Chapter 1 #2
“Meredith, be reasonable. You are a very pretty girl with no name and no money. How else do you expect to survive? You will only be used by men, it is your fate. At least I am honest about my intentions. I am offering you a way to stay in your home, to keep your belongings and your life here. All you must do is welcome me into your bed.”
Meredith jerked her arm free. “I will not be used by you or anyone,” she warned. “Now get out of my way or I shall scream.” The footmen of the house would come to her defense, even if they might suffer consequences for it. Harry was not exactly a favorite among them.
Harry seemed to weigh his choices before he stepped away from the door. But as Meredith rushed past, he snatched her arm again, even harder than before.
“When he dies, you will be mine,” he hissed in her ear. “No other man will take you in without a payment of some kind. Think on that.” And with that, he released her.
Meredith fled back to Uncle Ben’s room. Mrs. Todd took one look at her and hastily got up from the chair to close the bedroom door so they could speak alone.
“What happened?” she asked in a whisper. “Your face is red, child.”
“Harry. He…” Meredith’s voice had become shaky, and she felt sick to her stomach.
Mrs. Todd’s tone grew sharp. “He hurt you?”
“Only my arm.” Meredith winced as she held out her wrist, which was already bruising.
“Tell me everything he said and did,” the housekeeper insisted.
Meredith explained about the letter in the study and Uncle Ben’s wish to send her to London to Darius, who would take her in. And then she explained how Harry had found her leaving Ben’s study.
“We must pack your things at once. I won’t have you hurt on my watch, child.”
“But I cannot leave Uncle Ben —”
“You won’t. But I want you ready to depart the second he passes.” Mrs. Todd said. “I shall see to everything.”
Meredith nodded and sank warily back in her chair at uncle Ben’s bedside. She yawned and laid her head down on her bended arms just to rest for a few moments.
“Wake up. Wake up, child.” Mrs. Todd’s voice pulled Meredith from the depths of dream. The room was dark except for a single lit candle. Uncle Ben lay still in bed.
She reached for her uncle’s hand, which was now still and cold within her own. No… he’d passed away while she’d been asleep.
“He’s gone, child. Slipped away a short while ago. You were so tired, I didn’t have the heart to wake you. But he knew you were here with him. That’s what matters.”
Meredith stared at Uncle Ben’s face in the candlelight. His features had relaxed and his eyes were closed. The pain that he ravaged his face for weeks was gone at last.
“Did he…suffer?” she asked.
The housekeeper wiped a tear away. “No child. He was looking at you while you slept. Then he smiled, and then after one last breath he was simply…gone.”
Meredith covered her mouth with the back of her hand to stifle a sob. She leapt out of the chair. The housekeeper pulled her into an embrace, gently rubbing her back.
“There, there, my dear. It’s all right. It’s all right.”
But it wasn’t all right. It would never be all right again. The pain in her chest was unbearable. She wanted to scream, to break a vase or, anything to escape the raw inferno of agony that was destroying her heart.
“Breathe, love. Breathe,” Mrs. Todd urged. She placed a hand on Meredith’s cheek. “You’ll survive this, my dear.”
Meredith managed a nod, but she didn’t agree. She was dying inside.
“Say your goodbyes to him, and then we must get you out of this house.”
Meredith had almost forgotten Harry’s threat. There was no time to waste. She bent and pressed a trembling kiss to her uncle’s forehead. Her tears fell upon his waistcoat as she straightened and frantically wiped at her eyes.
“I have you packed, Miss Meredith. Joseph has the coach waiting. He will take you to the stagecoach down the road. I have secured your passage all the way to London. If you need to rest, you can stay in a coaching inn along the way, and the passage will still be good the next day.”
“I have a bit of money …” Meredith began. She’d been saving her pin money.
“I found it and tucked it into your reticule which is with your valise. Be quick now. Master Henry is still asleep. I want you long gone before he wakes. There’s no telling what kind of ideas will get into his head.”
