Chapter Twenty-Three
G race dressed slowly for Almack’s. She knew what a triumph it was for her to get not one but three vouchers. Indeed, Phoebe and Lucy were chattering like old friends, giggling about one thing or another. But she couldn’t share their excitement. Perhaps they would find their future husbands tonight. Perhaps they would find love. But she knew her future was set. There would be no grand experience tonight. There would be nothing but the certainty of a life spent alone.
Because she had already found her love. She had already fallen for Declan. No other man saw her so clearly. He called her by her Chinese name, he defended her reputation, and even fought his own mother on her behalf. She tried to find an exact moment when she’d tumbled into love, but it had been a gradual thing. The way he had looked at her in the crow’s nest. The way he had appeared beneath the burned pagoda. She relived his kiss. She felt his need. And she ached whenever she saw him.
But that wasn’t love. She knew that. That was lust and desire. What had made her realise that it was love was the devastation she’d felt at the idea that her foreign blood would taint him and his children. He was the epitome of English perfection, and she would only poison his power and his position.
She would not do that to him. And that willingness to sacrifice her feelings for him told her as clearly as a full sail where the wind blew. She loved him. She loved his children, who didn’t even exist yet. She loved his seeking mind and his open heart.
And so she would leave for Italy, or Africa, or wherever the wind took her, rather than poison Declan with her tainted heritage.
Her sister took her hand, jolting her out of her dark thoughts. ‘You can always sail again,’ she said softly.
Grace nodded, knowing it was true. But it wouldn’t be the answer she wanted. She’d sailed as a way to find a safety that hadn’t existed in China. She’d become an excellent navigator as a way to create value for herself. And when she had no longer been protected aboard ship, and no longer allowed at the temple because of her age, she’d found safety with Lord Wenshire as he sailed for England.
Everything she had ever done had been to find a safe space where she could live and thrive. She’d never expected to find it with an English mandarin. But Declan had proved himself strong, respectful, and generous. And she loved him.
‘I am tired of sailing,’ she said honestly. ‘Perhaps Father and I will find a place in Italy.’
‘No!’ Phoebe exclaimed as she came to Grace’s side. ‘You will find true love tonight. We all will!’
Grace exchanged a knowing look with her sister. Phoebe had a generous heart, but also a na?ve one. She still believed in fairy tales and Grace found that charming.
‘Maybe I will,’ she finally said. ‘Who knows where the wind will blow?’
‘Exactly!’ Phoebe declared.
And then she all but dragged the two girls downstairs, where Lord Wenshire was waiting with Phoebe’s parents.
‘My goodness. I cannot credit such loveliness,’ he said. ‘You three astound me.’
‘You are the best of fathers,’ Grace said, feeling every word.
And Lucy echoed it a thousandfold.
In the end, the three girls climbed into a single carriage with Lord Wenshire. Phoebe’s parents weren’t allowed in Almack’s without vouchers, whereas Grace’s father had a title and would not be turned aside. Grace counted it a mistake that she hadn’t thought to demand vouchers for Phoebe’s parents, but everyone assured her they were well pleased with the situation.
After all, Pheobe would not have got a voucher at all without her.
They entered Almack’s amid the usual crowds of debutantes. There were whispers, of course, and pointed stares, but Grace was used to them. Lucy seemed unnerved, but Phoebe shone brighter than them both. She heard the sneers. None of them could avoid it. But the girl simply grinned brightly and talked with excitement about how wonderful it was that the Duchess had sponsored them all.
It wouldn’t have worked if the Duchess and Countess hadn’t played their part. But they were there, right by the front entrance, when Grace presented their vouchers. The ladies exclaimed at their beauty, applauded their curtsies, and immediately introduced all three of them to an entire line of gentlemen.
Clearly they were working very hard to make all three of them acceptable to any man who wasn’t one of their sons. And the girls did their best to charm, enchant, and otherwise dazzle the men who bowed before them.
But Grace’s heart wasn’t in it.
That was until Declan strode in.
He looked every inch the Duke he was. He wore black, with a red ruby in his white cravat. His boots gleamed, but not as brightly as his eyes as he scanned the crowd until his gaze landed on her. Then he smiled, and her heart tripped in her chest.
How she loved that man. Just looking at him made her feel safe. She knew, despite everything to the contrary, that he would make sure nothing harmed her in his presence. Not even his mother, who was just then coming to his side with a furious expression.
