Chapter 24
Twenty-Four
“Are you all right?” Tobias asked as soon as Rowen was within earshot.
It had taken all of his willpower not to intervene when he saw her mother corner her. Every instinct had screamed at him to go to her, to protect her. But then she had met his gaze, and he had seen a determination in her eyes that had soothed the wild animal in his chest.
She can do this.
His eyes roamed over Rowen as he ran through a mental catalog of her body language. Her shoulders were relaxed, and she stood tall and proud. Her lips were not curled into a smile, but there was no hint of sadness in her eyes.
“I am fine.” She stopped just in front of him and let out a shaky breath. “In fact, I am better than fine.”
They were standing a little way away from the dance floor, but he could feel the eyes of the other guests on them.
“If you need to leave—”
“I do not want to. I have no intention of letting my mother spoil an otherwise lovely evening.” Her eyes drifted back to her mother. “I want to dance.”
“Then that is what we shall do.” He held out a hand to her. “Assuming, of course, you wish to dance with me.” He canted his head towards her, a half-smile on his face.
She smiled back. “That would be perfect.”
The softness of her warm hand as she slipped it into his sent gooseflesh across his skin. He led her to the dance floor, all too aware of the eyes on them.
The orchestra burst to life, and they began to dance. The scent of violets filled his senses, and he could feel the warmth of her beneath his hands.
They moved in sync, almost as though they were one body and not two.
“Thank you,” Rowen said after a moment.
Tobias furrowed his brow. “For what?”
Rowen bit her lip, a crease forming on her brow as though she were searching for the right words. “When I was speaking to my mother, there was a moment when I thought you might join us. But you did not.”
“It seemed important to let you do it for yourself.” Tobias shrugged. “You did not need me, so I stayed away.”
His chest squeezed, and he saw a flicker of emotion cross Rowen’s face that he could not quite place.
“I did not need you beside me, that is true. But you gave me the strength to do something I should have done a long time ago.”
“Which is?”
“To see my mother’s true nature.” She let out a long breath, her smile fading. “All my life, she has torn me down, made me feel small and selfish and ugly. Tonight, I understood why. She is frightened and lonely. She thinks that to love someone is to control them.”
“She would have gotten on well with my father. He thought obedience was love.”
Tobias felt the corners of his mouth quirk down. The word ‘father’ tasted bitter on his tongue.
“Perhaps.” Rowen shook her head and let out a bitter laugh. “Though that would require her to change rather a lot about herself. She likes to cut people down, to attack rather than to connect.”
“And I suspect you gave her a taste of her own medicine.” Tobias smiled at her. “You have a rather sharp tongue.”
“In the past, I would have. I would have wanted to hurt her the way she hurt me. But tonight…” Rowen sighed. “I just felt sorry for her. It was like I could see all the lies that she had built her life upon. And all I could think was how sad and lonely that would be.”
Tobias’s confusion must have shown on his face, because she added, “That is not to say I forgive her or that I want her in my life. In fact, I know I do not. But I did not need to tear her down. I wished her peace, and I meant it. Whether she chooses to find it is out of my hands.”
“You are a better person than I am, Rowen. I could not have shown such compassion to her.” Tobias’s mind flashed to his father, to the last words he had said to him.
He felt Rowen’s thumb stroke his hand, pulling him back to the present. Her grey eyes glittered in the candlelight, and there was an emotion in them he could not name.
“It is easy to show someone else grace when you have received it.” Rowen’s voice was gentle but firm, her grey eyes serious. “I could see what drove her, and let it go, because of the lo—care I have received from everyone else in my life. Including you.”
Tobias swallowed. He felt like she was not just looking at him, like she was seeing him. The strength and warmth of her words hit him with the force of a bullet. His heart thundered in his chest as his mind went over her words over and over again.
Including you.
“You could have swooped in, put yourself between me and her. I have seen how protective you are, how fiercely you defend people.” She swallowed. “You trusted that I could save myself.”
“How could I do anything else?” The words escaped before he could stop them.
She smiled, and as they twirled across the dance floor, she leaned towards him, whispering in his ear, “And that is what makes you exceptional, too.”
Her breath tickled his skin. Every muscle in his body tensed. He felt as though his chest was caught in an invisible fist.
He opened his mouth, ready to refute her statement, but she shook her head. “I will not hear a word to the contrary.”
