Chapter Nine
After Louisa had dragged him out of the bedroom, they walked in silence to the stairs. She led him down to the blue salon. Without asking, she went to a cabinet, retrieved a brandy bottle and poured out a glass, offering it to him.
He stepped forward to take it, then looked at her white face, handed it back to her and poured out a second glass for himself.
‘I do not drink spirits,’ she said, staring down at it.
‘This is a day for something stronger than lemonade,’ he said, and took a sip, staring down into the glass. Then he spoke the words that were still echoing in his mind. ‘He said no.’
‘He does that frequently,’ she said matter-of-factly, as if it did not surprise her at all.
‘Perhaps,’ he replied. ‘But I did not think he would say it to me.’ He had made so many plans before coming here. But none of them had accounted for failure. ‘No one has ever done that to me before.’ Even if it was true, it sounded petulant. Childish. He winced.
Louisa shrugged and said, ‘Well, you are a duke. There are not many men who have the authority to refuse you.’
‘Not today, I wasn’t.’ He’d gone into that room assuming a prestigious title would not be necessary to win over the old man.
Even without it, he had good looks and charm.
And he’d given Tom Smith sufficient money to cover the deficiency of rank.
This interview should have been straightforward.
‘I was wrong,’ he said gruffly. It was not quite an apology, but he could not manage that, just yet.
She offered him a sympathetic smile. ‘We should not have been surprised, really.’ She took a small sip of her brandy, then set it aside. ‘It was not your fault.’
That he had failed. Why would she not just say it?
Or even, ‘I told you so.’ Because she had.
And then, he’d disappointed her. The feeling twisted inside him like a knife.
‘His refusal makes no sense. He sent you to London with the express purpose of finding a husband. You did exactly as he wished.’
‘Well.’ She looked away again, fumbling with her glass. ‘It is not as if anyone thought I would succeed.’
‘Nonsense, Louisa,’ he said quickly. ‘I always assumed you would find someone, eventually.’
She took another sip from her glass and stared at the floor. ‘It has been three years. Even Percy had given up on me.’
‘It was well past time, then,’ Thomas said, hating to see her so dejected. ‘Your grandfather should have been expecting it would happen, this year.’
‘I know what you are trying to do,’ she said. ‘It is very kind, but I would prefer that we be honest with each other. We have all given up,’ she said, the words tumbling out as if she was stating an unfortunate truth. ‘I mean,’ she looked up again and gestured to herself awkwardly. ‘Look at me.’
He did, enjoying the excuse to stare at her in a way that would never have been proper, had he done it in public.
He started at her blue kid slippers, skimmed her trim figure and smart blue gown, lingering only a moment on her curves before stopping to smile at her face. ‘What, exactly, am I supposed to see?’
She rolled her eyes. ‘I am not the sort of woman one marries.’ Then, she laughed as if she expected him to see the joke and join her in her mirth.
‘I see nothing funny about the idea that you will marry,’ he said and gave her a stern look until her laughter died away. ‘I am sure there is a man who will suit you, should you wish to wait for him.’
‘He has taken his own time about showing up,’ she said, with the belligerence of someone enjoying her first brandy. ‘Or perhaps he has been and gone, having no desire to burden himself with such a bore.’
He frowned, confused. ‘You think that this is in some way your fault?’
‘Well, obviously,’ she said, giving him an incredulous look as if he was somehow missing the obvious. ‘I am clumsy and ungainly. Dull. Stupid…’
‘Balderdash!’
He had spoken too loudly again. Her head snapped around to check that the door was closed. Then she glanced up at the ceiling as if waiting for the thump of a cane. When nothing came, she turned back to him with a warning glare.
‘If I have stopped you from abusing yourself, it was worth any trouble I caused,’ he said.
Then he softened his tone and his expression.
‘There is nothing wrong with you, beyond a little shyness. Absolutely nothing that would put a fellow off if he took the proper time to get to know you. If the men of London have not realised it by now, it is their loss, not yours. And as for your looks?’ He stopped for breath.
‘You are the most attractive girl I know.’
‘I?’ She gave him a baffled look. Then she shook her head. ‘I have been told,’ she said stiffly, ‘that I am plain and graceless and should be lucky for the charity I will receive when I stop wasting money in London.’
