Chapter 4
CHAPTER 4
L ydia entered the crypt and looked back at the path. She’d sensed someone there but saw no one. It made her wonder if Oliver somehow knew about the secret tunnels, but she didn’t think he did. She hurried to shut the door before she sprinted across the mausoleum. She opened the hatch leading to the hidden passageway and closed it just before she heard the building’s main door open. Someone had followed her. She waited, confident this was the one entrance no one would stumble upon. Few would dare poke around where the dead laid to rest. Superstition and a sense of the morbid would deter most people. Those who overcame that wouldn’t find the latch, since it was miniscule and part of the carved decoration on the center of the slot’s door.
She couldn’t see who it was, but she was certain it was Oliver. No one had ever followed her in the more than fifteen years she’d been sneaking into Forde Abbey. It made a shiver run the length of her spine to know he’d been watching her door. It was the only way he could have known. His chamber faced the front of the house, and she hadn’t exited in that direction. She’d left through the kitchen and crept through the shadows of the arbor. Only someone watching her door, or the back of the house, would know she’d left. If he hadn’t been lurking near her door, then he’d lurked somewhere on the first floor, expecting her to slip away.
She heard muttering before the outside door slammed shut. She hurried through the tunnel until she reached the abandoned monks’ dormitory. She entered the cell to torch light illuminating the area. Keith opened his arms to her, and she flew into them. Their mouths crashed together, and he lifted her off her feet. Once more, she wore pants, having abandoned the gown she wore to dinner. She’d appeared at the evening meal, hoping to appease Will and Oliver. She endured Oliver’s alternating glares and patronizing smiles. Now she was where she belonged.
Keith wrapped Lydia’s legs around his waist and walked them to the wall. He pressed her against it and devoured her. His hands gripped her bottom as his tongue thrust into her mouth, mimicking what he wished to do with his cock. She ground her mons against his length, her fingers fisting his hair as she tried to gain more friction.
“I missed you, sweetling,” Keith said when they came up for air. He kissed her neck and collarbone. “However, I haven’t missed being down here.”
He didn’t release her as he walked to the door. He carried her as she clung to him. She only let go once they entered his library. He locked the door and laid her on the settee where’d they’d trysted the last time she was there.
“I missed you, too.” Lydia giggled and shook her head. “I cannot imagine calling you Bunbury or boop. They’re such ridiculous sounding words for a man. I would call you darling if you like.”
“I’d more than like that, Lydia. I hope to hear that until I can hear no more.”
“I’d like to call you that until I can speak no more.”
Keith eased back, propping himself on one forearm and against the back of the settee. He wrapped his hand around hers, just as he had earlier in the day, but he brought them to rest against his heart. “I’ve assumed a lot today, Lyddie. I was as bad as my cousin and your father to presume I could speak for you. What do you want?”
“You.”
It was the same unequivocable answer she’d given the last time he’d asked. She’d held no doubts about her wishes while he was gone, but she hadn’t been able to combat all the doubts that taunted her. His abrupt arrival and unmistakable intentions when he spoke to Oliver and Will reassured her she’d made the right choice. When he’d caught her in her pretend stupor and carried her with such gentleness, she’d known his feelings were genuine. The way he’d kissed her hand and her forehead had been too reverent for a man pretending at affection.
“You know I want the same, Lydia. Being away from you was hell. I missed your smile and your laughter, which I haven’t heard nearly enough of. I wondered what books you’d read, and I longed to talk to you about them. I pictured you on the beach and wished I was beside you, perhaps reading aloud to you or enjoying companiable silence with my own book. I worried about you walking alone, but I never worried someone might be here courting you. My only fear was I would return, and you would regret what we’d done.”
Lydia reached up and cupped his cheek. “It might surprise you to know what I’ve learned about you in the time since you returned and became duke. I know you’re the patron of the almshouse and the orphanage. That was not part of your family’s legacy. You did that on your own. I’m certain you’ve more than tithed, and you’re why the rectory has a new roof. I’ve watched you carry things for the elderly when you could have easily walked past.”
