Chapter 12
Chapter Twelve
“How was the Royal Academy?” Edmund’s grandmother, Agatha, asked. She was always dressed up as though she was going to a social event, although there was nothing on the agenda for the evening. She smiled widely, and her eyes twinkled.
“It was fine, although I found myself underwhelmed by their collection. I believe they should be pulled up for boasting about mediocre paintings.”
“If they told the truth, then they wouldn’t attract many visitors now, would they?
It reminds me of a man I once knew. He lived in Hamburg.
He told me he was devilishly handsome, very tall, and broad-shouldered.
He made himself sound like a titan! Well, when he came over, and of course this was before I met your grandfather, who was never anything but honest with me, I did not recognize him at all. ”
Edmund pressed his lips together and masked his irritation at having to listen to another of his grandmother’s interminable stories.
She had so many that by this point, he had no idea how much truth there was to any of them.
For all he knew, she might have been conjuring them from the depths of her mind.
“He had no chin to speak of, and he wasn’t tall at all.
In fact, I could look down my nose at him, and I wasn’t even a woman of great stature then.
I certainly am not now. I had to admire his confidence to lie so brazenly, though, especially when he knew the truth would be revealed.
He kissed my hand and smiled as though we were destined to be together.
Now, he was quite charming and had a good sense of humor, especially for a German, but I could never quite get past that first lie. Anyway… where were we?”
“The Royal Academy.”
“Ah, yes, yes. Well, in truth, it wasn’t for the paintings that you went, was it? There was only one work of art you were concerned with. The lovely Lady Rose,” Agatha said with a wide smile.
Edmund pinched his lips together.
“Indeed, and she was more captivating than anything else,” he replied, maintaining the illusion that he had invested more than money in these promenades.
Agatha’s eyebrows rose, and she smiled widely.
“Good! I am glad, Edmund. It will be good for the family to have another wedding, another celebration. A cloud of gloom settled over us for too long, but with Mary and Charlotte getting married... Oh, you and Lydia will follow soon as well, I am sure. It makes an old woman happy to see her family thriving.”
“I am glad to make you happy, Grandmother, although I cannot promise anything. Lady Rose is a strong-willed woman.”
Agatha wagged a finger in the air. “That will not be any trouble for you. You’ve been surrounded by strong-willed women all your life.”
Her words echoed in Edmund’s mind, and once again he was pulled into a memory, this time of a conversation that took place shortly before his parents died.
“We need to talk about the future, Edmund,” his father said.
They were in a drawing room. His father had poured two glasses of brandy.
It was the first time Edmund was allowed to share a drink with his father, although he knew what brandy tasted like.
He’d stolen a few sips from the liquor cabinet when he was younger and hadn’t liked the taste, but now, when he sipped it, it was more pleasing to his tongue.
“People are always telling me to think of the future. I am sure that Professor Helmsley does not think of anything else. But how am I to focus on the present if I am always thinking of the future?”
His father nodded with a prudent look on his face.
“That is a good point, Edmund. It is always a good idea to focus on the present moment, but one must also keep an eye on the future. You are becoming a man, and soon enough, it will be time for you to make decisions that will shape the rest of your life. You must consider them carefully and never do anything in a rash manner, for that way lies ruin. Think about the kind of man you want to be, the kind of life you want to have.”
“A good life filled with adventure. I want to go exploring and see the world, just like you and Mother,” he puffed out his chest as he said this, and then took another sip of brandy, although it made him cough.
His father smiled.
“And what of your family?”
“They will be fine.”
“Who will look after your sisters?”
“You will,” Edmund said.
“I hope I will. But what if something happens to your mother and me? You are my heir, Edmund. We will not be around forever, although I certainly hope we last as long as possible. But at some point, you will be responsible for Stonewood, and you must take care of your sisters. It’s important for you to be supported, and to have an heir of your own.
Have you even thought about what kind of wife you might like? ”
“A beautiful one. Helen of Troy reborn, one who is worthy of song and poem,” he said with a broad smile.
His father chuckled.
“All good qualities, I am sure. But I have found that what is most important is having a partner to stand with you through the triumphs of life, and the tragedies, for there will be tragedies.” His face took on a solemn expression.
“Do not be afraid of people who speak their mind and challenge you, Edmund. I know many men want a biddable wife who will do as they say, but that will not help you grow as a person. The best thing I ever did, aside from having you, was marrying your mother. Never be afraid of someone who knows their own mind, because they will be strong when you need them to be.”
“And perhaps that is why I would like someone different,” Edmund said, pushing the anguished memory away from his mind.
Agatha chuckled. “You would not last a moment with a tame wife. She would only bore you. No, you’re a man who needs a bit of fire. Your father was just the same.”
“I am not like my father,” Edmund said, his voice quiet.
“Pardon?” Agatha asked.
Edmund sighed and brought the conversation to a close, as he did not wish to be reminded of the past any further.
“It was nothing, Grandmother. I wish to rest for a little while now.”
“I hope that I get to meet her soon. I would love to speak with the woman who caused you to part with so much money. I know you’re a gambling man, but this is a large wager even for you!”
