Chapter 15
Chapter Fifteen
Matthew
The morning of his wedding dawned bright, without a cloud in the sky.
Matthew took that as a good sign. Rather than breaking his fast in the dining room, he ordered a tray in.
The quiet was rather nice. Plus, it was bad luck to see his bride on their wedding day, so he flipped his coin to see if he should attend breakfast and discovered he should not.
So, a tray in his room it was.
He was not entirely surprised when his Grandmama stopped by to speak with him, not long after he finished eating. She did not even raise an eyebrow at finding him still in his dressing gown.
“Matthew.” She sighed as she sat down on one of his chairs. “Are you sure you know what you are about?”
Blinking, he tilted his head at her.
“What do you mean, Grandmama? I thought you liked Johanna. You certainly are spending my money as if you do.”
“I would spend the money regardless, as she and her family need to be brought up to snuff if she is going to be your bride,” she said reprovingly.
“But you are moving very quickly. The poor girl is overwhelmed. Her family is overwhelmed. You have moved them from their own home and are thrusting them into the heart of the ton, unprepared and untrained.”
“They are overwhelmed?” He had seen no evidence of any such thing.
“Yes. Well, not Bridget.” Grandmama waved her hand. “I do not think Napoleon’s armies could have overwhelmed that girl. But the rest of them…”
“If they are overwhelmed, they are bearing up incredibly well.”
“Perhaps.” She pursed her lips, and he knew that she had not yet gotten around to what she really wanted to say.
Which was unusual for her, as normally she went straight to the point.
She only avoided it when she thought he might take it badly.
“More to the point, are you sure you want to marry her?”
“Of course.” He realized his hand was smoothing over the pocket where his coin rested, and he quickly dropped his hand into his lap.
Grandmama, of course, saw everything anyway, and she raised her eyebrow at him.
“I have already said I would, and I see no reason to change my mind. She is perfectly suitable.”
Besides, his coin had told him to.
Which he knew was his grandmother’s real objection.
“What I am saying is that you cannot flip a coin for love,” she finally said, sounding exasperated.
Yes, he’d been correct, although he was surprised by her assumption.
“Oh, I know,” he reassured her. “I flipped it for a bride.”
The expression on her face was very odd. If she was not his grandmother, he would think she wanted to stick him with a fork, the way Lady Astrid would with Drake. She closed her eyes for a moment, and he knew that she was calling on her patience, though he did not entirely understand why.
Matthew waited. If she had a point to make, she would do so when she was ready.
Finally, she opened her eyes again.
“I want you to be happy, Matthew,” she said firmly, and he nodded. Happy was also what he wanted. “I would like you to have a love match. Like your friends.”
“You know those were not truly love matches.”
“They became such.”
Had they? Matthew had not realized. Or perhaps it was just his grandmother being fanciful.
Of course, Gregory and Nathanial liked their wives.
Nathanial had forgiven Kalina for trapping him—or, rather, he now believed it was her father who had trapped him and he’d forgiven her father.
Gregory was married to Sebastian’s sister, so of course he was going to do everything he could to keep her happy.
But love?
That seemed unlikely.
He would have to ask them.
“Do you think you could one day love Johanna?” Grandmama asked wistfully.
“I do not know.” It was the honest answer.
“Don’t you dare take out that coin to flip it for this!” Her sharp order made him drop his hand.
Which was for the best, as he had not realized that he was reaching for the coin until she’d told him not to. Still, he did not see what was wrong with using his coin to ask if he would fall in love with his wife.
“I was not going to.”
It was a lie, and they both knew it.
“Promise me, Matthew.” Grandmama gave him that hard look that let him know she was not going to leave him alone until he did as she asked. “Promise me that you will not flip that coin for love. That is not how love works.”
“I promise,” he said. It did not matter anyway. They were getting married; that had nothing to do with love.
His grandmother looked at him as though she was uncertain he was telling her the truth, but after a moment, she sighed and nodded.
“Very well. I will see you at the chapel. Do not be late.”
“Of course.”
He was not going to miss out on his wedding because he was certainly not going to miss out on his wedding night.
Johanna
Rather than going down to breakfast, Johanna took a tray in her room.
She was far too nervous to face anyone over the breakfast table.
The thought of dealing with her siblings and their questions was too much.
Besides, she wanted some peace and quiet before her life changed even more than it already had.
Just being in this room made her feel anxious. Knowing that tonight she would be moving to the duchess’ room… and knowing she was going to have to fulfill her marital duties…
That was both exciting and nerve-racking.
The knock on her door did not surprise her.
“Come in,” she called.
The door opened a crack, and Rose slipped in, a frown on her face.
“You did not come down to breakfast,” she said, coming into the room.
She pulled one of the extra chairs over to where Johanna was sitting at the window seat, settling on the other side of Johanna’s breakfast tray.
She was dressed in a cream gown with a misty red overgown, the combination lightening the scarlet hue so it was not so bright.
“I wanted to eat here and gather my thoughts.” Johanna gestured at the tray, which was admittedly still quite full. She had not managed to eat more than a few bites, even without the distractions of the rest of her family.
“Doing more of the latter than the former, I see.” Rose pushed the plate toward Johanna.