“You’ve seen that?”
Lydia nodded. “I may not have seen you aboard your ship, but I assume you love being on the water. I have seen you riding that great beast of yours. You’re gentle and patient with him, and in turn, it’s obvious he’s devoted to you. I’ve known for years your father ignored your tenants and the repairs their homes needed. I’d long suspected he spent the money on his mistresses instead of this estate. You have brought it back from the brink. Since you returned, I’ve heard of your reputation, and it fazes me not a bit. I’d rather you killed than be killed.”
“Time didn’t prepare me for the gangly child I’d known as my sister’s best friend to be a stunning woman when I returned for her funeral.” He stopped when Lydia’s mouth dropped open. He seized the opportunity, nipping at her bottom lip before kissing her. “I hid in the trees and watched. I didn’t want to distract from her funeral, so I stayed back. I heard you in the library that day, Lyddie. I wanted to know what you meant, but you were gone before I could ask. I sailed away that afternoon, but you were never far from my thoughts. It was always you I wanted.”
Keith paused to watch her reaction to knowing he’d spied on her. She didn’t bat an eyelash.
“When I returned, I watched you. I couldn’t help it. I knew you sneaked in here, but other than that first time, I never caught you. But I could smell your fragrance. I would follow it until I could guess what books you’d taken or returned. I saw you with the village children, how you laughed and sang to them. You play games with them on Sundays while their parents socialize. I’m not the only one generous with my money. I know you must give away much of your pin money. I’ve seen the pride on your parents’ faces when you do. I may not have talked to you, but I feel like I know you well.”
“I feel the same,” smiled Lydia. “Being with you feels natural, like it’s always been meant to be. In India, people believe we each have a purpose in life and a destiny. What we do, and how we act, determines what happens to us in the afterlife. I thought my purpose was solely to make up for not doing enough for Kelsey while she was alive. Now I think my purpose is more than just that.”
“Do you think it might be as my wife?”
“I hope so, Keith. That’s what I want.”
“I want you by my side, Lydia. You’re intelligent and well read. You’re practical and kind. There have been many times since I returned when I’ve wondered what advice you would give me about the estate. I suspect your parents trained you well to run a household and beyond.”
“They have. My father insisted my sister and I learn all that we could. He feared what might happen if our husband became incapacitated or turned out to be a ne'er-do-well. I always worried no man would appreciate my opinions.”
“I want them. I think, at times, I need them.” Keith kissed the tip of her nose. There was one thing he wanted to know, and he wouldn’t let her evade it any longer. “You’ve mentioned it before. What do you mean you didn’t do enough for Kelsey? You once said you would get justice for her. Then, years later, you said you’d missed your opportunity.”
Lydia shrank back against the pillow beneath her head. She closed her eyes, pain slashing through her as she thought about what Kelsey endured. She’d been of two minds about whether she should tell Keith what she learned from her friend’s diary. She knew if she divulged everything, it would hurt him. She considered what to say before she began.
“Your father lied about your mother, Keith.” Lydia winced as he jerked away, then sat up. She followed him, curling her legs beside her as she twisted to look at him. “She wasn’t unwell. She’d threatened to leave with you and Kelsey because she couldn't tolerate the way he abused you. They argued several times. He knew he couldn’t kill her because it would mean Kelsey inherited what your grandfather had set aside for any daughters in your parents’ marriage contract. It would have entitled him to manage the money, but a groom would expect there to be a dowry. With your mother alive, he could do as he pleased with the money, and he assumed no one would be the wiser. When it was time for Kelsey to marry, he would claim your mother left nothing for her. Since she had to live, he committed her to Bedlam for being uncooperative.”
