Chapter 21
Twenty-One
“How would you feel about attending Lady Salisbury’s ball?” Tobias asked over breakfast a few days later.
Rowen swallowed her bite of toast. Since the incident with the fencing instructor, she had been true to her word and insisted that Tobias join them for meals.
The result had made mealtimes a far more lively experience. She had not realized just how wonderful Tobias’s laughter was until it echoed regularly through the halls, mingling with her children’s.
How could I not have trusted this man?
She realized that she had not answered his question and bit her lip. “When is it?”
“This Friday, I believe.” Tobias’s eyes flicked to the invitation and then back to her.
“It has been some time since I attended a ball.” Rowen took another mouthful of her toast, trying to ignore the unease in her chest. “I cannot even remember the last time I danced at one.”
“Are you worried you will not remember how?” Tobias’s eyes glittered in a way that made her stomach flutter. “We could always practice before we go.”
“How gallant of you,” Rowen teased, feeling her own smile widen even as the hairs on the back of her neck stood on end. “There are easier ways to get me to dance with you, you know.”
“Are there, indeed? Then it would seem I have been missing out.” Tobias chuckled.
“I am not sure you have. I have never considered myself a particularly skilled dancer.”
“You dance like a sack of potatoes, Rowen.”
Her mother’s words echoed in her mind, but she pushed them away.
“I suspect you are a rather lithe dancer, especially if you dance with the same grace you walk,” Tobias remarked.
“You flatter me, but my late husband would have described dancing with me as somewhat perilous.” She tried to keep her tone light, as though the thought didn’t sting, but something of the truth must have shown on her face.
Tobias’s eyes darkened, and his lips thinned briefly. “I happen to like a little danger in my dancing.”
“Your feet might not.” She could not quite get her smile to reach her eyes.
“It is a chance I am willing to take. I have suffered far worse for far less rewards.” He gave her a smile that made her cheeks redden. “I will take a little pain if it means I might dance with you.”
“And what if I make a fool of myself?” The words slipped past her lips before she could stop them.
“Do you really think I would let that happen?” His voice was gentle. “A dance is a partnership, and I happen to be a rather good leader. I have the medals to prove it.”
“I thought those were for your prowess in battle?” Some of the tension in her chest eased.
He shrugged. “Leadership is leadership, whether it is on the battlefield or the dance floor. I would not lead you into harm.”
“I know.” To her surprise, she found that she meant it.
His serious green eyes found hers, and she felt the corners of her lips quirk up.
“Good.” His familiar grin slipped back into place. “Now, shall I tell Lady Salisbury that we will be attending her ball? No doubt the ton is itching to see the new Duchess in all her glory.”
His words made the tension return to her once more. It was as though she could already feel the ton’s eyes on her, watching her, judging her. “I suppose it will be nice.”
She tried to sound more excited, but her thoughts kept drifting to her wardrobe. Though she had some lovely dresses, she did not have anything suitable for a ball, aside from her wedding gown. The ton would expect her to look the part of a duchess.
Her mind turned back to the lavender dress at Mrs. Green’s.
“You seem hesitant. If you would rather not go, I can send our apologies,” Tobias offered.
“No, it is not that. I… I am not sure I have anything to wear.” Rowen looked down at the table, her cheeks reddening. “Well, I do, but…”
When she looked up, Tobias was staring at her with puzzled amusement. His lips curled into a half smile as he arched an eyebrow.
“But what?” he asked.
“It seems silly. There is this dress that I cannot seem to stop thinking about. I saw it when we were getting clothes for the wedding, and… Well, it is beautiful, and I could have the design altered for me, and perhaps choose a different fabric, but… It seems a rather silly expense.” Rowen shrugged.
“Forget I said anything. I can wear one of my other dresses.”
“And how often have you thought of this dress since our wedding?” Tobias asked.
“Not very often.” She tried to keep her tone neutral, but was clearly unsuccessful.
