Chapter 4
It was a little past midday when Meredith woke with a groan as she realized she had slept in.
But her bed was so soft and warm, and she felt truly at peace for the first time since Uncle Ben had fallen ill.
She rubbed her eyes and stared up at a ceiling painted to look like a windswept clouds.
A solemn string of thoughts paraded through her mind as she simply lay there, the birds singing outside her window.
For the last two months of Uncle Ben’s illness, she had worked tirelessly to care for him. She had gotten a stiff neck and aching back after a month of sleeping in a chair at his bedside each night and waking at the slightest sound he made.
Now Uncle Ben was gone forever. There would be no more quiet mornings reading the paper over breakfast, no ride through the fields or shared readings from novels by the fire. She was in a strange city, under a strange roof, in a strange bed. The life she’d come to love at Burton House was over.
A deep well of grief filled her chest. She hadn’t known sorrow could carry such a terrible weight.
When her mother had died, Meredith had grieved, but she hadn’t mourned her passing like Uncle Ben’s.
Perhaps it was because she’d always believed her mother blamed her for so much that had gone wrong in her life.
She’d never said so openly, but a kept woman was easier to see to than a kept woman and a bastard child. Meredith had loved her mother, but the day Meredith had moved in with Uncle Ben it felt like she finally been allowed to breathe, to exist without apology.
And now she was a burden again. What role would she play in Darius’s household? Would she be afraid to take up space, or would the darkly handsome Duke of Tiverton let her share his world and experience a different life, one that held perhaps just a bit of adventure?
Oh Lord… Darius…
She’d had the most wicked dream about him last night. He had been carrying her in his arms like some dashing knight, and she’d pulled his head down to kiss her. She’d been bold, eager, and he responded in kind, showing her that kisses were just what she hoped they would be. What a wonderful dream.
But it was only a dream, and thank goodness for that. If her new guardian knew she had fantasies about him, he might throw her out of his house…
Or, a little voice whispered wickedly, he might seduce her.
She was innocent in the ways of men, but she had seen the way he looked at her last evening.
He’d desired her, or at the least, she’d inspired some passion within him.
She’d never wanted to inspire that in a man like Harry, yet it was different with Darius because she desired him as well.
What would it be like to be the object of Darius’s desires?
To taste the magic of love and passion with him?
But as quickly as the thought was born it was snuffed out.
Darius couldn’t marry a woman like her. It would be beyond scandalous.
She would ruin his family’s name and destroy every connection in society he possessed if he married her.
A duke could not marry an illegitimately born woman with no family.
But she had to acknowledge in her heart of hearts, she would have loved to have been courted by him…to be loved by him and love him in return.
But it was a fantasy, a fool’s dream, and she was not raised to be a fool.
Meredith pushed the covers of her bed back and slipped off the fourposter bed. She pushed the tall sash window up so the fresh air could pass through the room, then pulled up a chair to sit next to it and take in the scent of the blooming flowers below.
Her window overlooked Darius’s back gardens, and she had a good view of the townhouse directly behind Darius’s.
She retrieved the pair of opera glasses Suzannah had given her the previous evening, undeniably curious about the lives of those that lived in those other grand houses.
Their closest neighbors in Yorkshire had been over a mile away.
She lifted up the glasses and studied the house beyond Darius’s, glimpsing a bedchamber that was visible through a pair of large bay windows.
A woman sat up in the bed, speaking to someone she could not see.
A moment later, a man of middling years came into view.
She couldn’t hear what the woman said to the man, but it seemed to infuriate him.
He snarled something back at the woman and she gave a weak, coughing laugh in response as she slipped out of bed and sat down in a wheelchair and after a moment of adjusting her dressing robe, the woman rolled out of sight.
The man vanished from view. The echo of a slamming door reached across Darius’s back garden.
“Oh dear…” It seemed Darius’s neighbors were quarreling. But how could anyone be unhappy while living in such a beautiful part of the city?
A polite cough disturbed her secret observations of the neighbors. Her heart stopped as she feared it might be Darius.
“Miss?”
