Chapter Seventeen #2
She raised her chin and swallowed. She seemed at war with her own emotions, feeling something she did not wish to feel. Second by second she grew stronger in resolve. She took the smallest step forward and pointed her finger at my chest.
“I think you live your life without thought to the consequences. You say and do whatever you please, and you make everyone bend to your will. At the drop of a hat you might change your mind, your heart, and the rest of us must adjust. It is absurd—”
“I am the Duke of Marlow.”
She dropped her hand, her fury abandoned in an exhale. “Rest assured, we are all aware.”
The woman spoke in biting riddles aimed straight for the core of my lifeblood. She made me sound like some villain in her novels, and perhaps I was, but I had reason.
“I have a responsibility for your well-being until your brother returns, and I am using my best judgment. My only aim is to help you, to guide you where you deserve to be.”
She shook her head, unseeing. “Whyever do you care? Why do you care what happens to me? Or with whom I associate? It can mean nothing to you whether or not Lord Reynolds wishes to escort me to Drury Lane.”
Her words were a twist of the sword in my wounded heart. For I realized, in that moment, it meant everything to me.
She meant everything.
“Nothing to you,” she reiterated, frowning. “But it could mean everything for me once you’ve proposed to Lady Diana and I am gone.”
Gone? No, I could not fathom it. Why would she say such a thing? Did she want to leave? Perhaps in my lack of experience, I had misread her. I had thought only of myself.
“Is that what you want? My proposing to Lady Diana?” It was childish and aimed at the heart, but I wanted her to argue with me. I wanted her to tell me she felt as conflicted as I did.
She drew back, again shaking her head. Her eyes found mine. They searched and searched and seemed to come out wanting. “What I want has never been at play, Marlow.” She swallowed hard and frowned. “Did you not say only yesterday that I should prove them all wrong? Speak against the rumors?”
“This is different,” I insisted. My heart started to thrum a steady beat in my chest. The space between us suddenly felt excruciatingly important. How could I find the right words to explain that I could not lose her?
“How so?” Her fiery gaze stared into mine, lips parted. She was exasperated, and it was all my fault.
“Things between us”—I motioned with my hand—“are different than they were. We—”
“Miss Wood?” Maggie called.
Her eyes did not stray from mine. “We, what?”
“We . . .” I felt it. I had since we’d met, and it’d only grown stronger the more time we spent together. The space between us breathed like a living thing connecting us. Unexplainable. Indescribable.
At some point, I’d become tied to her. My very soul had been etched with her name.
“There you are.” Maggie’s voice carried from behind. “Lord Reynolds is leaving. He is clearly uncomfortable, and you both must fix this immediately!”
“Is he upset?” Georgiana peeled her gaze from mine.
“Noticeably. I think he fears the rumors concerning the two of you are true. We must douse them, now! Come!”
Georgiana looked to me, as confused and conflicted as I felt.
No . . . I was not confused. I knew exactly what this was.
I loved her.
I love her.
The plan had gone to rot, and it was all my fault. I needed time to think through a new one.
“Marlow!” Maggie snapped, and I jolted to attention.
Reynolds? The briefest thought of him putting his hands anywhere near Georgiana, let alone for an entire evening, made my jaw clench and my every muscle poise for the lunge.
But I did not enjoy her feeling cross with me. And she was right—I had encouraged her to speak against the rumors, to fight for the truth of who she was, and if Georgiana wanted to stand beside a man like Reynolds, then who was I to stop her?
Regardless of what she thought of me, I would not force her hand.
It was one night. Perhaps, afterward, I could persuade her into feeling something more . . . for me. I cleared my throat, too cowardly to look her in the eye. “Is this what you really want?”
Her feet shifted their weight. It was the longest moment stretched out in history. Her voice came out small. “For our second outing. Yes.”
I felt as though I’d lost a fortune at cards. The feeling rooted itself like a heavy rock at the bottom of my stomach. Not good enough, I remembered. Not for someone as brilliant as Georgiana. But neither was Reynolds. I wrapped the dukedom around me like a shield.
“He cannot take you alone. On that regard, I will not bend.”
Surprise writ across her face. My chest constricted at the hope in her eyes, a hope that I wished had been aimed at me. “Meaning . . . ?”
I wiped my face with a hand. “If Lord Reynolds wishes to be generous with his carriage, he can escort you all to Drury Lane.”
“All of us?” Maggie cut in. “And you will fetch Lady Diana alone?”
I frowned. What choice did I have? Apparently, Mother had already arranged for me to escort the lady. I’d assumed Georgiana would ride with Maggie and Gabriel. Now they’d have Lord Reynolds, but not for long. “We will find you among the crush.”
Maggie exchanged a look with Georgiana, who nodded once. “Very well. Come, Georgiana, let us arrange with Lord Reynolds. He asked to bid you farewell.”
Georgiana spared me a quick glance, one that I could not measure for better or worse, then followed Maggie back to the drawing room. Their footsteps pattered like rabbits across the black-and-white-checkered marble floor.
I sank back against the wall, wishing I could lower myself to the ground, alone and unbothered with a strong drink in hand.
But I was the Duke of Marlow. I had people relying on me. Depending on me. Affairs to oversee. Paperwork to sign. Problems to fix.
So I counted to three. I took in a long, deep breath and released it. Then I paced to my study, and began to work.