Chapter 10
Chapter Ten
“It was a wonderful idea of yours to go for a walk. We never do this often enough,” Margaret said.
They were walking through the same quiet park where Rose and Edmund had shared a picnic. The afternoon was approaching, and the sun was warm on Rose’s cheeks. Margaret carried a parasol, and the two women walked close enough that they both benefited from its shade.
“I agree, Mother. It is good to get out of the house,” Rose said, almost as an afterthought, for her gaze scanned the trees, bushes, and the farthest areas of the park.
“I suppose this park must have made quite an impression on you if you were keen to return so quickly, or perhaps it was your companion who made the impression,” Margaret said with a wry smile.
Rose tried to mask her frustration, although she was not entirely successful.
“It was the park,” she said bluntly. “Although I am grateful to His Grace for introducing me to this hidden gem. It makes me wonder what other treasures London is hiding.”
“I am sure His Grace can show you many more. You do have four other promenades, at least,” Margaret said.
Rose couldn’t help but notice the extra emphasis she placed on these last two words, for she still hoped that there would be more meetings.
Margaret must have been hoping that the fifth promenade would be a wedding.
Rose offered a small smile, not wanting to get into an argument with her mother.
She had agreed to these five promenades, and she would not cause trouble.
Although she was not willing to speak about Edmund in effusive terms yet, either.
If she were too extreme in her shifting attitude, it might raise suspicion.
“We should make the most of the weather this summer. Perhaps we should hold a picnic here. I am sure everyone would love to be in these surroundings. It would be so much fun. That looks like a nice patch for croquet,” she pointed to a flat grassy area.
“It sounds like a fine idea. Perhaps Father could join in as well, for a change.”
Margaret sighed and shook her head. “He has never favored the outdoors. The fresh air makes him feel heady. But it doesn’t matter. We can still have our fun.”
“Indeed.” Rose was searching for any hint of movement.
The dog surely couldn’t have gone far, although at present it seemed to have deserted the park.
All she wanted to know was that it was safe.
It filled her heart with sorrow to think about a small creature like that being lost in such a big city.
What if nobody took pity upon it at all? It was enough to move her to tears, although she surreptitiously wiped them away with a brush of her fingers. Margaret didn’t seem to notice, so struck was she by the beauty of her surroundings.
“I must say that I am glad you are finally beginning to see sense, Rose. I am sorry that it took such drastic measures to make you see the light, but the problem is that you have always been single-minded like your father. But a little humility goes a long way. We must always remember that we do not know everything, and that life can throw surprises our way.”
“Is that how you felt when you met Father?” Rose asked.
A wistful smile came upon Margaret’s face.
“Actually, no. There was nothing surprising about your father. In fact, the whole matter was discussed and arranged before we’d even met.
Our parents decided that we would be a good match, and back in those days, it was seen as unseemly to go against the wishes of one’s parents,” Margaret said, with an overt look in Rose’s direction.
“Perhaps your parents should have taught you to be more outspoken, as you did with me,” Rose said in a playful way.
“I am not sure we ever taught you to be this way, Rose. It just seemed to happen on its own. Besides, even if I were, I would not have stopped it.”
“Really? Even though Father was not your choice?”
“I trusted my parents’ judgment. They made a good match, and our marriage has benefited us both. I cannot see a way in which my life would be improved if I were married to another man, and of course, I would have never given birth to you.”
“I am glad you’re happy, Mother,” Rose said, although there was something about Margaret’s words that struck Rose as being hollow.
There was no glow in her eyes when she spoke about Thomas, no warmth or excitement in her voice.
She was content, if not happy, but was that enough? Was that all anyone should hope for?
Rose did not want to live a shadow of a life with a man she was forced to tolerate for the sake of her own sanity.
When she looked at her parents, she did not see that marriage was something she should aspire to.
They had a stable life, but most of their happiness was derived from things they did separately.