With an internal sigh, Johanna leaned forward and picked up the piece of toast that she’d nibbled on. She could nibble a little more.
“Your mother’s fever is holding steady. It has not gone down, but it has not gone up.”
Nodding, Johanna sighed. She had looked in on her mother earlier, but her mother had been sleeping peacefully, and she had not wanted to disturb her rest. As much as she wanted her mother to be at her wedding, this might be for the best. This way, she would not have to worry about her mother saying something she should not in the middle of it.
Some of the tension she was feeling receded.
Yes. Perhaps it was better that her mother not attend.
Once mother was feeling better, surely this delusion about being a part of the deaths of the dukes would go away.
“What of Bridget and Charlotte?”
“Bridget is in alt at the idea of being your flower girl. Charlotte is… Charlotte. I think they enjoyed meeting Emma and Fiona last night.” Rose’s lips quirked. “Did you know that Fiona had a squirrel in her pocket while she was here?”
Johanna’s mouth dropped open in shock and slight horror at the realization of what could have gone wrong.
“I did not,” she said faintly.
“Do not worry, I mentioned it to Kalina, and she promised to ensure Fiona would not sneak any animals into the wedding with her.” Rose smiled. “Apparently, she is a great animal lover and spends a lot of time taking care of injured ones, which is how she got the squirrel.”
“Do you think Lady Stark knew?” Johanna asked, her hand drifting up to her mouth. “She must not have. Can you imagine how she would have reacted? I hope Charlotte does not get any ideas…”
“I do not think Charlotte’s interests include bringing home scores of animals,” Rose reassured her with a smirk. She picked up a piece of fruit to eat from Johanna’s tray. “Micah was worried you did not come down to breakfast, but I reassured him that you were probably resting before the hubbub.”
Her poor brother. Too young to properly be the earl, yet feeling all the weight of it.
“Thank you. I probably should have thought about how they would react, but… I just needed some quiet.”
“Understandably. And by this evening, you will be a married woman.” Rose glanced around the room. “Have your things already been moved?”
“What things I had.” Most of her wardrobe was still on its way from the modiste, although the wedding gown should be delivered at any moment.
Once it was, she would get dressed. She smoothed her hands over the skirt of the day gown she’d put on to eat her breakfast and let out a long breath.
“I cannot believe I am to be in the duchess’ rooms tonight. ”
“Are you worried about tonight?” Rose’s eyes glinted with curiosity.
“Of course,” Johanna admitted. “I mean, theoretically, I know what to do. But I do not actually know what to do. If you know what I mean.”
“Strangely, I think I do. Do you want to do it?”
“I… I think I do.” She felt the blush rise in her cheeks, lowering her voice even though it was just the two of them in the room together. “Last night I had another dream about him. Kissing me. Touching me. It was… I woke up tingling.”
“That is a good sign, then, I would think. Not that I know.” Rose smiled impishly. “But it seems as though it should be.”
“I think so.”
The sharp rapping sound on her door made both of them jump, and Johanna’s piece of toast went flying from her nerveless fingers. Thankfully, it landed on the tray in front of her. Unfortunately, it landed in her tea.
“Johanna, your gown is here.” Lady Stark swept into the room, followed by Nettie and several maids, one of whom was holding a box. “Oh, good, Rose, you’re here.” Her gaze swept over Rose’s attire as she got to her feet. “You look perfect. Well done, dear.”
Johanna fished her toast out of her tea and set it back on the plate. Well, at least no one was going to expect her to eat it now. No one wanted to eat soggy toast.
“Now, girl, let’s get you ready for your wedding day.”
It was a flurry of activity around her, which became even more chaotic when Bridget and Charlotte came in.
Not that Charlotte added to the chaos, but Bridget certainly did.
She was right in the middle of things with her opinions as the maids worked on getting Johanna dressed and her hair properly coiffed.
Yesterday’s jewels were brought out again.
They sparkled against the ribbed silk of her lilac wedding gown, and her eyes appeared even lighter and brighter in reflection of both.
With Johanna’s hair curled and pinned, Nettie carefully lifted the amethyst tiara into place. It shimmered against her hair.
“You look like a fairy queen,” Charlotte whispered, appearing at Johanna’s side in the mirror, staring wide-eyed at her.
“I do?”
Charlotte nodded.
“You do,” Bridget confirmed, pushing her way to stand on Johanna’s other side. “And we are your fairy princesses.”
Charlotte made a face at the description but did not protest.
Truthfully, Charlotte looked more like a fairy princess than Bridget, but Johanna was not going to burst her sister’s joy. They’d had precious little of it over the years.
“You all look splendid,” Lady Stark pronounced. “But we must move now, or we are going to be late.”
Flutters zipped through Johanna’s stomach. Late for her wedding. To a duke.
Her wedding. To a duke.
She took as deep a breath as her stays would allow, feeling her bosom expand upward as she did so. It did not help as much as she would have hoped. It rather felt as though her soul had left her body, though it continued to move and breathe, dragging her along with it.
In a few hours, she would be the Duchess of St. Albans.
Lifting her chin, she steeled herself. It was what she had to do to save her family, no matter how little she felt ready to take on the role of a duchess.