Keith leaped from the settee and fisted his hands as he paced before the fireplace. His father committed his mother nearly twenty years earlier, swearing she was a danger to herself and her children. He’d forbidden Keith and Kelsey from having any contact with her. They certainly could not visit, and he knew his father burned the missives he tried to send. Kelsey was too young to even remember their mother.
“How did Kelsey know this?” Keith spun toward Lydia.
“She found your mother’s diaries when we were fifteen. They were in a trunk in the attic. She showed them to me. You weren’t the only one your father abused. Your mother poured all her thoughts and misery into those pages. There were vivid descriptions of what he did to her in and out of their bedchamber.”
“Did he do that to Kelsey? Did he—” Keith couldn’t finish the thought. He feared he would vomit if Lydia answered in the affirmative.
“No. He didn’t molest her, but he abused her. I heard the things he said the first few years after you left. I didn’t understand all of it, and Kelsey swore me to secrecy. I told her my father could protect her, but she insisted a baronet was no match for a duke. She feared your father would kill my whole family and me. Those were childhood fears, but he confirmed them by what we read in your mother’s diaries.” Lydia rose and came to stand before Keith. She didn’t touch him, uncertain what he wanted. But she continued to tell what she dared. “He was livid when she refused Windsor-Clive. The night he requested her hand, Kelsey refused. She answered for her father. He struck her, and I saw it. I didn’t fear your father once I grew old enough to understand his nature. He might have thought me little more than a savage, but the rest of the ton knows my lineage. I threatened to tell everyone what I saw. He let me take her away, but he exacted his revenge that night. He beat her so badly she couldn’t have any visitors for a week. He claimed she had the ague, but we were already adept at sneaking in and out of anywhere we went. I saw her in your family’s Mayfair townhouse each night.”
Lydia closed her eyes as memories danced before her eyes. Her head fell forward as she fought the threatening tears. She didn’t want to become a watering pot. She wanted to finish what she had to say while she could.
“Once back here, he began beating her for no reason other than he enjoyed it. After that first time in London, he made sure he never left a mark people could see while she was dressed. But I saw it. She showed me.” Lydia drew in a whistling breath. “It was worse than I knew, Keith. There were things she never told me. He tortured her. I learned about it from her diary.”
“What do you mean?” His voice cracked as he asked a question to which he only partly wanted to know the answer.
“He would deprive her of food, have her locked in the cellar for hours, he would make her crawl before the servants, and he tied her to her bed at night.” Lydia stopped there. The rest she couldn’t bring herself to admit. She hadn’t lied when she told Keith the old duke never molested his daughter. But he’d allowed other things to happen Lydia wasn’t convinced Keith should ever know. Things she only learned when she read the diary.
“I would kill him if he weren’t already dead. It’s my fault she suffered for even a moment.”
Lydia couldn’t deny what he said, and she wouldn’t give him false platitudes. Kelsey’s treatment likely wouldn’t have been so severe if Keith hadn’t left her alone with their father. All she could offer was a slight reassurance from his total culpability.
“He would have done many of those things regardless of whether you were here. He’d begun while you were on your Grand Tour before you’d decided to leave.”
Keith shook his head. “No. I insisted upon the tour because I already knew I wanted to leave. I used that time to arrange for my commission. I knew I couldn’t do it with him watching me. I did this to her.”
“You did not do it to her.” Lydia’s voice was adamant. “There is a difference between you not staying here or coming back and the things he did. You never could have totally protected her, not even if you were here.”
“What does that mean?” Keith sensed there was far more Lydia kept from him. “Do not hold secrets from me, Lydia. I never want to doubt I can trust you. I know there’s more.”
Lydia squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head. “I can’t. I don’t want to deceive you or hide things from you, but I swore to Kelsey I would never tell. I can’t renege on that. There are things she didn’t want you to know, Keith. Please don’t ask me to betray her. Please don’t think I’m betraying you.”
“She won’t know if?—”
They turned toward the fire as a log burst into sparks and hissed. The flames leaped high into the flume. Embers flew onto the carpet and took hold. Keith pushed Lydia away from where the fire continued to roar with a ferocity that appeared menacing. He stomped on the carpet, putting out each potential fire.