Meredith turned around and breathed a sigh of relief. She’d been afraid for a moment that Darius had caught her spying on the neighbors but it was Nell.
“Oh, hello Nell.” She greeted the maid with a smile.
“Are you ready to dress, miss? The footmen are laying out luncheon in the dining room, if you wish to join His Grace and Lady Kentwell.”
“Lunch already,” Meredith said to herself, then realized what else Nell had said. “Lady Kentwell is here?”
“Yes. She arrived for breakfast and has been here ever since.”
Meredith rushed to remove her nightgown, then froze. She didn’t remember going to bed last evening after the play. She only recalled part of the coach ride home with Darius.
“Oh heavens. Nell, did I change into my nightgown last night?”
“I changed you, miss. You fell asleep in the coach and His Grace carried you up to bed.”
Meredith’s hands, which had been jerking at the laces of the nightgown at her throat, halted in place. Memories from her delicious dream replayed in her mind.
She had been dreaming, hadn’t she? She couldn’t have kissed Darius. Surely not.
“You were fair worn out,” Nell continued, “and he didn’t have the heart to wake you.” She pulled out one of Meredith’s white muslin gowns from the armoire before she laid out a clean chemise, stays and stockings on the bed.
After dressing her, Nell combed Meredith’s hair out, gently styling it in a loose knot.
“Do you know why Lady Kentwell is here? Did her husband come with her?”
“It is just Lady Kentwell. She and His Grace have been discussing candidates for a companion for you.”
“Oh, yes. Of course.” Meredith had almost forgotten that discussion last night. She stepped into her slippers and Nell wrapped the ribbons around her ankles, tying them in place.
“Thank you ever so much, Nell.”
Meredith hastened out of her chamber and followed the scent of food to the dining room.
She hadn’t had any opportunity for a tour of the house last evening when she’d arrived, but perhaps later today she could ask Nell to show her where all of the rooms were.
The thought of asking Darius felt too…intimate right now.
A footman opened the door to the dining room for her.
She stepped into a room with white paneling and yellow and green flower wallpaper that was wonderfully cheerful and warm.
It instantly made her feel at home. Large, lush paintings of gardens covered most of the walls.
The table could easily seat twenty people, but at the moment was only occupied at the far end.
Darius sat at a chair at the end and Lady Kentwell was perched on the seat directly to his right. Dozens of sheets of paper were spread out before them, and they spoke quietly as they examined them.
As they hadn’t noticed her yet, and she hadn’t eaten, Meredith turned her attention to the food.
Her stomach grumbled at that moment, but thankfully Darius didn’t hear.
The food was set in chafing dishes on a walnut sideboard along one side of the room.
Darius noticed her entrance into the room and immediately stood up.
“Ahh Meredith. I trust you slept well? I instructed Nell not to wake you. You’ve had a long journey.”
“Yes, thank you. I slept very well,” Meredith was touched by Darius’s thoughtfulness.
Her gaze dropped to his mouth, and she remembered how boldly she’d grabbed him and pulled him down to kiss her.
Assuming that had happened. Lord…she prayed that was a dream.
If she’d really done that, she would expire right there.
Suzannah patted the chair beside her. “Please get something to eat and come sit with us. We would like your opinion on some candidates.”
Meredith was famished, and hastily filled the plate with slices of beef, potatoes and then added some plums and a single current tart.
Darius pulled out a chair for her. As she sat down and he pushed her in toward the table, his fingertips brushed her shoulders.
Heat blossomed inside her in the wake of his innocent caress.
All he’d done was help her sit and yet she was on fire with the thought of what it might feel like to have his hands on other places of her body. Forbidden places.
Was she no better than her mother? Shame washed away all desire from her for the moment. Her mother had been swept away by passion and she knew that it had ruined her future.
“We have narrowed down the potential candidates to three.” Suzannah placed three advertisements in front of Meredith. She welcomed the distraction from her disquieting thoughts.
“We have ruled out anyone too young or old. I believe you need a middle aged woman of decent status, preferably widowed.” Suzannah rested her chin in her hand as she waited for Meredith to look over the selections.
Meredith pointed to the last one.