Edmund bowed his head and left his grandmother’s company. He got George to fetch him some refreshment and attempted to push aside the feelings that troubled him. He’d almost shared too much with Rose. What was it about her that disarmed him?
First, there was the copse, where their close proximity played with his mind and drew him to her as though he were a puppet with invisible strings.
Then there was the Royal Academy, when the paintings and her questions had elicited something within him, something that was lodged deep inside.
Her questions were insistent, and he had no intention of sharing that part of himself with her, and yet he had almost come so close to doing just that.
It was clear that for the third promenade, he needed to think of an event, something spectacular that would keep them occupied and keep conversation to a minimum.
It would need to be something Rose enjoyed; however, since he was not sure himself, he decided to ask someone who would know.
He found Lydia reading in her favorite place, sitting in a French window.
When Edmund entered the room, he was struck by how much she looked like their mother.
She often used to read like that as well, and as a boy, Edmund would often climb onto her lap, and she would show him the various illustrations of plants and herbs in the books she studied.
There were ghosts everywhere, and they only seemed to become more insistent as he grew older.
Lydia looked up from her book and offered a light smile. Although she was still irritated by this matter with Rose, she was never one to hold a grudge.
“How were things today?” she asked.
“Fine, just fine.”
“I hope you have not offended her enough to make her want to stop being my friend.”
Edmund feigned offense and put his hand upon his chest. “Do you truly believe that I could have such an effect on a woman? I have been nothing but a gentleman, and have abided by all her rules.”
“Rules?” Lydia asked, setting the book aside. Edmund sank into a chair and put his hands behind his head.
“Yes, she is quite a fastidious woman, your friend. She never rises before a certain hour; she wants every meeting between us to happen in public, although not anywhere too busy, because she doesn’t wish for her shoes to get muddy.
It does make it quite challenging to think about interesting locations. ”
Lydia giggled and suppressed a smile. “I see.”
Edmund leaned forward and adopted a serious expression. “I was rather hoping that you would help me. Even though I have seen Rose twice, I feel as though I do not know her all that well, and certainly not as well as you do. What does she like?”
“You are concerned with what she likes?” Lydia asked, a hint of surprise entering her voice. Edmund quickly cleared his throat and shook his head.
“It’s just a figure of speech,” he denied. “I mean to say that I would like our outings to be interesting for both of us.”
“Of course, you would hate to be bored.”
“Yes.”
“And it has nothing to do with being thoughtful or considerate.”
Edmund shuddered at the words. “Such things are poison to me,” he overstated.
Lydia sighed and shook her head before folding her hands in her lap.
“Well, the first thing you need to know about Rose is that she prefers the countryside over ballrooms. If she had her way, she would never set foot in a ballroom again. She enjoys riding, animals, and feeling the wind in her hair.”
“Riding? But she gave me the impression that she was precious about her shoes.”
“People are not always what they seem, Edmund. You should know that more than most.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” he asked, but before Lydia could say anything else, he continued speaking, not wishing to engage in such a ridiculous line of conversation. “Well, then, I shall arrange something that takes place outside. I would not want to bore her.”
“I am sure she will be glad that you put so much thought into it.”
Edmund waved a dismissive hand in the air. “It is no great effort. I shall simply get George to arrange it. I am merely doing Rose a courtesy, Lydia. I am not going to be a bore for her.”
“Of course not, brother. Nobody would ever accuse you of being a bore.”
“Indeed. Such a thing would be a great sin. Well, there we have it,” he slapped his thighs and stood up. “I shall leave you to your reading now. What book is capturing your attention?”
“It’s called Eternal Love in an Endless War.”
Edmund made a face. “That sounds dreadful,” he said, then left her to it.
Lydia was smiling to herself as he left the room, enjoying a private joke.
Edmund paused to look at her and, once again, reflected on her growing into a woman.
How the years turned, he thought. His baby sister was becoming a woman and might soon be a wife.
And he had become a man, but he wasn’t the kind of man his father had hoped he would be. A knot tightened in his stomach, and a bitter taste appeared at the back of his throat. He pushed the thought aside and found George.
“Prepare two horses for the day after tomorrow. I am going to ride with Lady Rose.”
“Very good, Your Grace.”
Edmund was planning to test Rose and expose her lies. And then a devilish idea flashed in his mind.
“And there’s another thing,” he continued. “Start sending out invitations for an event next week. I am going to host a small gathering here to take advantage of the fair weather. There shall be riding and games. Invite the usual suspects, nobody dull. I do not wish for stiff conversation.”
“As you wish, Your Grace,” George said. Edmund smiled. That had settled the third and fourth promenades, and after that, there would only be one left. Suddenly, it did not seem like an awful lot, and he wondered if he would ever get a true sense of what Rose was like.
As George left the room, Edmund called out after him.
“I don’t suppose there has been any word about the dog?” he asked.
“None, Your Grace,” George said.
Edmund nodded. It had been a long shot, after all, but still, he couldn’t help but feel disappointed. He moved to the window, and when he stared at the ghost of his reflection, he could almost believe his father was looking back at him. In his eyes, he saw dismay and shame.
Edmund turned away, knowing he had not lived the life his parents wanted for him.