Chapter 20
Chapter Twenty
Clara was staring up at Rose with eyes that were impossibly wide and far too demanding for a child her age.
“Clara, you should not ask such personal questions,” Lydia said in a scolding tone, offering an apologetic glance to Rose.
“Charlotte told me that I should never be afraid to ask questions. It is the only way we can understand the world and the people around us. So, are you going to marry Uncle Edmund or not?” Clara asked.
There was a hint of animosity in her voice, and the way she carried herself made her seem older than she truly was.
“I am afraid I cannot answer that. I would have to wait for him to ask me first,” Rose replied diplomatically.
“And if he did?” Clara demanded. She was clearly not going to let this matter rest.
“I… I… would be a fool if I did not. I cannot think of a finer gentleman in London than Edmund,” Rose replied, feeling a shudder in her heart as she lied.
“My ears are burning,” Edmund said as he stepped out from behind a group of people nearby.
Rose’s heart sank, and a look of horror crossed her face.
Uneasy tingles spread across her shoulders and arms, and at that moment, all she wanted was for the floor to open up and swallow her whole.
“It is wonderful to know that I am held in such high esteem,” he added.
Clara brightened when Edmund arrived. She reached up and took Edmund’s hand, widening her eyes.
“Edmund, will you spin me later at the dance floor?”
“Of course, Clara, you know I always have time for you,” Edmund said.
“Come, Clara, I wish to speak to your mother,” Lydia said, although Rose knew that Lydia was just using this as an excuse to give Edmund and Rose a moment alone. She took Clara’s hand. Clara pouted and craned her neck back to look at Edmund for as long as possible.
“I didn’t mean it,” Rose said quickly.
“That there is no finer gentleman in London? Of course, I am sure you misspoke. You must have meant that there is no finer gentleman in the world.”
Rose’s brow furrowed, but she quickly hid the scowl when she saw Amelia out of the corner of her eye, knowing it was unbecoming of a lady to scowl like that.
It was the first time in a long while that she cared about what others thought.
“No, I meant about marriage. I am just keeping up appearances for the sake of your family.”
“I see, and here I thought that we were not supposed to speak about marriage. Have you forgotten your own rules already?” Edmund said in a circumspect manner, and she feared that he did not fully believe her.
Moreover, she worried that the more she pressed the matter, the more unconvincing she would be.
Rose blushed and stammered, annoyed that he had called her out on this transgression.
“Well,” Edmund continued, “you can rest assured that no proposal shall be delivered tonight.”
“Good,” Rose said, although the feelings in her heart were confused. She could not distinguish between hope and fear. She also noticed that he only mentioned tonight, not the rest of the party. “By the way, is there something… off with Clara?”
“Off? No, she’s harmless. She just has a good sense of who she is, that’s all. She’s always preferred the company of adults. I think she believes that children her age are too silly for her.”
“I see.”
“And how are you enjoying yourself?”
“I am well, thank you. It seems everyone is in good spirits, and you have certainly created an occasion people will remember. I can’t remember the last time my parents were enthused about attending a social event.”
“And yourself? I hoped to show you that it is not social events themselves that are boring, but just that dreary people throw dreary parties. We have barely begun,” Edmund said. “Speaking of which…”
He turned around and loudly clapped his hands to get people’s attention. He shouted at the top of his lungs for attention, which might have seemed quite crude if Edmund had not performed the act so naturally.
The cacophony of chatter died down quickly.
People huddled together, some of them excitedly, like her parents.
Rose had felt the stares weighing upon her all night and had tried to ignore the fragments of conversations she had overheard.
Plenty of people were speculating about the nature of their relationship and whether these occasions would shift from obligation to romance.
As she noticed everyone staring at her with expectant looks in their eyes, Rose felt an unsettling feeling in her heart.
She clasped her hands tightly together, and her breathing became shallow.
She had an eerie feeling that Edmund’s words were designed to disarm her, and now he might go in for the kill.
Now, he might turn and ask the question she was dreading, for how could she ever say ‘no’ in front of so many people?
Has this entire party been designed to trap me like this?
“I would now like to propose,” Edmund said, and Rose thought that she was going to faint, “that we all adjourn to the dining room where a grand feast awaits. Eat as much as you like, but be sure to leave room for cake!” he said, and promptly started ushering people toward the dining room.
Rose breathed with relief.
There was one grand table in the dining room, along with some smaller tables nearby, and somehow all the guests were able to sit comfortably. The room was alive with the clinking of cutlery, wine sloshing in glasses, and a comfortable, relaxed conversation.
