Chapter 6 #2
Kit’s lips parted, but he had no rebuttal. Warren saw the exact second his friend realized his wife was right.
“When are they interviewing a chaperone?” Kit asked her.
“Soon.”
“They’d better make it tomorrow,” Kit muttered.
The others laughed. Suzannah was right. The temptation of something forbidden, especially one as sweet-natured as Meredith, could be too much for even the saintly Duke of Tiverton.
Warren, for one, was happy to see the oh so perfect Darius finally falling in love.
* * *
Meredith sighed in relief as she slipped her feet into a pair of cozy mule slippers lined with fur. After dancing the entire night, she was exhausted, and her feet were surprisingly sore from her succession of vigorous dances.
“I brought some warm milk and biscuits,” Nell said as she put down a tray on the little table by Meredith’s bed. “I hope it helps you settle down after all the excitement.”
“Nell, you are an absolute angel.”
“You must tell me all about the ball tomorrow,” Nell bargained with a smile.
“Absolutely.”
The maid slipped out of the bedchamber, leaving Meredith to nibble on a biscuit and sip her milk before she took up a chair by the window facing the gardens.
It was a quiet night with a lovely cool breeze drifting through the open window, carrying the scents of flowers.
Meredith let out a sigh and allowed herself a moment to be.
She did not think of the ball or the dance with the Prince Regent, however.
Instead, her thoughts drifted to Uncle Ben, and how he’d been the one to teach her to enjoy a moment like this.
A soft glow of light in the distance caught Meredith’s attention. It was in the Crell house, beyond the garden wall. The light moved into the bedchamber that faced the back of Darius’s house. Meredith retrieved her opera glasses and lifted them up, spotting the lamp more clearly.
The person who carried it was Mr. Crell, the tall dark-haired man with silver at his temples. He moved past an empty bed that had been stripped of its sheets. Meredith frowned. Why had the bed been stripped? Where was his wife?
After meeting Mrs. Crell today, Meredith had asked her maid what she knew of the woman.
Nell had mentioned that morning that Mrs. Crell usually remained in bed or in a chair most of the time, but could walk on better days with the help of a cane.
The staff at Darius’s house rarely saw her outside except on nice days.
A sliver of unease pricked at Meredith and she shuddered. It wasn’t without an innocent explanation. He could have had his servants washing the linens, and he and his wife were sleeping in a different bedchamber. It was simply hard to believe that the task not been completed by the end of the day.
A hand clasped her shoulder, and Meredith shrieked, leaping to her feet.
“Hush!” The palm covered her mouth and she was pulled back against a hard body. “It’s only me.” Darius slowly lowered his hand from her mouth and released her.
Meredith whirled around. “Darius! You frightened me!” she whispered.
“I apologize. When I knocked, you didn’t answer.” His blue eyes glowed in the lamplight.
“Oh, I’m so sorry.” She glanced back out the window. “I was just…” Her voice trailed off.
Darius joined her. “What were you watching?”
“The Crell house. You have a decent view of some of their rooms, you know.” She handed him the opera glasses.
“Spying on the neighbors?” he asked with a laugh. “How scandalous.”
“I’m not spying, I’m just curious. I noticed tonight that the sheets have been stripped off the bed in the master bedchamber. I haven’t seen Mrs. Crell today either.”
A sudden terrible thought struck her, and she clutched Darius’s sleeve as he peered through the glasses at the other house.
“Darius… You don’t suppose…she’s passed away?”
“It is possible, she was very ill.”
“But she looked well enough when I met her today in the gardens.”
Darius’s gaze softened. “Death can steal upon even the most healthy-looking souls, Meredith. Would you like me for me to have Mr. Chelsea inquire about her health tomorrow?”
“Could you?” Meredith asked.
“I will speak to Chelsea about it tomorrow morning.”
Meredith turned her gaze back to the gardens when a new… and far more sinister thought crossed her mind.
“What is it? You’ve gone very pale suddenly.” Darius asked as he handed her back the opera glasses.
“That scream tonight… That perhaps…” Lord, she was being too melodramatic to even think it, let alone say it.
Darius’s gaze sharpened. “Perhaps what?”
“That something happened to Mrs. Crell? Nell mentioned that she was an invalid and rarely left her bed or her wheelchair. Now her chamber is empty, and I saw two people struggling in the mews, and I know that scream I heard was no horse. It sounded female.”
Please don’t think I’m mad.
“You think that something befell Mrs. Crell?”
“Yes,” Meredith replied, shivering.
Darius lifted the glasses up again and looked at the house.
“Given the argument we saw the other day, it’s fair to say that Crell and his wife do not have the most amiable of relationships. What you saw tonight does give me some doubts,” he said. “I shall make inquiries on the morrow. You should go to bed.”
Meredith shook her head. “I couldn’t possibly sleep,” she confessed. “This has all rather upset me.”
Darius set the opera glasses down on the chair next to the window. “Come with me. I’ll pour you some brandy. That will calm your nerves.”
Darius gently took her hand. A heat blossomed in the touch of their palms that made Meredith’s chest burst with a matching warmth.
He led her across the hall to his own chamber. It was inappropriate for her to be in his rooms alone with him, but no servants were awake now to see what she was doing.
He went to a drink cabinet and opened it, pulling out a pair of glasses. Then he found a decanter of brandy and poured them each a glass.
“Please sit and drink it.” He pointed to a pair of armchairs facing the fireplace which was lit.
The soft pop and crackle of the logs was soothing as Meredith eased into the nearest chair, cupping the brandy glass in her hands.
Darius sat down in the other chair across from her and they both drank in silence for several minutes.
