby. “Take your time to decide how you feel about me. Make me prove myself. What I did today, that was a start, one I hope you recognize. But if it is not enough, I accept that.”
“Today?” She frowned as if she did not understand. “Oh… you mean coming to my rescue, facing down my attacker, and forgiving my sister as I asked you to? And without argument or question? Is that what you mean?”
“Well… yes.”
“Being by my side, you mean,” she continued with a coy smile. “Being there for me. Showing my family how you feel about me, and what you are willing to do to protect me. Is that what you did?”
“I…” He frowned with confusion. “Yes, that’s… I told you I would help, Lucy, that I would see justice done. I did that. I did it for you.”
“No,” she corrected, her smile growing. “You did it for us.”
He blinked. “For us?”
Marcus had James in one arm, so she took him by his spare hand. “You’re right, Marcus. Too many times I gave you a chance to prove to me what you wanted, that this life was something that you and I could share together. And too many times you broke my trust.”
“I –”
“But I never doubted your words,” she spoke over him.
“I never doubted the truth in them. That was not the problem. The problem was that you were not willing to believe them yourself. And for a while there, I thought you never would.” She squeezed his hand as she held his eyes.
“But you know what? I think that time has passed.”
“Re – really?” he said hopefully.
“Look at yourself,” she said with soft laughter. “Two weeks ago, you would never have asked to hold James. You would not have even been in the same room as him. Now, I can hardly separate the two of you.”
He grinned. “He is rather adorable, isn’t he.”
“And today,” she continued. “I know you think that you were doing that for me, but you were really doing it for us. You did it so that we could be together, so that nothing could come between us. That is the action I wanted to see, and that is the action that you gave me.”
“Does that mean…” He swallowed. “That you forgive me?”
“It’s not about forgiving you.” She sighed and shook her head. “It is about believing you. And yes, I think that finally I do.”
Lucy had known that she would come to this decision for some time.
It was the day she woke up from her sickness and saw Marcus playing with James on the floor that had done it.
It was not that he sat by her bed for three days straight.
It was not that he apologized and asked for another chance.
It was that he finally accepted who he was, even when he did not think that she was looking.
For weeks now, Lucy had felt herself falling in love with Marcus. She had fought back those feelings. She had denied them. Now, she saw no point in doing such a thing, because the look he held her in told her how he felt: that he loved her.
“I love you, Marcus. I probably should not, you have given me every reason not to but…” She sighed and let her smile show. “I suppose I am a slow learner.”
“As am I,” he beamed. “I love you too, Lucy, and I cannot wait to spend the rest of my life showing you just how much.”
“Why wait?”
With those words said, there was but one thing left to do. Marcus still held James in his arm, and she saw him look about to put the baby down. But Lucy stopped him from doing that. Their love was not just for them, but for James too, as he was a part of this family. He was their son.
So, she stepped forward, one hand resting on James’ back, the other keeping a hold of Marcus’ hand. She leaned up, her eyes flicked to his lips, and he moved to her as if pulled by an unseen force.
It was their second kiss, but it felt like their first.
The moment their lips touched, any chance that Marcus might have been lying, any reservations that Lucy might have felt, melted away. That single kiss was felt in Lucy’s heart, in her soul, and it wrapped them both so that they were the only two in the world who mattered… well, them and James.
James giggled as he was pressed between them. Lucy grinned at the noise. Marcus pressed his lips on hers for a moment longer, breathing her in and relishing her taste, before pulling away.
“Shall we go?” Lucy asked with a smile.
“Go where?”
“Inside? For a walk? Anywhere,” she said. “So long as we are together.”
Marcus held her hand as he led her through the garden and back inside the house. Where he took her made no difference. What they might do now did not matter one bit. They were together, they were finally a family, and that was why Lucy’s heart soared.
She had not wanted this. She had not dreamed of it, sought after it, or demanded it. Now that she had it, she could not imagine her life being any other way, and that alone was enough to tell her that this was the right path to walk.
And walk it she would, from now to the end of her days, with her husband and her son by her side.