“That is the worst lie you have ever told me.” Tobias laughed and beckoned one of the footmen over. “Thomas, prepare the carriage.”
“Of course, Your Grace.” The footman swept into a low bow.
Rowen frowned. “What are you doing?”
“We are going shopping.” Tobias held out his arm to her. “I am not about to let you wear anything you feel less than fabulous in. Besides, this dress must be quite something to have held your mind for so long. And I find myself rather curious to see you in it.”
Rowen saw his eyes darken as his lips quirked up. “But it will be frightfully expensive.”
“Duchess, when are you going to learn? There is no expense too great to incur if it is what your heart desires.” He leaned towards her, his eyes full of mischief. “Now, I suggest you get changed. The carriage driver is rather efficient, and I intend to make the most of the daylight.”
He grinned as he walked out of the room and called over his shoulder, “There is no point in draping you in finery if I cannot see how you look in it.”
An hour later, they were standing in Mrs. Green’s shop. An apprentice stood beside them with several bolts of fabric, a book of designs, and several hats.
Rowen was acutely aware of the eyes of the other clients on them.
I can hardly blame them. I feel as though we are buying nearly the entire store!
She shifted beneath their gaze.
From the moment they had walked into the modiste’s, if Rowen’s gaze had lingered on a fabric for more than a few seconds, Tobias would demand it be put aside. If her finger had lingered on a design page, he would have an apprentice whisk her away to be measured.
“Your Graces, it’s an honor and a pleasure as always.” Mrs. Green bobbed a curtsey before approaching them. “You will forgive me for not seeing to you sooner; the Countess of Codlington took up rather more of my time than I had expected.”
Tobias inclined his head towards her and gave his most charming smile. “My wife speaks most highly of you, Mrs. Green, and her wedding dress is truly a testament to your skill.”
“Your Grace is too kind.” Mrs. Green’s smile widened.
“I am simply a keen observer of beauty.” Tobias looked around the shop, and Rowen knew he was taking in the curious faces.
Again, she shifted uncomfortably.
What will they think of me? Do they think me vain?
She opened her mouth, ready to suggest they leave. After all, she had more than enough. But the words died in her throat as Tobias’s green eyes found hers.
“Mrs. Green, I am a rather private man, and I do not relish the thought of sharing the loveliness that is my wife with the whole ton. At least, not until they see the rapturous product that is the culmination of your artistry and my wife’s beauty.
” His eyes left hers, and she knew her cheeks were so red they would make a strawberry seem pale.
His words hung between them, and Rowen saw Mrs. Green stiffen.
Before the woman could say another word, Tobias tapped the pocket of his coat, making the heavy coins clink together. “Of course, you will be compensated for your trouble.”
Mrs. Green’s eyes widened, then she nodded. “Will the afternoon be sufficient, Your Grace?”
Tobias looked at Rowen, an eyebrow arched in an unspoken question.
Rowen swallowed, not trusting herself to speak.
Tobias nodded to Mrs. Green. “That will be perfect.”
“Then I shall let the other clients know that we will unfortunately be closing in ten minutes.” Mrs. Green clapped her hands together. “I shall have Demelza set aside what you have already chosen, and of course, anything else you require, I will see to personally.”
She swept away, clapping her hands and announcing that she would be engaged in a private consultation for the remainder of the afternoon.
Rowen heard a few mutters of protest, but as soon as Tobias turned his gaze in their direction, the protests died.
“You did not have to do that,” Rowen muttered, tucking her hair behind her ear. “I already have more than enough. We could have just paid for everything and left.”
Tobias shook his head. “Without this lavender dress you have been dreaming of? I think not, Duchess. Besides, I meant what I said. I have no wish to share you with anyone.” His eyes darkened, pinning her in place as all thought fled from her mind.
“Let them only have the finished picture—I want the journey.”
Her heart thundered in her chest, lips parting.
What else do you want?
She bit back the words and tore her gaze away from him, her head spinning. Her eyes drifted to the lavender dress, even as his gaze on her made every hair on her arms stand on end.