‘Declan,’ the woman said. ‘What are you doing here?’ Her voice wasn’t loud enough for people to hear clearly, but the question was there on her face for all to see.
‘I am here,’ he said, ‘to make my choice.’
And with those words he disentangled his mother’s hand from his forearm and walked straight into the pattern of the dance.
It was incredibly disruptive. Dancers scattered before him, and the music faltered until everything was in disarray. But of course the dance had already been disrupted, because Grace hadn’t been able to move from the moment he’d entered the hall.
It had been one thing to see him, to talk to him, to do such secret things with him when she hadn’t been aware of her feelings. It was desire, it was distraction, it was excitement. But now she knew it was love. She was in love with him. And he was stepping through the crowd of people like a warrior of old, coming to stand directly before her.
‘Your Grace,’ she murmured as she dipped into a curtsey.
‘Miss Richards,’ he said as he pulled her up.
And he kept drawing her hand up, higher and higher, as he pressed his mouth to the back of her glove.
Somewhere in the distant part of her mind she was aware of people staring at them. She heard outraged murmurs, and the Duchess saying something sharp to someone. She didn’t care. All that mattered was that he was looking into her eyes as if she were the wind in his sails after a long stillness.
‘Marry me.’
She read the words from his lips because she could not hear over the roaring in her ears.
‘What?’
His lips curved and he stepped forward. ‘I’m such an idiot. You kept saying that love was not enough. It’s not enough if it’s yours alone. That’s what you meant. You love me, but that’s not enough.’
She swallowed, tears destroying her vision. ‘Your Grace—’ she began, but her words were choked off as he dropped down to one knee before her.
‘I love you. That’s what I forgot to say. I love you. I want to marry you.’
She stared at him, not knowing what to do.
‘I am the best that England has to offer. I am clever, educated, and titled. I lay all that at your feet, Miss Grace Nayao Richards. And I want more than the best of England at my side. I want the best of China.’
She blinked. ‘But I am not the best of China or of anywhere.’
‘You are beautiful and clever. You question things and learn. And you have taught me so much that I never even thought to wonder about.’ He pressed his lips to her hands. ‘There is a whole wide world beyond England, and I want to share every bit of it with you.’
‘Have you lost your mind?’
A male voice cut through the crowd. She didn’t even know who it was until Cedric grabbed Declan’s arm.
‘You can’t marry her any more than I could!’
Declan didn’t rise from where he still knelt on one knee. Instead, he rolled his eyes. ‘Cousin, you are a boor.’
‘And she’s a thief and a liar.’
Her head jerked round. She heard the condemnation in Cedric’s voice but did not understand it. Both men knew she had stolen to survive and lied to escape danger. But she had only done such out of necessity. Why would Cedric condemn her for that now?
‘She’s not really Lord Wenshire’s daughter,’ Cedric continued, his voice echoing loudly in the silent room. ‘She lied about it in China and she’s still lying to him. She is not his child.’
Grace’s mouth dropped open. How could he know this? Then she remembered. Lucy had told him and had sworn him to secrecy. And now he had betrayed them both.
A slap rang out, loud and sharp. Grace had not seen her sister step forward, but the sound was clear as it echoed through the room. Not to mention the sight of Lucy’s bright red handprint on Lord Domac’s cheek.
‘I did not think you could stoop any lower,’ Lucy cried. ‘And to think I once thought you clever. Safe, clever, and kind.’ She shook her head. ‘You have fooled me just as your father fooled your mother. You are a villain worse than Lord Jasper.’
Cedric reared up, his expression changing to one of horror as he looked at Lucy. Then he looked around at the crowd, and he flushed a dark red. ‘Lucy, I didn’t mean—’
‘Step away, Cedric. Or I swear to God I will put you into the ground.’
That was Declan, his voice cold and hard as he stood to face his cousin.
‘Not a penny, Cedric. Not a penny to you or your sisters. You know that is how they survive now. It is upon my charity. But I will end it.’
‘You can’t—’ Cedric began.
But it all was forestalled by Grace’s father. He began swinging his cane as he cleared a path forward.
‘Stop it!’ he bellowed as he whipped the cane up and down between the men. ‘Good God, I am ashamed to be English. Stop it!’
Both men had no choice but to back away, and in that space Grace looked to her father. She had tried so many times to tell him the truth, but it had always seemed too dangerous. And now she was exposed.
‘I’m so sorry,’ she said. ‘I didn’t speak English. I didn’t know why you had chosen me. I didn’t realise what you believed.’