They hastened downstairs. The house was still quiet and dark. It was a few hours until dawn. Not even the servants were up and about yet, except for the groom, Joseph, who waited for her outside by Uncle Ben’s coach.
Meredith hugged Mrs. Todd. “Thank you.”
“Write to me when you reach London now, or else I’ll worry.” The older woman gave Meredith one last hug. Then Joseph helped Meredith into the coach and they were off.
Half an hour later, Meredith was inside the crowded stagecoach that would take her to London.
She clutched her reticule tight and gazed out the window at the approaching dawn.
The farther she got away from the place which had been her home, the more she was both forlorn and relieved.
She’d left behind her only friends and Uncle Ben, but at the same time she had escaped Harry.
She replayed that moment in the study over and over, trying to understand what had made Harry think he could treat her like that.
Harry had never tried to hurt her before.
He spent very little time at Burton House.
He was ten years her senior and often carousing in London, according to Uncle Ben, but when he came home to visit, he had always been polite.
He had never tried to do what he had just done.
Not that Meredith had ever trusted him. Mrs. Todd had instructed Meredith to be wary of men she did not know well and included her warnings by saying that even Master Harry was not always a gentleman.
Mrs. Todd clearly had known something Meredith hadn’t about Harry.
When the coach stopped to change horses, Meredith stretched her legs and asked the driver how much longer it would take to reach London.
“From here? Five days, miss,” the man replied as the grooms checked the harnesses of the new team of horses that were set to replace the old team.
Five days from Yorkshire to London… It already felt like a thousand years.
* * *
By the fourth night, Meredith decided to use the last of her money to pay for a proper bed at a coaching inn. She had not changed clothes or bathed since she’d started, and she smelled of horses, sweat, and the stable yard.
After she was assured that her passage to London would be valid the following morning, she went inside the inn and spoke to the innkeeper. There were a few spare rooms left, and she paid for a dinner and a breakfast.
“If you want to make the morning stagecoach, I’ll have a maid rouse you,” the innkeeper said.
“Thank you ever so much,” Meredith replied. “Could you send dinner up to my room? I am quite tired and afraid I shall fall asleep.”
The innkeeper seemed to take pity on her. “Of course, lass. Go on up.”
She took the key the man gave her and climbed the creaky stairs to the rooms above the taproom.
Her room was only two doors down. Her limbs had grown heavy, as though weighed down by stones.
She had barely slept in the last four days.
She had to keep an eye on her travel case every time they stopped to make sure no one stole it, and couldn’t risk missing getting back on the coach whenever she needed to relieve herself.
She opened the door to her room and dropped her case on the floor. With a few dragging steps, she collapsed face down on the bed’s feather tick mattress with a groan. She wasn’t sure how long she lay there before a noise behind her forced her to roll over.
A maid, no older than her, balancing a tray on one hip, was trying to close the door behind her as she entered the room.
“Sorry miss, for waking you, I mean. I have your supper.” The maid closed the door and set the tray down on the table by the bed.
“Thank you,” Meredith said as she climbed out of bed. “Does it cost extra to have a small bathing tub brought up?”
“Only if we’re full it would, but we aren’t full tonight. I’ll see if the lads can run up a tub with some water,” the maid replied.
“Thank you. I haven’t bathed in four days,” Meredith confessed.
The maid gave her a sympathetic look. “Eat up, and I shall send the lads up soon.”
Despite her weariness, Meredith devoured the stew and mopped up the remnants of the soup with a thick chunk of bread she’d been given. She wrapped the extra wedge of cheese in a handkerchief for tomorrow’s journey.
Shortly after dinner, two young men carried in a copper tub and filled it with hot water that was still steaming before they left Meredith alone.
The tub was not large. All she could do was remove her clothes and stand inside of it.
Shivering as the water cooled on her skin, she used a cloth to wipe herself clean of the dust and sweat of the last four days.
Dark bruises marred her arm where Harry had manhandled her.