‘And who told you such things?’ Thomas said gently. ‘Your grandfather, I suppose? The same man who just denied you his permission to marry.’
She nodded slowly.
‘He has been filling your mind with nonsense for years. I suppose each time you were unsuccessful, he blamed you.’
‘Well…’ Her lip trembled, as if she was caught between confusion and tears.
Dear God, do not let her cry. He felt helpless enough for failing her. He did not think he could stand it if she cried. But she needed to see the truth. ‘Has he ever given you any approval when you succeeded at things?’
Her eyes widened in surprise. ‘No, never.’
‘You run his house and his life. Percy’s as well when you are in London. And neither of them gives you enough credit for it.’
‘Helping Percy is no burden,’ she protested. ‘But when I am here? It is difficult for me to keep things exactly as Grandfather wants them.’ She stared down at her hands again. ‘He is very particular.’
‘It is not your fault if he is miserable. He is impossible to please. He was too particular to settle for me as your bridegroom,’ Thomas said, trying to joke her out of her funk. ‘And I am a… Well, I am not a duke, at the moment. But Tom Smith has excellent references.’
‘That you forged,’ she pointed out. Then, the corners of her mouth twitched upward and he felt a rush of relief.
‘There was no logical reason for him to refuse me, you know,’ he said thoughtfully.
‘But he did,’ she reminded him with a sigh. ‘There is very little we can do about it, now.’
She was ready to give up. It was no surprise. That was what she’d been trained to do. ‘On the contrary,’ he said, smiling. ‘We must persevere.’
‘Must we?’ she said.
‘Of course. You want your money, don’t you?’
She bit her lip and said, ‘I do not know. If there was some other way…’
‘You surely want your freedom?’ he coaxed. ‘There is a world outside of this house and away from the man who has been hectoring you for years. It is yours for the taking if you want it.’
The look she gave him was full of many emotions he’d never seen her express.
There was longing, hope, fear and a long-hidden light that made him want to take her hands and pull her from the house immediately.
This failed game wasn’t necessary. All he needed to do was be himself.
He could change her world in an instant if he wished to.
Her mouth opened, ready to speak. Then, she closed it and shook her head. The spark he’d just seen in her eyes became a dying ember. ‘Not everyone is given the world for the taking, Your Grace. Some of us, especially the women, must get along as best we can with what is left over.’
It was a day of firsts. He had been denied something he wanted. Now he’d found a woman who scorned his title and mocked his attempt to help her. His temper flared but he tamped it down again. She got enough abuse from her grandfather. She did not need more from him.
‘Do not give up hope so quickly, Louisa. Your grandfather just needs a bit of time to get used to the idea that you are getting married. And to get to know me—I mean, Smith.’
‘I am not giving up,’ she said, a little of the fire returning.
‘He will hate Tom Smith just as much tomorrow as he does today. But he wants to keep the money. That much is clear. It doesn’t really matter to him what happens to me,’ she said.
‘I can go with a husband, or without, but I will never see a penny of what was promised to me.’
‘The money is yours. He has no right to it. A will is a legal document and meant to be obeyed. One does not have to be a duke to know that. There is no justice in the world if people break the rules of the land and face no consequences.’
The smile she gave him now was weary. ‘I am aware of that fact. I have lived with it much longer than you have. While I am very grateful for what you have done, I have caused you enough trouble and do not wish to bother you further with this. Go back to London with my thanks. I will try to find a way out by myself.’
It was another first. He was not used to being patronised or dismissed, especially after a single mistake. He scowled and said, ‘I am sorry. I do not agree.’
‘That is not up to you,’ she sputtered as her expression shifted from calm resignation to a deliciously unguarded irritation. ‘This is my life we are talking about. My future.’
It was time to cast off the courteous Mr Smith to be himself again. ‘I am well aware of that. But I am honour-bound to continue.’
‘What does honour have to do with any of this?’ she asked impatiently.
‘I am a duke, am I not?’
‘That fact is not in question,’ she said dryly.
‘I am sure there is some expectation attached to the title about protecting innocents and helping young ladies in need.’
‘I have never heard of one,’ she said, still looking cross.
‘It is unwritten,’ he replied.
She was definitely angry, now. It was a pleasant change from cowed and miserable. ‘You think some imaginary rule entitles you to help me against my wishes?’