She truly hadn’t known he thought her his daughter. All she’d been told by the monks was that he was taking her away from China. And that was exactly where she’d wanted to be—away and safe.
‘Hush...hush, child,’ her father said as he set his cane on the floor. ‘I knew the truth from the beginning. The woman I loved and our child died years before. I knew that long before I went to the temple.’
Grace gasped in surprise.
Lucy did as well, her hands clasped tight in front of her.
‘You knew?’ Lucy whispered.
‘I did.’ He touched Lucy’s cheek, and then he smiled at Grace. ‘I could not save my child, but I could save you. I could bring you here and give you a life such as I would have given my own flesh and blood.’ He looked disdainfully about them. ‘But I can see that was foolish. My own people are as ignorant and cruel as yours.’ He lifted his chin. ‘If you wish, we can leave at once for Italy, or Morocco, or any other land. We can try again to live without such idiocy.’
This was too much. Grace could not understand it. She stood there, looking at her sister, looking too at her father, who offered her a safe place far away from here.
What was she to do?
‘Forget them,’ Declan said. ‘Forget them all. Look at me.’
She turned to him and felt her face heat with embarrassment. He was back on one knee before her.
‘You should not be on the floor,’ she whispered.
‘It is our custom. I will stay here until you answer.’
‘But you cannot want me,’ she whispered. ‘I am...’
‘What?’ he pressed. ‘What are you? A by-blow of mixed blood? I don’t care. A woman who has survived on her wit and her skills? Absolutely. A woman who can choose her future. A future with her father, who loves her, or...’ He gathered her hands and tugged her closer to him. ‘Or a future with me. You are the woman I love, Nayao. Stay with me.’
He loved her? Not possible.
And yet she saw it in his eyes. She felt it in his hands where he held her. And she knew it in her heart. He did love her.
‘But your mother...’ she whispered.
‘Do you know why I have proposed this way? Here in front of the haut ton ? Because it will be a huge scandal. It will be spoken of from this day on, long after we are dead and buried. I want everyone to know that you are exquisite and that I love you. That I will defend you and honour you until the end of my days. And any who speak against you will have to answer to me.’
How his words filled her. Everything she wanted, everything she hadn’t dared dream of, was right here before her.
On one knee before her.
‘And our children?’
‘I adore them already.’ He drew her forward. ‘Don’t be afraid. Remember the people who loved and protected you. Our children will have us. They will know more than this tiny corner of England. They will thrive, no matter what others say, because we will love them.’
Would that be enough? She didn’t know.
‘I never want them to be alone.’
‘Neither do I,’ he said. ‘I will never abandon them, and I will never abandon you. I love you.’
She didn’t have an answer. Not one that came from her lips. And yet she heard herself gasp. She felt her knees buckle as he steadied her coming down to the floor. Soon they were face to face, both on their knees, and he braced her even as he touched her face.
‘Could you love me?’ he whispered.
She nodded, unable to force the words out. But then other words came. ‘How can you love me?’
‘How can I not? You are everything I want.’
Then he kissed her. Right in front of his mother, his aunt, and all the haut ton. He pressed his lips to her mouth and wrapped an arm around her shoulders until she was deep in his embrace. And from that position she opened to him. She gripped him tight as he supported her. And when they separated to draw breath, he whispered into her ear.
‘Will you marry me?’
What could she say? He was her safety. He was her love.
‘Yes.’
‘I have a special licence. We can be wed tonight.’
‘What?’
‘I will not let you change your mind.’
Or perhaps he would not let his mother or those around him force his hand.
Her gaze flickered to the people who surrounded them, all with their mouths agape.
‘No,’ he whispered. ‘Don’t doubt me. I will wait until you are ready or I will marry you this very night. Nothing will change my mind.’
‘What of our children? What of your political power?’
‘Both stronger for my being with you.’ He touched her cheek. ‘Do you not feel it? How we teach each other? How we make each other better?’
She did. She knew it because with him she felt free enough to do anything.
‘Now,’ she said. ‘Tonight.’
‘An excellent choice, Your Grace!’ he cried as he pushed to his feet.
She didn’t realise he was carrying her until she began to rise with him. Somehow he’d slipped his arm under her, and now he settled her against his solid chest.
‘Your Grace!’ she cried, alarmed.
‘Declan,’ he corrected. ‘Call me by my given name.’
She smiled. ‘I love you, Declan.’
‘I love you.’