Lydia backed away as the flames licked the side of the fireplaces, threatening to set the surrounding wood ablaze. She looked around, terrified. She’d never seen a fire behave in such a way, as though it possessed its own mind and anger.
“Kelsey?” Lydia whispered. Another log popped, as though it answered Lydia. Her voice grew stronger and clearer over the crackling blaze. “Kels, I’m sorry. I won’t tell.”
Immediately, the fire settled. It was as though nothing had stoked it only moments ago. Lydia looked around, trying to determine if a draft somehow fed the flames. But the air was completely still. Keith walked to her and engulfed her in his embrace. She trembled as she continued to watch the fire. She accepted his reassurance they were fine, but she couldn’t remain in his arms yet. She pushed away.
“Kelsey, what do you want me to do? I won’t tell, but neither can I live with this forever and keep it from my husband. Are you angry your brother and I wish to marry?”
“Lydia?” Keith didn’t know what to make of her talking to his dead sister or what happened with the fire. Was it possible Kelsey was still among them? He was about to deny his sister’s ghost lingered in the library, but a scratching at the door distracted him. He and Lydia turned toward it before Lydia hurried to open the portal to the interior hallway. She looked down and blinked several times. A cat nuzzled her legs and walked between them. She scooped him up.
“Marauder, what are you doing here?”
“You named the cat Marauder?” Keith was incredulous as he came to stand beside Lydia.
“The cat’s fur is so blond it’s nearly white, and he was a mouser since practically the day he was born. Kelsey gave him to me, but we both knew he was always meant to be a stable cat. I teased that he reminded me of your reputation. She suggested I name him Keith, but I said that was ridiculous. I settled for your moniker.”
“Why’s he here?”
Lydia was about to respond that she had no idea, but suddenly she knew. She walked back to the fire, which now was a cheery source of heat, not fear. “You gave him to me and told me to name him after your brother. You tried to give me Keith. Now Marauder shows up where he’s never been before. Are you telling me you’re all right with us being together?”
The cat meowed loudly before yawning. He settled against Lydia’s chest and sighed. She scratched his head as she looked back at Keith. She’d spent years feeling as though Kelsey was still her constant companion, but this was the first time she’d feared her friend’s spirit or been thoroughly convinced it even existed. She was certain it was no longer the product of her imagination.
“I think she’s giving her consent to that. But if she agrees we should marry, then she must know you should tell me everything.” Keith couldn’t believe he spoke about his sister as though she were still alive. At his assertion, the flames once more grew. The blue nearest the heart of the fire glowed brilliantly.
“I won’t tell, Kels.” Lydia reached out and gripped Keith’s shirt. As soon as she finished speaking, the fire settled again. She looked up at Keith and shook her head. “Can you live with me not telling you everything?”
Keith kissed her, drawing her closer until Marauder complained and wiggled to get down, not appreciating being trapped between their bodies. Lydia wrapped her arms around his waist. “I can live with it, Lyddie. I can’t live without you.”
Lydia rested her cheek against his chest, listening to his heart. The tension eased from her body the longer Keith held her. Much still unsettled her about what just happened, and she felt unresolved about keeping Kelsey’s secrets. She feared as much as she wanted to, circumstances would force her to tell Keith. She would do her best to delay, but she was no longer as confident as she’d once been.
“We need to be caught together. If it appears like your compromised me, then there will be no choice but for us to marry.” Lydia leaned back far enough to look up at Keith. “There’s an assembly tomorrow night. People must find us together. And it can’t be something simply explained away as though we happened to be in the same place or that we were merely talking.”
“If you mean I need to ravage you, then I’ll happily oblige.” Keith grinned for the first time in what felt like a lifetime. He waggled his brow and winked.
“Perhaps you could save ravaging me to the privacy of our chamber, but—” Lydia’s face flushed as she snapped her mouth shut. “That was presumptuous of me. I’m sorry.”