The spots were tender to the touch, but she felt a little more like herself now.
Once finished, she put on a clean chemise and crawled into bed.
Sleep came instantly, but not without dreams.
“Please, Merry, be a good girl and stay quiet.” Meredith’s mother whispered.
She led Meredith up the stairs to the beautiful stone manor house.
Her mother’s face, finally free of tears, was still splotchy as she knocked upon the door.
It was close to nightfall. Meredith didn’t like the dark.
The dark held dangers that every five year old instinctively feared and she pressed herself tight against her mother’s leg, fisting her hands in her skirts.
The door opened and an elderly man stared at them.
“May help you, madame?”
“Please. I need to speak with Mr. St. John,” her mother said. “Tell him it is Miss Mariah Montague.”
The man nodded. “Step into the foyer and I will speak to the master.”
Meredith clutched her mother’s hand as they entered the foyer. Candlelight illuminated the tapestries, and she saw a marble bust of a beautiful woman that looked a little like her mother decorating the space beneath the staircase.
“Remember, you must be quiet.”
Meredith nodded. She was always quiet. Papa didn’t like it when she made noise. He didn’t like to be reminded she existed. But that papa had left her and mama.
The elderly man returned. Behind him was another man, younger, closer in age to her mother. He strode toward her mother, and the elderly man quietly left them to speak alone.
“Mariah? Is it truly you?”
“Yes, Benjamin,” her mother whispered. “I know it’s been quite a long time…”
The man reached up to caress her mother’s cheek. “Are you well? I—”The man’s gaze dropped when he saw Meredith. “And who is this?” his tone was still gentle, still full of concern but as Meredith looked up into his eyes, she wasn’t afraid.
Her mother gently pulled Meredith to stand in front of her. “This is my daughter. Meredith.”
The man glanced between her and her mother before he knelt down in front of her. “Hello Meredith. I am Benjamin, but you may call me Uncle Ben, all right?” He then offered her a warm smile. “Are you hungry?”
Meredith glanced at her mother, who shook her head so Meredith mimicked her.
“Nonsense, you both looked tired and hungry. Come into the drawing room. We’ll have some tea and something to eat. Then you will tell me what’s happened.”
Meredith nestled on a settee beside her mother before a warm fire and dozed off soon after she’d eaten. The man’s voice was oddly soothing. Her papa’s voice had always been distressing to her, but Uncle Ben? He felt safe.
“So it settled, Mariah. You will have a little cottage by the sea. I will see to everything. And you must bring the child to visit me. This house is too quiet since Harry moved to London.”
“You don’t mind that she is…?” She did not finish her question.
“Mariah, she is yours. That means she will always be welcome in my home.”
“Benjamin, I can never thank you enough for saving me … for saving her.”
Meredith woke, feeling tears in her eyes. She’d been so young when she’d first come into Benjamin St. John’s life, but he had been her hero, a father to her more than anyone connected to her by blood.
Now he was gone. That loss sank in deep for the first time in the last four days and she wept, wept for the loss of someone who’d become her world.
So much had happened so quickly. Ben’s illness, his death, and her flight from the house. She could still feel Harry’s hands on her arms, squeezing tight. There was no possibility of staying, not when Harry would demand she become his mistress.
What upset her more was how foolish she’d been to think that Uncle Ben would live forever, and she would always have a safe place with him.
She’d given no thought to a life beyond that world.
Now she was headed back to London to face a new life, a very new and very terrifying world, and living with a man she’d never met.
Her thoughts drifted to Darius, Uncle Ben’s nephew…the Duke of Tiverton. As she understood it, he and Uncle Ben had argued shortly after Darius’s father had passed away. The fight had upset Ben, but his pride kept him from reaching out to his nephew.
Please let him be kind. Meredith’s only hope was that he could do as her uncle wished and find her a good man to marry. She must be content with that if she could find no other fate of her own making. But a woman born out of wedlock with no real family to her name held few prospects.
I must be content. I must. Whatever comes.