“Is that an order, Duchess?” Tobias’s voice was hoarse.
She is so close.
“No, Colonel. It is simply a fact.” Her eyes met his, and she laughed, bright and beautiful.
He could not help but laugh with her, even as a part of him twisted with disquiet.
He would not dampen her mood. He could let her be wrong. He could give her one wonderful night.
“And that is what makes you exceptional, too.”
Rowen’s words kept playing in his head the next day. The feel of her lips against his skin, the sound of her laughter…
Just thinking of the evening made him smile.
“Tobias, have you heard a word I said?” Rowen’s voice called him back to the study.
She was standing by his desk, pointing to several things on a large map of the estate. Her hair was tied up in a loose bun, and she was wearing an elegant but practical dress. She gestured again at the map.
“I was a million miles away,” Tobias admitted, unable to keep from smiling as he leaned against the mantelpiece.
I thought distance would give me a clearer head.
“Clearly.” Rowen laughed and perched on the edge of the desk, her arms folded. “And are you going to tell me what you were thinking about?”
“Last night.” He smiled at the slight blush that spread across her cheeks. “I cannot recall the last time I had such a good time at a ball.”
“Nor can I.” Rowen moved to stand beside him, leaning against the opposite side of the mantelpiece. “Aside from the interlude with my mother, it was rather a perfect evening. And the widows adore you. Cora, especially.”
“I am glad I had the opportunity to get to know them a little more.” Tobias grinned. “Lady Cora has quite the sense of humor. I have heard sailors tell less scandalous jokes.”
“I suspect she was testing you. She has little patience for men who balk at a woman who can joke like one of them.”
“And do you think I passed her test?”
“Would it matter to you if you had not?”
“Yes. I have no wish to get on her bad side. And I know she is important to you.”
“She is. And it is obvious that she thinks well of you. She would not have invited you to her house otherwise.”
“Then I am honored.”
“I wondered about making the journey in the summer. The roads are awful in winter, and there will be too much to do in spring.”
“How long would you go for?” His chest tightened, and he felt the urge to pull her close.
What is wrong with me?
“Only a couple of weeks. I would not want us to be away from the estate for too long.” Rowen made a dismissive gesture with her hand.
“If you wish to stay longer, I am sure we could manage. And leaving in the summer will give me ample time to hire guards to accompany you. I would not want anything to happen to you.”
“I suppose having an escort is sensible, though it means the journey will be longer. Still, a traveling duke and duchess will no doubt be a target, even if we use one of the nondescript carriages.”
Tobias’s eyes widened, and his jaw dropped.
Rowen clearly noticed his expression, for her cheeks flushed scarlet. “I did not mean to assume. I mean, if you are busy, I will understand, and I know it is a long journey—”
“I would love to accompany you,” Tobias cut her off, closing the distance between them. “If you want me there, of course.”
“I do.” Rowen swallowed.
A knock sounded at the door, and Tobias frowned, calling, “Enter.”
The door opened, revealing Alistair standing there with several sheets of paper in his hands. His hair was disheveled, and his cheeks were slightly flushed.
“I was wondering if you could help me with my homework?” He held the papers up. “I have tried and tried, but I can’t make sense of any of it.”
Tobias was aware of Rowen’s gaze on him as he nodded and beckoned the boy inside. “I can certainly try.”
“Thank you!” Alistair waved briefly at his mother as he walked past her, then laid out the papers on the desk. “It is this one here, you see.” He pointed to one of the sums on the page.
Tobias nodded. “I think I see the problem. It is an easy enough mistake to make.”
He took a quill and dipped it in ink, pulling a scrap of paper towards him as he wrote down the solution to the problem.
“You forgot to carry the one, that is all. You see?”
Alistair slapped a hand to his forehead. “I should have remembered. Can you help me with this one as well?”
Tobias nodded and squinted at the paper, trying to puzzle out the numbers. He rubbed his forehead, trying to find the mistake. At that moment, Georgie appeared and skipped into the room.
“Can we have a fencing lesson?” She jumped onto the desk and started swinging her legs.
“Perhaps once I have helped Alistair with his homework.” Tobias gestured to the papers he had hastily swept out of her way.
“Maybe I can help?” Georgie offered, leaning over the pages. “I’m quite good at maths.”
“I don’t want your help, Georgie.” Alistair moved to stand closer to Tobias. “You can just wait until we’re done.”