“What was? That we would share a chamber? Lydia, from the day we wed until the day one of us dies, I will have no chamber but the one I share with you. I do not want you sleeping apart from me. I will not visit you as though we’re practically strangers. You will not be a guest in a chamber within your own home.”
“I suppose the lord’s bed is large enough for two.”
“It is, but I intend to find the smallest one I can. Then you shall have no choice but to lie next to me. There won’t be room for you to get away.” Keith’s hands slipped down to her backside as she went up on her toes. Their kisses grew wild as their hands roamed. Keith unfastened the first three buttons on Lydia’s tunic and pushed it over her shoulders. But a log shifted and caught their attention. It was clear it moved because most of it had burned away. However, it was a reminder they’d encountered Kelsey’s spirit not even a quarter of an hour ago. It dampened their ardor as they looked around, searching for anyone who might spy them.
“You should return before anyone realizes you’re gone.”
Lydia nodded but couldn’t meet his eye. When he squeezed her waist, prompting her, she admitted, “I think Oliver followed me to the crypt. He couldn’t find where I went, so he gave up.”
“He’s likely waiting for you then, expecting you to return home before daylight.”
“You could truly compromise me, and I could stay here. Let the servants find us together in our bed.”
“Your father would put a bullet between my eyes before we made it to the altar.” Keith didn’t exaggerate, and Lydia knew it. “Tomorrow night will be soon enough. I’ll walk you back. We take the tunnel to the trees and sneak you back from there.”
Lydia agreed, and soon she led the way with a torch raised to illuminate their path. Keith saw her to the kitchen’s door and waited. She’d agreed to wave from her window before he would leave. He breathed easier, seeing her smile from above. He was almost to his own door when Oliver appeared. Keith sighed, knowing nothing good would come of this conversation. He wanted it over with so he could retire. The events in the library exhausted him, and he wanted to sort through how he felt about the idea that Kelsey’s ghost inhabited the abbey. He wondered what other spirits might lurk there.
“What do you want?”
“Leave her alone, Cousin.” Oliver cocked a pistol and raised his arm.
“What will you do, Ollie?” Keith knew he despised the diminutive. He’d used it as a child to goad Oliver when he was fed up with his cousin and wished for him to get in enough trouble with his own father it would force him to leave Keith alone. “Will you shoot a duke on his own land? You aren’t high enough in line to inherit. Do you think anyone will believe I’ve just gone missing when my ship is in the bay and my horse is in the stables? Hell, even if you stole my horse, he’s too recognizable to pass for yours. Go back to bed.”
Keith stood in the shadows, so he had darkness on his side. He withdrew his gun from the small of his back and the knife he kept at his hip. When he had both weapons at the ready, he stepped into the moonlight, cocking, and raising the pistol. He raised his other hand, and the moon reflected off the blade.
“Only one of us has experience killing and disposing of bodies, Ollie. And we know it isn’t you, so go back to bed.” Keith took another step forward, his longer arm practically pushing the barrel into Oliver’s chest.
“You always had to have everything,” Oliver whined.
“A bastard father, a haunted old heap of bricks, being up to my ears in hock. Oh yes, do tell me how I have everything. She isn’t a toy we’re squabbling over. You are the one who will stay away.” Keith pulled the pistol back, giving Oliver space to turn around. The man glared at Keith for a protracted moment before he huffed and left. Keith watched him walk away. When his cousin was nearly out of sight, he followed. He wasn’t at ease leaving Lydia in the house with Oliver.
He crept into the kitchen behind Oliver, waiting until he was certain his cousin would have crossed the enormous expanse. He hurried inside and climbed the servants’ stairs while Oliver took the main ones. Keith watched him pause at Lydia’s door before going to his own. Keith slid to the floor and spent the night tucked into the corner, watching the corridor. He sneaked out when he heard the first servants mustering at dawn.