Thomas enjoyed playing cards and building models, as well as appreciating artwork.
Margaret enjoyed socializing, being outdoors, and engaging in fun activities with others.
Rose kept the thought to herself, but she wondered if they ever would have encountered each other if it hadn’t been for the intervention of their parents.
“And you could be too, Rose. I know that independence is a gift, but marriage is not a weakness. Sometimes I feel as though you are being stubborn for the sake of it, when you are intelligent enough to understand the benefits that come with marriage and companionship.”
“I am not opposed to marriage, I simply wish to wait for the right man,” Rose said.
This was not strictly true, but she wanted to seed hints for the moment when she revealed that she did want to marry Edmund, only for him to leave her in a dastardly move that would lead to an outpouring of sympathy from her parents, and would give Rose cause to banish the subject of marriage from her presence.
“And His Grace could well be the right man. I learned a lot about him from Agatha during our visit to Stonewood Manor. He has carried responsibility when he was young, taking care of his sisters after their parents died in that tragic accident.”
Rose nodded. She hadn’t broached the subject with Edmund, but knew that it had taken a heavy toll on Lydia, who still became emotional now and always hated it when parents were killed in books.
“It demonstrates a certain type of strength and loyalty. I know he has his reputation, but his actions speak for themselves. He has done right by his family, and that is the most important thing. You should know, surely, Lydia speaks highly of him?”
“She does, but strength by itself does not qualify someone to be my husband. I wish to know that he is right for me in every way, not simply because he is there. Please be patient with me, Mother. I know you are anxious to hear an announcement for a wedding, but I must proceed in my own time and make the decision when I feel it is right.”
“I suppose I should be content, given your refusal to entertain the notion before. At least you are keeping an open mind. But think about it, Rose, one day you could be a duchess,” Margaret’s eyes glistened with the promise of prestige.
Rose was still searching for the dog. Her gaze drifted toward the copse where she had chased the dog, and where Edmund had followed.
Her chest tightened, and a lump formed in her throat as she remembered the way his hands folded around hers, how his lips were mere inches from her face, how his breath was warmer than the air around them.
At the time, her head had been light, and it was the same now.
She couldn’t excuse it because of blood loss either.
The fact was that Edmund had been charming, and he had been attentive, and he had put genuine thought into their promenade.
He had abided by all her rules, and she could not pull him up for any inappropriate behavior because she was the one who had run off, and it was only out of concern for her safety that he followed.
Margaret lowered her voice to a private whisper.
“I am your mother, and I know you better than yourself, Rose. I know that your heart is softer than you would like to admit. I just hope your pride does not get in the way of your happiness. Even now, I can see that you can barely concentrate on this conversation. I know you will deny it, but I can only imagine that you are thinking about the time you spent with His Grace.”
Rose’s cheeks became flushed with color. She wasn’t prepared to admit that she was concerned with a stray dog, because she knew her mother would think it was a lie. She kept her lips pressed shut, and they moved on, with Margaret instead thinking about some upcoming events.
When it came time to leave the park, Rose was reluctant, but she could hardly remain for an indefinite period of time in the hope of finding the dog again.
There was no sign of it, and she could only hope it had found a warm and comforting place to stay.
Maybe a kind person had taken it into their home and filled its stomach with hearty portions of meat.
However, she could not shake the feeling that it might have limped away to a cold, dark place, curling up in an attempt to stay warm, whimpering helplessly because, for some reason, it could not trust others.
She put her head in her hands and quietly wondered why Lydia would ever want to fall in love.
If Rose felt this sad over an animal she had only briefly met, how much more torn would her heart be by the chaos of romantic love? No, it was better and safer to stay away from it entirely. Being alone was the only way to keep herself safe.
And being together with Edmund was dangerous.
She vowed that she would not be charmed by him again, and she would never again let him get too close to her. Whatever their next promenade was to be, she would keep as far from him as possible, and he would just have to cope with the distance.