Platters of food were brought out, so much so that everyone’s eyes popped, and Rose felt gorged by the sight of it.
“I couldn’t possibly eat this much,” Amelia said.
Rose chatted happily with Lydia and Charlotte. Nathaniel spoke most with Alfred, while Beatrice and Agatha were occupied with Amelia. There was an empty chair beside Rose, reserved for Edmund, although he did not settle.
He played the role of a perfect host, moving between tables and guests, making sure that he spoke to everyone for at least a few moments.
Rose tuned out from her conversation for a little while and tilted her head to listen to him.
He remembered everyone, and when he spoke to them, he made them feel as though they were the only person in the room.
It was quite a remarkable skill to be at ease with so many people, and it was no surprise that his reputation was well-earned.
If he noticed that someone’s wine glass was empty, he called over a servant.
If they were waiting for a particular dish, he called across the table to make sure their patience was not stretched thin.
He left everyone in a better mood than when he found them, and he seemed to genuinely care that everyone was having a good time.
Seeing him like this, in his natural element, provided more context for his behavior.
At first, Rose thought he was frivolous and adroit, acting as if nothing mattered at all.
But that wasn’t entirely true. Something did matter to him—life—and he took it very seriously.
He wanted everyone who visited his home to have a wonderful experience, and it filled her with a warm feeling in her chest.
She hadn’t even started eating yet, so she couldn’t ascribe this feeling to the food.
“You are a fortunate woman,” Amelia said, leaning toward her.
“Thank you,” Rose said, fluttering her eyelashes.
“It must feel you with such pride to know a man like him wants you for a wife.”
Rose stopped herself from blanching and maintained a polite smile.
“It is indeed, and quite fortuitous as well. I am sure you have heard about the unconventional way we met.”
“I have. I could hardly believe it when Aunt Beatrice told me, but how wonderful! Although I hope I have a more… traditional courtship.”
“I am sure there will not be any issues there. I have heard you being described as the diamond of the Season.”
Amelia turned inward and blushed. “It is very kind of people, although I cannot control what they say. I can only try and live up to their hopes and expectations.”
It was almost maddening how nice she was. While Lydia might have seen her as a rival, Rose did not. However, what she did see in Amelia was the kind of woman a duchess should be. Polite, demure, humble, radiant, well-spoken, graceful, and all the other qualities that were so noble.
Not stubborn, willful, independent, bold, feisty… and of course, Amelia embraced the rules and rigors of life that Rose shunned and actively worked to avoid. She glanced across the table at her parents and couldn’t help but think they would have been much happier if she was more like Amelia.
“Do not try to live up to impossible standards. Diamonds shine bright, and they attract a lot of grubby fingers. In my view, many people think they are worthy of a diamond and will say and do anything to get one. I should know, I was like you,” Beatrice turned toward Amelia with a knowing look on her face.
“You might not believe it by looking at me now, but I was the diamond of the Season, and I learned a lot of hard lessons,” Beatrice continued.
“Some people only want diamonds when they shine, or they want diamonds for the sake of having one. You want to find yourself someone who will care for you, who will want you even when the luster fades, because mark my words, it will. There are always prettier and more sparkly things to capture men’s attention.
Find someone who wants you for who you are, not just because you’re a diamond.
You’re supposed to marry someone, not simply to be worn,” Beatrice said.
“Those are wise words, I shall keep them in mind,” Amelia said politely. “Although I suppose you don’t have to worry about that anymore,” she added, turning to Rose.
“I suppose I don’t,” Rose said, smiling. “Do you happen to have any advice for me?”
“Oh I have advice for everyone, not that you’d know it because few people actually come to ask me for it.
All I will say is to prepare yourself because life with Edmund is not going to be easy, and it’s not going to be straightforward, but it is going to be fun.
Which is no bad thing, mind you. He’ll always find a way to make things interesting. ”
“I think I have already learned that myself,” Rose said.
“I can only hope that I shall meet a man of the same caliber as His Grace,” Amelia said.
“Just be patient, that’s the other piece of advice I will give you.
Do not settle for the first man who comes along because there will be plenty.
You will have the whole of London lining up at your door.
Most of them will be liars and charlatans, and it will be left to you to sort the wheat from the chaff… ” Beatrice said.
Rose tuned her out and turned her attention to Edmund, who was laughing heartily at the other end of the table.
She began to feel his absence keenly and wished he would sit beside her. The closeness and companionship they had shared felt lost amid all these other people, and she couldn’t help but want to be back at the lake, just the two of them.