Darius’s face grew solemn until he suddenly spoke.
“I wish I had been there… When Uncle Ben passed.”
“As do I,” she said. “Why did you fall out with him?” She instantly regretted asking such a private question. But to her surprise, he answered her.
“I was trying to warn him about Harry, that his son was not behaving well in London. Ben grew upset with me, telling me that I was being reckless with my own life, which he was not completely wrong about. We quarreled, and after that, we only exchanged the briefest of letters on occasion. I regret it deeply.” Darius’s gaze moved from the fire to her.
“He was the last of my family, and I wasn’t even there. I didn’t even know he was ill.”
“He didn’t want anyone to know, Darius,” Meredith said.
“He kept telling me and Mrs. Todd that it would be silly to write to anyone. He said would be well again before anyone could arrive.” She swallowed the lump in her throat.
“I so desperately wanted to believe that, it blinded me from the truth. It is my fault.”
Darius threw back the rest of his brandy and scowled at her. “Why? Why do you do that?” he asked gruffly.
“Do what?”
He set his empty brandy glass on the little table by his chair. “Take the blame upon yourself? You do it for almost everything.”
“What do you mean? I don’t—”
“You do, by God, you do.” He stared at her, those penetrating eyes peering deep into her soul. “Why do you believe you caused all these problems?”
“I—” Meredith’s throat tightened. She didn’t want to say it, didn’t want to hear what the voice inside her head said when she tried not to listen.
Darius pointed to the floor in front of him. “Come here.”
She obeyed, moving out of her chair and standing in front of him in nothing but her dressing gown and slippers.
He reached out, grasping her waist, and pulled her onto his lap so that she sat across his powerful thighs. She should have protested sitting so intimately on his lap, but she didn’t. It felt too easy, too natural for her to be right where she was.
“Now, tell me, why you punish yourself so?” he demanded in a quiet but forceful tone.
“Because…” Her voice faltered as her hands pressed against his chest. She could feel his heartbeat through the fabric of his shirt. She stared at his face, his lips, and her entire body seemed to melt again. His thighs tightened beneath her as he stared back at her.
They were so close now, so wonderfully close, and her words would ruin this moment. But he deserved to know the truth.
“Because it is my fault. If my mother never had a child, she and my father would’ve been happy.”
“Is that what your mother told you?” Darius asked, his voice soft his arms wrapped around her, almost cradling her. His body was so wonderfully warm, and his arms were firm and gentle. Safe, she was always safe with him. How could a man she barely know make her feel that way?
“No, but—”
“Did she ever imply that?”
“No, but—”
“You assumed,” he guessed. “Your father never would have left his wife. Men rarely do for their mistresses. The scandal of divorce is usually not worth it. What happened between your parents was never for one instant your fault.”
“But Uncle Ben—”
“You cannot possibly take his death on your shoulders, either.” Darius’s voice deepened, turned rougher.
“You are not a burden, Meredith. Not to Uncle Ben, not to me. If anyone ever makes you feel that way, remove them from your circle of acquaintances at once. The world will put every sin and fault upon your pretty shoulders if you let it, and you must resist. They are not your sins, not your faults, so cast them off.”
Meredith was spellbound by Darius’ words and the earnest gleam in his eyes. She wasn’t a burden? Her lip trembled at the thought, and she felt torn between kissing him and weeping.
“You must stop looking at me like that, like I’m some bloody hero because—” he bit off the rest of his words.
She curled her hands in his waistcoat, the silk smooth and rich beneath her fingers. It occurred to her then just how little fabric was between their bodies… “Because?”
Darius’s blue eyes darkened. “Because you make me want to be everything for you,” Darius murmured softly and leaned in, his lips touching hers. The kiss was almost chaste.
“You make me want to be everything for you.”
Darius’s words filled her head, making her dizzy with delight while his enchanting kiss had been potent enough to steal her soul.
His tongue parted her lips, flicking gently at her own, and she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, clutching him.
He made her feel alive, yet safe so long as he held her.
How could she feel so much for this man?
Perhaps it was because of all she had been through, and right now she would cling to any source of kindness?
No, it had to be something more. Because when Darius touched her, her body burned in secret places, her breath quickened and her heart jolted as though lightning had struck her.
Darius’s mouth moved over hers slowly, as if he had a thousand years to take his time kissing her and no other concerns to tear him away. Meredith slid one hand hesitantly into his hair, clutching the strands lightly.
“Meredith,” he growled when their mouths finally parted.
She nibbled his bottom lip, wanting the kiss to resume. “Yes?”
“I shouldn’t take advantage of you,” he said with an adorable uncertainty for a man who was so often so sure of himself.
“You aren’t,” she assured him. “It’s only a kiss.” Where this brazen, confident side of her came from, she couldn’t be sure. But she knew that this kiss was everything. They couldn’t stop now, not when it felt so wonderful. If she had her way, she’d never leave his lap.
He leaned his forehead against hers, breathing harder as he closed his eyes. His hands dug into her hips as he held her and she felt a little thrill shoot through her at the thought that he wanted to hold her so desperately.
“Only a kiss…” he echoed. “Quite innocent, really…” His gaze was a mixture of seductive and sweet. Then his lips were on hers again. Nothing else mattered but the taste of a duke’s kiss.
It was some time later before Meredith returned to her bed, exhausted, but happy, her mouth swollen from Darius’s attentions. It was only as she lay down, the candles and lamps having been extinguished, that the words of Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet drifted through her mind.
“Thus with a kiss, I die.”
It was only a kiss… But Meredith would gladly have died to know the feel of Darius’s mouth again. To feel that sense of belonging to him, if only for a few forbidden moments.