Chapter 16
Chapter Sixteen
“My lady, what happened to you? I thought you were resting!” Jenny said. The maid had been pacing outdoors and rushed to the carriage as soon as Rose appeared. She took Rose’s hands and looked astonished at the state of Rose’s dress.
“I… It’s a long story,” Rose said. “Perhaps you can help me inside and help me out of these clothes.”
Jenny ushered her inside, and they hurried upstairs.
Jenny quickly helped Rose undress and then dried her off with a towel, wiping all the damp areas.
Rose stood with her arms outstretched, feeling the soft towel wrap around her skin.
It wasn’t like Edmund’s arms, and she was annoyed that the thought sliced through her mind like an assassin’s dagger.
“My lady… You were safe, weren’t you?”
“Yes, I was perfectly safe,” Rose said, allowing the frustration to creep into her voice. “If you must know what happened, I merely wanted to test the Duke of Stonewood to make sure he would act as a gentleman if I were unchaperoned.”
“I must say, my lady, that does seem a big risk to take.”
“Perhaps, but it is a good thing that he was indeed a gentleman.”
“That is a relief. I can’t imagine what Lord and Lady Bolton would do if anything untoward happened.”
“Well, nothing like that did happen,” Rose said. “Besides, I should be allowed to make these judgments myself.”
“But what happened to get you into such a state?”
“It was my own fault. I wasn’t taking proper care, and I slipped on the edge of the lake,” Rose said. Jenny finished off with her hair and then helped Rose into a fresh dress. Rose felt much better after being cleansed and changed.
“Lord and Lady Bolton are expecting you for dinner,” Jenny said, with a wary look on her face.
“Please tell them I shall be down presently,” Rose said.
Jenny inclined her head and stepped out of the room. Rose was given a few moments to compose herself, which she felt more able to do in her own house than in the carriage, still wearing a damp dress.
It didn’t mean that her thoughts were untroubled, though.
She was getting weaker around Edmund every time she met him, and she wasn’t entirely sure why.
She had always considered herself beyond such things.
Whenever she read books about weak-willed women who were prone to falling in love with rogues, not strong enough to brace themselves against their feelings, she always considered herself to be more resilient and had vowed never to fall into the same traps.
Yet here was Edmund with his gentle hands and captivating smile, along with the chaos in her mind that never seemed to settle.
She placed her hand upon her abdomen and breathed slowly, attempting to calm herself before her heart went racing off again like a galloping horse.
There has to be a simpler and more sensible explanation.
She was tempted by the thrill of it. That must have been it.
The excitement, the laughter, the way he challenged her.
There were no genuine feelings. There couldn’t be because she still didn’t know the man that lay beyond the mask he projected.
There was no room for love in her heart, and she was simply getting confused by the exhilaration.
This was a situation she had never been in before, and she was just overwhelmed. It would have been like thrusting herself into sunlight after a bleak winter, or gorging on food after fasting, or throwing herself into a fire after being caught in the snow.
And soon enough, this would be over, and her life would return to normal, and then she could feel settled again.
It had to be this, she convinced herself, because the alternative was that her feelings were genuine and her heart was betraying her resolve and her intentions.
And, if that were the case, then she would have to end the arrangement as per Edmund’s instructions.
She had her rules, and he had his. And if the arrangement ended early, then it might prove more difficult to persuade her parents that she was distraught. She would have to start being more complimentary about Edmund, so her despair seemed true.
Rose eventually descended the stairs for dinner. The mood was tense, and her father gave her a stern look.
“You returned without a chaperone. What is the meaning of this, Rose? Why did you not tell us that you were going out?”
“I do apologize, Father. I can only say that it slipped my mind.”
“Slipped your mind?” Thomas spluttered, a bewildered look coming upon his face. “That is not like you, Rose.”
“Do not be too hard on her, Thomas. She is smitten. It’s only natural that she should show some misjudgment when her thoughts are occupied by... other matters,” Margaret said.
“You should not lose your reason, Rose,” Thomas warned.
“I am sorry, Father, but it’s as Mother said. I was so thrilled to receive His Grace’s note that I could not stop myself from leaving as soon as possible. I will endeavor to make more of an effort to remain responsible.”
Thomas seemed satisfied at this, although he was not happy. He leaned forward, and his face was carved into lines of worry.
“Perhaps I need to have words with the Duke of Stonewood. I thought he understood the responsibilities and procedure that came with this process. I tried not to allow myself to be swayed by his reputation, but it might be well-earned.”
“Please do not feel that you have to do so, Father. Edmund was nothing but a gentleman. He has treated me with nothing but respect, and I could not have asked for a better suitor. In fact, I must admit that I… well… I am growing rather fond of him.”
As these words slipped from her lips, she realized they were not entirely a lie, and perhaps that was why she did not feel too guilty about telling them to her parents. Although it left her with a strange feeling in her stomach that had nothing to do with hunger.
