Chapter 23
Twenty-Three
One week.
Richard wasn’t sure how to categorize the first week of his marriage. Though the past days were many times better than the first week of his first marriage, no screaming or throwing of objects, their relationship was still not what he hoped.
Since their conversation at breakfast, when he nearly kissed Jane, there had been an odd tension between them.
Their relationship would be much simpler if they had kissed before the maid interrupted them.
Last night he kissed her on the cheek outside her chamber door.
Her disappointment was as clear as Duke’s was when Richard had stopped throwing the stick yesterday afternoon.
He had almost kissed her just to have the first one over with.
The problem was that he wanted her first kiss to be perfect for her. There could only be one first kiss.
He barely remembered his. A maid he fancied and thought himself enamored with.
Fortunately, not that he thought so at the time, his mother caught wind of the gossip.
Mother explained desire and duty to him and pointed out the foolish maid wanted more from him than a kiss.
When his father learned of the incident, his reaction had been disappointment that Richard did not exercise his position to gain the maximum pleasure.
Then, in a move meant to punish Richard, his father demonstrated exactly what he meant.
The maid was dismissed without references and with a reputation that would keep her from seeking employment in a respectable establishment.
The experience left a bitter taste in his mouth.
Years past before he kissed another woman.
One he wished to court. A woman he would have if his former father-in-law had not slipped something into Richard’s drink and his daughter into his bed.
Last he heard, the woman he wished to court had married another, still believing she had been ill-used by him.
Ethel’s practiced kisses lacked the emotion of his first kiss, as he never once believed himself in love with the snake that entwined herself into his life with a suffocating grip.
Though he never wished for Ethel’s death, he did not mourn her.
He felt more for the poor child, who was likely not even his, than he did for the woman who once occupied the title of duchess.
No, that was not true. When he thought of that child, he wished to comfort the angel she had been, but for a moment.
For Ethel, he wished that all of her sins would be met with justice, that her cruelty to those she despised, from Alexandra and Philippa to the scullery maid, that in some purgatory, she felt the misery her flirtations and affairs had caused him to feel.
Jane deserved more than an obligatory kiss.
Her first kiss, at the very least, must be to express a consummation of their growing friendship.
It should convey his attraction to her, which he had yet to speak, of.
The way he enjoyed her laugh, smile, conversation, and those mesmerizing eyes.
But also not too much of his attraction, a tempered desire as not to overwhelm her, but also leaving her wanting to kiss him again.
Five breathless kisses, why ever had he demanded such a thing?
Never since Adam first kissed Eve had a kiss been so over-thought as Richard was doing now.
Richard stood from his desk and turned to the window.
Snow covered the ground. What was he to do to court his wife today?
They had toured the portrait gallery, discussed horses—he must go to Tattersall’s to find her a suitable mount when next in town—, played almost every game he owned, and eaten every meal together. He was running out of ideas.
Duke bounded into the room and gave a single bark before running out.
A moment later the spaniel returned with Jane following. Her eyes bright and smile wide. Beautiful.
She bent down and praised the dog slipping him a bit of cheese. “He did it. He found you. Did you see that?”
“He came in and barked at me.”
“I asked him to ‘find the Duke’ and he barked only a minute later. Then he came back and guided me to you.” She scratched the dog’s ears. “What a good boy.”
“I am in my study, it is hardly a difficult task to find me here.”
“Difficult or not. He knew whom to look for. And he knows the difference between his name and ‘the Duke.”
Curious and wishing to spend time with his wife, he asked, “Can he find you?”
“I cannot ask him to.”
That would be quite impossible. “Shall we test him?”
“We should. Duke. Sit. Stay.” Jane closed the door after her.
Richard sat in the nearest chair and called the dog over to him. “Do you like me enough to listen to my commands when we are not playing a game of fetch?”
Duke looked up at Richard and tilted his head as if he understood. “Find Jane.”
The dog continued to look at him.
“Find the duchess.”
Duke didn’t budge.
What name would the dog recognize for his wife? Perhaps what the servants called her. “Find Her Grace.”
Duke went to the door and whined. Richard opened the door.
Duke sniffed the floor and went one direction then another before turning left in the corridor.
Richard was barely out of the room when Duke barked and came running back.
He barked again when he saw Richard and turned, looking back to be sure he was being followed by his human companion.
Duke led Richard to the main parlor where Jane sat by the window.
Richard praised the dog. “That is a useful trick in a house this large. You should know he thinks your name is ‘Her Grace.’”