“Is that the one?” His voice was low.
She nodded and gestured to the pile of fabric and drawings on the counter. “We have already spent so much, and with all the changes, it will cost a king’s ransom.”
“And yet our coffers will scarcely feel the difference,” Tobias declared. “If you want the dress, you should have it.”
Rowen looked at it and then back at him. “Are you sure?”
“Do I look like a man who does not know his own mind?” His voice was amused, and he gently took her hand in his. “That dress is what you desire, and it will be yours. I will hear nothing else.”
“With the hats and the gloves and the shoes—it is all so much. And I… I do not want you to waste so much money, not on me.” Rowen forced herself to meet his gaze.
Tobias let out a low chuckle that sent a shiver down her spine. He closed the distance between them, tilting her chin up towards him with the tip of his forefinger. She was glad that he had convinced the modiste to let them have the shop for the afternoon.
As their eyes met, the intensity of his gaze sent a rush through her. She inhaled deeply.
“Rowen, nothing I ever spend on you could be a waste.” His eyes were dark and somber, like the heart of a forest. “And I think it is high time I taught you that lesson.”
“But—” Rowen began.
He gently pressed a finger to her lips.
The warmth of his touch flooded her with a fire that stole her breath away. The scent of cedar and pine clouded her mind, and she could not move.
“But nothing. You deserve this, Rowen. All of it and more.” He gestured towards the dress. “I will not let you leave until I know you have bought everything your heart truly desires.”
Rowen laughed. “You just want to make sure I look good enough not to embarrass you. I assure you, dear husband, we have more than enough for that.”
“No, Rowen. I want to spoil you. Is that so very hard to believe?” He let out an exasperated chuckle. “I want to lavish you with gifts and things that make you smile. If I can make you feel even a tenth of the care and consideration you show to others, I will be able to rest easy.”
“What?” She shook her head, trying to clear the fog from her mind.
“Do you think I had not noticed the way you always put everyone else first? You spend your life anticipating everything everyone else could possibly want. Since you have moved in, I have never run out of ink, and you always ensure it is my favorite brand.” Tobias’s lips quirked into a half smile.
“I know that your favorite piece of chicken is the thigh—I can tell by the way your eyes widen when you see me carve. Yet you never take it because that is Georgie and Alistair’s favorite piece as well. ”
How closely has he been watching me?
Rowen’s eyes widened, but before she could deny it, Tobias continued, “I watch the way you hold yourself back whilst being so generous with those around you. You give so much, and you have sacrificed so much to care for those you love.”
“Anyone would have done that,” Rowen pointed out feebly.
Tobias shook his head. “No, they would not. And they definitely would not continue to do so once they had come into the kind of wealth you now possess.” He ran a hand through his hair. “In all the time you have lived with me, you have purchased nothing that is solely for you.”
“I bought the furniture—”
“For the house,” Tobias cut in. “You have done so much for your family. It is high time someone did something for you. You deserve to be pampered, to have someone think about you and what you need.” He reached a hand towards her and then let it fall, his fingers twitching.
“Let me give that to you. I want to give that to you.”
His words broke something inside her. The lump that had been growing in her throat was so large that she could not speak. She felt tears spring to her eyes. Her heart twisted and turned, and then she was flinging her arms around him and pressing a kiss to his cheek.
“Thank you,” she choked out.
She backed away, wiping a tear from her face. Tobias’s mouth fell open, and his cheeks were a shade of pink. Rowen smiled as he tugged at his collar, shifting his weight from foot to foot even as he grinned back at her.
“Does this mean you will let me spoil you, Duchess?” His voice was oddly hoarse.
She hesitated, feeling that familiar tightness in her chest. Her years of saying no hammered at her, desperate to escape.
She bit her lip and nodded. “Yes. I am not used to being treated like this.”
“Then we shall have to practice.” Tobias grinned.
And Rowen realized that it was not an unappealing prospect.