Chapter Two
Chris, Duke of Saxby, contemplated the benefits of him having drunk a little more last night.
It was a wedding celebration after all. Sally and Jacob said their vows, tears were shed, laughs were had, and he…
well, he mostly enjoyed it. It was probably rude to say that he was eager to leave, so he hadn’t said it, not to anyone.
Hardly even to himself because, truly, he didn’t fully understand why he wanted to leave.
Sally and Jacob were his friends, and he was happy for them. Overjoyed. Probably.
And besides that, he had been surrounded by friends for the entire house party.
He had no reason to be keen on leaving. Yet…
he itched for something more. He just couldn’t put his finger on it.
It was like looking for that perfect place to lay a hat and not being able to find it, so a person just walked around dumbly with a hat outstretched between their fingers.
That’s how he felt. Like he was holding a hat and he didn’t know where to place it.
So, the next best place for a hat was just back on a person’s head, and that meant said person was heading out.
Chris shook his head, noticing the rambling nature of his thoughts. It was all amounting to the same thing. He needed something new. He needed a change of scenery. He needed to get out of there.
It was for the best. There was no sense in delaying the inevitable.
It was like pulling out a tooth, best to just rip it out.
He rubbed his jaw at the thought of his younger days.
Had he really used a door and a string to pull out a tooth that he was over eager to have gone?
Thankfully, he had matured into a much more patient man.
At least, most of the time he was quite patient.
Hadn’t he just spent all morning looking for Nobi?
In doing that, he exerted a tremendous amount of patience.
But that was because he absolutely needed to talk with her before he left.
Why hadn’t they made plans to bid adieu?
They weren’t the kind to do that. Well…except when they had made plans in the past. Good plans.
Marvelous plans. Plans a man dreamt about happening while he waited for them to happen, and then those same plans he dreamt about after they occurred because the real thing was better than his previous dreams.
At the thoughts, warmth flooded Chris in places he didn’t want to mention. He locked those thoughts in a box like he always did.
But really, he needed to talk to Nobi. He had been withholding his secret from her for too long.
They both knew it was going to happen soon, but he hadn’t told her how soon.
Chris didn’t normally consider himself a careless man, or a man lacking courage…
but this last summer (and wasn’t that the crux of it?) he had been quieter (less courageous) than usual. At least when it came to Nobi.
They had been spending extra time around each other, he should have been able to tell her his plans. It was easy to tell her because she already knew he wanted to do it…she just didn’t know when.
When being now. After this house party he would be leaving.
At the prospect of his adventure, something almost resembling pain lanced through his chest. No, that couldn’t be right.
It wasn’t pain. He was excited. Enthralled.
Delirious with anticipation, no? He needed only to imagine the pyramids that he had up until now only seen paintings of.
Or he could envision the cathedrals he would walk through with their stained glass windows.
And the food…mmm…he was beyond eager to try new foods, have new spices and flavors burst over his tongue.
Yes. That was what he wanted to do, and that’s what he was finally going to do.
Nothing was going to stop him now. There was no one in his way. No one…at all…
He was finally getting to do what he had always wanted. Ever since he could remember this had been his dream.
Only his friends and family had prevented him from leaving. Not like they were anything significant or anything…
But they hadn’t prevented his departure in a naysaying fashion, just their sheer presence (and state of being) had waylaid him.
Why leave when everything was good? Sam, Wes, James, and he were the closest friends; the Betting Buddies.
If things were good, there was no point in leaving.
But when first Wes found a wife, and then James got engaged, well, Chris started making plans for his own life.
There was no point in putting it on hold any longer.
Despite that pesky pain ribbing him in his chest.
And it was a good thing, too, that he had put plans into action, because then Sam had gone and married as well.
Of course, all the planning had all been triggered by his father’s passing a while ago.
But in the moment of his death, Chris had been too grieved to think about himself.
He had been taking care of his father for so long, preparing himself (and everyone) for his father’s imminent departure, that he just hadn’t put as much planning into what would happen for him after his father’s death.
Well, that and he respected and honored his father. It wasn’t as though he resented being with him up until his death. He had tried to hold onto each moment together. Sharing meals, playing cards after dinner, and talking about anything and everything.
He soaked up as much as his father as he could, knowing he would pass away soon, and then he would have no time to learn about how his father grew up.
He wouldn’t be able to ask him the first time he rode a horse.
(Four years old). The first time he kissed a woman.
(Sixteen years old). His favorite homemade meal. (Chicken and potatoes).
So the last few years, after he graduated college, Chris had made sure to be close to home, able to spend time with his father.
They had worked meticulously to ensure the estate was in good order and that they had a man of business they could trust. There was no reason for Chris to be worried.
They had planned everything down to the last detail.
To the point that Chris was hardly needed to manage anything personally. It was all time well spent.
And he would never regret it. He had peace about his decision to postpone his own dreams.
He was a man made of peace. He was a peacekeeper. Peacemaker. Peace-instiller.
So…about this burrowing feeling in his chest…
that was new. It was not the peaceful feeling that normally resided within him.
Normally he felt settled and calm. His friends looked to him to be the level-headed one in the group, amidst an argument or fight.
He wasn’t easily riled up. But right now, the ruffling feeling was borderline painful.
Certainly beyond irritating. All of it was vexing, and he just didn’t have the patience to analyze it further.
He needed to talk to Nobi, but she wasn’t available.
He reassured himself. He would send her a note. They would correspond.
He rubbed his chest, right over his heart. It was fine. Forget the churning sensations.
He chalked it up to nerves, knowing Nobi wouldn’t be happy to hear his news.
But he felt as though he owed it to her to tell her in person.
After all they had been through together.
The memories, the various incarnations of her swept through his mind so rapidly he couldn’t pick just one to land on.
All their firsts together tumbled one over the other, clamoring to gain dominance in his mind’s eye.
It was all her, together. Each bit and piece.
Each memory. All synchronized together to form Nobi. His friend.
And she was a good friend. Friend. The word sat awkwardly on his tongue, not wanting to roll off of it.
But that’s what she was. They had agreed upon it very clearly. And repeatedly.
So, knowing how to treat a good friend, he was in search of this good friend, to tell her the good news that a good friend would only be too delighted to hear.
He was finally going to be the world traveler he had always dreamed of becoming. Adventure awaited. And he could feel the anticipation roiling through him. There was no one particular destination. No one place he wanted to settle. He wasn’t a settler. He wanted to roam. Be free. Explore.
He had traversed England as much as he could without going too far from home.
Now he wanted to venture onto the continent.
He envied those who had explored caves and partaken in archeological digs.
Not because he wanted to find anything, but simply for the experience.
He wanted to breathe new air, taste new food, and see new sites.
And he didn’t plan to stop on the continent.
It was his dream to venture as far as India and China.
Perhaps further if he could. There were no constraints now. Well, not really.
He could explore the open roads, the wide open skies, the vast emptiness that lay before him.
Emptiness for him to fill. Nothing was stopping him from going.
So long as one didn’t count that one friend.
Which he couldn’t. She would marry soon, and their friendship was bound to change dramatically at that time anyway.
Despite the wince that permeated his stomach, he’d rather put distance between them when that time came.
He didn’t especially envy the idea of watching her walk down the aisle, so it was best to send his felicitations from afar.
They could still be friends. Of course.
But at this juncture in his life, he didn’t want to feel guilty about pursuing his dreams.
So much time had been spent sacrificing (and yes, it had been rewarding), but now he wanted to live life for himself. A life worthy of his soul.
And that soul was calling out to him to find more. Yes, he could hear her calling and he was desperate to answer that one word on repeat. Adventure.