Jane brought the dog a treat. “I was surprised that he knew the difference between his name and ‘the Duke.’ I assume Folley’s referred to you that way.”
Perfectly sensible for his tenants to refer to him as the Duke. Still, that the dog knew the difference when Richard struggled to recognize on occasion who she was speaking of when the “Duke” fell from Jane’s lips was impressive.
Jane scratched the dog behind his ears. “I wonder if the family knows all the commands Duke learned. There must be others. Because Mr. Marsh said that Duke brought Mr. Folley in from the field.”
“It could be that Mr. Folley realized that the dog had been sent to find him. Duke barks once when he finds the person.”
Jane stood. “If only you could talk. I do not wish to bother Mrs. Folley and bring up sad memories.”
“I believe the family will be happy to know Duke is doing well. We could visit next week.” An activity they could share.
“He has no problem eating. I believe he has gained some weight.”
“Marsh is pleased. I saw him this morning.” Richard studied the dog that clearly had his wife’s heart. “He might know what Duke is trained to do.”
“Do you have time to test the find command again? Perhaps someplace more difficult than your study?”
“Wait five minutes before you send him. I’ll do my best to hide.” Richard left them and hurried up the stairs.
The schoolroom was free of dust but still felt stale and unused.
Over twenty years had passed since he had sat in this room learning the rudiments of arithmetic and writing.
Looking out of the third-floor window, he could just see the church tower in the village.
How he had spent hours looking out of that window. Wishing to be outside.
Duke’s bark interrupted Richard’s musings. Before the dog could leave the room, Jane entered.
“A schoolroom? I should have assumed there was one.” She walked to the other narrow window. “This view would be most distracting.”
“It was.”
“It is most unfair that schoolrooms have lovely views both for the teacher and the pupil. Rose was forever staring out the window and drawing.”
“You taught her, correct?”
“Tried.” Her deep sigh came from her very soul. “I am not very good at teaching. At least not Rose.”
“How old were you when you started teaching her?”
Jane leaned against the wall next to the window, still looking out. “I was thirteen when Father let the governess go. Alex returned to Kellmore the next fall, and she tried to see to our lessons and often asked for my help.”
“So you were teaching before you were out of the schoolroom yourself?”
“I had already taught myself to read German by then. George says I knew more about most things than our governess. But I was not an effective teacher.” A sadness laced her voice.
Richard crossed over to her window. “It must have been very difficult. I assume you were both still mourning your mother. Though I know little about siblings, I do not think I could have taught Michael or his sisters when I was thirteen. They would never have listened to me. Your father should not have put you in such a position. I am surprised your grandfather allowed you to go without a governess.”
“I do not believe Grandfather knew much of our troubles until Phil and Alex went to London. How father hid them, I do not know.” Her voice softened to a whisper as her sadness deepened.
He had not meant to bring her spirits down. He reached for her hand, and she took his without flinching, intertwining their fingers.
At last. Richard celebrated inwardly, Jane turned to him, bringing their clasped hands up to her heart, and stepped closer. Richard waited for a heartbeat before wrapping his free arm around her in a hug. She let go of his hand and returned the gesture with both arms.
Richard adjusted his grip. Had he ever stood thus with a woman in his life?
Certainly not Ethel. His mother or nurse mayhap as a child.
The quick hugs of his younger cousins were not the same.
Never had he been in a position of holding a woman to comfort her, to support her, and to protect her.
Never had a woman wanted those things from him.
She did not cry, only relaxed into him. She drew strength from him and then stepped back, but not completely out of his arms.
The faintest blush tinged her cheeks. “I should not have presumed…”
“I am glad you did.” He encouraged her closer with a gentle pressure on her back, light enough she could easily resist.
She splayed her hands on his chest, not pushing him away but leaving a distance.
“Jane.”
Her eyes met his. Searching his as he searched hers, his gaze landed on her lips which parted ever so slightly. This was the moment. The one he had waited for since the missed kiss in the breakfast room.
Richard lowered his face to hers. The first touch a brush, soft as a butterfly landing. The second touch firmer. The third she stood on her toes to meet him.
This was more than her first kiss.
It became his. Erasing the maid, the girl he wished to court, and the practiced perfection of his late wife. This kiss connected more than lips, it slipped into the lock that protected his heart and broke it open.
Richard released the kiss before it grew into more. He rested his forehead on hers and waited, praying she felt half of what he did.