Margaret smiled widely at this and pressed her palms together, almost as though she was saying thanks to a higher authority.
“I am so glad to hear that, Rose. I did hope that this would happen, and I am glad that you have been true to your promise to keep an open mind, and an open heart,” Margaret said.
“Although we must make sure that the next outing is fully supervised. Once is a mistake, but twice starts to become a pattern, and I would not want to see you fall into bad habits,” Thomas said.
“Oh, Thomas, please don’t lecture her like this. We have spent so long asking her to spend time with a suitor that we can hardly complain when she does as we ask. Besides, we have raised her properly. I doubt she would give in to His Grace even if he became too… adamant.”
“I should hope so!” Thomas arched his eyebrows even higher and pressed his palm against the table. Then he shook his head.
“I must impress upon you, Father, that His Grace has not made me feel uncomfortable at all, and he has not overstepped any boundaries. Today was my mistake and my mistake alone. I hope that it does not color your opinion of His Grace, although if you wish to spend more time with him, I am sure he’ll be pleased to do so.
He has spoken highly of you, and I am sure that there will be plenty of opportunities for you to spend time together in the future. ”
Rose gave a sweet smile, and Margaret’s smile widened at this hint of good news.
She relaxed in her chair and placed her hands in her lap, looking far more relaxed than she had been in a long time.
Rose almost wished that her feelings were genuine because her parents had placed so much hope in her future.
It was nourishing their impoverished souls, and soon enough, it would be ripped away from them again.
Was she a monster? Perhaps, but she had to remind herself that she had never asked for this situation. She was simply trying to make the best of it while she could, and it wasn’t as though she was breaking Edmund’s heart.
“Besides Thomas, if there was a hint of scandal, well… it wouldn’t necessarily be a bad thing,” Margaret said, fluttering her eyelashes.
Again, Thomas looked shocked. This time, his cheeks became flushed with color, and he looked at his wife as though she had just started talking in a foreign language.
“How on earth could you say such a thing, Margaret? Why would we want our daughter to be linked to a scandal?”
“Not an actual scandal, but people do talk, and there are often whispers that roam around London. And if such rumors swirled around the Duke of Stonewood, it might make him more inclined to offer a proposal sooner rather than later.”
Thomas listened to this and leaned back in his chair. He put his hand upon his chin and started to stroke it pensively, considering something he had not thought about before.
“I suppose that would be a boon, although I hope that we will not have to rely on such tactics. We do not wish to trap anyone into a situation, do we?”
“No, Father,” Rose said, although she certainly felt trapped herself. But now she felt it was prudent to confide in her parents and begin the plan that would lead to her eternal liberation.
“I must confess that I do have feelings for His Grace, feelings that are growing stronger every time we meet. I am not sure if it was the same for you when you met,” she said, even though she knew it wasn’t.
“I find myself thinking about him even when we are not together. I have woken up with a smile, and I sleep more peacefully than before. I find myself to be quite overwhelmed with these things I have never felt before.”
Margaret moved around the table to come and sit beside Rose. She took Rose’s hand and gazed into her eyes.
“Nothing makes me happier than to hear you say this, Rose. I know that these feelings can be powerful, but they are nothing to fear, and you can be comforted by knowing that Edmund feels the same way. You will grow used to them in time, and then you will be left with a fine, steady marriage, just like mine and your father’s.
” Margaret smiled at Thomas as she said this.
“I am just glad that you have allowed yourself to be open to these feelings. At one point, I thought you were so adamant you would refuse them even if you felt them,” Thomas said.
“I have been made aware of other people who felt like I did, like Charlotte, Lydia, and His Grace’s cousin.
She was once convinced she would never be married, yet she now has a family and is quite happy.
Seeing her made me realize that perhaps I was mistaken, and I should make an effort to fall in love before I dismiss it entirely.
To do otherwise would have been arrogant,” she admitted.
Margaret squeezed her hand and then leaned into Rose, pulling her close.
“This is so wonderful, Rose. You don’t know how happy this makes us. I must start thinking about an outfit to wear to the wedding.”
“Please, Mother, while I am looking forward to the future, there is still His Grace to consider. My wishes are not necessarily his wishes,” Rose said.
“Don’t speak like that, Rose. How could he not love you? I am sure that when these outings are over, there will be wedding bells to follow. Perhaps the last promenade will be the occasion for his proposal!”
Rose smiled, although she did not harbor such hopes.
The fifth proposal would end in fake tears as she returned home to tell her mother that she would not become a duchess, and that Edmund would never propose to her.
She would be so distraught, she would swear off weddings and romance and men entirely, and her parents would have no cause to argue.
It was going to be the happiest day of her life, she thought, and it couldn’t come soon enough.
“I do hope so, Mother. I can’t wait to see His Grace again. If I feel this way now, then I can only imagine how happy I shall be upon our fourth meeting. Thank you again for arranging all of this. I am quite certain that Edmund is the man for me, and I could never imagine being with anyone else.”